Testimony from concerned shoppers has prompted the FDA to issue a warning to households across the nation. The FDA advises against keeping ice cream in the freezer for over 16 years.
"I just don't know what happened," explains Ruth Dinglebury, a longtime resident of Illinois. "It just jumped out of the can, leapt onto the floor, and before I knew it, I got a face-full of lard! I've never seen anything like it!"
The FDA has classified all such organisms as a level-4 biohazard.
Further details are promised about the dangers of extended cryogenic storage.