Miranda Rights Revisited

Subject: right to remain silent - revised
Date: Mon, October 04 1999 09:13:51 -0600

1. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN MOTIONLESS, OR YOU MAY ELECT TO RUN AWAY FROM ME.

2. SHOULD YOU DECIDE TO RUN, I SHALL DIRECT MY K-9 TO CHASE YOU DOWN TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH.

3. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE YOUR LAWYER RUN WITH YOU. SHOULD HE REFUSE, A RECENT LAW SCHOOL GRADUATE WILL BE APPOINTED BY THE COURT TO JOG ALONG WITH YOU.

4. IF WHILE RUNNING YOU SUDDENLY DECIDE TO END THE RACE, BEWARE THAT MY K-9 MAY OR MAY NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR INTENSIONS AND MAY CONTINUE HIS PURSUIT OF YOUIN FULL STRIDE.

5. YOU MAY STOP RUNNING AT ANYTIME AT YOUR OWN RISK.

6. GOOD LUCK.. ON YOUR MARK, GET SET.......GO!!!!

 

or how about . . .

 

1. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SWING FIRST. ANYTHING YOU DO CAN AND WILL LEAD TO AN ASS KICKING.

2. YOU HAVE THR RIGHT TO HAVE A PRIEST AND EMT, PRESENT AT THE TIME OF THE ASS KICKING.

3. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A PRIEST ONE WELL BE APPOINTED TO YOU, TO READ YOU YOUR LAST PRAYER!!

 

YOUR ARE UNDER ARREST AND . . .

1. NO...I DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

2. NO...I DONT CARE WHO YOU KNOW.

3. YES...YOU DO PAY MY SALARY.

4. YES...YOU CAN HAVE MY JOB.

5. NO...I DONT HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO.

6. YES...I DO ARREST REAL CRIMINALS SOMETIMES.

7. NO...I AM NOT PICKING ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE (FILL IN SOME ETHNIC GROUP/RACE).

8. NO...I CANT GIVE YOU A BREAK.

9. NO..I DONT KNOW YOUR FRIEND OFFICER_______________?

10. YES...YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO MAKE A PHONE CALL.

11. YES...YOU PROBABLY WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.

12. NO...WE CANT TALK ABOUT IT.

13. YES..IT DOES MAKE ME HAPPY.

14. YES..YOU WILL SEE ME IN COURT.

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