CANDIDATES, CAMPAIGN MANAGERS
The decisive campaign strategy
Acquire political gropees today!

Global Services provides custom gropees
for that special ace in the hole for your campaign.

Not to be confused with "groupies", gropees participate
in real groping sessions by the candidate in person.
Nothing nasty will be allowed. Clothing is required.

Thus, gropees will be telling the truth when they surface with
stories of groping by the candidate.
Times coordinated with your campaign staff for media impact.

EVERY VOTE COUNTS
Order your gropee ensemble today!

Our Solemn Oath: Only one candidate per race
can acquire exclusive Global Services gropees.

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Basic Gropee Packages:
Six ($9,000), Twelve ($16,000) and Eighteen ($22,000) Gropees

Sworn Affadavits Describing Candidate Groping: 10% extra
Visual Evidence: Photographs (10% extra) and Video (15% extra) Cheerleaders (18 and older): 25% extra
Groping on Movie Location: 25% extra
Coordination With Campaign Stops: 15% extra
Public Appearances by Gropees: negotiated rates
All extras from Basic Gropee Package rate.

ORDER NOW
Do not let opponents beat you in the groping game.

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Ten percent of gross receipts to be donated to charities supported
by California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Copyright © 2003 Global Services
Original Publication: Nov 7, 2003

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