Surrender
‘Robert…’
The faint touch on my mind.  I’ve been talking to the girl for two weeks now.  I don’t know much about her, just that she’s younger than me, sixteen, maybe seventeen, and there’s a bond between us that both delights and disturbs me.  Never mind I found her first.

I go to her.  Part of my mind is talking, laughing with her the way we do, but a small part of me holds back, as I know she holds back.  Preserving our sanity, you could say.  As I preserve my sanity, my growing career, my life with Mary…I love her so and yet, this lost voice…

And then there’s Simon.

A light touch on my shoulder jerks me away from the girl.  Her voice fades as I turn to see Simon standing next to me.  “Si…what—what is it?”

His mouth curves into a smile.  Not for the first time, I notice his full mouth.  I wonder if  that pout is as soft as it looks, imagine my tongue sliding inside.  I firmly push the thought aside with a sigh as he says, “Didn’t mean to startle you, Robert.”  He looks uncomfortable a moment, then plunges in.  Interesting how well that phrase seems to go with Simon.  “Were you…ah…”

I know what he’s getting at.  “Yeah…it’s alright, Si.”  He’s still wearing what he wore in the photo shoot earlier:  white t-shirt, red scarf tied around his neck, leather jacket, leather pants.   I bite the inside of my lip as I remember the way he’d rested his head on my knee in the shoot.  I’d surprised myself by shivering ever so slightly, but I knew Simon had seen.  As he was sitting back up, he’d flashed me a smile that was just a shade too knowing.  I shiver again.

“Robert, look…I wanted to say…”  His brown eyes show me the words he can’t say.

  I want to tell him it’s all right…but the words won’t come.  Shit!  Why did I have to think of that word?  What is getting into me?

“You know what you’d like to get into you,’ some part of me whispers.  And god help me it’s true.  Not that I never notice Simon’s good looks…but this is the first time I respond to them.  I shiver as I imagine him naked and hot, writhing against  me.

Desperate to put some distance between us, I get up from the sofa and walk to the window.  A cold rain falls in contrast to the heated emotions inside me.  I love Si…but I also love Mary.  As for the girl, and how she fits into this…I don’t know.  “Don’t worry about it, Simon.  I just…guess I didn’t take it very well.”

There’s a creak of leather as Simon sits down on the sofa.  I try not to think of how his pants look molded to his tight arse.  “I don’t know what got into me, Robert.”  I try not to ponder his choice of words.  “It was cruel of me to say.”

I shrug without turning from the window.  “Forget it Simon.  We’ve all been a little on edge lately.  And maybe she is imaginary…but…it doesn’t feel that way.  You know?”

“Yeah.”  There’s the creaking again, and I know Simon has stretched out on the sofa.  I don’t dare look, even though I can sense him wanting me to.  What was going on with us?  The rain continues to fall outside.  I want to go outside and soak myself, feel the cold water on my heated skin.

“What do you talk about?” he asks suddenly.  His voice startles me out of my reverie.  “You did it again,” I tease him, and he rewards me with a throaty chuckle.

“Well…a lot actually.  The…connection, if you want to call it that…isn’t very strong sometimes.  When that happens, we just…kind of enjoy each other’s presence.”

“What about Mary?” he asks me.  I’m not at all surprised by it.  I ask myself that often.

I toy with the edge of the curtain as I say, “I love her, Simon.  You know that.  I’d rather have someone who’s flesh and blood, whom I can touch…than someone where I’m not even sure if it’s real.”
Simon doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s listening.  Something compels me to close the curtain.  What I’m telling him is intensely personal, and while of course no one could see inside and know what I was saying, I want full privacy.  “a part of me…I feel as if…I’ve known her before.  As if I’ve known her forever.  And I don’t know what to do anymore!”

“Do you love the girl, too?”

I hesitate, then answer him.  “Yes.”  My voice tremors slightly.  Boys don’t cry, and I’m too fucking close for comfort.  I can feel heated tears stinging my eyes.   And on top if it all, I’m in the throes of lust with my best friend.

“Robert.”

I turn with a gasp.  Simon is right in front of me now—I must not have heard him approach me.  His eyes are dark and unreadable—no.  I know the emotion they hold.  “Robert…I—“   He falters, uncertain of what to say.

The heat in his eyes takes me aback.  I pull my tongue off the roof of my mouth, willing myself to speak.  “Si…don’t…”  All I can think of is closing that small space between us, looping my hand into that scarf around his neck then pulling him hard and close against me for a kiss.

His eyes are huge and dark as he takes another step closer.  God, he’s fucking beautiful—Eyes dark and outlined in kohl in vivid contrast to his creamy skin.  The tiny mark not quite near his mouth—I want to kiss it.  Something inside me stirs fully awake at the thought as he says, “Don’t do what, Robert?”  His eyes slowly take me in, a wicked smile crossing his face.  “This has been a while in coming, right?”

