Anyways, this will be my first try at a meaningful/deep kind of story. (Like that first short story that I did, gosh, I can't even remember the name!! Someone help me!) The cast will be of various actors that I will name along the way. Obviously it cannot miss Vivian Leung, she will be the main person.
This is really a dedication to a friend of mine named Kathy, who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. She's really given me the reason for life, because you have to continue to live even when life lets you down. You find a strength in someone or something that you are passionate about and you use that strength to fight back. I hope this story will give you a new motivation in life.
As you can tell by the Title, this will be probably a sad story. *I hope Bon's reading this...* =D Odie, you've got a new project!! My lil Flower, I'll expect full concentration on this story!! hahaa j/k Noy/Sky-I'll see you guys in the comments area. Suki, I hope you'll be here to read some too!! Guess who'll be in here?? lol..hahaa
NiteDream, Starglazer, Kristy, Vivian, Ying Ying, Madame Marie and for anyone else that I missed, Im hope you'll be joining me very soon!! =) Okay, here's the list of cast, just as a teaser. I will start very soon!! There is no specific order of the cast.
Vivian Leung
Louis Koo
Nick Cheung
Julian Cheung
Steven Ma
Joyce Tang
Kenix Kwok
Flora Chan
Gallen Lo
Benny Chan
Dicky Cheung
Ruby Lin
Whew! I hope that I will be able to add all those people into this story!! Well, wish me luck!! =D
Chapter 1
Virginia Chan – Vivian Leung
Tracy Wong – Kenix Kwok
Freddie Lam – Nick Cheung
‘Dear Jeff,
Another day at work. The usual orphan, lost her parents at the age of four, boyfriend left her, doesn’t have a job or a place to stay, living on the streets with the rats. So what else is new? Its always interesting at the suicidal department isn’t it? It’s a wonder I haven’t turned suicidal from working there so long. 6 years already, wow, how time flies when you’re having fun huh? Okay, enough with the sarcasm. My new patient’s name is Tracy, I’ve always liked that name you know. But she was such a mess when she walked into my tiny office, I swear, I’ll get a little sofa one day. Hey, its not easy working for the government and not charging anyone. But I guess it was always my dream to work for free! Okay, enough with the complaining. On with her story….Well, she walked into my office Monday…
*******flashback********
“Dr. Chan?” a feeble voice called out to her from the door.
“Yes?” Virginia looked up from her desk and found a thin girl at around the age of 27 but she could have been younger, the strain on her face took years out of her. She looked like a victim of a violent beating, dark circles under her eyes, her hair was a total mess and her clothes were too baggy.
“The receptionist told me to come in and see you.”
Virginia could barely hear her words but it wasn’t incoherent. She gave the girl a welcoming smile and pointed to one of the chairs across from her “Of course, have a seat. Now what can I help you with?” she got up and closed the door of her little office and took her seat across from the girl. She had a gift of making people feel comfortable in any situation, maybe that’s why she became a psychiatrist.
“I…I…” the girl stuttered for a little bit “I don’t know how to start.” She mumbled.
Virginia gave a shrug “Okay, how about I ask you?” the girl quickly nodded “What’s your name?”
“Tracy.”
“Got a last name or did you forget that too?” she teased.
Tracy giggled before muffling the word “Wong.”
“Ah, Tracy Wong. I’ve always liked that name Tracy but my parents ended up calling me Virginia.” She wrinkled her nose “Such an ugly name, don’t you think?”
Tracy shook her head solemnly “No, not at all. Its very beautiful.” She said honestly.
“Well, thank you. But enough about this subject, let me ask you. Why are you here? I mean, what makes you think that you need help from me?”
She looked down at her hands and twirled them “I don’t want to live anymore.”
Virginia reached over and pulled her chin up with her warm fingers “Rule number one, look at me in the eye. I won’t bite.” She smiled and nodded her head “Most of the people that come in here say that they don’t want to live anymore. What’s your reason?” she got straight to the point.
