Brian drives around for a while before finding himself outside Kevin’s place. He really needs to talk to someone about the whole thing, get it off his mind. He climbs out of the car and locks the doors before walking up to the door and knocking. A few minutes later Kevin answers.
“Hey bro, whassup?” Kevin gives his cousin a hug before leading him into the house and through to the lounge.
“You got a little time?”
“Sure have. What’s up?” the two guys sit on the couch.
“You seen the new NSync video yet?” Brian asks heavily and Kevin shakes his head. “Oh it’s real fun viewing. It’s the one Jade and Ali filmed.”
“Ah,” Kevin says.
“Uh huh. It’s killing me,” Brian admits. “I watched the video and it was like watching her fall in love with somebody else. I thought I was over it but I’m not.”
“Oh,” Kevin sighs. “Have you told her that?”
“Not yet. Why did this have to happen now? Things were so perfect.”
“It would’ve happened eventually.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Brian shrugs. “What do I do Kevin?”
“I wish I knew,” the older man says and the two cousins sit in silence for a while. “Uh, did she tell you about the day she chose you over him?”
“No, what about it?”
“Uh, I kinda heard somethin’…” Kevin says carefully. “I heard that she chose him but missed him. Then you found her and she stayed with you. I mean, that’s somethin’ right? She coulda called him or somethin’ but she just realised you were the one for her,” Kevin backtracks a little as he sees Brian get visibly angry and then upset. “She loves you. I know that.”
“Does she? I mean, really?!” Brian jumps up. “I can’t believe she chose him.”
“But she’s with you. That means something.”
“Yeah, that I’m the only guy fool enough,” Brian storms out of the house followed by Kevin.
“Calm down bro!”
“I need to ask her about this!”
“Just stay here and have a coffee…”
“No way! My entire marriage might be a SHAM!” Brian yells, climbing into his car and speeding away.
Around twenty minutes later he walks purposely into his place. He finds Jade sat on the couch with a coffee. She jumps up when she sees him.
“Hi baby,” she says nervously.
“Did you choose JC over me?” he asks and she stares at him. “See, I heard that you chose him but you missed him. That right?”
She doesn’t answer and tears fill her eyes.
“So I guess I got my answer,” he tells her. “You didn’t even choose me.”
“I would’ve made the biggest mistake of my life if I had caught him.”
“Instead you made me make the biggest mistake of mine,” he tells her.
“Brian I love you,” she says, tears falling down her face.
“Our entire marriage is a LIE!” he yells. “I thought you chose me and I was willing to try and forgive you because I loved you so much! You made me BLIND Jade.”
“I’m sorry!” she sobs and drops to the floor, hugging her knees.
“All the crap you put me through and I still took you back. You must’ve thought I was such a loser. You figured you’d marry me cos I’m the only guy dumb enough?!”
“No!”
“Yes! I can’t believe I fell for it! How could you marry me Jade?! You couldn’t even choose ME over some guy you barely knew!”
“I love you!”
“Well I don’t love you. Not anymore,” he tells her. “I’ve come to the end of the line Jade. I mean, I thought you were the one person I could rely on and trust and love forever and now I find out that I’m nothin’ but second best to you!”
“You’re not!” she cries loudly. “Please Brian! I love you so much.”
“Then you’d better get over it cos we are THROUGH!” he yells and walks out of the house.
“No!” I scream and run after Brian as he heads to his car. “Please don’t leave me! I love you so much. We can talk this through, I know we can,” I reach him and touch his arm.
“Don’t touch me,” he says dangerously. “You don’t have the right to touch me anymore.”
“Brian…” I sob.
“I’m leaving you Jade. It’s over,” he says and slams his car door.
“No! We’re NOT over!” I tell him through my tears. “The day we are over, I die.”
“Then you better hope you die soon,” he says coldly as he revs the engine and pulls away.
