STAR WARS EPISODE II - ATTACK OF THE CLONES

Okay, lets dispel with the pleasantries and get down to it.

What's the one word that best describes this movie?

Boring.

Sorry, Georgy boy, but I can't help feel that you pulled a fast con job on everybody. I mean, here was one movie almost everybody had been anticipating and willing to spend good money on…and this is what we get?! Wooden acting, bad dialogue and a ~yawn~ oh-so 'compelling' romance.

The story continues 10 years after Episode 1. Amadila is no longer Queen of Naboo but instead senator. Anakin is all grown up. Obi-Wan is sporting a beard. All the bits and pieces are in place as they work like clockwork to bring us closer to the original 3 Star Wars that we know. Which becomes one of its major problems, I reckon. Everything works too much like clockwork. Even the acting and dialogue. Geesh. I thought I was watching mechanical wooden puppets on the screen. And the dialogue! Can anything be more contrived and trite? A check during the end credits saw Georgy boy's and some other name pop up next to screenplay. Oh my. Here's a tip for Episode 3, Mr Lucas sir: You may want to think about hiring a real writer to do the job.

Besides delving on the Anakin and Amadila love affair, Episode 2 also showed us traces of Anakin's character - his desire to be more than he is and a need to feel appreciated - leads to, what I suppose is, a rebellious streak with hints of cold-bloodedness. Palpatine (whom we all should know by now is the evil Lord Sith - oops, you didn't know? Oh. Sorry…) plays upon this weakness and slowly seduces Anakin with sweet words that boosts the boy's ego. No, we don't get to see Anakin's full descent into the dark side as yet. And he is anything but the big bad Darth Vader we know. Anakin, at this point in time, just reminds me of a misunderstood teenage boy who craves for attention and who can't keep his emotions in check.

All right, aside from the story, everything else is pretty breathtaking. The computer graphics were undoubtedly well done (kudos to the people at Industrial Light and Magic) although you can't help but feel that they might have 'borrowed' some ideas off other movies. The city flying scenes, for instance, reminded me of something out of The Fifth Element; and there was one particular scene with Amadila that had traces of Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. Other movies that come to mind are Blade Runner and The Gladiator. As usual, the light saber fighting scenes are always a delight to watch. And I thought Anakin brandishing two light sabers at one go (even though it was only for a short while) was a nice touch.

The highlight of the movie? Which unfortunately was also towards the end…was, of course, watching Yoda in action. Talk about kick-ass speedy moves. For an old fellow, this guy is more nimble than Jet Li or Jackie Chan! You'll cheer at the sight and then laugh when he reverts back to his walking cane wobbling self. This scene will definitely bring a smile to your face.

Some interesting things
- Remember the Death Star? That round globe spaceship thingy that could destroy planets? Well, it makes an appearance in Episode 2…even though it is only a holographic plan.

- And…we now also know how those millions of Storm Troopers came to be. The movie explains the learning process of the clones, thus accounting for their supposed 'intelligence'. Actually, a friend of mine made a rather interesting observation. I quote him: "So I guess this means that in the later episodes they must have sped up the process 'cos I remember those Storm Troopers were pretty stupid…" Hmm…maybe. Maybe Georgy boy would touch on this in Episode 3?

- I've never noticed this before…but Yoda speaks funny! His speech, is anybody else starting to imitate? ~grin~

So, to watch or not to watch?
Are you kidding me? This is Star Wars we're talking about here. No matter what anybody writes or what anybody says, you're probably going to watch it anyway (I know I did!) Considering the many differing opinions regarding this episode, well, you'll just have to watch it and see which side of the fence you fall into then.

This review can also be found at spcnet.
Agree/disagree with my review? Drop a note in the guestbook.

<