Tracy’s eyes began to wander and Virginia cleared her throat bringing her back to her eyes “Well, you know when life isn’t going your way, you try to push it aside and just say to yourself ‘Its not that bad’? Well, what do you do when everything in life goes wrong? I don’t exaggerate when I say EVERYTHING.” Virginia tilted her head thoughtfully as she listened intently. “My parents died when I was five, leaving me an orphan, my grandmother wanted to adopt me and the paper work was working out fine when suddenly she died of a heart attack. I tried to look on the bright side when they sent me to an orphanage. Year after year I witnessed all the kids around me being adopted. When I turned 16, I wanted to end my life. But this great couple came along and they decided to adopt me. The lady I soon called mother loved me like her own child, the man was a noble and decent man, who soon died of a car crash. I watched my adopted mother go through turmoil of losing her husband. Soon after a year, she couldn’t handle the loneliness so she remarried. She was hasty to meet the man, maybe that’s why he turned out to be a sexual molester. I lost my virginity to him at the age of 18.” Tracy took a few seconds to wipe her tears and took a deep breath and continued, it was the first time she ever repeated her story to anyone. “He was a greedy man, always taking advantage of me while he can. My adopted mother was in denial, she wouldn’t hear of any such things about her husband. Even when he harassed me in front of her, she would turn her head and walk out of the room. After I found two side jobs as a waitress, I got out of that house and tried to start my whole life again. It went fine until I started dating this guy named Joe. He was the sweetest guy but I guess fate didn’t want me to love. He too died of a car crash, I was beyond devastated. The only guy that respected me died. I have no hope to live, no use to live and so I gave up. Quit those jobs and then moved my self out on the streets.” Her tears were streaming down her face by now.
Virginia’s heard of sadder stories but for some reason this one seemed to reach out to her, maybe because she was an orphan herself. She reached over the corner of her desk where she kept the box of tissues and pulled out a few for Tracy “How long have you been living on the streets?”
Tracy managed to give a weak smile “Too long. Years, I presume.”
Virginia nodded “You don’t have any friends?” the girl shook her head “No other relatives from your birth parents?” Again, she shook her head sadly “Where were you born?” her question threw the girl off guard.
“Why do you ask?” Tracy looked curious forgetting about her tear stained eyes.
“You’re telling me about your life story, your tragic incidents and heartwrenching losses and you won’t tell me where you live?” Virginia had a way with words always able to make anyone answer her questions.
Tracy lowered her eyes and hid her feeble smile “Sa Tin.” She answered.
Virginia grinned “Now that wasn’t so bad was it?” her warm voice soothing. “What has stopped you from taking your own life?” she asked the question that made her so curious.
She pulled up her sleeves and showed Virginia her wrists. There were at least 10 different slashes across the wrists on each hand. It gave Virginia chills just thinking about the pain this girl must have gone through. She held back the urge to gasp and shake the girl from the thought of doing trying to slash her wrists again. “As you can see, none of these attempts worked. I think the doctors in Yan Sum hospital are tired of seeing me in there. They eventually referred me to a psychiatrist in the hospital, but after talking to that doctor I wanted more than anything to kill myself. After a year of mind therapy, I was controlled, or so they thought. I ended up in the hospital again and eventually, Dr. Lau recommended me here. He said that you were one of the best around.”
Virginia smiled “He’s being very kind with his words.”
Tracy shook her head “No no, I think he’s right. I feel very comfortable talking to you. I’ve never told anyone this story, not even Joe and after meeting you for five minutes, I find myself pouring my heart out to you. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. Im not sure if I’ve helped you at all. But its always nice to hear that you were honest with your words.” Suddenly her forehead wrinkled “But I am curious about one thing.” Tracy nodded, indicating for her to ask “Out of all the unsuccessful attempts, have you ever thought that you weren’t meant to die? I mean, it looks like from the slashes on your wrists that it was over 10 times, death has cheated you that much. Why are you still trying to leave this earth?”
Tracy shrugged her shoulders “I’ve never thought of it that way. I just think God’s teasing me, he wants me to stay on this living hell.”
Virginia shook her head “No dear, he doesn’t want to torture you, I think he wants you to prove to people out there that when life is down, you should pick yourself up and keep on moving. When you give up, he will push you back up until you learn to do it yourself. God will take you when you’re ready to leave.”
Tracy seemed to be sinking in the words “Is that in the bible?”
Virginia smiled warmly “According to the book of Dr. Chan maybe, in the bible? I’ve never read it myself. This belief comes from my own thoughts. It gives you a peace of mind knowing and believing what you want to believe. I try to think of the bright side to every down side.” She leaned in closer and took Tracy’s cold, thin hands in hers “If you look closer, you’ll find it.” She gave her hand a tight squeeze and let go “Okay, I think you did very well today and as much as I want to continue our session, I have to eat.”
“Oh, Im sorry. I didn’t mean to take that time away from you…” she got up.
Virginia looked solemn as she shook her head “Its never a waste of time.” Her words were firm and very soothing to the ear.
