Chapter 10: In Which He Escapes "Hello?" Xander opened his eyes. He felt like a violated corpse. His head hurt and so did his body. He groaned. His involuntary bodily actions had caused him grief since he had been out. A minion scampered into the room. "Hello one liked by the almighty Glorificus." "Hi. Can you untie me?" "I'm sorry. Her loveliness would not approve. She told me to look after you while she freshens up. Would you like some food? A drink perhaps?" "Some Tylenol? Any kind of painkiller? I'm about to pull a coyote ugly here." "A painkiller. I'm not sure what that is. Let me ask my husband." "It's female!" Xander would have laughed to himself but his head hurt to much and tears were on the verge of trickling down his face. He closed his eyes and tried to still the pulsing but it only made him more dizzy. He wondered for a moment if anyone was going to rescue him. He didn't know how long he'd been there but it had been awhile at least. He wondered if Glory really was going to keep him alive. Why did he always attract that type of person? He didn't understand. Ms French. Anya. Glory. Etc. One of the demons entered the room holding a glass of water. "I think I found what you referred to as a painkiller." She helped him sit up and take it then he lay back down and groaned. Slowly he felt the pain ebb from his body as a pleasant numbness took over. Then he began feeling strange. The demon who had given him the pill ran back into the room. "Oh no! You must leave! She'll be so angry with me." "What did you do?" "I gave you one of her spendiferous's pills." "What kind of pill?" "It was Ben's actually. He had them to keep her down. She always gets rid of them. I mistook them for your painkillers. She is going to kill me." "Again. What will it do to me?" "I'm not sure. I'm such a bad minion. The worst servant in the world." "Oh no." Xander winced as he felt his body ripple. Literally. "This is not good." He felt himself slipping and then he melted. "And now I'm Alex Mack." He stayed for a minute on the floor trying to absorb everything. He watched Glory come back in the room. "Xander. Where are you?" She looked around and tripped slightly. He glooped his way under the bed and waited until she sat down. He watched some minions come in. She yelled at them. Then when she turned he glided out and down the stairs. "I'm free. I'm free!" Xander exclaimed to himself. "I wonder what else I can do. Wait. You have to get home Xander. Tell them you're ok." He arrived at the Magic Shop which was headquarters. The lights were still on. He paused in front of the door and realized he couldn't open it. He panicked for a moment that he was stuck but then felt himself becoming human again. And very naked. "Forgot about that part." He shifted his hands and knocked on the door. "We're all family." "Xander? Everyone! Xander's back!..And he's naked!" Xander felt himself turning red as Willow called to the others. "How did you get free...and naked?" Anya hurried over and shielded him, along with slipping him a robe. (They kept the robes for wiccans. Some covens liked them.) He wrapped it around him and took a deep breath. "After being abused by the drunken Gory I asked for a painkiller. The dumb minion slipped me this pill that essentially made me Alex Mack. And I melted and came here." "So you have superpowers? That's so cool." "Dawn? You're back. Woah. Um yeah." Xander pulled the robe a little tighter. "You didn't find anything about Buffy?" "Not yet." Their faces fell. "We have no clue. We've been searching for them but we're doing it the wrong way. There has to be something we're missing." Chapter 11