Saturday Night Unleashed Live from The Ric Richards Memorial Colleseum in Grand Rapids - 04.19.2003

(The ASC’s second show since it’s return at the independent level took place before a crowd of roughly 500 fans in The Ric Richards Memorial Coliseum on April 19, 2003. What follows is Dirt Dawg’s official match by match recap of the event released to internet news boards.)

[Non-Title Match]

THE ASC JUGGERNAUT VS. THE ALL-AMERICAN JOE

DIRT DAWG’S MATCH REVIEW - In what caught many of the fans unaware, the opening match of the night featured The ASC Juggernaut in a non-title encounter against The All-American Joe. The newly crowned champion was apparently not a welcome sight to the crowd, who bravely jeered his every step. His opponent however, was another story entirely. For the second week in a row, The All-American Joe received one of the hottest crowd reactions of the night. Despite the huge size difference between the two men, Joe was not afraid to take the fight right to the champ. In the opening minutes it was almost as if The Juggernaut was daring Joe to hit him with whatever he had, which the young fan favorite was happy to provide. Still, despite his efforts, it seemed as if there was little Joe could do to put the match in his favor. The Juggernaut absorbed everything that he allowed Joe to throw at him, from roundhouse punches to dropkicks. With Joe’s frustration growing, The Juggernaut easily caught him off guard and drove him into the corner with ease. From there The Juggernaut began to have fun. He whipped Joe from one post to another with the force of a hurricane. He showed no mercy on the power slams, power bombs, press slams that he used against Joe, and it quickly became clear that the champion had everything going his way. Just as The Juggernaut had planted Joe with a sick choke slam, a surprise return by Viper completely interrupted the contest. Viper made his way into the ring, hearing just as many boos as The Juggernaut had during his own entrance. With a chain in hand, Viper blindsided the champ and instantly brought about the disqualification. Viper wasted no time in bragging to the crowd how he had downed the champ, never realizing that The Juggernaut was already getting back to his feet. By the time Viper turned around, the champ had recovered completely and hit his double choke bomb finisher on Viper to put an end to the surprise attack. After collecting his championship belt and spitting in disgust at Viper, The Juggernaut headed towards the backstage area.

THE ASC JUGGERNAUT DEFEATED THE ALL-AMERICAN JOE AFTER A DISQUALIFICATION AFTER OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE AT 5:50

(The fans rate this match at 3 ¾ stars)

(Following the opening match, the fans were treated to a special clip on the scaled-down video screen that rests beside the entrance curtains. Needless to say, the crowd was buzzing after learning that these two men may soon be back in The ASC.)

(The scene opens and we seem to be aboard some huge cruise liner. The camera pans around the big boat and there are a bunch of hot babes wearing skimpy bathing suits laying on lounge chairs getting tans. That is when two familiar faces come into view. It is none other then sQuiReL and MisFit. Well these two are leaning against the railing. Let's see what the unlikely duo is up to.)

sQuiReL- Just watch and learn!

MisFit- Okay!

(sQuiReL then makes his way up to some gorgeous babes.)

sQuiReL- Hey ladies what's up!

Hot Babe #1- Oh my god!

Hot Babe #2- It’s sQuiReL!

sQuiReL- Yeah that would be me!

Hot Babe #2- Can we ask you a question?

sQuiReL- Yeah go ahead!

Hot Babe #1- Can we play with your nuts?

(Shocked by the turn of events, sQuiReL stands up and walks back over to MisFit.)

sQuiReL- Did you just see that?

MisFit- Yeah, they want to play with your nuts, but I thought that you weren’t a squirrel. Were you lying?

sQuiReL- No dummy! They want to see my package!

MisFit- Oh I got it. Hey sQuiReL, when are we going to go back to the ASC?

sQuiReL- I think that we might make an appearance next week. It depends on what time our vacation gets done.

MisFit- I can't wait! You can get your Hardcore title back and I will get the Heavyweight title. Oh man I cannot wait.

sQuiReL- Okay…well those girls over there want to play with my nuts so…I’ll see you later MisFit.

MisFit- Okay Chippy!

(sQuiReL then gives MisFit a dirty look.)

MisFit- Oops I forgot you don't like being called Chippy. Well have fun!

(sQuiReL walks over and the two women escort him away. MisFit is left by himself. He then walks over towards the middle of the ship and shouts.)

MisFit- DOES ANYONE WANT TO PLAY WITH MY NUTS?

