I open my eyes slowly and stretch my limbs out lazily. I’ve had an amazing sleep, for the first time since I split up with Brian. I smile and look over at JC who is still sleeping peacefully. It was good having another warm body in my bed. I had gotten used to sleeping with Brian and now he’s not here, it has been hard sleeping alone. I know I’ll have to get used to it but last night was kinda like a reprieve. I climb out of bed quietly and take a shower. Ten minutes later, I wrap myself up in a towelling robe and walk back into the main room just as there’s a knock on the door. I answer it before it wakes JC and see that it’s Brian so I step out, closing the door a little behind me so that he can’t see into the room.
“Brian, hi,” I say nervously. I am so scared he will see JC and I am nervous of what he might be about to say to me. “Everything ok?”
“Uh, yeah,” he studies me closely. “You ok?”
“Yeah,” I giggle nervously.
“You haven’t been drinking?”
“No!” I shake my head. “No. I just didn’t sleep that well, that’s all. I guess I’m a little wired.”
“Fine,” he sighs. “I just came to tell you that we’re all going to see the Grand Canyon. Management hired a little plane for us.”
“That’s nice,” I mutter.
“You could come,” he says.
“Do you want me to?” I ask and he looks at the floor. “Didn’t think so. Have a good day Brian,” I walk back into the room and shut the door, leaning against it as I start to cry.
“Jade,” JC murmurs and walks over to me. I guess Brian’s knock had woken him up after all. He pulls me into his arms and I sob into his chest. “What’s wrong? Was that Brian?” I nod and he sighs, starting to stroke my hair as I keep crying. “Come and sit down,” he walks me over to the couch and we sit down. He keeps his arms around me and I stop crying. “What’d he say?”
“It wasn’t what he said, it was just… Everything’s changed. He can’t even LOOK at me anymore.”
“I don’t know what to say Jade,” he sighs and I sit up, away from him. He runs his hand through his hair and looks at me. “I want you to be with ME Jade. That’s why I’m here. You know that already. I can’t advise you on what to do here. I wish I could but I’m too close.”
“I know,” I admit quietly. “I don’t know what to do. I love him. We have so much history, but I like you.”
“We could have history too. If you gave us the chance.”
“Why have you changed your mind? You were fine with me being with Brian before. You said you don’t have time for a relationship.”
“I’d make time for you. I’ve changed my mind because you’re not with Brian anymore and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I had to come here and ask you to figure me into this equation, see if maybe…”
“What do I do?” I mutter hopelessly.
“You’re the only one who can figure that one out.”
“No kidding,” I say dryly and drop my head into my hands.
“You shouldn’t be so damn attractive,” he jokes lightly and starts to rub my back gently.
“Ah, so you’re only interested in me for my looks huh?” I giggle, grateful that he broke the tension.
“No way!” he exclaims. “I like your body too.”
“Thanks,” I laugh.
“So, what you doing today?”
“Nothing.”
“Now there’s a coincidence,” he grins. “Me neither.”
“Wow, who’da thought that?” I laugh and he shrugs.
“Amazing. Shall we do something? Just as friends,” he adds when he sees me start to frown. “No pressure.”
“Ok,” I nod. “I’d like that. I’ll just get dressed and we’ll go out,” I stand up.
“Uh, maybe we could start by finding me some clothes,” he suggests looking down at his rumpled shirt.
“You didn’t bring a bag?”
“I was in a rush,” he admits sheepishly. “I had a concert and then I just caught the first flight here.”
“Wow,” I murmur and kiss his cheek softly. I can’t believe this man had rushed to see me after doing over a two hour show. It makes me feel honoured. I know how exhausted Brian is straight after a show and to just catch a flight instead of relaxing for a while is crazy.
“I wanted to see you,” he blushes slightly.
