The Makings of a Knight or His Footsteps have Fallen Here Part 2 March 1st. James the baby and I boarded a plane to England. I don't know who was more sad. Buffy or her mother. If it wasn't for the vampire kidnaping I doubt she would be able to part with him. That had been the worst day of our lives I think. But March 1st was the saddest. I don't think there was a dry eye at the airport. "Goodbye my son. I will see you again someday." Buffy said to the baby nestled in a baby carrying device of some sort. "I know you'll love him enough. I'm sorry I had to burden you with this." Buffy embraced me, weeping into my sweater. "It is no burden. I haven't been to England in a long time. We will talk frequently. I will never be far from you. Remember my heart beats with the life essence you gave it." We kissed. The kiss of a lifetime you see in old movies that always end so sadly sweet. It was a kiss to last for years and years. Giles had made some calls and contacted some friends who helped find us a place on the outskirts of London. I was going to be working from the apartment researching for the Watcher's Council. That way I could be with the baby all the time in case anything happened. It worked out well. I eventually saved up enough to get a computer and instead of snail mail Buffy and I e-mailed. I became quite the computer whiz. I would take James to the park every Sunday. He grew slowly and we began to forget Buffy. Rather not forget but she became less of hole in my heart as I grew to love her child. Sometimes he woke up crying at night and I would sit with him by the window and rock him back to sleep. I would tell him softly all the names of the constellations and tell him what it was like in the 1800's. And on nights when he wouldn't stop crying I would describe Buffy to him. That always made him quiet. He walked earlier than he talked, A bit her of Slayer powers in him I think. And when he talked his first word was dada. That made me so happy I almost forgot he wasn't mine. We built a circle of friends through neighbors, watchers and people we met in the park. I made up beautifully tragic stories that impressed the single mothers but I didn't want any of them. It was all for sport. I always wished I could be part of what was happening in Sunnydale. I was on the outside looking in again. Buffy told me how they graduated college and got jobs. Willow worked at a software company and Tara did whatever. Buffy got a part time job at a library thanks to Giles. It gave her time to Slay. Xander was head of a construction company and Anya still worked at the store. I told her what James was doing. Sometimes we talked on the phone but it was rare. I was worried about Angel. They saw each other sometimes by accident or some twist of fate. It hadn't happened in a long time but I dismissed it. When James was 2 we began taking trips to the countryside. He looked more like his mother each day. I fancied I saw myself in him too. My Mannerisms, sayings, likes and dislikes. He really was my son. I admit I spoiled him. Like I would have spoiled Buffy. But I also demanded much from him. He was stronger than the other kids. He learned games early. When James was 4 Buffy told us Xander and Anya had married. Good for them. We were never very good friends but I wished I could have been there. She sent me pictures. I hid them from James. I couldn't tell him. She was as beautiful as always. But she was older. I could see it. The years of hard physical toil had taken them out on her. I hinted to the Watcher's Council about sending out a new one but they said no. She wasn't dead. So I made it a mission to see Faith freed from jail. From what I heard she was good now. She would help Slay. She had a few years off so why couldn't she help? I enrolled James in a soccer league when he was little. I became one of those camera toting dads that you see more in the states. I captured as much as I could to send to Buffy. I had many scrapbooks devoted to him so she wouldn't miss a moment. Sometimes I missed the freedom of being a vampire. The simple life. But seeing him scoring a goal and calling me dad made it all worth while. "Dad where's mum?" He asked one day while we were shopping. "Your mother. Well she's far away." "Why can't I see her?" He interrupted looking up at me with his solemn brown eyes. They reminded me of Angel that damn vampire. So very much his pained soulful eyes. "She loves you very much. But you can't see her because it is dangerous. Someday you will see her. I promise." "If you say so daddy." He paused. "Why aren't you will mommy? Because it is dangerous?" "Yes." "Does she love you 2?" "I think so." "Do you love me." "More than life." "Ok." He snuggled up to