(The people on the ship quickly turn and stare at MisFit. They all begin to laugh at him as the scene comes to an end.)

[Single Match]

DARKWING STRANGE DUCK VS. DARK CLOAK

DIRT DAWG’S MATCH REVIEW - Dark Cloak returned to ASC action for the first time in years against a man who has a cape of his own, Darkwing Strange Duck. Duck’s comical approach to in-ring action didn’t amuse Dark Cloak in the least as the former light heavyweight and gothic champion was eager to begin the fight. Strange Duck quickly learned the error of his ways as his quicker and more vicious opponent took control early on and refused to relinquish it. Darkwing looked like a duck out of water as Dark Cloak reminded those in attendance how he became the first ever ASC Light Heavyweight Champion before finishing things with an Impaler DDT.

DARK CLOAK DEFEATED DARKWING STRANGE DUCK AFTER AN IMPALER DDT AT 3:07

(The fans rate this match at 2 ¼ stars)

(As the crowd readied themselves for the next in-ring contest, a second video clip was shown. Unlike its predecessor however, this clip was shown live from the backstage area.)

Sandy Katt: Hello, I'm Sandy Katt, and I'm here with someone who claims to be a member of the ASC's talent roster. Will you give us your name again, sir?

(The camera pans out, revealing the towering frame of the man known (unfortunately) as The Unknown, Ian Powers. His hair slicked back, a pair of dark wrap around sunglasses over his eyes, wearing an expensive looking leather car coat with a white shirt on under it. Tucked under his left arm is a book, with its cover facing against his body. He looks down at Sandy Katt for a moment, trying to decide if what she meant what she just said. Unable to decide, he questions her on it.)

Ian Powers: ...What do you mean "claims to be" on the roster?

Sandy Katt: I've never heard of you before.

(Pause. Ian looks a tad nonplussed.)

Ian Powers: ...I'm The Unknown.

(Clueless look from Katt.)

Ian Powers: The fourtimefourtimefourtimefourtime United States Champion?

Sandy Katt: ...

Ian Powers: Co-Iron man Champion, with Ashe Darrian?

Sandy Katt: I know who Ashe Darrian is... on you I'm still drawing a blank...

Ian Powers: I was the frickin Commissioner of Darkside Wrestling! Admittedly it was only for a weekend... But, still!

Sandy Katt: Can we get on with this? I have places to be...

Ian Powers: ...Right. Well, the ASC's back.. again. Hey, great! I'm more than willing to come on out and, y'know, lend a hand. Pull my weight. To come back and help out the company that helped me out so much back in the day. Hey, I couldn't be the independently wealthy motherfuh--er, uh guy that I am today without the paychecks Gwampa Smythe, then Fenris, then Slade, then Messiah, then Slade again, then Jade, then Slade again have given me. Invest wisely, that's the best advice I can give. ...Am I kind of rambling?

Sandy Katt: A bit.

Ian Powers: Right. Haven't done this in awhile. Anyway, I'm mainly here to sell my book. See?

(He turns the book toward the camera, and we can finally see it's cover. Across the top is written "Fatal Error: From Assassins to Widows." Below that is a picture of Ian himself, in the ASC ring, with the United States and World Titles held high over his head.)

Sandy Katt: What are you, Mick Foley?

Ian Powers: No, no. I keep telling you. Ian Powers. The Unknown! I've been through four frickin runs in this federation, damnit. Ian Powers!

Sandy Katt: Right. Well, I'm afraid we're out of time, Mr. whoever.

Ian Powers: Unknown!

Sandy Katt: This is Sandy Katt, wishing I hadn't left my dressing room tonight.

Ian Powers: Buy my book, kids!

(As an uninterested Sandy Katt walks off camera, another familiar face enters. It is none other than the owner of The ASC, Commissioner Slade. Slade nearly walks right into the book that The Unknown is still holding up for the camera. As longtime rivals for The US Championship, the two men exchange an uneasy glance before the unexpected happens.)

Slade: Ian Powers….HOW THE HELL ARE YA?!

Ian Powers: Uh….good?

Slade: That’s great man! Damn, it’s good to see you!

Ian Powers: Um…ok…

Slade: You don’t know how thrilled I was to hear you wanted in on The ASC again! I was so excited that I booked you in a match immediately! I can’t wait to see you in the ring with The Doppleganger tonight!

Ian Powers: …riiiight….

Slade: Now if you don’t mind, it’s time for my anti-depressants and muscle relaxers. Take it easy big guy!

