Chapter 8: In Which It is a Mess "Anya. And someone else. I haven't seen Spike. Or Dawn." "I thought Buffy was-" "This isn't Buffy. It's a robot." "I didn't know they could make robots that well." Jonathan looked closely at the Buffy. "Hello. I'm Buffy." "I"m Jonathan." "Hello, Jonathan." It smiled. "You sure it isn't Buffy acting weird?" "Yup." "We found Dawn. You can come home with us." "Ok. But I shouldn't look for Spike? I mean I'm sure he's in trouble." "No. You should come home with us." "Yeah. You should go home. There's bad things out at night." A nasty voice said. "Vampires." Anya moaned. The trio of vampires appeared from the shadows and circled like sharks. "I'll stake them because I'm the vampire slayer," the bot announced. "Go for it." Anya pulled out an extra stake just in case. "Why do I come near you guys? You're always in danger. I want to go home." Jonathan grimaced. "Go. Gladly. With my blessing." Anya didn't really like him. He wasn't popular and he never helped. He was a waste of human space. The Buffybot went forward and the vampires attacked. They weren't too bright to attack a slayer, even a copy of one. She finished them off but she suffered some severe wounds which caused her to short circuit again. "Bye." Jonathan waved. "Oh no you don't. You're going to help." "You said I could go." "After we bring this home. We can't leave it here." He gave in and helped her hoist the bot up. It wasn't very heavy because it was mostly full of circuits. At Glory's Apartment... Xander had given up hope. He wasn't getting out of there. Not while chained to Glory's bed with Barry Manilow playing. The Goddess had just sent the minions out and was slipping off her shoes, while she continued her ranting. "This is the worst kind of torture. They had to know I'd break out someday and want my own life. Why couldn't I have more beautiful minions? You can't tell the difference between the males and females. That's a crime. Maybe you could be my minion. But you're to fragile." "No. You see I'm kind of Dracula's minion. We would clash. It would be wrong of me." "I could kill Dracula. Not a problem. I like this plan more and more. Of course I might have to suck the yummy goodness from your brain." "We said no brain sucking!" Xander pulled on the chains. "Or else I won't... perform." "Ok. Sh. Itty bitty human. Let's consummate, then we can talk." She crawled onto the bed, straddling him. She bent down and kissed him. He turned his head side to side. "No kissing. That's to personal." "You're not fun." She slapped him, almost breaking his neck. "Ow!" "Oh. I'm sorry." She kissed his cheek. "It's alright. Continue." She yanked at his pants. He closed his eyes. He felt her flesh against his. He prayed. Then she pulled back and fell off the bed. He dared to open his eyes. "Damn you! You ruin everything." She pulled on her hair. Xander watched in amusement. Every time she talked about Ben he didn't remember. It was a strange thing they had. Things went fuzzy and Xander found himself being freed by a drunken Ben. "Thank you. How did you get here?" "I heard screaming as I walked by. You should go. Now." Ben pushed him towards the door but then he was stopped. "Oh no you don't." "Huh?" Xander looked around for Ben. His head hurt. Glory was standing there. "What did you do to Ben?" "Ben's fine. I sent him home." she grabbed his bleeding wrist and dragged him towards the bed. "Stay where I put you." She thrust him down. He hit his head on the bed post and was once blissfully happy to be passing out. Chapter 9