Till My Body Is Dust (The Last Day)
Part 1
     In that moment he wanted to kill them all. All the humans who were moaning and convulsing. All brain
dead and helpless. What he felt like. They had all watched the Slayer fall gracefully from the sky, murmuring in
wonder. He on the other hand was tormented. He tried to get up but the pain that invaded his body refused to let
him. 
     He knew she was gone the moment she left the platform, disappeared into the portal but it didn't help.
Her body lay on the wooden crates lifeless. All around the hell beasts disappeared. Not that he had really noticed
then when he was focused on her. 
     The instant grief was almost tangible. He couldn't look at her. She wasn't broken just bled. She was a
beautiful sleeping beauty waiting for her prince to wake her up. He had to believe it. Because if he didn't... then his
reason for living would be gone. 
     He loved her sister but he hated her at that moment. She stood for the death of his slayer. She was
supposed to die. But then there she was. She staggered towards them blood dripping down her ripped dress. Tears
ran down her face.
     "I tried to stop her. I know it was my fault." she looked at Spike. She knew what he was thinking. 
     "No Dawn-" Willow started with a trembling voice. 
     "Is Glory?..."
     "Yes." Giles said. 
     "Oh god Buffy. "She saw the body which Giles had been standing in front of, trying to shield her from.
She ran and fell over it.  Spike forced himself to look. There was not one drop of blood on her white shirt. She
indeed was Snow White. Or maybe Aurora. He couldn't keep all those damn princesses straight. 
     Spike wasn't mad anymore. How could he be if he was going to watch out for her? It was his last promise
to Buffy and he intended to keep it. He stepped towards Dawn and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at
him. "Oh Spike."
     "There, there little bit." He knew she saw the tear stands on his face but he didn't mind. 
     "Am I dead?" They turned to Anya who was waking up in Xander's arms.
     "No...Buffy is."
     "Why's Buffy dead?  Why's Dawn alive?"
     "Shut up Anya."  Spike snapped.
     "I don't understand." She said waveringly.
     "They share blood. She used hers to close the portal instead of Dawn. She's still the key." Giles explained
slowly.   
     "She's a hero like in your comic books right Xander?"
     "Yeah. She is." Xander gave a small smile. Spike leaned down slowly and gently picked up Buffy's body.
It was light as a feather, all the blood gone. Giles hurried forward and took it away roughly. Then he marched
forward.
     "We'll want to bury her as soon as possible. The less the hellmouth denizens know the safer we'll all be."
Giles walked quickly. Spike could taste the sun coming up. He fell in line as they paraded back towards the
residential part of town and the mortuary. 
     "They'll dance on her grave. We can't have that." Spike said. They couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic.
"We're gonna keep fighting aren't we? I'm not stopping cos the slayer's dead. Don't mean a thing. It's still our
fight." Giles barely paused to acknowledge Spike's brave vow. Willow smiled at him.
     "I'll fight. For Buffy."
     "Me too." Tara and Xander chimed in. 
     "Giles?"
     "I don't know." As Spike passed the hell tower he had a fierce urge to destroy it. The hammer lay nearby.
He grabbed it and swung with all his might. The steel tower creaked. 
     "Look out!" Willow warned. They scattered and reformed a few hundred feet away to watch it topple.
Spike paused to watch but Dawn tugged on him. He unfroze and let her pull him away. He wanted to die there with
it. 
     "I'm coming little bit. Don't you worry about old Spike."
     "I have too. You're all I have left." He was a little touched and annoyed. A vampire daddy. How pathetic.
But he felt kind of proud too. The humanity left in him thrummed with purpose. 
     ‘Protect her Spike.'
     ‘If it's the last thing I do.' So be it. If it was the last thing he did. Everyone scattered as they arrived. Giles
wanted Dawn to be taken home. He was going to the morgue with the body. They were to meet back there later.
The funeral would be the next day if he could get it. 
     "She's not gone for good. Angel came back." Dawn was saying as they entered the Summers' house. Not
a moment to soon. The sun began it's morning ascension into the sky as they closed the door. "I think it's better
that mom died first. I don't think she could handle it. We'll find a way to bring her back won't we? We brought
mom back. I know we did." 