(And with that last comment, Slade wanders on down the corridor, looking around as if he’s never been in the building before. A bewildered Ian Powers is left in front of the camera, having forgotten about his book with Slade’ uncharacteristic behavior.)

Ian Powers: Who was that medicated man?

[Triple Threat Match]

MICHAEL O’BRIEN VS. LT. LEAUSTUEL VS. PVT. PANE

DIRT DAWG’S MATCH REVIEW - Michael O’Brien resumed his quest to humiliate the members of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell in this triple threat match where even the soldiers of sodomy would have to face each other. Much like last week however, things just didn’t work out as O’Brien had hoped. Leaustuel and Pane seemed to ignore the fact that they were supposed to fight each other, instead ignoring O’Brien completely to give each other a proper “salute” and pre-match hug in the middle of the ring. Disgusted by their display, O’Brien charged in recklessly and paid the price for it. Pane and Leaustuel seemed to sense a third man penetrating their personal space and reacted with a quick display of double-team maneuvers. O’Brien was desperate to get off one of his mastered submission holds, but neither of his opponents would allow it. Finally Mike was put out of his misery when Pane and Leaustuel hit the Divide and Conquer, and the Lt made the pin.

LT. LEAUSTUEL DEFEATED MICHAEL O’BRIEN AND PVT. PANE WHEN HE PINNED O’BRIEN AFTER THE DIVIDE AND CONQUER AT 6:02

(The fans rate this match at 1 ½ stars)

(Once again The ASC cameras took us backstage, this time to document an encounter between The All-American Joe and The Doppleganger. Joe sat on an equipment crate backstage, still cooling off from his failed match with The Juggernaut from earlier in the evening. Clearly disappointed by his loss, Joe was in no mood for what was about to occur. Stepping into view from around a corner was a man ridiculously dressed in a fat suit, red, white, and blue tights, and a matching mask. While it was clear that the man was not the real deal, it was also clear who he was trying to imitate. Shocked by the sight of someone made up to look like his idol, Glory, Joe took immediate offense.)

Joe: What the….what are you trying to do?!

The Doppleganger: Whoa, whoa, whoa…take it easy there my little American. Mr. Americana is just here to check things out! I’ve heard they’re some subversive commie bastards hiding around here somewhere….

Joe: ….what?! How dare you…

The Doppleganger: Mr. Americana dares to fight for truth, justice, and The American way! That and I could really go for a big fat slice of pumpkin pie…with extra whipped topping…and maybe some hoes….

Joe: You disgusting….do you even realize who you’re mocking here?!

The Doppleganger: Mocking? I’m glad you brought that up, my little American! Have you happened to see the award-winning mocumentary called “The Fall of Glory”? It’s an amazing piece of film, or I‘m not an overweight has-been! It’s by this fabulous director named…

Joe: Doppleganger! If you don’t take off that ridiculous outfit right now I’m gonna….

(The Doppleganger quickly backs off, pulling the mask from his face as back-peddles. Pulling a video cassette from inside his fat suit, he tosses it to the angered All-American Joe.)

Doppleganger: Hey now Joe…settle down. I don’t mean any harm. Here….check out my tape. I think you’ll find that I’ve shown Glory in a new light. Now…uh…if you don’t mind…I’ve got a match next and I don’t plan on blowing it like you did earlier.

(Joe doesn’t have a chance to respond as The Doppleganger begins to shed his fat suit and dash away. Once he’s gone, Joe cannot resist the urge to put the tape into a nearby VCR for a quick viewing. What he sees is real footage of Glory, but instead of Mr. Americana at his best, he sees him at his worst. Image after image of Glory being hurled from a balcony by The Deadman is shown…from one angle…and then another…and then another….the footage has been doctored to make it look as though Glory fell over 100 feet in slow motion. Finally the last shot comes, but instead of a bloody Glory laying upon the floor, it is the image of red, white, and blue pancake. Furious at the disrespect shown towards his idol, Joe slams his fist into the off button and storms away.)

[Single Match]

THE UNKNOWN VS. THE DOPPLEGANGER

DIRT DAWG’S MATCH REVIEW - The Unknown’s return to ASC action was well-received by the fans in attendance, even when he blatantly held up his book for all to see. The Doppleganger however, couldn’t have gotten a colder response from the crowd following his disrespectful film about longtime ASC hero, Glory. The match itself was an entertaining encounter as both men successfully displayed their skills. Even with The Unknown’s greater popularity and ring experience, he found it hard to get a grip on The Doppleganger’s fluctuating wrestling styles. From martial arts to grappling, The Doppleganger’s goal was to keep The Unknown unbalanced, but in the end it only took one Fatal Error to put an end to his attempts.