my leg and we continued down the street, It had been 5 years since I had seen Buffy. Since I took away her son. And over 5 years since she had seen Angel. Angel who finally repaid his debt to society. I got a desperate phone call late one night. "He's back Spike. And I'm so scared. What do I say? I can't tell him yet." "Calm down. I can't understand you. Angel?" "Yes. And I'm so confused Spike. It's been so long. I love him. Lord knows I do. But we can't just pick up from here. I need your help. Your reassurance." "In what?" "Telling him. He needs to know." "Daddy?" I looked up. James was standing in the doorway. "Go to bed. Daddy is making an important business call." The boy exited the room. "I can't tell you what to say. The words have to come from your heart. He can't have expected you to stop living while he was redeeming himself," "I know. But he wanted a life for us so bad." "What about if Riley was still here? You'd have to deal with the same problems only worse." "Will you hold on Spike? I'm gonna go get Angel and bring him here so you can hear as I tell him. I need you to be there on the line to give me strength," "Of course Buffy." She left for a moment and the line was quiet. This was it. The true end of anything we started. It hurt but she needed me. Finally she returned. "Buffy why did you bring me in here?" "Because I needed to talk to you." I listened intently. "There are things you need to know before you decide that you want to start over with me." "You can tell me anything Buffy." "First you need to know that Spike is human." "Spike human? Hard to believe. How? when?' "5 years ago. We aren't sure how. Right around the time Riley died. And Riley left some things behind." "What kind of things? Money? A prophecy." "A son. I was pregnant when he died." It was quiet for a long time. I thought the line went dead. "And where is this child?" "With Spike. In England. Sunnydale is no place for the child of a Slayer." "He's with Spike? In England? Are you stupid?" "I knew you wouldn't understand." I could imagine her breaking down into tears and his face morphing if he was still a vampire. "No Buffy. I'm sorry. If you trust him that much then he must have really changed. I guess I just hoped you would wait for me." "I wanted to Angel. But I was so lonely. And i was only 19." "But with Riley? And Spike?" He couldn't get past it. I didn't blame him. "Angel we knew our future could never truly begin until I got away from the hellmouth and that only happens when I die. We were doomed from the start." "There has to be a way. They can't make you do this forever." "We don't know. But that is why I sent James away. This darkness is no place for a child. And I know." "Then we can wait it out together. But I want to be with you Buffy. Say you'll marry me. We can forget everything and I can be with you in whatever time you have." "Say yes." I found myself yelling into the phone. "You need him." The last words were drowned out as heavy breathing took over. "Spike? Why are you-? Why is this? You didn't trust me? You had Spike there in case?" "That's not it!" She tried to interrupt. "That is it. You still don't trust me. I'm still the beast and who could ever learn to love a beast?" He roared. I heard her scream and the line clicked. I stared at the phone fear wrapping itself around me. "Something's gonna happen." The next morning I convinced the nanny to come stay with James while I made an emergency trip to Sunnydale. I could have been out of my mind who knows. But I think I did it for love. "Daddy why do you have to go?" James wailed as I tried to leave. "I have to do something important. I'll be back soon." It was a traumatic mistake to never leave him alone before. Well it would scar him for life. That's not always a bad thing. But Buffy's life was more important than his childish tears. I flew all day and arrived in Sunnydale that evening. Hoping for good news I hoped the local bus to Sunnydale and arrived at the Summers house. It was so weird being there. Like time had stood still for me. I rushed up and rang the bell madly. "Spike what are you doing here?" Dawn opened the door. I could hardly recognize her. She had grown up while I was away. "Buffy? Angel?" A look of realization crossed her face. "We still don't know. I heard it last night when I was coming in and she raced out the door past me with Angel on her trail. We've been looking for her somewhat but he is human. She can be so silly sometimes." "I think I have an idea." I grabbed her in surprise and began swiftly marching down the street. "Where are we going?" "The first place you should have looked if you knew your sister at all." In the distance loomed the abandoned mansion. The scene