~ *Something that should be a bumper sticker*: GOD MADE US SISTERS, PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
~A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills.. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't give a shit.
~How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
~What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale? A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairy tale begins "'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."
~I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited
~Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! - IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@*$ #@!... HOUSE! I'm sorry...what did you ask me?
~If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
"Blessed are those who mock themselves, for they shall cease to be amused" -Unknown
~Uh oh, you'd better watch out- they might take you to the Sane Assylum!!
~
They're HERE.
~FROM THE STAR TREK:VOYAGER EPISODE: "FUTURE'S END, PART 2":
"God in heaven help us. . ."
"Divine intervention is unlikely."
~
HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAY!!! Mighty Mouse is on his way!!
~I am the Frito Bandito!
~Here are some of my phones: 
~
All I have to say to that: "Just Shoot me!"
~THIS IS ANGIE'S ONE TRUE LOVE
THIS IS ANGIE'S ONE TRUE LOVE CROSSDRESSING
ANY QUESTIONS?
~
-See my other husband? He's speaking to me. (I live in the phone. . .)
~"You are such a dirty bird!"
"The Dirty Bird catches the worm. . ."
~Why was Peter picking peppers anyway? Maybe he wasn't! Why was he in the bushes? Whoa. . .Peter was in the bushes? With who? Certainly not ME. . .
~My mind has deleted the number seven. Now, there are either 6.9 days of the week or 8. Whatever. You see, it is a number motif, of the seven deadly sins. . . Sorry, I've been in English too long. . .
~No soup for you! I am the original Soup Nazi! Ha ha ha!!!
~I am a v-ussian terrorist and I have vcome to eat your potatoes!
~Is it me, or are we being watched? 
nugDag 'oH puchpa "e', (This means "where's the bathroom?" in Klingon) Here's the pronunciation= [nook-dak okh pooch-pa 'eh]
~I'm sorry Greg, but you know we all have to mentally mock you. Hell, let's mock you outloud! This, ladies and gentlemen. . .is Greg's world! Let's all laugh at him.
~"Weird. . .is part of the job." - me (Captin Katheryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager, Episode: Deadlock)
~Is it me, or does time fly? 
~You saw my hotties with naughty bodies, right? Well, let me scare you now. . . 
Heh heh heh. . .
~This is what the blair witch looks like on her days off: 
~And so I figured, "Sure, it's a perfect time to start my burrito!"
~Is anyone really here? (Hint: This question is not meant to be answered)
~How do you know if your weird?
~It's a bicycle. No, it's a parking meter. No, it's Random Guy! RANDOM GUY!!!! Du du du du!. . .
~Does Lucky, the Tiger, Cap'N Crunch, Snap, Crackle,and Pop, Coca (the monkey), or Fred Flinston and Barnie Rubble influence anyone's lives?
~Do Moo Cows really moo at noon? Why not now? Why not at 6:24 and 33 seconds? WHY?! 
~You made me open the refridgerator again!!! WHY?
~"Dum de dum te tum. . . Where's the cheese?" -Crazy Ed's Son (Maniac Mansion)
~"Uh-oh! They're gonna put me in a little round room with padded white walls and a padded white celling and a padded white floor and tell me to go sit in the corner. Then they are gonna put a white jacket on me with sleeves that attach in the back and on the door of the little white room they'll put a little black and white sign that says: CRAZY, DO NOT ENTER. Uh-oh." - Jamey
~"I am the terror that flaps in the night, I am the ingrown toenail in your party pumps. I am Darkwing Duck!"
~Is the matrix REAL? I mean, c'mon. Who would think something like THAT? (shut up)
~"We think we know, but do we know what we think?"
~"Let's all go to the loby, let's all go to the lobby!" - 
~Time Changes are not cool.-Especially when you LOSE an hour. One more hour that you could have slept, could have had QUALITY nintendo time, or could have just simply stared at the celling. But me, I would have been dreaming up more dreams to put on this webpage!
~I love that song, you know, that ONE song. . .
~". . .the stuff, you know, the STUFF about the things. . ." -Angie
~It wasn't me. You can't prove it!
~It would suck to live in a pine tree. A hammock, though. . .
~One thing I never plan on doing in my life, is eating a rock.
~Mickey is NOT DEAD! See! ---> 
~Alan is Nala backwards
~Wanna know something creepy? Evil is live backwards. Ahh!
~
Why can't they just stay in the closet and keep the door shut? Why do they keep opening it?!?! M-m-m-momm-mommy. . .