THE UNKNOWN DEFEATED THE DOPPLEGANGER AFTER THE FATAL ERROR AT 6:34

(The fans rate this match at 3 ¼ stars)

(The next scene opened in the backstage area of Unleashed once again. We saw Sandy Katt, The ASC's own backstage reporter, come into view. She was standing in front of a door with a piece of duct tape across the center. Written on the tape was the word “Champ“. Sandy knocked on the door and waited a few seconds. Finally the door swung open and a man appeared from behind. The man wore a pair of black and gold shorts with Iowa Wrestling written on them. His black and gold t-shirt said Hawkeyes. The man was also wearing wrestling headgear wrapped in tape with the word Brute on the side of it. Of course by then the fans figured out that the man was none other then Tim Alexander and began booing. As he looked directly into the camera you could see that Tim's eyes were watery and he had a tissue in his hand.)

Sandy Katt- "Hey, Tim! Are you okay?"

Tim Alexander- "Hi! I’m Tim Alexander"

Sandy Katt- "Unlike the last guy, I know who you are."

Tim Alexander- "But you can call me Brute!"

Sandy Katt- "We know, we know."

Tim Alexander- "Like the Headgear!"

(Tim turns his head towards the camera and points his headgear.)

Sandy Katt- "Okay now that that’s over with, are you okay?"

Tim Alexander- "Of Course I am okay! I am a four time national champion. Why wouldn't I be?"

Sandy Katt- "Well it looks to me like you were crying!"

Tim Alexander- "Crying? Me? Haha! Never!"

Sandy Katt- "Well then why are you eyes watery?"

Tim Alexander- "Oh well I was just watching some of my old college tapes and…uh…something flew into my eye."

Sandy Katt- "Yeah, I bet!"

Tim Alexander- "No I am serious! It was just a coincidence that when I was at the spot when I won my third straight NCAA Division I national championship and out of nowhere something landed in my eye."

Sandy Katt- "Fine! Fine! I just have a couple of quick questions for you!"

Tim Alexander- "Okay just hurry up I am in the middle of watching my tapes."

Sandy Katt- "So Tim, why are you back here in the ASC? I mean a person with your amateur background must have had other offers."

Tim Alexander- "Believe me when I tell you that there were hundreds of offers, but the thing that brought me back to the ASC was that right when my career was about to sky rocket it shut down. Now I easily could have said screw the ASC and moved on, but I never really got a shot in the ASC. Week after week I would face jobbers and show them what a true wrestler could do. Right when I was about to hit it big the ASC closed. And I have come back to carry the ASC on my shoulders and become the best to ever wrestle in the ASC."

Sandy Katt- "You are so…Uh…Never mind! My next question is what have you been doing while waiting for the reopening?"

Tim Alexander- "Well I have been entering a few wrestling tournaments and well basically destroying everyone that I have faced. And um…what else did I do? Oh yeah I drilled my moves day in and day out perfecting my moves that were already perfected."

Sandy Katt- "Huh? Oh forget it? Okay since this interview is not going anywhere I have a final question? How do you feel about your match tonight against Benny Santini?"

Tim Alexander- "Oh silly girl! I don't have a match tonight!"

Sandy Katt- "Uh…Yeah Tim…You do!"

Tim Alexander- "No, I don't think so!”

Sandy Katt- "Look!"

(Sandy Katt then pulls out a list of tonight's matches.)

Sandy Katt- "See I told you!"

(As Tim looks over the card for tonight he looks up and notices someone down the hall.)

Tim Alexander- "Holy Cow!"

(All of a sudden Tim turned to his door and opened it. The door slammed loud as the duct tape began to peel off. Sandy Katt then ripped off the rest of it revealing the words “Janitor‘s Closet“ underneath. Seconds later the door reopened and Tim began running down the hall with a couple of tapes in his arms almost knocking Sandy down. The camera quickly followed Tim. Down the hall we saw Commissioner Slade drinking a cup of coffee. Slade noticed Tim running towards him with the tapes in his arms. The camera managed to pick up a "aw shit" as Slade dropped the cup of coffee on the ground and began running away from Tim Alexander.)