of so many tragedies in the Buffy/Angel saga. I could feel her as I entered. I knew her again. "Buffy come out. It's Spike." "Spike?" She popped up from behind a statue. "What are you doing here?" "Making sure you are alright. "I walked over and helped her out. "I'm fine. I was stupid. I forgot he was just a scared little human. I was just overwhelmed. We both were. All the years had come flooding back to hearts that weren't ready." "Let's go home. Your friends and family are worried. And wherever Angel is I'm sure he is worried too." "I was. I am." We looked up. He entered. "I saw you come in here. I was walking all day just thinking. My feet hurt and so does my head and my heart." His eyes were droopy and his hair all mussed. Buffy reached over and took my hand. "I'm so sorry Buffy. And Spike. I didn't mean to make you come here and cause such a ruckus and be so mean. Nothing in the world could have prepared me for what you told me last night. And I've been long gone from this world. I wasn't ready." "I'm sorry. I thought you could handle it. I needed to share the feelings that had been bottled up within me with you Angel." She let go but still didn't move towards him. "You have to understand where I am coming from. And you have to know that I'm not the Buffy you remember. And He's not the Spike. And things aren't going to be wonderful." "I understand. I really do. Thank you Spike. For being there for her. For her son. It's going to take a long time to start over Buffy. But you're the only person in the world I live for. I worked so hard so many years for you. And I'll do whatever it takes." "In time things will be amended." She took a step towards him and they took each other hands and it was quiet for a moment. "Let's go home." Dawn suggested. "You look a lot different Spike." Angel commented on the stroll home. "I would think so. I'm an old dad now. I've been away from the hellmouth too. Makes you fat and lazy not having to watch your back." I joked. When we arrived back the Scooby Gang had filled the house and there was chaos. Happy chaos though, After being happy that Buffy was back we found out from Giles that Buffy was going to retire and Dawn would take her place. She had good Slayer genes I guess. The Watcher's Council wanted her to come back with me the very next day. "Spike do you know what this means?" Buffy threw herself into my arms. "That after Dawn in properly trained and I am truly retired I can take James back and we can start a new life. Maybe somewhere up north in the Valleys." I was crushed. She had to be joking. She was going to ignore her sister's need for a Slayer guide and take away my son? Only time would tell. She decided to take a quick trip away from the hellmouth to help Dawn settle in London and against my protests decided to see James. We came back from the airport in a taxi. I warned them about our tiny flat. We entered the house and called to Mrs Poppins. (I'm not kidding. Her name was Poppins) James came running with her on his trail. "Daddy!" He ran straight to me and wrapped his arms around my legs. I picked him up and hugged him. "I brought some friends to visit you. This is Dawn and this is Buffy." I looked at Buffy, challenging her. Her face fell. "Hello." He said waving. "Hi James. I met you before when you were very little. You were only a tiny baby." Buffy said reaching a hand out to him. I put him down and he looked up at her. "I think I remember." He grinned. I smiled sadly. "Would you like to go play James? I bet you have some great toys." Dawn asked him. They scampered off. I paid Mrs Poppins and she left. Buffy and I were alone in the foyer. "So that's my son." "You should see him play soccer. He's got your strength and speed. He looks like you." "No he looks like you." I knew she was gearing up for a speech. "And he's your son. He's not mine. And I don't know what got into me. But that would ruin his life. He's happy with you. And he brings you great joy. I can see it in your eyes. I'm sorry for wanting to take that from you." "No I'm sorry. It hurts you I know. But I had to let you figure that on your own. I only want what's best for him." "I know." She stayed for the night pretending to be just my friend and left the next day. Dawn stayed for a few days until her watcher came and she was taken to be trained. Life was hard for awhile after that. Seeing Buffy and all our past together had come back. But relief came in the form of a 5'6'' fashion designer with 2 dogs and a big heart. James and I played soccer int he park every weekend with all the crazy English people. Our soccer ball flew into the air and rolled off. I chased after it and was bowled over by a St Bernard. "I'm so sorry!" A pretty