I throw down my magazine and rest my head against the couch. Ali is out with Nick at a club and Brian is visiting his brother in Kentucky. He’s due back tomorrow and I can’t wait to see him. I’ve missed him so much. The phone rings and I grab it.
“Yo.”
“Hey Jade, how ya doin’?”
I smile. “Doin’ good Howie. You?”
“I’m kinda bored so I wondered if we could go out?”
“Yeah, or you could come here. Ali’s out with Nick.”
“Cool. I’ll be right over.” He chuckles, “Ok, I’m here.”
“Huh?”
“I’m in my car outside your place.”
I laugh and head towards the door. “Pretty sure of yourself aren’t you?”
“Nup. Just figured I’d keep on driving if you weren’t interested.”
I open the door and we both hang up.
“Hi Jade,” he pulls me close for a hug and then follows me into the lounge. We sit down. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too. Where’ve you been lately?”
“I went to Puerto Rico with my mom and Angie. It was great! Just figured I’d make the most of our break.”
“Yeah, the tour starts next month, yeah?”
He nods. “Yup. In Orlando. You comin’ to that?”
“Try and stop me!” I giggle. “I’ve never seen you guys live!”
“Never?!” he looks shocked. “Wow. We better put on an extra good show!”
“You better,” I grin. “So tell me all about Puerto Rico.”
“Ok.”
We settle back onto the couch as he describes the country and his family. He tells me about going water-skiing with Angie’s husband, and about how his mom tried to cycle but kept falling off. And how he got mobbed by Backstreet fans whenever he ventured outside without shades and his hair tied back. We speak a little Spanish to each other, my dad taught me to speak Spanish from a young age. My mom could never get the hang of it, and Jay had never been interested. So it had been up to me to make my dad happy and carry on the Spanish-speaking tradition. Once Howie had found out about that, he started speaking Spanish to me whenever we’re alone. He says that it makes him feel more at home. Brian walked in on one of our Spanish conversations and told me afterwards that it made him totally paranoid. “Uno, dos, tres,” he had said, “that’s all the Spanish I know.”
“This is so much fun, Nick!” I yell in his ear.
He smiles and nods, lifting his drink to his lips. The lights are nearly blinding, and the floor is shaking from the loud music, but we’re having the time of our lives. We dance a while times before getting tired, and deciding to go to the bar to get ourselves a drink.
“Come on, let’s go over there and talk,” he screams, pointing to a dark booth near the back. We walk over and the music seems louder somehow.
“Wow, it’s so much…quieter over here,” I say wryly and he agrees. “So, what did you want to talk about?” I ask, smiling and taking a sip of my drink.
“The new tour.” I groan and he takes my hand in his. “It’s going to be even longer than our last tour, and it starts in just a little over a month.”
“This is so wrong! We just got together, can’t y’all wait a little longer?” I ask, pathetically.
“I wish we could.”
I lower my head and stare at my drink.
“Ali,” he continues, lifting my chin with his fingertips. “It’ll be all right, it’s only a few months. I’ll write every chance I get, and we’ll get a few breaks in between shows. I’ll come home as often as I can.”
“For what? One day at a time? I’m sorry, but that’s not good enough for me.”
He raises his eyebrows and his eyes glisten. “What are you saying, Ali?”
“I don’t know. That I need more than this.”
“Nobody said dating a Backstreet Boy would be easy,” he reminds me and I smile a little.
“I know. I guess I’ll make it. Besides, it’ll give us something to look forward to when you do get home.”
He smiles and slides out of his side of the booth and into mine. He kisses me on the cheek and puts his arm around me, “Thanks for understanding. You know I’m gonna miss you like crazy, right?”
I look at him and smile.
“So,” Howie says when he’s finished telling me his news, “I hear I missed meeting the famous Jay.”
I smile. “Yup, it was SO great to see him! But he’s coming back next week to do a sting operation on a couple of drug dealers, so maybe you’ll meet him then.”
“A sting?”
“Yeah!” I start telling Howie all about Jay’s plan, in my enthusiasm I manage to knock a glass of wine all over him. “Oh jeez! I’m sorry!” I race into the kitchen. “I’ll get a towel.”
He jumps up. “It’s ok Jade.” He takes the towel off me and dabs at his clothes. It doesn’t make much difference.
“You’d better take those clothes off. I can wash them and get them dry in an hour or so.”
“That’d be great, thanks.”
I follow him into my room. “Hey, I’m the wine-spiller here – least I can do!”
He chuckles and pulls his shirt off as I root through my closet for the old football shirt Jay gave me last year. When I turn around, he’s in his boxers and I can’t stop myself from giggling. He looks insulted which makes me laugh even more. I collapse on my bed, holding my stomach.
“Sorry,” I manage to choke out. “Your boxers!”
He looks down at his black boxers with a white waistband that reads `Backstreet Boys’ and laughs, “Hey, I get ‘em free!”
Before I can react, we hear the front door open and close, and footsteps come down the hallway. We stop laughing and Howie looks at me.
“Uh, any guesses?”
I shake my head as the door opens and Brian is standing there with a big bag over his shoulder. His smile fades as he takes in the sight of me lying on the bed with a practically naked Howie standing over me. He doesn’t say a word, just turns round and walks right out again. I finally get over my shock at seeing him and jump off the bed, throwing the football jersey at Howie on my way out of the door. I catch Brian at the front door and pull him back to face me.
“Brian! Where are you goin’?”
“Home.”
“Why?” I stare at him. “And what’re you doin’ here? I thought you were in Kentucky until tomorrow.”
“That’s pretty obvious.” He moves out of my reach and leans against the wall. “What were you doing with Howie?”
“Howie? He came over to tell me about Puerto Rico and I managed to spill wine all over him. So I told him to strip off and found one of Jay’s old jerseys for him.”
Brian rolls his eyes. “That has gotta be the OLDEST story…”
Howie slips past us, wearing the jersey and his damp pants. “Gotta go. Thanks Jade. I’ll call ya Bri,” he disappears.
I stare at Brian as it finally dawns on me exactly what he’s accusing me of. “Oh, y’know what? Believe it if you want to. I really don’t care.” I stomp into the lounge and Brian follows me angrily.
“What do you think it looks like from where I’m standing?!”
“You should TRUST me! You keep sayin’ that you love me, well if you can’t trust me too then that means fuck all.”
He sighs heavily and sits down next to me. “I’m sorry. I DO trust you. I’m just scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of losing you…”
“You’ll lose me a lot sooner if you act like that.”
Brian hangs his head. “I know.”
I look at him and my anger just disappears. Sometimes I can’t believe how much I love him. I sigh and move over to him. I wrap my arms around him and rest my head against his.
“You just seem so far away from me sometimes,” he confesses.
“I do?”
“Yeah. It’s hard to explain but sometimes I feel like I’m more into you than you are into me… And that scares me.”
I kiss the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if you think that honey, but it’s not true. I love you more than anyone I’ve EVER loved before. That scares ME. And I missed you so much these last few days… I’m dreading your tour.”
He looks at me and kisses me deeply. “Me too. But I’ll work somethin’ out. I’m not spendin’ months without you.”