     "Be quiet Dawn. He said tiredly. "Go upstairs. Go to sleep."
     "I can't sleep." He followed her upstairs and stayed while she they bandaged her and she laid down. She
was soon fast asleep. Spike entered Joyce's adjoining room and laid down on the bed. He closed his eyes breathing
in the scent of Summers. He missed Joyce. She was always kind to him. She always gave him hot chocolate and
scones. Spike fell asleep and found himself in a strange dream world..

Part 2
     He was in an endless library. The shelves stretched upwards beyond his sight. All around him were books.
He twisted and turned but the row seemed to have no end. From the ground up popped a person. He jumped back
surprised. "Hello. Something I can help you with? Something along the lines of The Key?" He said in a thick Irish
accent. Spike nodded. 
     "Come along." The guy snapped his fingers and they were hurtled to another aisle of books. The man
tapped a book and it fell into his hands. "Try this." The cover had the words Ish Ni embossed on the ancient
leather. He handed Spike the book and ran his fingers through his black hair. 
     "Where am I?"
     "A library. Isn't it obvious?" He disappeared before Spike could respond. He opened the book. It was in a
demonic language he didn't recognize. But he found as he read over the first few pages he understood them
anyway. It was hard and he still didn't understand it very well. It talked about the parts of the Slayer and the portal
and Dawn. It mentioned something of a life suspension. He knew the Oracle of The Dawn had to be Dawn but he
didn't understand what it meant. He woke up then. 
     Groggily Spike's senses registered the screaming in the next room. He jumped off the bed and raced into
Dawn's room. Upon finding nothing he was a little disappointed. "What's wrong?"
     "I had a nightmare. But it's ok. I'm not scared. I was just surprised. She's really gone isn't she?"
     "For now." He made a move to leave but she whimpered. He sat down in a chair. "Go to sleep. Those cuts
need to heal."  When she fell asleep he got up and padded around the upstairs. He went into Buffy's room and
reached for the journal that lay forgotten on the night stand. It was almost as if she had left it there on purpose. She
didn't though. Couldn't have known. Yet it made him wonder.
     He sat down and held it, closed for a few minutes before opening it. He looked at the date. The night he
had told her he loved her. Did he dare know what she secretly thought? Damn right he did! He read. ‘Spike said he
loved me. He tied me up along side the queen of insane. What the hell. I hate him. He made a damn shrine to me.
Why's he got to be so weird? He's a vampire without a soul .What gives?' He flipped further in. He wanted to
know the reason for the kiss. Oh that kiss. If he could keep one memory of her it would be that. Her leaning in
earnestly and kissing him softly and then looking at him briefly before walking away like a dream. 
     He cursed himself for getting all emotional over a little kiss but still he read on. ‘What was I thinking?
Was I in my right mind? I kissed Spike. No one can ever know except you me and him. I'll pound him if he ever
tells.' Spike almost closed it but something a few lines down caught his eye. ‘The sex bot was gross and all but the
lengths he went to for us. He had nothing to gain and everything to lose. It makes me so confused when I think
about it. He can tell me he loves me and I won't believe him and I'll hate him but when he does stuff like that I
want to love him back. I think that's why I kissed him. But if he ever found out I thought... he has an ego worse
than an Oscar winning actor!' 
     He almost felt a heartbeat for a moment. He felt guilty for hating Dawn. They shared blood. She was
partly Buffy. Did that make him love her too? He decided it did. He went downstairs and read a book while he
waited for night to come again all the while thinking about Buffy. 
     Later on Dawn came down and he attempted to fix her a tv dinner. It slightly burned but it was edible. She
didn't mind. She was as eager as him to get to the morgue and get everything over with. Also he wanted to share
his information with Willow. Every time he looked at Dawn he was bursting to tell her but he didn't want to get
her hopes up. After all he didn't know very much. He had a vague idea that the book of Ish Ni had the key to
bringing Buffy back.