That does it.  Unable to stop myself, my hand reaches out and grabs the scarf he’s wearing.  Simon gasps as I pull him up against me.  “Robert—oh!”  as he feels how hard I’ve suddenly become.  One hand still holds the scarf, my other reaches up to stroke his soft, dark hair.  “Simon.”

He smiles, making my head spin pleasantly.  Before either of us can stop ourselves, my mouth touches his, warm and slightly moist, as if he’d licked his lips recently.  The idea makes me moan  softly as our mouths slide together, a shudder running through Simon.  I bite at his lip, teasing him.  He groans softly, then pulls me sharply against him.  Caught off guard, I stagger, making us both off-balance, and we topple to the floor, still embracing.

No sooner does he have his wind back than Simon is kissing me, his tongue flicking over my lips.  I part them with a whimper that surprises us both.  We kiss again and again, tongues twining then parting, gasping with pleasure.

Every time I try to speak, Simon’s lips silence me.  I return the favor shamelessly.  Over and over, our hands roaming and caressing.    Somehow, this seems right.  It is right.  Suddenly Simon rolls atop me, his hardness pushing against mine in a way that makes both of us groan.

“Si…oh god…”  the feel of his cock rubbing against mine is maddening, even though we’re both fully dressed still.

“Yes…Ro—Robert…”  His tongue flicks into my ear,  then blazed a silky wet trail down the side of my neck before biting down, wringing a cry from me.

Suddenly he sits up.  I’m about to ask if he heard something, but I remember Lol won’t be back for a day or so.  His eyes never leaving mine, Simon pulls off his jacket and sets it aside.  His T-shirt and the scarf follow .  I reach up to caress his chest, run my fingers through the dark hair, but he pulls me to sit up.

“Take this off,” he pants, yanking at my own jacket.  I do, then both of us tear at my t-shirt together, finally removing it.  As soon as it’s off he pushes me back on the soft rug, looking down at me, his eyes dark and heavy.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, running his hands through the hair on my chest.  I writhe and arch beneath him as his hands slide and caress, my gasp turning into a soft cry as his fingers tease lightly at my hard nipples.

“Si…oh god…”  I reach up, intending to return the favor, but he stops me.  His hands pin mine to the floor then he leans forward to kiss me.  We moan as one as our tongues slither together, Simon holding my hands down excites me all the more.

He groans something against my mouth then grinds himself against me.  Amazingly my cock stiffens all the more, painfully so, and Simon grins at my cry of agonized pleasure.  His grin melts into his own cry as I thrust lewdly against him, biting my lip against a moan as I do so.  We torment each other this way for several minutes, our groans and gasps muffled as we kiss.

I open my mouth to say something, I’m not sure what, but Simon’s mouth covers it, his tongue thrusting in wicked counter-rhythm to his hips, and my words are lost.  I want to reassert myself, however, so I arch sharply against him once more.

Startled, Simon tries to pull back, but I wrap my legs around him, holding him.  His gasp goes straight to my cock, the ache unbearable now.  I struggle, desperate to free my hands so I can run them all over his body, and Simon laughs.  “Something you want, Robert?” he purrs down at me, his velvet tones making me shudder beneath him.  His smile widens a bit as he says, “Don’t worry, I’ll give it to you…but you have to let me go.”

I unwrap my legs and he Simon sits up, releasing my hands.  He climbs off to kneel at my side, his hands running the length of my chest, chuckling softly at my whimpers.  His eyes never leaving mine, Simon undoes my belt, then unbuttons my jeans.  The sound of my zipper being pulled down sends another shudder through me, and I close my eyes, savoring the feeling.

“Open your eyes, Robert,” he orders softly, “and look at me.”  His eyes trap and hold mine as he tugs on my jeans.  I lift my hips making it easier for him to pull them off and he does.  His eyes drop to the bulge in my boxers then dart back to my face, his hands roaming and caressing my chest once more, moving slowly lower.

I moan, writhing under his hands, hips lifting desperately to meet his touch.  “Simon…god…oh god…yes!”

The last word is nearly a hiss as he suddenly leans forward, yanking my boxers down with sudden savage intensity.  Before I can recover, his mouth devours my straining cock.  My groan of pleasure rings loudly in my ears as I writhe, twisting upwards to meet that lush mouth.

Suddenly he pulls away, then silences my protest with a kiss.  “Tease,” I growl at him, and he only laughs.  “I have to take my pants off too, Robert,” he purrs.  He kneels beside me, slowly running his hands down his chest, teasing me before running one hand over his own rigid member, smiling as I groan in frustration.   As I watch, it throbs in response to his touch, making my head cloud with desperate hunger.  I’m about to just grab him when he unfastens his pants at last, his eyes on mine as he slowly draws the zipper down.