“Thank you.” Tracy said sincerely. She’s never met anyone like her, she gave her heart into her work. “Considering this is a Social Center, Im surprised to have found such an excellent Dr. here. I feel much better.” She began to leave.
“So, will I see you again?” it was a double meaning question.
Tracy understood what she meant “Maybe.” She couldn’t guarantee anything.
Virginia nodded “Fair enough.” She believed that you have to let a person heal on their own and her job was to lead them into the right direction. This theory seemed to work really well since none of her patients have ever committed suicide after talking to her. She had a lot of faith that Tracy wouldn’t either. “I’ll see you next week for an update. That is if you want to come in. I don’t mind a phone call either. And if you don’t want to do either, write me a letter.” She reached for her business card at the corner of her desk and handed it to Tracy.
“Thank you very much.” She smiled for the first time, showing a row of perfect teeth. She bid her good night and walked out of the office.
*******end of flashback********
‘So there, Jeff, my new client. Its just been a few days, but I am getting a little worried about her. Usually, my patients call within two days telling me how well they are doing, but I have not heard from her yet. Anyways, enough of the worrywart, thanks for listening and I’ll keep you tuned for the next few episodes of Ginny’s life as a Shrink.’
Virginia folded up the book and tucked it away deep in her drawers of her room. She lived in a three bedroom house with a roommate. It was the house that was left to her by her parents when they died together on a train ride in CA. It was their fifth year anniversary, they originally left Virginia with her aunt who later left her in the orphanage because she didn’t want to raise her.
Her roommate was a crack up, he was a full blown gay guy that kept her on her toes. He was as nosy as ever and she always asked herself why she didn’t kick him out of the house. “Honey, Im home!” she heard his voice calling out to her.
She quickly left her room and closed it shut, indicating for him not to enter it. “What’s for dinner, Freddie baby?” she asked.
He was dragging along the floor 5 bags of groceries “A little help please?” his voice cracking.
She laughed and reached for the lightest bag and took it to the counter in the huge kitchen. “Hey, you’re forgetting that you’re a man.”
He brought the rest of the bags into the kitchen “How many times do I have to ask you not to call me that M-A-N word??” his hands on his hips as he scolded her.
She shook her head “How many times do I have to remind you that you are living here rent free?” she asked in reply.
He chuckled with a hand covering his mouth “Must I remind you that YOU were the one that invited me into your home because you were quote on quote ‘lonely’?” She scowled at his response and turned back to the groceries and began unpacking them. “Hey, you never did answer my question.”
She giggled “You have too many questions, dear.”
“Why did you ask me to move in? I know I made it clear that I was gay, I mean, you did meet me in a gay bar. Anyways, what were you doing in there? With your looks and brain, you would have easily married a prince charming.” His questions were never ending.
“I knew I should have told you about the rules before moving in here. You’ve lived here for over a year now and you still want to know everything about me?” she put the peanut butter in the fridge.
“Of course, that’s what girlfriends do.” He waved to her with a manicured hand “No, the peanut butter stays outside until its open.” She gave him a stern look before retrieving it and placing it in the cupboard. “What would you do without me?” he said with a sigh.
She smiled “I’d be a starving, long haired, dirty psychiatrist.”
They burst out laughing, knowing that it was true since he did all the cooking, he was the one that cut her hair since he was a full time hair stylist at the local mall not to mention the fact that he always told her how bad she smelled making her shower almost twice a day. She wasn’t self conscious about anything but her hygiene.
Chapter 2
Virginia Chan – Vivian Leung
Freddie Lam – Nick Cheung
Joanne Hung – Joyce Tang
Jeremy aka Remy Hung – Julian Cheung
Jeff Lai – Louis Koo
Virginia sat on her couch reading over her notes on the patients in the past week while Freddie worked his magic in the kitchen. An hour later, the aroma of home made lasagna traveled to her nose waking up her senses. “Hmm, that smells great!” she commented loud enough for him to hear.
“Just great?” he asked, sounding a little disappointed.
Virginia laughed “Even if you made macaroni and cheese, it will still smell as great.” She complimented. He had magical fingers and such a nose for food. “Such a shame that you’re not straight, I’d pin you down and rape you right here.” She joked. She had a thing for guys that can cook.
She heard his loud cackling “Dear, you wouldn’t be able to handle one hour of me gay, there’s no way you would live if I was straight.”
She threw down her notes and jumped from the couch when he took out the baked dish. She pulled out a few dishes for both of them and cut out two huge servings fore each dish. “You want the big one or should I do the honor?” she licked her finger when it touched the cheese and sauce.