[Tag Team Match]

LA GRAN SANTIAGO AND THE TERRIBLE MONTEZUMA VS. THE BIG BIRDS

DIRT DAWG’S MATCH REVIEW - After a long time away from The ASC, Vanguard and Bird O’Prey have resurfaced as a tag team. Their first obstacle came in the form of La Gran Santiago and The Terrible Montezuma, the unusual duo from south of the border. The teamwork of the luchadors proved less than successful however, as Montezuma wasn’t even able to get into the ring. Shortly after making their entrance, Montezuma started the opening moves of a Green Apple Quickstep and vanished behind the curtains from where he had came. This left La Gran Santiago against two men that outweighed him by roughly 200 pounds each. What followed was the ritualistic beating of the drunken luchador that mercifully ended with a Vanguard jackhammer.

THE BIG BIRDS DEFEATED LA GRAN SANTIAGO AND THE TERRIBLE MONTEZUMA WHEN VANGUARD PINNED SANTIAGO AFTER A JACKHAMMER AT 5:00

(The fans rate this match at 2 stars)

(You guessed it. Another backstage clip. This clip started with “The Hardcore Ladykiller” Lucian Thunder cruising the backstage area in search of some groupies. What he found however, was something far from a sexy chick. Hiding away in a darkened corner of the backstage area, Lucian is shocked to find the crouched figure of Big Dead. While Dead is usually in the company of Lizzy Bean, he is now mysteriously alone. His sulking presence nearly startles Lucian out of his custom-made Oakley sunglasses and it takes him a few moments before he can speak.)

Lucian: HOLY SHIT! Uh…whoa…hey there Big D! How’s it hangin’ brother?

Big Dead: Urrrr….sshhhud suuumthin…beee hanginnn?

Lucian: If you’ve gotta ask, I don’t know wanna know. So…uh…why the long face? Cemetery full?

Big Dead: Lizzzzzzy…hooome sick…Biiig Ded lone…lone…looonely….

Lucian: Ah ha! In need of a little female companionship huh? Well Big Deady Cool…you came to the right man! You’re sure not gonna bag and broads by hiding in the shadows! Let’s see if The Hardcore Ladykiller can get your mojo movin. Let’s see…where to start….what’s your best pick-up line?

(Big Dead stands up from the shadows and thinks for a moment, before finally a bright look appears on his dead face and he replies with…)

Big Dead: MMMMM…BOOOOBBBIESSSSS!!!!

Lucian: Uh…right…not really what I had in mind but I guess it’s a start. Now…uh…show me your best strut!

(Once again, Big Dead thinks for a moment before finally making his move. With the grace of a sick and wounded cow, he begins to walk/limp across the backstage area, dragging his left leg behind and letting his head droop on his weak neck.)

Lucian: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let’s…uh….hope we run into some chicks while we’re sitting down. Moving on to lesson number three…what exactly are you looking for in a babe?

Big Dead: Hhrrrrr……urrrmmmmm…..Biiig Ded looooking for….a puuulse…

Lucian: A pulse. Right. I think those reasonable standards just made your chances improve tenfold. Come on…we’ve got a lot of work to do….

[Single Match]

TIM ALEXANDER VS. BENNY SANTINI

(Over the loud speaker Blink 182's "Damn It" began to play. Out from behind the curtain stepped Tim Alexander. He wore his typical back Iowa Hawkeyes sweatshirt with the hood concealing his head. He had his black and gold wrestling shoes on with his black bubble kneepads. He began walking down towards the ring and stopped about halfway. Tim threw his hood off of his head and on it was his legendary headgear. He raised his hands in the air expecting some kind of pyro to go off, but there was none. The Brute shrugged his shoulders and made his way to the ring. He slid under the bottom rope and caught the mic thrown in his direction.)

Tim Alexander- "Hi! I am Tim Alexander! But you can call me Brute!

(The crowd then chanted along with the next saying that has made him famous.)

Tim Alexander- "Like the headgear!"

(Tim then turned his head and points to his headgear.)

