YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF... PART 2
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF............. You carry more than two extra tires in the back of your truck...
You've taken a pregnancy test and a sobriety test on the same day...
You were married in a Laundromat...
You think a "sex change" means trying the backseat...
A screwdriver is required to open the trunk of your car...
Your bucket seats are real buckets...
You eat cotton candy more than three times a week...
The only thing you inherited from your father was alcoholism...
You've ever heated a cup of coffee with a welding torch...
Both you and your wife wore ponytails on your wedding day...
There is a four-wheeler parked in your bedroom...
Your wedding reception was a tailgate party...
You think "home security" means taking the front steps to your trailer with you when you leave the house...
Your bar tab has page numbers...
You've ever been injured playing Ping-Pong...
You constantly call the feed and seed store to see if the cat has had her kittns yet...
Your father-in-law said you had no class so you spit at him...
You vacuum the sheets instead of washing them...
Your car won't start because of the wax build-up on the key...
You get new yard furniture every time the creek floods...
The only signal you use while driving is " the finger"...
People often mistake you for an Elvis impersonator....
You could retire by recycling all the cans in the bed of your truck...
You've lived the last ten years with shot gun pellets embedded in your rear end...
The only "push-up" you know about is sold in the ice cream section...
You go to the Laundromat to pick up women...
The grocery store manager has to ask your husband to quit harassing the lobsters...
You have to roll up your sleeve and look at your arm to spell your wife's name...
You invite all your relatives over to see you new ceiling fan...
The diving contest at the family reunion was ruined because your pool went flat...
Your hood ornament is a duck decoy...
Your old washing machine is your new doghouse...
You think the four seasons are onion, pepper, salt, and garlic...
You win the pickle egg-eating contest and nobody in your family will ride home with you...
You and six of your neighbors split a cable bill...
You have a relative living in your garage...
Every time you attempt to put your boat on your trailer, a crowd gathers to watch...
You've ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies...
You have ever emptied the bed of your truck by driving backwards real fast and slamming on the brakes...
You've been to the emergency room more than three times to have a fish hook removed...
Your favorite actor is E.T....
The velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway...
