“What you doin’?” I find Jade huddled in a corner with Mindi, the group’s sax player.
“Mindi’s flaming us!” Jade giggles.
“Huh? One more in English please,” I tell her.
“It’s a word game,” Jade exclaims. “She can works out if people should be friends, lovers, acquaintances, married, enemies or sexual partners just by comparing their names.”
“Uh, ok,” I sit by them and peer over Mindi’s shoulder. It takes me a few minutes to work out how she does it but she basically writes the full names down of two people and crosses out the letters they share, counting the ones that are left and them counting through FLAMES until she hits one.
“I’ve done Jade with ALL the guys,” Mindi shows me the paper.
“Oh my God Jade!” I giggle as I read it. “You should marry KEVIN!”
“Uh huh!” she laughs. “And I’m Nicky’s lover…”
“But Howie’s your enemy, and you get to have sex with Brian and AJ,” I finish off with a grin. “Gee, I hope Kevin’s ok with you guys having an open marriage.”
“He’s got no choice,” she laughs. “Mindi, do Ali!”
“Sure,” Mindi laughs. “What’s your last name?”
“McNamara,” I tell her and she gets to work.
“Whoa, Kevin hates you,” Jade says as Mindi finishes half the profiles.
“Big surprise,” I roll my eyes.
“And you get to have sex with Nick…and AJ?! Ew!”
“Sex between cousins is legal,” I remind her and she laughs.
“Yeah but AJ?!”
“True!” I agree.
“And you’re just acquainted with Brian and Howie,” Mindi declares.
“Of course, I barely know ‘em!” I laugh. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever seen Brian use my shower at ALL.”
“Ali!” Jade exclaims and I grin.
“Hey, so I walked in on him once,” I shrug and she hits me. “Ow! Let’s go tell Kevin he should marry you!” I suggest and grab her hand.
“Thanks Mindi!” she yells as I drag her off.
We find the guys chilling out in the games room. Nick and Brian are playing on the PS2, Kevin is standing watching them, and Howie and AJ are stretched out on the couch with magazines.
“Hey Kevin,” Jade walks over to him and wraps her arms around him. He hugs her back, surprised. “Mindi just flamed us and apparently we should be married,” she continues.
“Flamed?!” Kevin asks. “That sounds painful.”
“It’s a word game,” I tell him. “Mindi just compares people’s names to see if they should be friends, lovers, acquaintances, married, enemies or sexual partners.”
“And we should be married?” Kevin asks Jade who nods. “Ok, I’ll just call Kris and tell her,” he grins and keeps his arms around her. “And you better let Brian down gently…”
“Oh, I don’t have to,” she says innocently glancing at Brian who is laughing. “Apparently we have an open marriage.”
“We do?” Kevin raises an eyebrow.
“Uh huh. So me and Brian are lovers, and I have sex with Nick and AJ too.”
“What about me?!” exclaims Howie as the other guys laugh.
“Oh, apparently you hate me.”
“Of course I do!” he laughs. “You’re messing around four of my bestest friends!”
“Well…” she shrugs and everyone laughs.
“How about you Ali?” Nick looks at me. “Who do you marry?”
“None of you guys. But I do get to have sex with you…”
“Go me!” he laughs. “I get you AND Jade.”
“AND AJ,” I add.
“You get to fuck me?!” asks AJ. “I guess the game doesn’t take into account the family thing.”
“Cousins can get it on legally y’know,” I tell him.
“Yeah but this ain’t hicksville girl,” he says. “It might be ok in Kentucky or Georgia but…”
“HEY!” complain Jade, Brian and Kevin simultaneously. AJ just laughs.
“And I barely know Brian and Howie but Kevin hates me,” I finish off.
“I do? Aw,” Kevin says. “I guess I got upset at you fucking your cousin,” he deadpans.
“So, do we got to re-couple?” grins Brian. “Seeing as we all got it so wrong?”
“Hmm…” Jade looks at Kevin seriously. “I’m sorry darling but…”
“Yeah, me too,” he laughs and lets her go. “I think I’ll stick with Kris. A divorce would be way too much hassle,” he adds with a grin.
“So I guess you’re stuck with me,” Jade walks over and settles herself on Brian’s lap. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her neck.
“That’s ok with me.”
“And you still got me,” I tell Nick.
“Damn,” Nick laughs and I grab the nearest cushion and aim it successfully at his head. “OW!”
I laugh at Nick’s over-exaggeration – anyone would think Ali had aimed a brick at his head instead of a cushion. I glance back at the door and see Janice about to walk by. She catches me looking and stops, putting a finger to her lips and beckoning me outside. So I head out to see her.
“How do you fancy shocking those guys?” she asks mischievously.
“I am ALWAYS up for that Jan!” I giggle.
“Get Ali, and tell her I want to give you guys new hairstyles.”
“Hairstyles?” I ask.
“Yup, I got a boxload of wigs in this morning!”
“Oh yes!” I laugh and head back into the room. “Hey Ali, we gotta go see Janice now.”
“We do?” she looks at me.
“Uh huh, did you forgot that appointment we made last week?”
“Appointment?”
