• "Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly."

  • "Man who run in front of car get tired."

  • "Man who run behind car get exhausted."

  • "Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ."

  • "Man with one chopstick go hungry."

  • "War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left."

  • "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse."

  • "Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night."

  • "It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it."

  • "Man who drive like hell bound to get there."

  • "Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement."

  • "Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs."

  • "Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger."

  • "He who finds tack in chair say "ouch" but screw in bed say "ahh".

  • "Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have! "

  • "Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons. "

  • "Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night. "

  • "Wash your face in the morning, neck at night. "

  • "He who kisses womans ass gets crack in jaw."

  • "Fool climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs."

  • "Seven day honeymoon make hole weak."

  • "Man who lay girl on hill not level."

  • "When baby cry, give bust in mouth."

  • "Girl who sleep with judge, get honorable discharge."

  • "Girl who wear jock strap have "make-believe ballroom"."

  • "Man's wife is his better half, mistress his better whole."

  • "Farmer who wants eggs must have cock and pullet."

  • "A state of pregnancy exists when girl takes seriously something poked in fun."

  • "No differance between man and mouse-both end up in pussy."

  • "Man who loses key to girl's apartment gets no new key."

  • "Naked man fears no pick pocket. "

  • "Baby concieved on seat of car with automatic transmission, grows up to be shiftless"

  • bastard."

  • "Man who fishes in other man's lake, often catches crabs."

  • "It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl."

  • "Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."

  • "Man who finger girl having period may get caught red handed."

  • "Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam."

  • "Man who eat many prunes get good run for money."

  • "He who eats too many jelly beans, farts in living color. "

  • "Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock."

  • "Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn. "

  • "Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy."

  • "Virgin like balloon . . . one prick, all gone."

  • "Man who meows ate pussy!"

  • "Man with hand in pocket is having a ball."

  • "Those who quote me are fools."

  • "Baseball wrong . . . man with four balls cannot walk!"

  • "Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it."

  • "Work to become, not to acquire."

  • "Show off always shown up in showdown."

  • "Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock."

  • "Man with no legs bums around."

  • "Man who pull out too fast leave rubber."

  • "Baby ill-conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard."

  • "A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."

  • "Find old man in dark, not hard!"

  • "Confucius say too God damn much!"

  • "Man who smoke pot choke on handle."

  • "Man who screws near graveyard f***ing near dead. "

  • "Ok for shit to happen . . . will decompose."

  • "When in doubt, whip it out."

  • "A man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts."

  • "Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!"

  • "War doesn't determine who's right, war determines who's left."

  • "Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."

  • "Girl who marry detective must kiss dick."

  • "Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed."

  • "Girl who go to bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit."

  • "Man have more hair on chest than woman - but on the whole woman have more."

  • "Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy."

  • "Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind."

  • "No difference between man and mouse - both end up in pussy."

  • "Woman is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag time."

  • "Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house."

  • "Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk."

  • "Man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs."

  • "Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!"

  • "If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people."

  • "Man with athletic fingers make Broad Jump!"

  • "House without toilet is uncanny."

  • "Many men smoke but Fu Manchu."

  • "He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser."

  • "While others are inside sitting down, you will be outstanding."

  • "Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy!"

  • "Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"

  • "It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."

  • "Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."

  • "Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary."

  • "Man who go out with flat chested woman feel shallow."

  • "Man that have sex with hole in ground have piece on earth."

  • "Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."

  • "Man who bounce woman on bed spring this spring have offspring next spring."

  • "Woman with bleached blonde hair have black hair by cracky."

  • "Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money."

  • "Wife for life is better than wife for strife."

  • "Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink."

  • "Man who drive like hell bound to get there!"

  • "Girl with little red bike peddle ass all over town!"

  • "Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!"

  • "Girl who slides down banister nude gets splinters by crackey!"

  • "Rape no good, woman run faster with dress up, than man can with pants down."

  • "Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand."

  • "Better to sleep with chicken than to choke it."

  • "All blonde not blonde by cracky."

  • "Man who sit on tack get point!"

  • "Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!"

  • "Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!"

  • "Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new-key!"

  • "Woman who fly plane upside down have hairy crack up!"

  • "Man who has woman on ground has piece on earth!"

  • "Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"

  • "Man who fart in church sit in his own pew!"

  • "Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day!"

  • "America good place to put chinese restaurant."

  • "Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok. "

  • "Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."

  • "Man who run behind car get exhausted."

  • "Man who is jacking off into a peanut butter jar is f__king nuts."

  • "Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have sh_tty time."

  • "Man who go to bed with a problem in hand wakes up in the morning with a solution in hand."

  • "He who refuses to listen is lying"

  • "He who stands in corner with hands in pocket doesn't feel crazy, feels nuts."

  • "He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons."

  • "He who pull out to fast leave rubber behind."

  • "Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache."

  • "Wash your face in the morning, neck at night."

  • "Man who have woman on ground have piece on earth."

  • "Confucious say it take square ass to s**t a brick. "

  • "Crowded elevator smells different to midget. "

  • "Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement! "

  • "To make egg roll, push it. "

  • "Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy... "

  • "Fly which rests on toilet seat gets pissed off. "

  • "Woman who put chicken and peas in soup, very unhygienic. "

  • "Man with athletic finger make broad jump. "

  • "Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent."

  • "Secretary not part of furniture until screwed on desk."

  • "He who let woman on top is f***ing up"

  • "Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat-house."

  • "He who eat many prunes get good run for money."

  • "Learn to masturbate--come in handy."

  • "Man who put willy in peanut butter F***ing nuts"