I bang on the door until a light snaps on inside and a bedraggled AJ opens the door. I’ve obviously woken him up but right now I don’t care. He takes in my tear-stained face and my unsteady gait, and reaches out to pull me inside.
“Shit Jade, what happened?”
“It all got fucked up.”
“What did?” he sits me down on his couch. “The bar thing?”
“Yeah, and my life…” I look at him warily. “Did ya know about Ali?”
“What about Ali?”
“Her past?”
“Oh yeah,” he shrugs. “She used to sleep around a little.”
“AJ, she was a whore.”
“Huh?”
“Guys paid her for SEX, AJ.”
“WHAT?!” he stares at me in shock and I nod.
“Oh yeah, apparently she propositioned Jay who agreed to keep her secret. But it all came out tonight.”
“How?!”
“Apparently Nick made some crack about how realistic Ali was playin’ the part tonight and Brian let it slip. He already KNEW! Jeez!” I punch the couch cushion angrily. “I can’t believe they didn’t tell me! My brother, my boyfriend, my best friend… The three people who I love the most… And they didn’t fuckin’ TRUST me!” I start crying angrily and AJ pulls me into his arms. He rocks me back and forth, stroking my hair. After a while I start to calm down. I look at him. “Thanks AJ. This isn’t easy for you either.”
“No,” he says quietly. He touches my face gently. “It’s not easy. Nothing ever is.”
He traces the outline of my lips with his finger and then leans in to kiss me. I don’t move away and our lips touch. He wraps his arms tighter around me and deepens the kiss. I feel him moan and the warmth of his body against mine. This is what I need – his warmth. He slowly moves away and stands up, reaching out his hand to me.
“Give me tonight Jady.”
I take his hand and follow him into his bedroom. He gently pushes me down onto his bed and turns the stereo on low. It’s one of Prince’s songs. As the slow sensual beat kicks in, AJ walks back to me and lies me down, slowly undressing me.
I've been diggin' you for such a long time
You don't even know that I'm alive
Something 'bout the way you walk just really blows my mind
Sorry but I'm sick of all this jive ok?
Let me touch your body baby Let me feel you up
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
Let me touch your body baby Let me feel you up
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
Something 'bout your body baby really get me hot
I'm sweating girl and it's all because of you
I don't want your credit cards or anything you got
Feel you up is all I wanna do
What do you say?
Let me touch your body baby Let me feel you up
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
Let me touch your body baby Let me feel you up
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
I ain't looking for a 1 night stand
I only wanna feel you up
I don't really wanna be your man
I only wanna feel you up
Physical attraction babe It's what it's all about
Hot and cold reaction Feel you up Turn you out
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
What's the verdict? I don't like suspense
How can you resist my burning touch?
Something 'bout the way you walk just really blows my mind
I never wanted anything so much ok?
Let me touch your body baby Let me feel you up
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
Let me touch your body baby Let me feel you up
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
I've been diggin' on you (for such a long time)
I've been diggin' on you (I've been diggin' on you)
(I've been diggin' on you)
Let me touch your body baby Let me feel you up
Come on baby, come on Let me feel you up
I ain't looking for a 1 night stand
I only wanna feel you up
I don't really wanna be your man
I only wanna feel you up
Feel you up sugar sugar Sugar sugar
Nick squeals out of the parking lot, as I jam my keys into the door. I try to keep up with him but he’s much too far ahead and the light raindrops blur the windshield, making it twice as hard. I speed up a little, but it’s not long before he’s completely out of sight. Rain pounds hard on the windshield and I can’t see a thing. I pull over to the side of the road until the rain subsides. Minutes later, I’m back on the road still searching for the familiar green Durango. Where would he go? He’d probably go to Brian’s but wherever Brian is, Jade’s probably with him. Or he could have just gone home. Guessing on the latter I make a sharp right turn and head in the direction to his home.
Turning down his street I see his truck parked in the driveway. I park right behind it, and draw a ragged breath. What was I supposed to say to him? Apologising definitely isn’t enough that’s for sure. I get out of the truck and walk up to his front door. This is not going to be easy. I bang on the door, waiting to hear footsteps. He opens a curtain and peers out of the window. When he sees me he grimaces and shuts it. I bang some more and I can hear him yelling for me to go away. Suddenly there’s a flash of lightening and a thunderclap, and rain pours down from the sky, harder than it had before.