“Im on a diet, give me the smaller piece.” He said after a few seconds of debating.
“Diet?” she asked with concern “You don’t need to diet.”
He let out a laugh “Who ever said I needed to? I just want to.” He corrected her.
She shrugged her shoulders, her friend was so strange to begin with, she shouldn’t have even bother to ask him anything “Hey, what’s your boyfriend think of our situation?”
Virginia recalled him telling her about a guy he just began to date a week ago. “I haven’t told him.” He said with a mouth full of pasta. He fanned his mouth when he realized the food was too hot.
She dropped her dish on the coffee table across from the couch they were sitting on and picked up a magazine to begin fanning his mouth for him. “Why not?”
He nodded indicating for her to stop fanning and swallowed his food. “Whew! That’s some hot baby! Well, what do you want me to say? Im living with a straight girl that’s a psychiatrist, I live there for free and in return, I cook her dinner and cut her hair among the little duties and chores. Yeah, that’ll keep him clinging on to me.” He rolled his eyes and took another bite of the food.
She turned to her friend and let out a sigh “You don’t have to lie to your lovers for my sake. I don’t mind. You can move out whenever you want, its up to you.”
He laughed “And pass up the chance to be a freeloader?? Never!! Im staying right here!”
Virginia shook her head in dismay “You, my friend, need help.” She reached for her dish again. “This is delicious.” She said with a mouthful of food.
“I know.” He gave her a slight wink, his smile quickly faded as he grew serious “Ginny, tell me the truth, why did you ask me to live with you. I know you said you were lonely, but I know there is something else involved.” He worried for her like a brother should.
She smiled as she chewed away on her food “Im the psychiatrist here, don’t be asking me questions.” When he raised an eyebrow in disagreement, she put up her hand surrendering “Okay, well, I guess in a way I don’t want to get married, yet I still need a companion to talk to everyday. I don’t want a burden of having a boyfriend that will not understand how important this job is to me. I wake up every morning at 6am and drive for about an hour to work, then I come home at around 7pm. Its basically my life, I can never give it up and I know that there are no man out there that will tolerate their girlfriend or wife that’s never home. You’re a different story, you’re gay and you put food on the table and you don’t get mad when Im not home at night or when I don’t have time for you. Face it, Freddie, you’re my reason for living.” She was teasing about the last sentence but he took her seriously as he placed his dish on the coffee table and reached over to hug her.
“Oh my gosh, that was so beautiful!” he sniffed a few times.
“Are you crying?” she asked.
“No.” his voice cracked as she felt his hand reached up to his face.
She pulled away from him and smiled “Don’t cry, you’ll smear your makeup.” She joked.
In a blink of an eye, his tears disappeared “Thanks for the reminder!”
She laughed, he was such a drama queen. Those were the moments when she realized why she got along with him so well. He made her laugh and he was tolerable, most of the time at least. “So here’s the weekend’s coming up, what’s your plans?” she was always curious to know what he was doing.
Freddie shrugged his shoulders “I don’t know. Maybe go on a little trip with Jimmy or maybe we’ll just do a little shopping or clubbing. How about you?”
Virginia shook her head “No plans. Stay home, do a bit of research for my new patient.”
His eyes immediately brightened “Oohh, who now? What’s her story or is it a he? I assume most suicidal victims are female because their so fragile and weak.” He said in one breath.
She smiled “You know my rules on revealing too much on my patients. Im not telling you anything.” She shook her head firmly.
“Awww, come on! I won’t tell anyone, I know you have to relieve that stress somewhere, let me be it. Pretty please?” he tugged at her sleeve while she pulled back harshly.
“I do have a stress reliever, his name is Jeff!” she said.
His mouth gaped open “Jeff? Who is this Jeff? I hear you mentioning him a lot, now tell me, who is he???”
She let out a comfortable laugh “If I didn’t know better, it sounded like you were jealous? Jeff is my journal, if you must know.” She rolled her eyes and took the last bite of her lasagna “Want more?”
He shook his head “No, Miss Piggy. Glad someone enjoys my food.”
She was about to get up but sat back down halfway “He doesn’t like your food?” she sounded shock.
Freddie looked uninterested “He’s a vegetarian and you know me, I have to have my beef and chicken. I only make those dishes so when I tried to make a tofu dish, he ended up throwing it in the trash without giving it a try.”
She rolled her eyes “He sounds like a doll.” She said sarcastically as she got up to get another serving.