After Jade had shut her door on him, Brian went back to his room to grab his jacket before joining the rest of the group in the hotel lobby. He regrets not telling Jade he wanted her to go with him. He had gone to see her with the aim of inviting her along. He had hoped that maybe they could talk easier away from the Backstreet schedule. But she had seemed almost happy and he had resented that. How dare she be happy when he feels like hell? He misses her so much and he wishes he knew what to do to make everything right again. He watches Nick hugging Ali and sighs heavily.
“No Jade?” Kevin asks him.
“I didn’t ask her.”
“Why?”
“I just couldn’t,” he shrugs.
“Ok,” Kevin says and touches Brian’s shoulder gently. “You’ll work it out.”
“I wish I knew how,” Brian admits.
“It’s gonna be good today though,” Kevin changes the topic, not knowing what else to say.
“Yeah. I’ve never flown low over the Canyon before,” Brian says unenthusiastically.
“Go and try again,” Kevin tells him.
“Try what?”
“Asking Jade. Just knock on her door and say “Jade, I want you to come be with me today”. That’s not hard is it?”
“I guess not.”
“So, go do it!” Kevin orders and pushes Brian in the direction of the elevators. “We’ll wait.” He watches Brian go and walks back to the rest of the group. “Brian’s gone to ask Jade along.”
“I thought he did already,” says Howie.
“He chickened out,” Kevin says. “God, that girl better come,” he warns.
“I wouldn’t,” Ali says. “I mean, spending a day with your ex-boyfriend and his four best friends and having to be all polite and awkward… Ugh,” she shudders.
“Well, let’s hope Jade isn’t like you Alicia,” Kevin says coldly.
“She’s a lot more like me than you think,” she says, looking at AJ.
Brian rides up to Jade’s floor and steps out of the elevator. He walks slowly down to Jade’s room and stops just before her door. He takes a deep breath and is about to walk up to her room when the door opens. He stops and watches Jade walk out. She’s giggling and turns her head to look back just as someone else follows her, shutting the door behind him. Brian realises it’s JC Chasez and stares at them. They haven’t noticed him yet and JC rests his hand on Jade’s lower back as they turn to walk to the elevators and towards Brian.
“Brian?!” Jade’s eyes widen and JC’s hand drops away from her quickly.
“I was just going to invite you on the trip but I guess you have better things to do,” Brian says with a calmness he doesn’t feel.
“It’s not…” Jade starts.
“What I think?” Brian finishes. “Cos I think he just spent the night in your room. And it’s sure lookin’ that way too,” he takes in JC’s rumpled clothes.
“I only got here at 4am,” JC says quietly. “And I slept on the couch.”
“Really? I find that hard to believe, knowing what I know about you,” Brian raises an eyebrow and then looks at Jade. “Tell me what happened. I’ll believe YOU.”
“JC’s telling the truth,” she says.
“Why is he here?”
“I came to…”
“I asked her!” Brian yells, cutting JC off with blazing eyes. “Jade?” he asks more calmly.
“He’s here for me,” she tells him. “As a friend and…”
“To ask you to be with him?” Brian finishes and she nods slowly.
“I don’t see that it’s anything to do with you,” JC says angrily. “You split up.”
“Of course it’s my business!” Brian yells, walking up to eyeball JC. “I LOVE her. I’ve loved her a lot longer than you have and I WILL love her a lot longer too! She’s MY girl.”
“Not anymore!” JC responds.
“HEY!” Jade yells and gets in-between the two men. “I’m SOMEBODY you know! I have my own opinions and I do NOT need you two playing that’s-my-toy-no-it’s-mine with me. Ok?!”
“You have to choose Jade,” Brian states.
“Do I?!” she glares at him. “Because last time I looked, WE WEREN’T TOGETHER!”
“So you choose JC?!”
“I choose neither of you right now!” she yells and turns her back on them both to push the elevator call button.
“I’m not asking you to choose right now,” JC says gently.
“Well I AM!” Brian yells angrily. “I wanted to MARRY you Jade! I STILL do!”
“Thing about marriage,” she turns around to face him, “you kinda have to BE with somebody before you can marry them.”
“I want to be with you,” he says. “But only if you will marry me. I can’t be with you if you won’t. I’m not asking you to marry me tomorrow, just say that you will one day.”