Simon chuckles, taunting me.  It makes me want to just grab him, pull him hard and close against me.  In the next second, I’m doing exactly that, cutting off his gasp of surprise with a savage kiss.  My tongue thrusts into his mouth, no teasing this time, my hips grinding my cock hard and hot against him.

We writhe together, kissing and kissing, tongues sliding and licking.  His mouth is so soft as he kisses me, his tongue like liquid silk as it slides against mine.  Simon’s nails suddenly rake down my back, leaving fiery trails in their wake.  I bite at his tongue playfully, then suck it into my mouth, holding him captive.  He whimpers softly at the slight pain it gives, but the sudden pulse from his cock against my lower belly tells me enjoys it, too.

I have to release him to get his leathers off.  He sobs in protest as I release his tongue then cries out his hunger, helping to tear at the pants.  At last between us both, they’re off.  Impatient I fling them aside amidst a clatter of change and keys.

Simon reaches up and pulls me down atop him.  He writhes, whimpering helplessly as we kiss.  Our legs entwine somewhat as we fondle and caress, hands everywhere, leaving heated shivers in their wake.  Our cocks are slick and hot from precum now, and they slide against each other easily.  The sensation—the very idea—inflames us further, and we thrust and squirm, his legs around my waist, making me his captive.

Our breath comes in harsh, hot gasps, Simon’s especially.  He looks at me through a haze of dark passion, eyes slitted and glinting, face flushed, his dark hair in wild disarray around his face as he writhes.  The sight makes me burn from within.

Suddenly his eyes open fully, locking on to mine as he gasps, the gasp becoming a cry as he stiffens, shuddering beneath me.  He throws his head back, my name ringing in my ears as he cries out his ecstasy to me.  “Robert…oh…god!  I’m—yes!”

The sound goes right to my groin.  Growling, I sink my teeth into his shoulder as he comes, crying out one last time in pained delight at the feel of my teeth.

Both of us are still panting as Simon relaxes beneath me.  After a moment, he reaches up to stroke my hair, smiling.  I turn my head to press my lips to the pulse in his wrist, making him sigh softly.  “Robert…did…did you…”

When I shake my head no, he reaches down between us.  His slender hand slides along the wetness on my belly, then over my still rigid cock.  I groan deeply, every nerve afire as he wets me thoroughly.  His lips brush my earlobe, making me groan softly as he whispers, “Then what are you waiting for, Robin?”  He lifts himself slightly, his hand guiding my cock between his thighs, his teeth sinking into my earlobe.

My lust-hazy brain hesitates.  ‘Simon has done this before,’ I think.  He seems a little too knowing, a little too eager.  But it doesn’t matter.  It’s the two of us here and now.  “Yes, Simon,” I whisper, my voice nearly a moan.  “Oh god, yes.”  And I take him in one sudden thrust.

His cry of agonized delight as my cock slams in to the hilt tells me I was wrong.  Gasping harshly, every nerve in my body screaming, I force myself to stop.  “Si…” I pant.  “I didn’t—do you…”

His eyes nearly send me over right there.  “Please, Robert…please, I need—oh god!  Yesss!”

I pull back and plunge inside him, over and over, his face contorted in a mask of delighted pain.  His nails rake down my back, my shoulders, bringing my blood this time before reaching down to clasp my buttocks, drawing me deeper.  He tosses his head back and forth, moaning deep in his throat, urging me on in an obscenely breathless voice.  “Fuck me…god, Robert…yes!”

Simon’s second orgasm catches me off guard.  The feel of his sex-slick body writhing uncontrollably against me, his frantic cries push me over the edge as well.  I shudder, my head thrown back a harsh cry erupting from my own throat as I come, harder than I ever have before.  Simon’s teeth sink into the side of my neck, just above my shoulder, making me shudder with a final sob.

We lay there for several minutes, lost in the moment’s pleasure.  Simon’s fingertip brushes over my lips and I kiss it, darting out my tongue.  I fancy I can taste myself on his skin.

We open our eyes and look at each other, the smile in his eyes reflecting the one I feel inside.  “This has been a long time in coming,” he says again softly.

I can’t help but joke with him.  “Well, it didn’t take that long!”  He laughs with me, then presses that soft pout of his against mine.  God, I can’t get enough of kissing him!  The tips our tongues tease, then withdraw.

I smile down at him, then gently pull out.  He winces as I do, but quickly smiles to reassure me.  I imagine he is quite sore, at that.  Echoing my thoughts he grins and says, “Next time, I get to be on top!”

“No regrets then I take it?” I tease him.  I kiss him gently before lying to one side, smiling down at him.

“None, really,” He assures me.  “And you?”

Mary.  The girl.  Both enter my mind, and for a moment, I do regret it.  But this has nothing to do with Mary, or that mysterious girl.  It has everything to do with Simon and I.  As if regardless of anything, this was meant to happen.

Simon’s brown eyes grow dark with concern.  “None,” I assure him.  “None whatsoever.”  I lay back down beside him and hold him close.

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