“Well, he is when he’s not yelling or complaining or criticizing.” When she returned to the couch, he looked dazed.
Virginia sighed “Honey, you really need to find someone that will appreciate you. Why should you settle for anything less?”
He shook his head “Because he is the best that I can find. Hey, I haven’t dated for over 3 years!!”
“Yes, I know, you told me that every day for the past year!!” she shook her head “Come on, after I finish this serving, we’re going to the gay bar and find you a better contender!” she insisted.
His face lit up like a candle “Really? Wow, you really do care about me, the last time you left this house was for my birthday!”
“Another remark like that and I will never eat your food again!” she threatened.
“Im sooo scared!” he exaggerated a shiver while she laughed and ate her food.
He cleaned the dishes while she got ready and they were off to the gay bar within 10 minutes. They went to the usual one that Freddie went to, it was also the same one where Virginia first found him. She didn’t stand out since the club soon changed to an all homosexual bar meaning male and females were allowed there. They walked in with each other and Virginia immediately scoped the place. All the guys looked over dress and ready for a one night stand. They exchanged glances as they took a seat near the dance floor.
“Boy, its changed since the last time I came here.” She commented as her eyes were on the look out for any available men.
“That was over a year, of course its changed.” His voice full of saracasm. Like the weather, his attitude changed as he pointed to a guy at the bar. His back was turned, his hair cut was perfect from the back “He looks cute! Decent dresser too.” He noticed the slacks and collar shirt.
Virginia squinted her eyes to have a clearer look “No, not good. I don’t think so.” She said shaking her head.
He waved a hand at her “Nonsense! He’s perfect, watch me work my magic.”
She smiled trying to hold back from bursting out with laughter. The guy that her friend was claiming to be cute was actually a girl. Eventhough she was facing her back to them, Virginia could still easily make out the slender waist and thin arms.
Freddie walked up to the girl and tapped her on the shoulder “Is this seat taken?” he asked with his most sexy voice. The person didn’t answer, instead she pushed his hand away harshly. “Wow, feisty. I love that.” He sat down next to her on the stool while she turned to the other side away from him. “You come here often?” she continued to ignore him while his fingers traced over the bar table and crawled up to her shoulders again “Come on, show me your muscular chest.” He said in his most seductive voice.
The person turned around, showing her delicate featured face, but the scowl on her face deceived her small features. “Excuse me?” her eyes raised.
He quickly gasp and stumbled off the stool, “Oh gosh, I thought you were…” he waved his finger up and down.
She glared at him “A guy?” she offered.
Freddie laughed “No!” he rolled his eyes “Gay.”
Her eyes narrowed at his comment “Look buddy, this club is open for all kinds of people. Just because everyone that comes here does't make them automatically gay. Ever try reading that sign outside the entrance? It explains everything for you.” She said harshly.
His head flicked from one side to the other “Excuse me! It was an honest mistake, you don’t have to bite my head off! Anyways, you don’t exactly look like a girl to begin with.”
“What did you say you half female?” she turned her ears toward him daring him to repeat what he just said.
He rolled his eyes “Are you deaf now? Gosh, aging right before my eyes huh? Listen clearly okay? I said you don’t look like no woman! You see this?” he pointed to her wide slacks and collar white shirt. “Girls don’t wear this. They wear skirts.”
The girl was fuming by now as she rolled up her sleeves ready for a fight “You want to take this outside?” she asked, her eyes wide open.
“Honey, we can take right here.” He rolled up his own sweater sleeves and put up a hand. A tiny crowd began to gather up “Im not afraid to hit a girl, actually, Im not even sure if you are one.” He took his hands and ran it down his chest to his stomach “It looks just like mine!”
Her face grew red as a few people began to laugh “Oh! That does it, be prepared to lose all your hair!” she pushed him making him stumble back from the surprised attack.
Virginia saw from a far her friend arguing with the girl, she ran towards them as she pushed away the crowd. Suddenly a strong body bumped into her. She fell to the ground from the impact, then a hand was placed in front of her face “Im sorry miss, I didn’t see you there.” She looked up and found a guy with the cutest baby face.
She gave him a quick smile and took his offered hand as he pulled her to her feet “Its okay.” She mumbled before pushing through the crowd, he was right behind her. “Freddie!” she yelled as she held him back from attacking the girl. “Stop it!” her arms were tight around his waist.
“Don’t hold me back, Ginny, Im gonna teach her a lesson her mamma should have taught her!” he yelled as he tried to charge towards her.
