Laugh it up

This fellow was fishing off the shore when a lantern washes up. He picks it up and while he was drying it, all of a sudden there's a cloud of smoke and this Genie appears. The Genie thanks the angler for releasing him from the lantern and grants the angler three wishes. Well the fisherman thinks about it.
For his 1st wish, he asks for one of each piece of Fishin' Tackle in the BassPro Catalog. The Genie grants his wish and there's a whole warehouse full of tackle. For his 2nd wish, he asks for a Brand New Ranger Bass Boat with all the options and a 200hp Mercury Outboard. His 2nd wish is granted and there is a fully rigged Ranger Bass Boat and a 200hp Merc.
Well for his last wish, he asks that he be able to live a long long life and be able to fish every minute of everyday.
The Genie grants his final wish, and the fisherman turns into a GREAT BLUE HERON.

There were four blonde's sitting on the bank of a river, each with a fishing pole intently concentrating on the task at hand. A Fisheries Officer drives by and decides to check for the proper fishing licenses and equipment. He approached the women and told them he needed to check for their fishing licenses and to his surprise, they all replied they did not have one. However, before the Officer could speak, one of the women spoke up and said, "Sir, we are not fishing for you normal catch. We are environmentalists ridding the waters of garbage and other debris. We are not fishing for fish. We have poles, yes, but on the end of our lines we have magnets. The magnets are gathering up metallic debris from the bottom of this river and therefore, were are cleaning the environment." Stunned, the Fisheries Officer thought for a moment and then asked the women to retrieve their lines an show him the "magnets" they were using. Sure enough, one after the other, the women showed the officer various sized and colored magnets at the end of their line. Puzzled, the officer again thought for a moment then stated. "Well, you ladies seem to be doing a good thing here and there is no law against cleaning up a river bed with a magnet. More people should be like you so have a good day." With that the Officer drove off. As soon as the he was out of sight, the four women burst out in hysterical laughter. Finally, when one of them was able to speak, she said, "Stupid Fish Cop!. Doesn't he know there are STEALHEAD in this river?

Bill and Jack, were sitting in a bar one day, when two fishermen walked in with 2 huge trout, Bill asked where the guys got the fish, and the fishermen told him that they go down to the bridge, one guy would hold the other by the ankles until a fish was caught. Bill and Jack figured that they could do that. After holding Bill for about 20 minutes, Jack asked Bill if he had anything, and the reply was "no." About 20 more minutes passes, so Jack asked again, and again the reply was "no." Finally, Bill yelled "Pull me up!! Pull me up!!" Jack exclaimed "You got one?" Bill said, "No! a train is coming!!"

Three guys were stranded on a desert Island for several weeks and had become good friends. One day, while fishing at the beach, they found a small bottle. On opening it, a cloud of smoke was released and a genie appeared. The Genie said that it would grant them three wishes for setting it free and since there were three of them, they could have one wish each.
The first guy said "Oh, I wish I was back in my beach house, with my favorite brandy in hand". Poof, he was gone.
The second guy said "I just wish I was back on my usual bar stool at my favorite bar" and Poof he too disappeared.
The third guy was very quiet. Then slowly he began to cry and sobbed, "I'm so lonely here all by myself, I wish my two friends were back." Poof!

A man went fishing one day. He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in his mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free. But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked around the boat, but he had no food. All he had was a bottle of bourbon. So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots. The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds. He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat. With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!

50" World Record Rainbow Trout

There was a priest that loved to stream fish. One year there was a problem every time he had a chance to go fishing the weather was bad or it was on Sunday, when he had to work. All year he was unable to go. Finally it was the last week before the streams closed. The weather was bad all week until Sunday, when the weather was great.

The priest could not resist, he called a fellow priest claiming to be very sick and asked if he could take over his sermon. The fly fishing priest drove over 200 miles, not wishing to see anyone he knew.

An angel seeing the priest playing hooky went to God and said "You’re not going to let him get away with this are you?".

God agreed he should do something. The first cast the priest made was perfect. The fly floated past a log and a huge mouth gulped the fly down. For 45 minutes the priest ran up and down the stream fighting the mighty fish. At the end he held a 50" world record rainbow trout.

Confused the angel asked God, "What are you doing?"

God replied "Think about it, who's he going to tell?"

Fishing License

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.

After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. 'Let's see yer fishin' license, Boy!' the Warden gasped. With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license.

'Well, son,' said the Game Warden, 'you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!'

'Yes, sir,' replied the young guy, 'but my friend back there, well, he don't have one

Kent and three of his buddies have gone fishing every Saturday for nearly forty years. One Saturday, the guys are fishing along a highway when a funeral processional drives by. Well, Kent lays down his rod, stands up in the boat, takes off his lucky hat and places it over his heart. This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass. Once it passes, Kent sits down, puts his hat on and casts out without saying a word. Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions. one of them finally speaks up and says " that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by." Kent replied, "It seems the least I could do seeing as how I`ve been married to the woman for over forty years!"

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A priest and a rabbi, who have known each other since grade school, are out fishing.
The priest asks the rabbi,"tell me honestly, have you ever eaten pork chops?"
The rabbi admits that, "yes, I have eaten pork chops"
The priest says to him, "tastes pretty damn good, wouldn't you say?"
The rabbi replies, "yes, they did taste pretty good"
So latter on that day, the rabbi asks the priest, "Now you tell me honestly, have you ever had sex?"
The priest admits that he indeed had sex.
The rabbi says, "SURE BEATS THE TASTE OF PORK CHOPS,EH?"

Thanks Angler for this one.

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