~ one month later~ It's been a month now that Nick has asked me to marry him. When we told both of our parents this, they weaped of joy. They were so happy for us. And as for the date? We decided on Feb. 14. Perfect. Nick and the rest of the guys, just now started there 3 month vacation. It's going to be great, except......there's something that I need to tell Nick. I would have told him earlier, but I just found out today. He should be here in about an hour. When I tell him this, I don't know he's going to take this. Not good I don't think. It's hard for me to even believe it.
~ 1 hour later~
" Hey sweet cakes." he said, kissing me on my forehead.
" Hey baby, how was the flight?"
" It was alright. I missed you so much."
" Me too." I said, hugging him tightly.
" Honey, is there something wrong?"
" Why do you ask?" I said looking into his eyes.
" Because I can tell in your eyes. Now whats wrong?"
" Hey Denise!" Brian said, walking into our home.
" Hey Brian, I didn't know you were here?"
" Nick invited me to come over and hang out for a while."
" Thats sounds cool."
" Brian can you go take a walk outside for a while." Nick said.
" Yeah sure."
As soon as Brian left, Nick then looked at me wanting to know what was bothering me. I'm so afraid to tell him. This one thing could change our lives forever.
" Now whats wrong baby? You know you can tell me anything. I always tell you everything that I need to let out in the open."
" I know Nick. But...." I said lowering my head.
" But what baby? You can tell me." He said lefting my head up, so that I was now looking straight in his beautiful blue eyes.
" Can't we talk about this later?" I said trying my best not to tell him right now.
" It's better that you say what you want to say and get it over with, you'll feel much better."
" I'm so scared Nick." I said lowering my head and crying.
" Scared of what Sweet cakes?"
" Scared of what your reaction will be when I tell you this."
" Honey, no matter what it is you have to tell me, I'm pretty sure I'll understand you. You always understand what ever I have to say."
" I know Nick, but what I have to say is way different."
" Ok...just take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong and I'll try my best to fix it."
I sat down on the couch and cried into my hand.
" Nick no made how I put what I'm about to tell you, I know your going to have a reaction to it."
" If I do, I'll try to control it. Now please, tell me."
" Nick I don't know any other way to put this, I would have told you earlier, but I just found out this today. I'm pregnant Nick."
" How can that be, we've been so careful?"
" Except the night you proposed to me, remember?"
" Oh yeah. Is it for sure that your pregnant?"
" Yes, 100%."
" Oh my God. Is it mine?"
" I can't believe you Nick?! How can you say something like that, when you that your the only one I sleep with? I thought you would trust me enought to know that I would never ever cheat on you. I can't believe you would say a thing like that."
" Look, I sorry, I'm just as shock as you are about this. What do you want to do? I know this sounds crazy, but can't keep this baby, we're way too young for this."
" No Nick! Don't you even go there! I am not going to have an abortion, not even for you!"
" Denise I'm not ready to be a father yet!"
" What? And you think I'm ready to become a mother? No Nick!"
" You know how much I love you, but-"
" But what Nick? That your not ready to be a father?"
" Yes, how am I suppose to take care of this child, when I can barely take care of myself?"
Hearing Nick say that, hurt me so much. I looked at him and grabed my purse and walked out of his sight.
" Where are you going?"
" I'm leaving Nick! You seem not to care about how I feel about this, your only thinking about youself, how this will effect you and your career!"
" No I'm not, I worried about how this will effect us. Denise I don't want to loose you."
" Nick maybe it's best if we don't see each other for a while."
" No Denise, don't do this. Come back inside and we'll talk about this."
" What's there to talk about Nick? You already let me know how you feel about this, so there's nothing more that we need to talk about."
" Denise please don't leave me like this. I'm sorry for what I said, I know that it was wrong what I said, and I'm sorry for it."
" Nick I still love you, and I will always love you, but we just need time apart from each other to think this over. There not very much I can think of, it's you thats has to do the thinking, whether or not you want any part of this or not." I said walking out the door, crying.
" Denise what's wrong?" Brian said running up to me.
" Denise please, don't do this."
" Nick it's better like this."
" You guys what's going on?" Brian said, confused.
" Brian is it ok if stay at your house for a couple of days?"
" Yes, only if you tell me what's going on first."
" I'll tell you later Brian."
" Ok, fair enough."
" Denise, just stay here and we'll work this out, please baby."
" Nick no. We both need this, you might not think so, but we do. It's not that I don't want to be with you-"
" Then what is it?"
" Bye Nick." I said, getting into Brian's car.
" I'll give you a call when I get home Nick." Brian said.
" I love you, and you know I'll always love you." I said, gliding my hand across his cheek.
" Please don't leave me, Denise."
" I'm sorry Nick."
" You ready to go?" Brian said, starting up the car.
" Yeah......It comes a time in your life when you have to make hard descion, and now is that time Nick. When you have your descion made, you know where I'm at. I love you......bye."
" I love you too."
Leaving Nick behind was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. Even though I didn't want to, I knew it was better this way. He needs time to think about what he wants to do. Seeing him in the rear view mirror, and seeing him cry, made me brust into tears. I've never see Nick cry like that before. The thought of raising this child with no father, is not what I wanted. What I wanted was for this child inside me, is to have two parents that care for deeply.
Now I'm not so sure if that will ever happen. But this is not what I wanted. I wanted me and Nick to get married, then a couple of years, maybe we would have children. But not now, we aren't even married yet. Married? I strongly doubt it that Nick will want to marry me now. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any better, it gets worse. How am I suppose to handle taking care of this child? I'm so scared.
