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  • "He's kinda like a puppy"-describing Chad
  • "Nice tush, Rochester"
  • "I had braces when I was 14, but I could always use them again......When I walk down the streets, I do notice the younger girls seem to appreciate it...rrow!"-on his braces
  • "I don't floss 'em. I pick 'em. There's a difference."
  • "I can't be perfect everytime out! I'm not Ozzy Ozborne!"
  • "How much is a buttload?"
  • "I used to play in this heavy-metal band called Pegasus. PEGASUS! But we couldn't afford instruments, ya know, so we had to sing our songs a capella." - - - Doug Linus