“Perfect,” I mutter. Then an idea comes to me. “Perfect,” I smile, rushing out into the storm.
I run to the street and grab a handful of gravel. Choosing the biggest rocks I stand in his yard, chucking the rocks at his window. He opens his window and I plop down onto the grass, soaked to the bone.
“Get out of the rain!” he yells at me, and I cross my arms over my shoulders. I shake my head and lay down. He goes over to the door and opens it for me. “Come on. Get out of the rain.”
“Thanks,” I reply, shivering. I follow him into the house and he shuts the door. “So, now that you’re talking to me, I guess I sho-” He turns and heads up the stairs. “Okay, so you aren’t talking to me.” He turns around.
“Don’t go anywhere until the rain stops. Though I’d rather never see you again, you don’t exactly deserve to die.” He continues his journey upstairs.
“Nick! Please, give me five minutes!” I yell. He sighs and stands there for a few minutes.
Before turning around to face me he says, “You know what pisses me off the most?” I glance up at him, and he clomps back down the stairs. “That night after I made love to you and you told me I was your first. You don’t know how good that made me feel. But I was being stupid, because we didn’t make love.”
“What?”
His voice becomes ten times louder and his face turns red. “WE FUCKED! That’s all it was to you! But that’s not how it was for me! I’m not like that! I’m not AJ! Or..or…JC Chasez!” I burst out crying and drop to the floor. “Oh, let me guess. Another guy you screwed? How about Joshua Jackson? Didja do him too? Huh?! Come on, Alicia. Tell me I didn’t mean anything to you, I want to hear it!”
I continue crying. “That’s not true! I love you, Nick! More than anything or anybody! I’ve never felt this way before and you have to believe me!” I sit there and sob at his feet. I look up to see his face flooded with tears.
“You lied to me once, what makes me think you won’t do it again? I can’t trust you anymore.”
I stand up immediately. “Yes you can, Nick! It won’t happen again, I swear!”
“I wish I could…but I can’t.” I wipe my eyes and hiccup, still sobbing. His eyes go to the window, then back at me. “The rain let up. I want you to leave.”
“No! Please, let me stay! I’ll make it up to you! Let’s go upstairs and-”
“Get out!” he yells pushing my hand away from him.
He storms upstairs, leaving me alone in his living room.
The sunlight streaming through the blinds wakes me up. I bury my head under the sheets with a groan. My head feels terrible. Like somebody’s whacking me over and over with a hammer. I open my eyes gingerly and catch sight of AJ sleeping next to me. I sit up with another groan as the events of last night come flooding back. Why the hell did I sleep with AJ?! And why the hell can’t I be one of those lucky drinkers who forgets everything? I’m in love with Brian, I really am. And I know it. Before I can climb out of bed AJ reaches for me sleepily. I push him away and get out of bed, getting dressed.
“What?” he asks, rubbing his eyes.
“You know what,” I mutter. “Last night should NEVER have happened.”
He sits up, now wide awake. “I didn’t exactly have to FORCE you Jade, did I?”
“But you KNEW I was angry and drunk and you used it to your advantage!”
“Oh I took advantage?!” he jumps up and glares at me. “It takes two people to do what we were doin’ last night! And you used me right back! You just wanted a little no-strings sex, well you fuckin’ GOT it!”
I glare and him and head towards the front door. “I seriously thought you were my FRIEND!”
“I am!” he follows me. “But you’ve been using me Jade. I’m always here when you want me to be, but what about ME?! What about what I want?! I’m not some bit-part actor in your life-story Jade!”
I face him. “Ok, fine! What DO you want?!”
“You, I want you Jade.”
“You can’t have me AJ.”
“I know that much,” he watches me as I open the door. “But if I can’t have all of you, I don’t want ANYTHING of you.”
“What?” I stare at him. “So we stop bein’ friends? Is that what you want?”
“We were never friends Jade,” he says, shutting the door on me.
I stare at the closed door in shock and anger. AJ doesn’t want anything to do with me. I seriously had thought that he’d get over his little thing for me and we could go on being friends. Ok, I’m naïve, and life’s not like that. But why can’t it be?