     Finally Dawn couldn't stand it anymore and Spike conceded to let her drag him out into the early summer
evening.  She marched him to the hospital. He was amazed at how well she was holding up. But whenever he
glanced at her out of the corner of his eye he saw her trembling lip. They arrived at the hospital and went to the
morgue. Everyone was there like they had been there all day. They were all sitting around staring at the ground.
     "Hey mates." Spike said to get their attention. They looked up at him. "I may have some hope." 
     "What are you talking about?" Xander said suspiciously.
     "The book of Ish Ni. It explains it all. I think. I mean we do some mumbo jumbo and it brings her back."
     "Don't joke like that Spike." Giles grabbed his collar and pulled him onto his tiptoes. For an older man he
was quite strong. 
     "What? Haven't you heard of it? I thought you knew them all. We can bring her back. I know it." He
sounded more desperate at the end than he would have liked. But he wasn't sarcastic like Giles had thought he
was. Confused he lowered Spike. "I saw it in my dream."
     "A dream. Why do I bother?" Giles shoved him away. Dawn looked at Spike surprised. He hadn't told
her. "She's dead Spike. So go back to being evil. She won't love you. She can't. You have no reason to be
anymore."
     "Maybe I do. You don't know me anymore. All you bloody care about is the Hellmouth. Make sure the
Hellmouth is protected. If you loved her you would believe me." There he said it. He felt the fist connect with his
jaw and he went down. But hands were there to help him up. He looked into Willow's puffy eyes with a
questioning look in his own. 
     "Please let go of it Spike. Bringing her back would only be bad."
     "She's not dead. "He said through grinding teeth. "She was sent to another universe."
     "I don't want to hear it." Giles said glaring at him. "We're burying her tomorrow afternoon. We don't
want the vampires to know before the next Slayer starts."
     "Quick to bury. Quick to forget." Spike stood up and shook himself out. 
     "Shut up!" Xander yelled standing to Giles back. "You have no place saying all that."
     "No? Remember I risked life and limb also? I was right by her side. More than I could say for any of you.
You weren't up there. You didn't feel the cold metal and the whipping winds at your back. You didn't feel the
fear...You didn't fall." He shied away from Willow's comforting hand. "You don't need a beating heart to have it
broken. It's still there." He snarled trying to recover himself. Trying to keep himself from falling apart. He held
onto the meager scrapes of life and even those he was losing. 
     "I have more to say." Spike continued when he saw Giles about to comment. "It isn't enough for you
people for me to help. You're defined by your black and white walls however curved they may be. Angel made
holes in them but I'm knocking them down. You can't handle that. I'm a vampire but I'm also more. Get over
yourselves." 
     "The funeral will be tomorrow. In the daylight. Where you can't go. Where the dead body of Buffy will be
buried." 
     "Giles...Spike...no more." Willow pleaded. Tara had edged closer to Willow the whole time. As they stood
now it was Giles, Xander and the slightly beaten Anya facing off against Spike, the Key and the witches. 
     "You have to help me Willow." Spike said quietly. 
     "I'll do what I can. I think Buffy trusted you. I should too." 
     "There's nothing more you can do tonight. I bid you all come back tomorrow." They looked to the
autopsist, as he broke the tension. 
     "Willow?" Giles looked to her as he pulled back.
     "I can't..."
     "Goodnight." He nodded to her and regressed with Xander ands Anya. She looked down at her feet and
followed Dawn out.
      
Part 3
     "You're going to go over this again. Slowly and then you're going to sleep again and see if you find
anything." Willow paced on front of Spike. He was sitting on the couch between Tara and Dawn.
     "If any of this is a joke for your amusement you'll be very sorry. Understand?" He nodded. He knew the
kind of witch she was. She wasn't afraid to use her powers when it came to the ones she loved. "Good then.
Begin."
     "I fell asleep. I was in this endless library. This guy came. He seemed familiar. I might have met him in
LA or something once. He showed me the book. It was in this language I didn't know but as I read I understood.
Then I woke up."
     "And you didn't find anything on it online?" Tara shook her head no. 
     "Hmm. Well try to sleep again. We have to get that information. Here's a pen and paper." 