“Joanne Hung! Stop it this minute!” a deep voice roared over the talking crowd. Virginia turned around and found the guy that bumped into her earlier hold back the girl. “You know dad will have another heart attack if he found out you were fighting again.” He whispered into her ear.
“Gor! He started it!” she whined.
He gave her a stern look before turning back to Virginia and Freddie “Im sorry, my sister is a little aggressive, but she’s harmless. I hope your friend is not hurt.” His eyes glued on Virginia.
She smiled in return “I don’t think he’s hurt.”
“What’s going on?!” everyone stopped when the authority voice called, some people moved aside to let the officer through “Remy, what’s going on?” the officer wasn’t in uniform.
Before Jeremy could answer, Joanne quickly butt in “Jeff, Im glad you came here on time, that little half and half tried to hit me!” she pointed to Freddie, who was still being held back by Virginia.
Jeff turned to the other two and then back at Jeremy “What do you want me to do about it?”
“Arrest him!” Joanne yelled. She quickly quieted down when her brother glared at her.
“Thanks Jeff. Nothing has to be done. It was just a misunderstanding. We’re gonna go now.” He patted his friend on the shoulder and turned back to Virginia “Nice meeting you.” He gave her a wink before leaving while she smiled shyly.
Jeff turned to the crowd “Okay, there’s nothing to watch, go back to what you were doing!” he waited for them to leave until he got back to Virginia and Freddie “Look, this is a well respected bar, I don’t want anymore trouble.”
“Yes sir.” Virginia said politely “It won’t happen again, will it Freddie?” her eyes sunk into his as she threatened him with her gaze.
He reluctantly mumbled an apology and ran out of the club angrily. She looked embarrassed as she gave the officer a nod and disappeared after her friend. A small smile appeared on his face as he watched her leave.
Chapter 3
Virginia Chan – Vivian Leung
Freddie Lam – Nick Cheung
Joanne aka Jo Hung – Joyce Tang
Jeremy aka Remy Hung – Julian Cheung
Jeff Lai – Louis Koo
Linda Lam – Flora Chan
Michael Lam – Steven Ma
Deana Chu – Ruby Lin
Robert Fong – Benny Chan
Jeremy and Joanne rode in the same car back home “Jo, don’t tell dad anything, he doesn’t need to know what happened tonight.” Her brother warned.
She rolled her eyes “I know, I know, you’re worse than mom!” she exclaimed with frustration.
“Well, someone’s got to look out for you. I wouldn’t have to repeat it if you would just stay out of trouble!” he scolded.
“Its your fault for taking me to a gay bar!!” she retorted.
He was about to open his mouth but realized that he did take her to the bar. He was actually looking for a person that he worked with at the Social Service department. Jeremy wasn’t sure if he was gay but he knew the kid liked to hang out at the bars at night time. Unfortunately he didn’t see him there. “Either way, just don’t open your big mouth and brag about tonight. You hear me?”
She stuck out her tongue in reply. Joanne was quiet the rest of the way home. When they walked through the door, they found Jeffrey and their father talking in low voices. The two exchanged glances and Joanne bounced her way over to her dad “Daddy, Im home!” she gave him her sweetest smile.
The elder man gave her a stern look and motioned for her to follow him. Jeffrey shrugged his shoulders when Joanne gave him a questioning look. After they left to the next room, Jeremy immediately ran to his friend “Jeff, what did you tell father?”
Jeffrey smiled and continued to shrug his shoulders “Nothing important.” His friend ruffled his eyebrows with concern “Don’t worry, she’s not in trouble, I know Uncle is weak.” He patted his friend on the back “Hey, I’ve got to go now.”
Jeremy shook his head “Don’t you ever take a break? The police department has enough people! I swear, you live for that kind of work.”
“And how about you? Mr. Social worker. You practically live at that little office.” He wrapped an arm around his friend shoulders and walked out towards the door “Face it, we were born to serve the people. Hey, Im gonna go now, I’ll see you this weekend.”
“Okay. See you then.” He closed the door after Jeffrey left and turned around in time to see his sister walking out with their dad. She had a scowl on her face while their father looked please with the outcome.
“Jeremy, you make sure she stays out of trouble okay?” the elder man gave a light cough and took a deep breath “Im tired, you two should sleep soon too.”
“Good night dad.” The two said in unison.
After their father left, Jeremy turned to his sister “What did he tell you?”
She wrinkled her nose “Jeff told him about the opening in the suicidal department where he works at. Dad wants me to join the team.”
