Top Ten Ways You Can Tell Your New Chief Isn't Working Out Well

• Instead of holding up his hand when being sworn in, he holds up his middle finger.
  
  
• Exchanges all 8 cylinder Crown Vics for NIKES.
  
  
• Shows up at first press conference dressed as Batman.
  
  
• When reminded of promises he made, he says "Hey, I was a different person back then."
  
  
• Orders patrolmen to start rounding up babes "Arkansas-style".
  
  
• No one knows why, but every carnival operating in the city has to show him their fat lady.
  
  
• He shows up for work with a lunch box full of crack.
  
  
• Wants to ride in the back seat when transporting transvestite hookers.
  
  
• He's caught firing shots at his own home.
  
  
• Starts all speeches with "Hello, suckers!"

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