     "Am I a damn secretary? You do it. I'm the one having vision dreams." He saw Willow's look. "Oh all
right." He sat down again with the writing tools and closed his eyes. The others moved to give him room. 
     "Come on." Willow motioned Tara and Dawn into the kitchen. They could hear Spike's stomach
rumbling. He probably hadn't eaten in days. Willow felt a little bad. A picture of Buffy and Joyce stared down at
them from the wall as they sat to tea.
     "Do you think Spike's telling the truth? We're putting a lot on the line here. We went against Giles." She
asked Tara worriedly. 
     "I think he is." Tara said with a thin smile. "He really loves Buffy." 
     Spike fell asleep and found himself in the endless library again. Someone new was there to help him. He
knew who this person was though.
     "I'm awful sorry that Dru killed you." Spike said nervously to Kendra.
     "Tis not important now. You are here for the book? Getting Buffy back is important."
     "How come I can't find this book in our world?" Spike asked as the aisle melted into another.
     "It doesn't exist. Only for you. You're her only hope. It was made for this and this alone." 
     "I'm her only hope. I don't like the sound of that."
     "Here you go." she gave him the book. He sat down on a stool that appeared and began reading. Kendra
disappeared like Doyle had. As he read he began to understand it. It told of Dawn's history and why she was given
to Buffy. It was slow going. 
     He found an intriguing passage that completely absorbed his attention. It explained why Buffy was the one
who had to go into the portal. Dawn would have died and any other mortal would have been stuck in a hell type
limbo but Buffy was different. She was transported. At least her soul was. By using the blood of the key, the living
and the dead who were there when she died they could guide her soul back. But it didn't guarantee she'd be the
same exactly. But it would still be her. 
     He copied down the ritual and Kendra reappeared. "Do you have what you need?"
     "I think I do."
     "Goodbye then." Spike woke up. Pieces of paper fluttered all over the floor. His hand ached.  He went into
the kitchen. Willow and Tara were asleep at the table. He must have been out a long while.  
     "Wake up girlies." He slammed his fist on the table. They woke with a start.
     "Spike? You were working so hard in your sleep. Did you get all the information?"
     "I think so. I need help sorting out the paper." They got up and went back into the livingroom. Willow
shut the shades and they began organizing the notes. 
     "Wow. Did you copy the whole book?"
     "How should I know? I was sleeping?"  She ignored him. 
     "Should we call Mr Summers? I know he didn't come for Joyce...but his own daughter?" 
     "He's bad. Forget about him."
     "Dawny." Willow said nervously. 
     "I'm not upset over dad Willow. He's just doesn't know how to raise kids."
     "We should tell Angel." Willow's words hung in the air. "I mean ya know just in case she doesn't...and
he should know anyway."
     "No one's arguing. Go tell soddin' Peaches. Remind him that he wasn't here to fight the damn goddess."
Spike put the pile of papers on the coffee table disgusted. "I mean it."
     "I'll go after the funeral." The funeral. Spike remembered. It was going to be held soon.
     "Say goodbye to her for me...for now." Spike said going into the kitchen.
     "We'll bring you back some blood before I go." Willow offered heading to the door. 
     "When's the next full moon?"
     "Tomorrow night starts the cycle." 
     "We do it then." He shuffled his notes.
     "But we don't have enough time. There's not enough time."
     "There is. Don't worry. I'll start preparations. Get to the funeral." He nodded firmly. She hurried out
before she could stop herself with What If's? 
     True to her word they came back with blood but Willow had left for LA. Tara set out to made Dawn a real
dinner. She stammered on about this and that until Spike made her tell him what Giles and the others had said at
the funeral.
     "They- they talked about her being dead for good. From ashes to ashes. They don't believe. They don't
have the magic inside them. Not even Giles."
     "No?" He raised his brow. 
     "No." She was flat and serious. No flawed speech. "You ca- can't tell them I told you."
     "Your secret affirmations are safe with me." He slurped some of the blood from the container. A little
trickled down his chin. "Do I?" 