“BRIAN!” I scream after him and crumple to the ground, crying harder than I’ve ever cried before. I can’t believe this has just happened. Last night had been so wonderful, talking about raising a family with each other… And now, today it’s all over. How did he find out? There’s only one person who could’ve told him and my tears give way to anger. I stand up and head to my car to go confront him. I just need somebody to blame for all this because I know eventually I will have to blame myself.
Thirty minutes later, I’m banging on AJ’s door and he eventually opens it.
“Whoa…” he starts to say but I push past him into the house. “Come on in Jady…” he starts sarcastically but gets no further because I fly at him, hitting his chest hard.
“How DARE you tell Brian that stuff?! I trusted you! You bastard!”
“Whoa, whoa,” he manages to grab my arms and hold me off him. “Tell Brian what? I haven’t spoken to him all week!”
“He knows about the JC thing!”
“He does?!” AJ stares at me. “But who told him?!”
“Uh, you?!”
“No. It wasn’t me Jady. You know you can trust me,” he says, looking into my eyes.
I know he’s right. AJ has never told Brian about my confessions, why would he start now?
“What happened?” he asks softly and I just crumple into his arms, sobbing. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight. “C’mon Jady,” he murmurs and manoeuvres us further into his house and over to a sofa. We sit down and he keeps a hold on me. “What happened?”
“He found out that I chose JC first and he was so angry at me,” I sob.
“I’m not surprised, but he’ll calm down.”
“He won’t! He was so different, cold. He said marrying me was the biggest mistake of his life, that he doesn’t love me and that we’re over… He doesn’t love me anymore!” I wail and AJ rocks me slowly.
“Of course he does. He didn’t mean that stuff. He was just lashing out, trying to hurt you as much as you hurt him.”
“Well he succeeded.”
“He’ll be back tomorrow, you’ll see,” AJ predicts.
“I don’t think so,” I sniff. “But I really hope I’m wrong.”
“Hey, he’s Brian. He loves you.”
“He can stop lovin’ me,” I say.
“Never. Not if he REALLY does,” AJ murmurs. “I should know that.”
“Sorry Aje, I shouldn’t have come here…to you,” I realise. “It’s not bein’ fair.”
“I’m glad you did,” he holds me tighter. “Because I will always be your friend and I’m honoured you trust me enough to tell me stuff.”
“God, how are you still here?” I say quietly. “All the crap I’ve put you through…”
When Brian returns home at 10pm, it’s to an empty place. He has spent the last few hours driving around, trying to get things straight in his head. When he had gotten tired, he had pulled over into a lay-by and just sat in silence. He walks through the silent house and wonders where Jade is, if she’s gone to JC or to another guy. He heads into the bedroom and pulls out a case, starting to pack. She had chosen JC over him. How the hell does he get over that and still be with her? He can’t spend the rest of his life knowing he was only second best to his wife, wondering if every time they make love she’s thinking of him. He loves Jade with everything he has but he’s not sure that it’s enough anymore.
I fell asleep in AJ’s arms after talking things through with him. It’s now 1am and I’m walking into my house. It feels cold and silent and I know he’s not here. I walk into the kitchen and there’s nothing out. In the bedroom, I check the closet and find most of Brian’s clothes missing. My heart just drops right down to my feet, smashing on the floor as I realise he has gone. I slowly sit down on the bed, staring into the half-empty closet. I can’t believe he’s gone. I need to talk to him so much, make him see that he could never be second best to me. Almost choosing JC was the dumbest mistake of my life and I thank God every day that it didn’t happen. I love Brian so much. He’s my life. And now he’s gone. I rub my eyes and stand up. I can’t even cry anymore. I just feel so numb. I walk into the lounge and stare at the darkness, wishing that Brian will walk in and say he’s not leaving me. There’s a piece of paper on the table and I pick it up.
I’ll contact you about the rest of my stuff and the house and everything. You’re finally free of me. Have a good life.
I read it through three times before starting to cry. I don’t feel so numb anymore. I feel like my world has just ended. And it has. If I don’t have him, I don’t have anything.