Crazy
MARIA: Is that so hard?
MICHAEL: What?
MARIA: Acting like a real couple: kissing, arms around each other, shoulders..actually excited to see one another.
MICHAEL: Overrated.
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LIZ: Maria, would you mind?
MARIA: Go ahead.
LIZ: Thank you.
MARIA: Live the life I so desperately want.
MICHAEL: Kinda immature, really.
MARIA: Really?
MICHAEL: Just a couple of horndogs looking for a place to make out. I mean, we don't need that. We got my apartment, you know?
ISABEL: I guess I'll just have the special.
MARIA & MICHAEL: We're closing early.
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LIZ: Do you mind missing the movie?
MAX: I heard it got bad reviews.
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[Michael and Maria making out]
MICHAEL: Maria...Maria...Maria
MARIA: Michael...oh, Michael...Max
MICHAEL: What?
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ALEX: Would that, you know, be alien normal or just plain "we're the subjects of the FBI manhunt" normal?
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ALEX: So, you've noticed them too, huh?
ISABEL: It's kinda hard not to with all the face sucking going on.
ALEX: Yeah, listen, Isabel, I've been thinking. Face sucking aside, it'd be kinda nice to have someone to hang out with, one-on-one, you know. Someone who you understand, share common bond with, like friend, but...
TESS: Is this seat taken?
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MICHAEL: So, now she says what we've got is not good enough. She wants more.
MAX: You mean like...
MICHAEL: No, if that's what she wanted, would I be here talking to you? She wants the romance thing, the thing that you and Liz got.
MAX: Is that what you want?
MICHAEL: I just wanna make her happy. And you're gonna tell me how to do it.
MAX: It's not like there's a handbook.
MICHAEL: I'm serious, Max, things are getting frosty. She went to the French Club meeting today instead of meeting me in the eraser room. The French Club. What the hell is that?
MAX: All right, romantic. When you're with her, act like she's like the only girl in the room.
MICHAEL: She's usually the only other person in the room.
MAX: It's a good start. Uhm, start taking her out...some place nice. And surprises, they love surprises, like you know, little things, like...uh..a note in her locker or a flower in the middle of the day.
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MICHAEL: Who the hell are you?
ISABEL: God Michael could you be anymore rude?
TESS: Actually it's kinda refreshing.
ISABEL: Soda?
TESS: Yeah don't forget the extra sugar.
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MAX: She's a stranger, Isabel.
ISABEL: Well, it's not like I'm gonna fall in love with her and tell her our secret and compromise our very existence.
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MARIA: Hey, gidget, you got some flowers from moondogie.
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LIZ: Where have you been all of this time?
TOPOLSKY: To hell.
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TOPOLSKY: All 6 of your names are on that list.
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Liz: No, Michael, it's not 3 and 3 anymore. It's the 6 of us now. We have to start making our decisions that way.
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MARIA: If you want me, you have to earn me. That's how a relationship works.
MICHAEL: No, Maria, that's how boy scouts merit badges work.
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ALEX: You think I'm being weak because I don't want anything bad to happen to you? I mean, to us...to all of us?
ISABEL: You really do wanna protect me, don't you?
ALEX: I'd do anything.
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ALEX: You two have plans?
TESS: Girls' night.
ALEX: I guess I've got the wrong hormones for that.
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MICHAEL: You know, this whole dating thing really bites.
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MICHAEL: What I wanna know is, if I'm such a looser, then why do you wanna be with me?
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TOPOLSKY: We are all going to die and it's not gonna be pleasant. We only have one chance.
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MICHAEL: If anything happens, I mean, to me, I just want you to know that...
MARIA: I know.
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MARIA: I'm going with you.
MICHAEL: No you are not. Your staying here.
MARIA: Hello, Sheriff yeah I'd like to report a stolen vehicle. _______________________________________________________
MARIA: Michael, it's a mistake and if you're too stupid not to protect yourself, I'm gonna have to do it for you.
MICHAEL: This is not your decision to make, It's mine!
MARIA: It's not just about you! What you do affects me. That's how relatioships work and whether you like it or not, we're in the relationship. So, go ahead and just hate me, but I'm not gonna let you get hurt. I care about you too much.
MICHAEL: Maria, I've been waiting for this my whole life.
MARIA: So have I.
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MICHAEL: Maria go!
MARIA: I'm not leaving you. _______________________________________________________
MAX: Give it to me.
MICHAEL: No.
MAX: We trusted you with it and you blew it.
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MICHAEL: You hit me? YOU hit me. You bastard!
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MAX: Great going Michael.
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