The elevator arrives and Jade steps inside, pushing the ground button. Before the doors close, the two guys step inside.
“Brian, you dumped me because I told you I was scared,” Jade tells him. “I’m still scared. Plus, I told you about kissing JC and you felt betrayed. What’s changed?”
“I never thought that I could lose you before,” he says honestly. “I just thought we’d both calm down a little and talk things through. But now HE’S here and you’re not telling him to fuck off and I’m SCARED Jady…” he almost whispers.
“Nothing’s changed,” JC states. “Jade, you know nothing has changed. These problems in your relationship will come back eventually.”
The elevator doors open onto the lobby and Jade walks out, closely followed by Brian and JC.
“We didn’t HAVE problems before you started stirring,” Brian tells JC angrily.
“That’s not true!” Jade whirls around to stare at him as the Backstreet group look up at them. “I kissed HIM Brian. He didn’t have to force me. For one whole night I was his girlfriend. Would I have done that if we were 100% ok?!”
“I…I…” Brian stutters in shock.
“She kissed JC?!” Nick says. “When did THAT happen?!”
“Fuck knows,” AJ shrugs.
“I’m guessing when we did the NSync video shoot,” Ali says.
“What NSync video shoot?!” Nick stares at her.
“We got invited to see them film the Girlfriend video,” Ali tells him and he nods.
“Oh, ok.”
“Oh and I played Lance’s girlfriend,” she adds casually and Nick glares at her. “Hey, at least I didn’t KISS him!”
“I thought we were great but then I kissed JC so maybe I was wrong,” Jade continues. “I mean, people don’t just kiss other people for no reason! Like you kissed Farrah!”
“That’s history!” Brian yells. “I kissed her because I got sucked in.”
“Exactly! You totally forgot all about ME,” Jade tells him.
“I LOVE you Jade. I know I made a mistake kissing Farrah and if I could change it, I would.”
“Well I didn’t make a mistake kissing JC,” Jade says and Brian pales. “I’m sorry Brian but I just feel so torn. I do love you but…”
“But?”
“I don’t know!” she exclaims. “There’s a but!”
“You guys are OVER,” JC tells Brian. “You’re just too scared to admit it.”
“Oh fuck off!” Brian yells in his face. “You know NOTHING about me and Jade. You could NEVER have anything even CLOSE to what I have with her.”
“You tell him,” AJ murmurs.
“I’m willing to try,” JC says quietly and there’s an audible gasp from the Backstreet camp.
“Oh, GOD!” Jade yells in frustration and marches towards the hotel doors.
“JADE!” Brian yells as he and JC follow her.
“NO!” she turns around to look at them both. “Don’t follow me. I am going someplace on my own and I don’t want to see either of you again for a VERY LONG TIME!” she finishes with a yell.
“Do you want me to catch a flight back?” JC catches her hand just as she’s about to leave and she looks at him for a while before replying.
“I don’t know.”
“Then I’ll stay,” he tells her as she leaves.
“JADE!” Brian runs outside as she flags down a taxi. “Don’t go. We can go somewhere, just you and me. We can sort it out.”
“I need some time on my own Brian,” she climbs into the car and it drives away.
Brian watches the car disappear and storms back into the hotel to confront JC. “What the FUCK do you think you’re doing?!”
“It’s not personal,” JC says.
“I’d say it’s VERY personal! Jade is my girlfriend and you are trying to steal her. That’s about as personal as it gets!”
“She’s not your girlfriend right now,” JC reminds him and turns away to book a room at the desk.
Brian starts to follow him but Kevin and Nick get in his way.
“Leave it bro,” Kevin says. “It’s not his fault.”
“He’s after her!” Brian yells.
“And Jade didn’t tell him to leave, she is stringing you BOTH along!” Kevin exclaims.
“She’s just confused,” Brian mutters. “She loves me. I know she does.”
“Then she’ll realise it for herself,” Kevin says.
“Where’s Ali?” Nick suddenly asks.