     "Maybe. I can't tell yet." He smiled, satisfied and finished. His stomach quieted as it was filled with the
cool butcher's blood. They put Dawn to bed after dinner. She was to tired and emotionally raw to argue. Tara and
Spike sat across from each other playing cards while they waited for Willow to return. 

Part 4
     She came back in the middle of the night and she wasn't alone. When Spike opened the door he came
face to face with Angel. "Spike?"
     "Oh. Did I forget to mention that he's good now?" Angel morphed and grabbed Spike. He pulled him
close.
     "Is he? He got a soul too?"
     "No. He's got a chip in his head. He tried to save Buffy."
     "I bet he did." Angel shoved him back into the stairs. Spike morphed and hissed. 
     "He's going to bring her back."
     "Him? He can't do anything right. She's dead. He's not bringing her back. You showed me the grave
Willow. I simply can't believe it."
     "Believe it. You should have more faith being brought back from hell yourself." Spike changed back. He
eyed Angel.
     "I wasn't buried. She's buried. She's not a vampire." Angel shook his head. He was on the verge of
crying. Spike relished it. 
     "She kissed me." Spike said shoving the last stake into Angel. Angel punched him. 
     "She wouldn't kiss you. Ever. You don't have a soul."
     "Scares you doesn't it?" Spike stood up laughing hysterically. "Just because you were kissing her a few
months ago Peaches don't mean nothing. You're on my turf now. So get in or get out."
     "She's dead. Stop defiling her goodness with your filth." Angel spun on his heels.
     "Angel please. Why can't you believe?" 
     "Willow I wish I could. But right now...it's to painful...Good luck." He disappeared back to his car.
     "Good job Spike."
     "He wasn't there. He doesn't deserve it."
     "And he doesn't deserve your insults. He's above them." She left Spike in the doorway. The door hung
open letting in moths and mosquitoes. What did he care? 
     He got the rituals ready. They didn't talk much. Everything was strained. They were grieving. Some guy
from the bank dropped by the next day. Willow was so disgusted she let Spike drop kick his ass out when he began
talking about selling the house. Social services came by too. That Willow handled with magic convincing the
woman that she was Dawn's grandmother come to take care of her.
     All in all it was a rough day and everyone was feeling stressed out when it was time to start the ritual.
They gathered in Buffy's bedroom the place where her spirit would most easily be called. Spike had all his notes
scattered around him as they lit candles. Dawn was excited to be up so late. "You all understand you will be called
on for blood." Spike warned as he put the goblet on the floor. 
     "Except Tara because she's the anchor."
     "Right." There was a knock at the window. It was Angel. Willow hurried over and let him in. 
     "Angel?"
     "I want to help."
     "Fraid you can't mate. Only people there can be involved. You'll screw it up." Spike said smugly. Angel
looked at Willow hopefully.
     "He's right. I'm sorry. But you can wait outside for morale support. I mean you believe now right?"
     "I'm not sure." He admitted.
     "Then it's best you go."
     "I'm sorry."
     "It's alright." She laid her hand on his arm and they looked at each other.
     "Good luck."
     "Thanks." He disappeared back into the night. She sat down. "Why do you always have to act so mean?"
     "1 I'm a demon and 2. We're competing for the same girl. Surprised you don't understand Red. I mean
what if I start hitting on your lover girl." He looked at Tara and grimaced. "Probably wouldn't happen though."
     "Let's just get this done." Willow shook herself out. Spike pulled a piece of paper into his lap and held up
a knife.
     "Ish Ni man gofa del onico esluba wondena sanatron adle ickse serneck sodelnestrum...here is her life
force, here we may draw her, here she may be reborn." Spike looked at Dawn who held out her hand over the cup.
She drew in a sharp breath as Spike pulled the knife across her palm lacerating it so blood trickled into the cup.
She could see he was straining to not morph. The scent filled his nose. "The blood of the key."
     Willow held out her hand and Spike cut it. "The blood of the living." He held out his own. "The blood of
the dead." Their blood met and swirled going down into the cup. They touched. It swirled, a mixture of reds.