Tim Alexander- "Well now that I have introduced myself, I have a few comments to make before I give Benny boy a little lesson in wrestling. First of all I just want to let all of the so-called wrestlers in the back know that I am the BEST WRESTLER in the ASC. Hands Down! So I just wanted to let every one in the locker room know that I will eventually face you. And even the craziest of matches wind down to being nothing more then a wrestling match. And since I am the best wrestler I WILL WIN! Now I just found out earlier that I have a match against Benny Santini. Well Benny, I guess that since you are new here you do not know exactly what happens when you wrestle me. Well what is going to happen is that you are going to come in here and get out wrestled and outclassed. I was just looking at your bio a little bit ago. So I will spare you the embarrassment of getting humiliated in front of these fans. Yeah just bring me down a pepperoni and sausage pizza and I will let you walk out of here with your manhood. Oh and one last thing before I leave. Hey Commissioner Slade. Once I get done beating this guy I will be honored to let you watch the tapes of me when I wrestled in college. I think you had something important to do earlier."

(Tim then dropped the mic and took off his sweatshirt, waiting for his opponent.)

DIRT DAWG’S MATCH REVIEW - In what may have been the fastest paced match of the night, newcomer Benny Santini faced off with the arrogant Tim Alexander. Despite Tim’s offer to cancel the contest in exchange for a free pizza, Benny left his apron backstage and shot into Alexander with great enthusiasm. Hoping to turn some heads during his debut match, Santini unleashed some of the quicker moves from his arsenal, tossing the unsuspecting Alexander around the ring with arm drags, flying head scissors, and dropkicks. Tim grew frustrated with his inability to capture Santini, but once he managed to accomplish that feet, he grounded the Sicilian pizza boy with a display of amateur holds and stretches. Despite Santini’s enthusiasm and determination, he too fell victim to Alexander’s impressive submission style.

TIM ALEXANDER DEFEATED BENNY SANTINI AFTER MAKING HIM SUBMIT TO THE CROSS FACE AT 7:28

(The fans rate this match at 3 ¾ stars)

(Following the light heavyweight encounter between Tim and Benny, the cameras once again caught something of interest in the backstage area. Sandy Katt, obviously working overtime in this new ASC, managed to catch up with The ASC Heavyweight Champion, The ASC Juggernaut. Not thrilled with his disqualification victory or the interference of Viper, Cole Stephens had plenty to say to the suddenly timid Sandy Katt.)

Sandy Katt: Sandy Katt here, with The ASC Heavyweight Champion, The ASC Juggernaut. Cole, could we get a few words from you about your match earlier tonight?

Juggernaut: Sandy, anyone who knows me, knows that I’m a man of few words. I’m also a man of even less patience. Tonight that patience was severely tested by some punk-ass never was that thinks he and I have some kind of history. First of all, if I had a history with Viper worth mentioning, he’d already be history. As it is, I carried his lame ass in the early days of The Collection Agency, and when he started shooting off his mouth during the last run, I punked him out and took away the only achievement he’d ever had. Now he wants to come back here…when I’m on top…and try the same thing. Never gonna happen. Viper, I’m calling you out right here and now. I’m sure you’ve already tucked tail and left the building, but next week it’s gonna be you and me in the ring, one-on-one. I’ll even put the title on the line to get your ass in the ring.

Sandy Katt: And Cole, any comments about the main event number one contender’s match tonight? Rumor has it that the winner of this match will be the man to face you at our first televised special next month.

Juggernaut: Main event? Those are two words that should never be used in the same sentence as John Cooper and Horace the Freak. What are these guys, wrestling’s version of Riggs and Murtaw? One of them is out of his mind and the other one is too damn old for this shit. I couldn’t give a damn if I face Horace the Freak, John Cooper, or Joe Pesci at Supremacy next month. I’m gonna steamroll in and steamroll my way right back out. These guys may be legends in the minds and hearts of the fans, but as far as I’m concerned the only real legend is a dead one. Maybe they’re a lot closer anyone realizes. Now why don’t you scamper your loose little ass outta my way before I show you how pathetic of a man Judo Jonnie really is.

(Startled by The Juggernaut’s sudden aggressive tone, not to mention the insult to her and her boyfriend’s manhood, Sandy quickly backed out of Cole’s way as he stepped out of the camera’s view.)

