"Passions" Classic Lines Note: Not all lines are 100% correct. Kay tells Jessica to shut up. Kay: Jessica, why don't you put a sock in it? Or better yet, make it one of Reese's! Kay tells Jessica to be quiet. Kay: Jessica, why don't you put a sock in it? Or better yet, make it one of Reese's! Ivy and Rebecca panic when they discover that Julian is alive. Ivy: Don't panic? You're telling me don't panic? Julian is alive, and Theresa is going to be staying alive come keeping the title of Mrs. Crane and you want me to not panic?? What do you want me to do, sing?! Rebecca: Well for starters you can keep your mouth shut! Ivy: Gasp! Don't talk to me like that! Kay tells Simone that she is going to learn the tango from Sheridan and Luis so that she can get Miguel. Ivy: I'll put on my tango shoes, and once I get Miguel's hot latin blood to boiling, he'll forget all about Charity! Simone: This has got to be your most ridiculous plan yet! I can actually hear the theme song to "I Love Lucy!" Rebecca and Julian fret over his problems performing in their sex games. Rebecca: (Feeds Julian another oyster)...Well? Nothing? Julian: (Looks down at his trousers) Alas! Little Julian is still...little! At the Bennett Thanksgiving dinner, everyone shares something in their lives that they are thankful for. Kay reluctantly participates. Sam: What about you Kay? What are you thankful for? Kay: (Pause) Well, I guess I'm grateful for my ever-expanding family! (Sarcastic Smile) Rebecca tells Gwen how Theresa ate the divorce papers. Rebecca expresses her anger. Rebecca: She is a devious one! Gwen you have to stop her, or else she will steal Ethan away from you! I mean, who knows what she'll put in her mouth next! Rebecca tells Theresa that she should eat her words over the divorce papers, so Theresa crunches them up, chews them, and swallows them! She then gives a double-slap to Rebecca and Ivy, and then to Julian. Ivy blames Rebecca. Theresa: (Slaps the three of them). You three are pigs. (Theresa leaves) Ivy: Oh! This is all your fault Rebecca! Rebecca: What? Julian: She's right! You told her to eat her words... Rebecca: But... Ivy: Y-you idiot! (smacks Rebecca) Rebecca: Ow! I didn't know the little slut would actually do it! Ivy: (Ivy gives a gasp of exasperation) Julian flirts with Ivy when she wheels in with her wheelchair to join him in a celebration of Theresa's demise. Julian: I am so happy, that I can even tolerate spending the evening with you! Ivy: Well, given the fact that we are celebrating Theresa's demise, I can honestly say that this is the happiest I have ever been in your bedroom. Julian: Hmm. That caustic bitchiness stilil turns me on, you know? In fact, I'm beginning to find this wheelchair sexy! (Attempts to kiss Ivy) Ivy: (Wheels backward, laughing hysterically) Oh Julian! Don't get carried away. I'll never be that happy, or stupid again! Julian: Well you can't blame a fellow for trying. Pilar is delighted to hear that Theresa did not terminate her baby. Theresa: I couldn't go through with it Mamá! Pilar: ¡Gracias a dios! You mean I am still a grandmother? Rebecca: Theresa's just like that pink bunny! She keeps lying, and lying, and lying... Julian tries to keep Whitney calm in the elevator. Julian: Don't worry! Crane's don't die in freak accidents such as these. Whitney: Cranes don't die in freak accidents? What are you talking about? You were shot and you fell into a vat of boiling tuna! Julian: I'm still here, aren't I? Rebecca tries to convince Gwen not to move to New York. Rebecca: Don't be glib! Gwen: Don't be ridiculous mother, you love New York! You go there every chance you get. They know your name in all the stores on 5th avenue! You adore the theatre, the museums... Rebecca: You know it's not the same as living there! Okay, if you're going to move to a big city, how about Chicago? Oh that is a great town–the city of the big shoulders. And all of the big shouldered men who live there! Ah...I've had such fabulous times in Chi-town! Oh, and there's a cold breeze coming off Lake Michigan, and you have to snuggle up to some warm hard muscular arms...ooh! And the sweaty locker room of the Chicago Bulls... Gwen: Mother stop it! Rebecca: Oh, oh, oh, where was I...ah yes! You can't move to New York! Rebecca reprimands Gwen for letting Ethan take Theresa to her prom. Gwen: Mother, Theresa has done an incredible job of helping us with the wedding! She didn't have a date for the prom, so I asked Ethan to take her. Rebecca: And Ethan didn't have any qualms about this? Gwen: Well he didn't really want to go, but I talked him into it. Rebecca: This may be the stupidest mistake a woman has ever made since Eve gave up the garden for an apple! Rebecca pretends to have a heart-attack to interrupt Ethan's proposal to Theresa. Rebecca: Oh Gwen, go get Ethan and tell him that your mother has had a heart attack. Oh, and also tell him that it's congenital. It has nothing to do with weight or age.     Next >>