"Draw her back here. Let her become!" They felt the blood seep out faster, like it was being pulled. 
     A wind started up, like a tornado it grew closer to the center of the room, over the cup. Then it began to
draw itself upwards, leaving flecks of blood all over the room, something was inside of it. 

Part 5
     Buffy appeared. When the magic tornado was done it exploded over her head. Buffy ducked to keep from
getting set aflame. She looked around. Her sister, her best friend, and her mortal enemy were lying on the ground
milk white and unconscious. Spike's eyes fluttered. "Buffy?" He sank back. She looked around and picked up
Willow and Dawn and zipped away. 
     She didn't realize at the moment what she was doing. That she was moving with unearthly quickness. She
had taken Glorificus' place as a goddess. She was back at the house within the blink of an eye. She shook Spike.
He moaned. "You. You're Buffy. You're alive...you're alive!" He tried to stand up. She had to brace him. 
     "You ok?"
     "I saved you. I did it. Not Willow!"
     "What? You?"
     "Yes. Ask her. Kendra told me. Giles, and Xander and Anya they didn't believe." She smashed her lips
onto his. He was a little alarmed. 
     "I thought I was trapped for good." She drew back searching his eyes. "But you believed?" 
     "I never lost faith. I always knew you weren't dead. Even the nancy boy didn't believe."  
     "What?"
     "Ow! Godly strength Buffy."
     "Angel. Now. Tell me."
     "Willow told him. He wasn't there Buffy. He couldn't participate. He wouldn't even believe. And after he
was brought back too. A shame isn't it?"
     "Shut up Spike." 
     "Fine. Take his side. Your welcome ya know."
     "Thank you ok. What else do you want?"
     "A little respect. I believed. He has a soul and I didn't. Doesn't that couldn't for anything with you
people?"  
     "It does Spike." Buffy sighed. She looked at him after she had been turned away. Tears were in her eyes.
"And hey it might even make me like you, but we both know that would never work."
     "I should leave Sunnydale." He shook his head. "It's killing me. So I'm glad your back. Don't worry
about old spike ruining your life anymore. He's gone. Spike ran past her. She waited a moment then trailed, not
bothering with her godly speed. He flung open the door. Angel was outside.
     "What do you want? Thought you'd left?"
     "I had. I was patrolling and I saw something fly up into the sky. Figured it came from here...Buffy?"
     "Angel!" she ran to him and knocked him down. "I'm a goddess." She explained.
     "I've been away a long time haven't I?" He wasn't as happy as he had seemed a moment ago. They looked
at each other. "I didn't believe. Spike did but I didn't. I don't know how to apologize. I feel like I've committed
treason against you." He didn't believe. It hurt. A lot. It was something they had to face. She hadn't believed he
would come back. But then again there wasn't a spell to bring him back from hell then either.
     "They told me they could bring you back and I refused to believe it. Maybe because it hurt too much." It
was like he read her mind. "Goodbye Buffy. I love you."
     "I love you too." They caressed each other's faces for a moment. Then he left. She turned. Spike was
behind her. He wasn't wearing his usual smug expression. He looked like he thought he had lost. Like she was
going to go off with Angel. She punched him in her frustration. He went down and didn't get up.
     "Come on Spike. Get up."
     "This isn't the old days. That hurts ya know." He said sickly. She wondered for a moment if she really
had hurt him. She bent down. He punched her back.
     "You're a goddess now. I can hurt you." He realized. She got ready to punch him again. "Doesn't mean I
will. I still love you." He stood up. "They're breakable Buffy. I'm not. I can't lose my soul and I'm not mortal.
Can't you give me a chance?" She helped him up. 
     "You saved my life. I suppose I should." She leaned over and kissed him again. God was he lucky. He
couldn't believe it. Why? She was instigating it. "As long as I can still punch you." 
     "That's how it's always been hasn't it?" He smirked feeling a bit more like himself. Then he softened for
a moment. "Could you ever love me?"
     "Someday. Maybe someday." She smiled. In that moment they were close. Closer than 2 people could be.
They shared a bond from beyond the grave, from beyond the dimensions of time and space.