[Tag Team Match]

DUSTER & JUDO JONNIE VS. BAD MOJO & LOOKAWAY

DIRT DAWG’S MATCH REVIEW - This match was out of control before it even began. The referee was incapable of showing authority before the bell had even rang as all four men immediately attacked each other. It looked as though a real match wouldn’t even transpire, a fact was further illustrated by the arrival of Duster’s brother, Dark Cloak, who joined with his Trinity teammates in their attack on the original Nudy Bar Bouncers. It looked as though the odds were going to even out as Lucian Thunder and Big Dead took a break from the great chick-hunt to fight alongside Duster and Judo. With Big Dead and Duster’s pasts with The Voodoo Trinity, along with Lucian’s tainted loss to Lookaway last week, the brawling was too much for the official to handle and the match was ruled a no-contest. Jonnie was taken out early by a face full of blood-mist from Bad Mojo before he was forced to defend himself against his former charge, Big Dead. Lucian and Lookaway resumed their hardcore brawl from the previous show, while the long-time sibling rivalry between Duster and Dark Cloak heated up all over again. Just when it looked as though things couldn’t get any worse, two more men made a surprise appearance. Despite the video showing them on a cruise earlier in the evening, sQuiReL and MisFit exploded through the curtains to a huge ovation from the crowd before joining in on the riot within the ring. As The LOB and Lucian were quickly overwhelmed by the surprise attack of MisFit and sQuiReL, The Voodoo Trinity used the opportunity to escape from the ring and regroup near the entrance. With chairs flying and blood oozing, security was finally brought forth to bring an end to the carnage.

BAD MOJO & LOOKAWAY AND DUSTER & JUDO JONNIE FOUGHT TO A NO-CONTEST

(The fans rate this non-match brawl at 3 stars)

(It took some time for security to clear the ring, but once it was accomplished the live crowd was ready to welcome an ASC icon back to the ring. As “Points of Authority” began to play, the fans jumped to their feet in appreciation. Sure enough, the five time ASC Heavyweight Champion, Bodycount, had arrived on the scene. No longer under his Cross persona, and without Jade at his side, the crowd seemed to welcome the return of the “old” Bodycount. Whether or not he appreciated their welcome would remain unknown however. Just as Bodycount was given a mic and was preparing to talk, “Guerilla Radio” began to play and Commissioner Slade made his own appearance. While his reception was far less positive than Bodycount’s, Slade still waved to the crowd as if they were all there to honor him. Slade eventually got into the ring, and after giving Bodycount an unexpected and unreturned hug, he produced his own microphone.)

Slade: Damn! The man is finally here! You know Bill, I’ve been looking forward to this moment all week! At first when you said you’d be here, with or without pay let me remind you, I was a little unsure of what to expect. I mean, I’m sure you’ve got a lot on your mind, what with it being my sister’s birthday today and with the divorce still not final, but before you get those things off your chest I’ve just got to say a few things for myself.

(Bodycount began to tap on his mic, and sure enough, it wasn’t working. Much to the crowd’s dismay, he let Slade continue with what was on his mind.)

Slade: First of all Bill…I just want you to know that all that unpleasantness from before is in the past. I think we all realize how much Jade was manipulating the whole scheme, and personally I think it’s best if we could all just try to forget about it. As for that Mr. X thing and that Cross retaliation…well…I’m sorry. I mean that from the bottom of my heart man. I’m just so glad to have you back here…even if I’m not contractually obliged to pay you…and I really appreciate this show of support. To show my gratitude, I’ve got a couple of surprises for you.

(Bodycount immediately looked untrusting as Slade mentioned surprises, but allowed the commish to continue nonetheless.)

Slade: The first surprise is that I’ve personally booked your first match back with The ASC! Right here in the Ric Richards Memorial Coliseum, next week on Unleashed, you my friend will have an opportunity for payback that’s been building for years now! You see, despite the fact that you’ve suffered few losses in your ASC career, I know that some of those losses still burn a fire in your ass. One of those losses in particular came at the hands of a man that isn’t worth half of you! It was a stupid feud over a worthless woman, and next week you’ll finally have the chance to redeem yourself as you go one on one with Judo Jonnie!

(Bodycount’s eyes opened in surprise and a small smile crossed his lips, obviously thinking that the first surprise hadn’t turned out all that bad.)

Slade: Now as for surprise number two…for those of you who don’t realize how great this man is…let me enlighten you. There are few men who have won as many championships as Bodycount. Toughman Title….United States Title…Triple Crown Title….Hardcore Title….Heavyweight Title….all of those have been his at one time or another. In fact, after thinking about that list there’s only one title that has kept Bodycount from becoming The ASC’s first “grand-slam champion”…and that belt…er…those belts are The ASC Heavyweight Tag Team Titles! Never before has any one man been able to capture all of those titles during their career…most men can’t even claim to coming as close as Bodycount! And now that you’re back Bill…I intend on making sure that you’ve got a fair chance at achieving that goal! Next month we’ll be having our first televised special since the reopening, and on that show I’m going to schedule an eight team elimination tournament for the vacant Tag Team Titles! Having said that, allow me to introduce the first team to compete in the tournament…..your first “grand slam champion”…Bodycount!

