a slave's vow

This is an email that kat wrote
to her wonderful Master
on March 25, 2000.
it feels to kat
as if this email represents
most clearly
her vows to her Master.

Pain Master has given kat
permission to reprint this here
for all to see His slave's devotion.

3-25-00

Master,
i am writing this morning because, well,
a. simply cuz i want to leave You email,
and b. because i have a zillion thoughts and feelings
rushing around in my mind.

i am sorry that i fell asleep once again,
on You last night, Master...
i think it's just that i get so tired,
and when i lie down with You,
even though physically You aren't here,
i feel You are...
i feel Your arms around me,
protecting me and keeping me safe
and warm and secure...
i hear Your voice in my ear,
whispering sweet things to me...

i feel Your friendship,
caressing my spirit...
i feel Your ownerships of me,
surrounding me and making me complete...
i feel protected and loved
and cherished and owned
and safe and warm and secure...
but mostly i feel at home,
where i belong.

What You said to me yesterday,
about being Your star in the heavens
and Your slave at Your feet
and everything in between...
that's what i want...
no,that's what i NEED...
i want to be Your uncatchable star...
i want to be absolutely everything to You...
i want to be Your slave,
and kneel at Your feet,
and lay my head in Your lap,
and know that peace
which i've been searching for...

i want to be Your very best friend,
the one You can tell anything to,
the one who You can talk to
about Your deepest desires
and Your most troubling fears...

i want to be Your lover,
the one You hold onto
in the middle of the night,
the one You get tangled up with....

i want to be Your little girl,
the one You correct,
the one who shows You the love
that You've not yet felt,
the love of a child,
with all the innocence and purity
of a four year old's heart...

i want to be Your buddy,
the one You "hangout" with,
the one You play cards with,
or watch the Super Bowl with...

i want to be Your slut,
the one You take at any time,
who can turn from that innocent child,
to a wanton whore,
craving Your touch,
Your body,
Your fire...

i want to be Your partner,
the one You share all Your struggles and successes with,
the one You wander the shores of the beach with,
and watch sunsets with...

i want to be Your slave, Master,
the one that You mold and form
into what You desire a slave to be,
the one who obeys Your commands
and offers herself
body,
heart,
mind
and soul
to You...
the one who trusts You implicitly,
in a way You've never been trusted before.....

Most of all Master...
i simply want to love You...
i want to be the one who shows You
what is meant by "true, unconditional love"
i want it to be me who opens Your eyes
to all the wonderous feelings and realities
that come with the bond that We are forming...
and in turn i want to have my eyes opened by You...

it's already started, Master...
i have glimpsed total perfection...
i have found it in Your arms...
i want to travel this journey with You, Master...
slipping my hand into Yours
to walk together sometimes....
or crawling behind You
as You lead me in a new direction...
i simply will follow where ever You lead...
so long as We are together,
my world is a wonderful place....

i very very simply and purely
want to be Yours...
and i simply want to love You...
with all the intensity that i love with...
i want to focus all of that energy
and intensity on You....

thank You, Master...
for simply allowing me to love You...
for taking my hand and walking this journey together...
i love You, Master...
totally and completely...

very simply,

Yours

Email: da_sweet_kat@yahoo.com