“Yup, for our HAIR,” I say exaggeratedly.
“For our hair?” she asks and I nod. “Oh, for our HAIR! I almost forgot. Let’s go,” she grabs my hand and we start to leave.
“What’re you doin’ to your hair?” Brian asks.
“Cos I like it just the way it is,” Nick says.
“Me too,” Brian agrees. “You both have GREAT hair.”
“You’ll see,” I giggle. “Let’s just say, we both kinda want a change,” I head out and we get halfway to wardrobe before Ali stops me.
“Ok, what is goin’ on?”
“Janice has an idea how we can play a joke on the guys.”
“Oh yes?” Ali’s eyes sparkle.
“She has WIGS!”
“WIGS!! Oh my god, YES!” she giggles and we run into the wardrobe room. Janice is kneeling on the floor by a big crate and we join her. There must be about twenty wigs in that box.
“This is amazing!” I pull out a curly red one to examine it. “How’d you get them?”
“My brother runs a fancy dress shop and he sent me some of his old wigs. I LOVE wigs,” Janice giggles, trying on a long red one.
“We will totally fool the guys with these!” Ali says, examining the texture of one of them. “They feel so real. Jade, we should swap colours! You get a blonde one and I’ll get a black one.”
“Great idea!” I giggle and grab a long blonde wig. I walk over to the mirror and pull it on, tucking my own hair up under it. “Oh my GOD!” I exclaim when I see what I look like.
“JADE!” Ali screams. “You look totally like Britney! Only way sexier!”
“Aw thanks girl,” I giggle. “Put yours on!”
“Ok!” she giggles and joins me by the mirror to pull her long black wig on. “Oh my LORD!”
“You look kinda scary,” I tell her.
“I look like Morticia!” she exclaims. “I like it.”
“A totally vamp!” I giggle. “Nick will DIE.”
“Hell, yeah!” she nods. “Shall we go show?”
“Yeah!”
“Girls,” Janice stops us. “You gotta wait at least an hour if they’re to believe you dyed your hair.”
“Oh true,” Ali says, calming down
“Hey, they’re GUYS!” I exclaim. “What do they know about dying hair?!”
“Uh, AJ?” Ali says.
“Oh, I forgot AJ,” I sit down. “I will kill Brian if he likes this colour better than my natural one.”
“Nick will die too,” Ali agrees, playing with her new black hair.
We while away an hour talking to Janice and helping her stitch up the Boys’ costumes. It’s amazing how many of them had tears around the groin area. Ali suggested cutting a few stitches on Kevin’s pants so that they would fall down halfway through a strenuous dance routine but Janice ixnayed the idea. After the hour is up, we head back into the arena where we can hear the guys sound-checking. We sit in the front row and wait for them to notice we changed hair colours. It takes about ten minutes. Halfway through More Than That Brian smiles at me and then totally freezes up, staring at my hair. Nick dances into him.
“DUDE!” he complains, recovering his balance.
“You totally missed your line!” Kevin yells from the other side of the stage.
“Uh…” Brian stutters and points at me and Ali so the other four all look over.
“Whoa,” AJ grins. “Any blonde dye left for me?”
“Sorry, used it all up,” I grin.
“Fuckin’…” Nick mutters.
“Wow… Uh, that’s a change,” Howie stammers.
“Cool,” Kevin grins.
“Jade…” Brian mutters and jumps off to stage to study my hair closer. “Wow.”
“Like it?”
“Uh, yeah. What made you go blonde?”
“Fancied a change,” I shrug.
“It’s certainly that,” he stammers and I giggle.
“Ali, you look different,” Nick tells her.
“I know,” she grins. “Kinda vampy huh?”
“Yeah,” he grins back. “I’m gettin’ a real Addams Family vibe.”
“Turn ya on?” she winks and he blushes.
“Yeah… I guess…” he looks over at me and wolf-whistles. “Jade, that is DEFINITELY sexy.”
“Nick!” Ali yells and hits him lightly.
“Well it is!” he defends. “Ya know how I like blondes.”
“Humpf,” she folds her arms and he is quick to give her a hug.
“You like blondes too huh?” I ask Brian. “I mean, you’ve always dated blondes before me.”
“Yeah but…” he’s not sure what to say. “I liked ya natural but this is good too,” he hedges his bets and I giggle.
“That’s good cos I’m thinkin’ of keeping it this way…permanently.”
“Really?” he gulps slightly and then slips his arm around me. “Well, I guess I’m gonna have to keep you chained up then. The guys will go crazy over you now.”
“They don’t already?” I ask.
“Sure they do! But y’know what they say about blondes?”
“No,” Ali says and he looks at her.
“Uh…they have more fun?”
“Too right they do!” she giggles and gives me a wink. We both pull our wigs off and the guys stare at us before bursting into laughter.
“Fooled ya,” I say and high-five Ali.
“Brian, your face was a CLASSIC!” she giggles. “I like you natural but this is good too,” she imitates his voice and I laugh. “And Nick!”
“Hey, I always said I like blondes best,” he defends with a grin.
“You did look good Jady,” Brian wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses my neck. “But I prefer you natural.”
“I gathered,” I giggle.