(Even more so than before, Bodycount seemed pleasantly surprised by Slade’s announcement. It was clear from the expression on his face that Slade knew exactly what Bodycount would want to strive for. Then the other shoe dropped.)

Slade: And as his tag team partner….to ensure that this man completes his journey and goes down in the record books as the best ever….it will be….ME!!

(Slade threw his arms up in the air, expecting a roar of approval from the crowd that never came. Meanwhile, Bodycount’s smile faded into an uncertain frown as it became clear that having Slade as his partner would not have been his first choice. Then, with his announcement complete, Slade headed back towards the curtains, leaving Bodycount alone in the ring with a broken mic.)

[Number One Contender’s Match]

HORACE THE FREAK VS. JOHN COOPER

(“Prince Charming” blared over the loudspeakers and the small gathering of fans cheered the coming of the ASC Madman. He walked through the curtain, almost yanking it down in anger, and he stomped towards the sound guy's table. Without even a glance at the guy, the Freak snatched up the microphone.)

Horace: Coop! Get your big ass out here! nonono...Do NOT play his music. DO NOT! Just get him out here, dammit!

(The opening chords of "Big Bad John" played then fell silent. The sound guy swallowed hard, staring up at the maniac standing over him. "Big" John Cooper walked slowly out, having to duck his head to fit through the entrance. He looked deeply saddened as he approached Horace.)

Horace: You big dumb lying bastard! You and me, we had a deal. If it came down to the two of us last week, we'd have a clean match. No thumbtacks. No broken glass. Nothing!

John Cooper: Horace...

Horace: Don't "Horace" me, John. I agreed not to use a single weapon, and YOU DDT'ed me onto a god damned chair! THANKS TO YOU, THE JUGGERNAUT IS THE CHAMPION!!!

John Cooper: Horace, I didn't put the chair there. Juggernaut did. I didn't mean t-

DIRT DAWG’S MATCH REVIEW - Before Cooper could even finish his sentence, Horace laid into him with a shot to the jaw with his microphone. From there the Freak was unrelenting, never giving John a chance to unload his own offense, let alone a chance to explain last week’s actions. Seemingly unwilling to fight his longtime friend and stablemate, Cooper was forced to absorb Horace’s blows for the first several minutes, taking stiff shots to the head and midsection, before the Freak finally switched gears. Even then John had little defense. Horace took the big man’s legs out with a chop block and was quick to follow that up with stomps to the knee and wrenching leglocks. Displaying a rare proficiency for technical holds, albeit simple ones, the Freak apparently had Big John on the ropes and the number one contendership well within arm’s reach. Then he went one step too far. Caught up in the moment of the fight and desperate to get some kind of reaction out of Cooper, Horace laid into Big John with triad of obscenities before blatantly stomping on his crotch. With a disqualification far from his mind, Horace left Cooper on the mat in pain to retrieve a steel chair from ringside. Ignoring the referee’s warnings, Horace brought the chair into the ring just as Big John was getting back to his feet. No longer willing to take the Freak’s abuse, John met Horace’s charge with a high kick that sent the chair flying backwards into Horace’s face. He then followed his advantage by whipping Horace around the ring like a rag doll before pressing him high overhead and then dropping him to the mat below. Now, with Cooper in command, things got worse. The ASC Juggernaut made his way to ringside for a close up view of the possible contenders. He watched on as Horace desperately fought his way out of a Jailbreaker DDT and slapped on a Bite Me Mandible Claw. He watched as Cooper powered out of the hold by simply shoving Horace away with his massive arms. Then he stopped watching and took matters into his own hands. Still aggravated over the ruling of his match, The Juggernaut pulled the referee from the ring and hit him with a choke-bomb on the floor. From there The Juggernaut casually picked up Horace’s chair from earlier and entered the ring unseen. It took The Juggernaut but one shot to lay out the weakened Freak, and a total of four to take Big John Cooper off of his feet. With both men down and a no-contest ruling on the horizon, he continued to rotate chair shots until security was able to convince him otherwise. For the second week in a row, Unleashed came to a close with The ASC Juggernaut triumphant in the ring.

HORACE THE FREAK AND JOHN COOPER FOUGHT TO A NO-CONTEST AT 10:18

(The fans rate this match at 3 stars)