Jeremy covered his mouth to keep from laughing “Oh my gosh! That’s a joke!” he exclaimed but soon lowered his voice “What did you say?”
“What can I say? No? Then he’ll really get a heart attack. You know daddy, he’s always telling us how to give back to the community. I don’t know why we have to! We work hard for the money.”
Jeremy cleared his throat “Ahem! Excuse me Miss Princess? Must I remind you that you do not work? All you do is get an allowance every month and spend it, tell me when have you ever worked in your life?” he placed his hands at his waist towering over her.
“Well, that one time, I helped this lady across the street and she gave me a dollar.” It was such a nonsense reply but she knew that her brother was right, she’s never had to work a day in her life while her brother poured his heart into his work.
“That’s because she probably thought you were a beggar. I mean, look at you!” he pointed to her clothes “You dress like a boy. People are beginning to ask me if you are my brother!”
Joanne muffled a laugh “That’s the point. I don’t need idiots to approach me.”
Jeremy snickered “Like they would normally.” He ignored the evil glare that his sister gave him “Well, its getting late, have fun tomorrow at work!” he let out a laugh and walked up the stairs to his room leaving.
*************
Virginia tried to chase after Freddie but he was quicker as he got a cab and they drove off leaving her standing there in awe. She knew he could be a little dramatic but that was ridiculous. She eventually drove herself home, he didn’t come strolling in until around 1am. She was waiting up for him “Freddie!” she was dozing off when she heard the rattling of the keys.
“You still up?” he didn’t look impressed.
“Yeah, I didn’t know where you went. What did that girl say? Why did you get so mad like that?”
His face turned a crimson red “Don’t mention that little she-boy! If I ever see it again, I swear, I’ll knock out all of it’s teeth!”
She smiled “Freddie, it’s a she. And what happened to your rule of not hitting a girl?”
“Some people just need a beating you know? Anyways, she called me a half and half, Im all woman! How dare she call me that!”
Virginia rolled her eyes “Just for that?” she covered a yawn and began to walk back to her room “Well, Im tired Mr. All Woman, so Im going to sleep.” She gave him a sheepish grin. The sudden sound of his cell phone startled her as she jumped and turn back. She saw him staring at the screen but he didn’t pick up the phone. “Who is it?” she asked after the third ring. He brought it up to her face. “Your sister? Aren’t you going to answer that?”
He waited until the last minute and then picked up the call. “Hello?”
“Where have you been? I’ve been trying to call you!”
“What is it, Ga Jei?” he rolled his eyes, she was always exaggering. He only got one call from her when he left the bar that night.
“Dad’s dying, you want to see him for the last time then come to Yan Sum hospital now!” with that she hung up.
Freddie’s face went pale as he let the cell phone fall from his ears, it began to fall but Virginia caught it in the nick of time. “Freddie! What’s the matter, you almost dropped this.” When she looked up at him, she realized that something was really wrong “What’s wrong?” she asked with more concern.
“My father.” His eyes began to well up with tears. “I have to go see him.” Yet his feet was still planted to the ground.
“Come on, I’ll take you.” She rushed to her room and got a jacket and retrieved her keys.
She sped to the hospital and double parked her car in the front. Yanking Freddie from his seat as she pulled him into the double doors. She approached to receptionist and asked for the room number. “Second Floor, room 215. You better hurry, he might not hold up much longer.” She said casually.
Virginia didn’t have to rush her friend since he ran off without her, taking the stairs, he skipped two steps each and push open the door and burst through the room. All eyeballs stared back at him. His sister Linda and younger brother Michael standing on each side of the bed. His father had tubes and wires attached to every part of his body. He eyes were half closed as he turned his head to look at his son. “Where have you been? Father’s been asking about you.” Linda scolded.
Freddie didn’t reply, instead his eyes were glued to his father’s. Tears dripping from his cheeks and hitting the ground. “I want to talk to Fred.” The old man whispered.
Linda, Michael and their other relatives left the room giving them privacy. When the door closed, Freddie rushed to his father’s side “Daddy.” He whispered through tears.
“Don’t cry Fred. Im going to a better place.” The dying man gave his son a weak smile “I never told you this, but you were my favorite.”
Freddie smiled and nodded “I know. You told me when I was 10.” His face turned grim “Im sorry dad, this family would have been happy if it wasn’t for me. I didn’t want to be gay, it just happened. I swear it wasn’t to give you a heart attack.”
The old man tried to chuckle “I understand now.” He sighed softly “I wish I could have realized that before. Now your sister and brother think you are the sinner of all time.”