dark haired woman jogged up to us and grabbed the dogs collar. "He's very gentle. He just loves to play ball though." I stood up and pet the dogs head. James came running over. With another dog behind him. He was laughing hysterically. "I take it hat one's yours too?" "Yes." "Well I think he likes my son." "Titus! Come here!" she called the other dog over and James came trailing after. We looked at each other for a moment smiling. An inquisitive looked flashed over her face before she reached towards my shirt and did a tag check. "Excuse me?" "Oh! I'm so sorry!" she blushed. "That sweater looked so familiar. It's my brand. Or my company. I'm Annie of Annie's men." She stuck out her hand. "Well I like your sweaters Annie." That was it. It was settled. "My name is ...William Hunter." We played soccer or as she called it ‘football' the rest of the afternoon with the dogs and kids. James loved her. She was a sweet woman and she made all the memories of Buffy fade into happy softness. It was like my memories of being a vampire. They were all a dream away. Annie became part of our family and we began traveling the world with her and her career. James grew fast as children do. I found my human life so fleeting. We tried for children once. I was defective. Who would have guessed 140 odd year old sperm wouldn't work? I assumed Angel had the same problems. It was a happy existence. Better than I could have hoped for. When James was 12 one of our journeys took us to LA. I explained to Annie that I wanted to see some old friends and off James and I went to Sunnydale. To him they were just my old friends. The Summers house was there as always. With one exception. Giles and Joyce had married. The gang was everywhere. Tara and Willow still lived around and Xander and Anya lived a few towns over. But it was lonely. Joyce was happy to see her grandson though she couldn't explain to him why she was crying. "We've seen you on tv. When Dawn comes to visit. Some fashion channel she watches." Giles said. "Yes. I married Annie of Annie's Men. We are all very happy." "My mom makes my clothing. "James said proudly. "So we want to see Buffy." "Oh. Well of course." Joyce ans Giles exchanged looks. "Let me get you the address." "So how is she?" "She's good Spike." Joyce said. "She's fine." We got back in the car and drove north. It was beautiful. I was surprised they hadn't settled closer but after all the years in her mother's house and her history in Sunnydale I guess her fresh start had to be somewhere else. "Did I meet this chick before?" "First off don't call her chick James. Yes you have. I'm surprised you remember. You were 5 years old." "Well she was weird. She always looked like she was going to cry." I clopped him off the head. "Buffy is a nice woman. Don't say that you knucklehead." He rolled his eyes. We arrived at the moderate ranch home and limbed the steps. I paused at the bell. What would this visit dredge up? "Hello? Who is it?" The door opened. A very matronly Buffy answered. "Spike?" "William." I interrupted. "Nice to see you. And James. Why you've grown so much young man." We stood for a moment before she ushered us in. "Angel we have visitors." We entered the living room and there was Angel. The only word I could describe him with is Time. He had a great dose of it. He stood up and limped towards us. "Accident in the line of duty." He explained stiffly. He shook my hand and sized up James. "Nice to meet you young man." "Hello sir." James shook his hand. "Angel, why don't you offer our young guest a snack while I talk to S-William." Angel lead James into the kitchen and we were alone. "You could have warned me." "I didn't have a choice. We were here and I thought it would be a good idea. I wanted to see how you were." "I'm good." "Really?" "Yes. I'm bored for once. I've never had a chance to be bored. We are happy here." "No kids?" "No. But we don't mind. We take care of Xander's brood. I have my Angel." "Giles mentioned." "And you?" "Happily married. He needed a mother." "I should have tried harder." "He'll be ok." "Without me." "A boy knows his mother loves him." "You always know how to comfort me." She gave me a tired smile and we embraced. "It was great seeing you Buffy." "You too Spike. I'm happy for you." Angel and James rejoined us. "You've got a great kid there Spike." Angel said looking at Buffy. It pained him to see her child that was everyone's but his. We left again and years later we were drawn back. James was to be trained as the new Watcher. It ran in the family. So he took over for Giles who retired and we moved back to Sunnydale. It was a bittersweet existence. Something no one could ever have predicted but it suited us. Buffy and me.