Freddie shook his head “I don’t care what they think.” He said almost harshly.
“You know what my wish was on my 50th birthday?” Freddie shook his head sadly “To see you three as you were when you were small. Remember how you three use to get along so well?”
He smiled at the recollection of memories that began to swarm back into his mind “Yes, I remember when one of us did something bad, the other two wouldn’t tattle tale so we all ended up being hit. I wish we could be like that again.” He said whole heartedly.
The man smiled “Im sure you will one day.” He squeezed his son’s hand “Whatever you do, be happy….”
“Daddy?” he whispered as he looked up on the heart monitor. It was lowering rapidly “Daddy?” he said louder, the constant beep of the monitor showed him that his heart gave up. Freddie cried openly as he let go of his father’s hand and wrapped his arms around his chest.
The door swung open as Linda and Michael watched their brother embraced their dead father. Michael walked over to the bed side and squeezed his brother’s shoulder “Yee Gor.” He said softly.
“It’s all your fault!!” his sister cried out. Freddie ignored her as he let the tears flowed from his eyes “If you didn’t have to announce to this family that you were gay, he wouldn’t have a heart attack. You thought leaving would help him? He was even more worried in the past year. You never bothered calling.” She stopped to wipe her own tears while Michael returned to her side and put a protective arm around her “He died because of you.” She finished.
Freddie let go of his father and looked up at his sister who was crying on Michael’s shoulders. “I didn’t want him to die as much as you didn’t want him to. Why do you have to say those things now? It’s a little too late.” His voice was monotone and emotionless. He looked like a zombie as he walked out of the room, he glanced up and saw Virginia with tears in her eyes. He tapped her on the shoulder, hinting for them to leave. She nodded and followed him out of the hospital.
At home he stayed up talking about his father, how much he loved him when he was a kid. But everything seemed to changed when he turned 18 and announced to everyone in the family that he was gay. He didn’t expect a good response nor any supporters, all he really asked for is understanding. Yet it seemed like no one did. Virginia knew how much her friend loved his family eventhough he didn’t see them, there were certain things that he did which reminded him of his father, mother, brother and even his sister. Linda and Freddie were really close at one time, she never excepted the fact that her brother was gay. Michael was different, he understood and excepted but never supported his brother. Their connection eventually closed down after Freddie moved out when he turned 21.
Virginia listened as he talked most of the night away. Eventually he was so tired that he fell asleep on the couch lying on Virginia’s lap. His body curled up into a ball while her hand rested on his head. She dozed off after Freddie fell asleep. The next morning, she found a blanket over her body, her position didn’t move the whole night. When she opened her eyes, she found him cooking breakfast. “Freddie?” she asked.
“Good Morning sleepy head! How would you like your eggs this morning? Scrambled or sunny side up? How about scrambled, its healthier for you.” He babbled on and on about the weather and how well he slept last night.
She let him ignore his pain as she got ready for work, they ate breakfast together. He continued to talk about his work and how his boss was a jerk. “Why don’t you quit then?”
“I still need clothes, Ginny.” He said a matter of factly.
“You have plenty of clothes.” She replied reasonably.
“You can never have enough clothes my friend.” He smiled and took a mouthful of eggs. “Hey, you got any plans this weekend? Me and a bunch of my friends are doing a barbeque on the beach. Come and join us.”
“Freddie, stop.” She said quietly.
“No really, it’ll be soo much fun! I’ll even introduce you to the straight ones. Yes, there are straight guys there too, especially for you.” He nodded firmly with a huge grin.
“Freddie, you don’t have to do this. I know that you’re hurt.”
In a heartbeat he dropped his fork and put a hand over his eyes “I can’t stop thinking about it, Ginny. I can’t! I was the cause of his death!”
“No you are not! Stop blaming yourself! If you knew that your sexuality would change the course of his life, would you have told him that you were gay?”
He shook his head “Of course not. I’d bring in a girlfriend and even get married to her to give him peace of mind.”
She smiled at her friend “If you were willing to go against your heart for your father, how could you even say that you were the cause of his death. Everyone is going to die at one point in their lives, its just a matter of when. God takes the best with him. You cannot blame yourself for something you cannot control. This will just give you stress and more worries. Think about what I just said.” She gave Freddie a warm hug before picking up her stuff “Im going now. If you need me, give me a ring.”
He nodded thankfully “I know. Thanks Ginny.” He gave her a smile to assure her.
She gave her friend a quick glance before leaving the house. She hoped that her words would sink in.
SIU BING LIBRARY