****
Justin shut the door behind him and released a squirming Zachary from his grasp. His eyes still danced with laughter as he turned to his wife, who was leaning casually up against the back of the sofa. “Nobody tells me anything!” he pouted, his tone taking on a slightly childish quality as he gazed into Jordan’s soft hazel eyes.
He stepped towards her and placed his hands lovingly around her waist, pulling the brunette away from the furniture that she leaned upon and nearer to his body. Justin smiled down at his wife as she tilted her face upwards, and he moved in for a kiss as he spoke. “You’ll tell me though right?”
Jordan laughed and moved out of Justin’s grasp before he could plant his lips on hers, causing him to lose his balance and almost fall into the sofa. “You’re not dragging me into this. It’s not my story to tell.” she reminded.
Justin sighed, sticking his tongue out at his wife. “Okay…I’ll figure it out for myself then. Will you tell me if I’m right?” he inquired hopefully.
The brunette‘s shrug was non-committal, her smile mysterious. “Maybe.”
“Fine, be that way.” he stated, pretending to be upset as he walked around the side of the couch and plopped down, observing his son who was busy with his building blocks.
After a few moments of silence, he spoke to Jordan. “Alright, well it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out Zach’s clues. Wham bam thank you ma’m…April…and JC. I’d say they had sex. The question is…when? And why?”
Hearing his favorite new phrase repeated by his father, Zachary stood, abandoning his blocks as he began running around in circles shouting. “Wham bam! Baby! In her tummy! Got busy!” As he continued to run wildly and chant his telling new song, Jordan bit her lip as she observed her husband’s reaction.
Justin furrowed his brow in confusion, glancing first at his wife, then his son, and back to Jordan again. Finally, he managed to speak. “April’s pregnant? Since when? Where the hell have I been? Does JC know? He’ll flip out!” he began, a look of disbelief painted on his face.
Jordan started to reply to Justin’s queries but she was stopped short as he continued. “What I’d like to know is when they started doing each other in the first place! Last I knew they were both single. Oh man, JC’s gonna go nuts when he hears the news…this is gonna affect everything…his career will have to be put on hold…”
“I’m pregnant.”
Stopping mid-sentence, Justin turned to his wife, wondering if he heard her correctly. “You’re what?”
“I’m pregnant you moron!” she blurted out. Then, before Justin could respond to her announcement, she spoke again. “Yes, I know that it was an accident AGAIN, and I know that you think our family is perfect just the way it is. I know that it’s going to affect the plans you’ve made for your solo career, but there’s nothing I can do about it, that’s just how it is. I’m sorry that I screwed up.” she babbled on, oblivious to the goofy grin that now graced Justin’s handsome features as he took in the news.
Gesturing with her hands, she continued. “I mean, who knew that you couldn’t take four birth control pills in one day? I have enough things to do with taking care of Zach, dealing with Chris’ hyperactive ass every day, and doing all the accounting for the studios that I can hardly be held accountable for taking a tiny pill at the same exact time every single day of my life! Plus it’s not like you ever remind me or anything!!” she sputtered, obviously flustered as everything she’d been feeling for the past week and a half came flooding out.
Justin stood up from where he rested on the couch, grinning from ear to ear as though he didn’t even hear his wife’s aggravated ranting. Glancing down at Zachary, who still roved around chanting contentedly, Justin absorbed the news fully. Lifting his gaze back up to meet Jordan’s piercing hazel eyes, he spoke giddily. “I’m a dad again?”
Jordan tossed up her hands. “Um…YEAH.” she practically shouted, shaking her head as Justin broke into an obnoxious impromptu song and dance.
“I’m gonna be a daddy, I’m gonna be a daddy…” His blue eyes sparkled jubilantly as he darted over to pick up Zach, who began clapping his hands together happily. Wrinkling his nose at the small boy, Justin reached out and ruffled his son’s curls playfully. “You’re gonna be a big brother Zach baby!” he announced.
“Big brother!!” Zach screeched, slapping gently at his father’s chest.
Jordan stood silent as she watched Justin and Zachary, rolling her eyes as she turned and stalked down the short hallway within the suite.
“Jor…hey! Where are you goin?” Justin called out gleefully, following her with Zach in his arms. “We should celebrate, this is great news!”
She shot him an exasperated look over her shoulder, turning into the lavish bedroom area as Justin caught up with her and stopped short of entering the room. “Have you known for awhile?” he pressed, awaiting her answer.
She spun around and met his gaze, resting her hand on the door as she spoke evenly. “Remember the day I went to see the doctor and then stopped at the studios, cuz I had something to tell you?” she demanded.
“Yeah.” he replied. “If you’ve known since then, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“UGH!” she huffed, and with that final burst of frustration, she swung the door shut in his face.
Justin then turned to the small child in his arms, who had silenced at his mother’s outburst. “It’s gonna be a long nine months.” he said, allowing a million dollar smile to slide gracefully across his features, unable to hide how he truly felt about the news.
****
Mo glanced out the window of the sleek black limousine, a thoughtful look gracing her delicate features as she watched the passing scenery. The city bustled with life, and she always found it strange when observing it quietly from a car or hotel room. Hearing a yawn come from the man seated to her right, she smiled deviously as she remembered why she was in the limo in the first place. “Tired?” she asked her companion, not tearing her gaze away from the view outside the tinted glass.
“Yeah, but I think I’ve finally got all the bugs worked out in the performance, so that’s a plus.” JC stated, stifling another yawn.
“Always a good thing, considering the show’s two days away.” she responded, turning to the brunette, smiling sweetly as she moved in for the kill.
“Yep.” he nodded, so plagued with fatigue that his eyes began to droop tiredly despite his efforts to stay awake.
“Speaking of…” Mo began. “I talked to April today.”
JC’s eyes flickered open and he ran a hand tiredly through his locks. “Yeah? About what?” he questioned, trying not to show too much interest, but already his mind was wandering to a familiar memory.
“Oh, nothing really too interesting…” she said vaguely, noticing the far off look developing on JC’s rugged features. She pounced. “Well, there was one thing that I found coincidental…something that needed a bit of explaining.”
“Huh? I’m sorry…what were you saying?”
Mo snorted. “It was just that when I mentioned your name…she got this dreamy, weird look on her face. Much like the one you’re sporting now, and have been lately…whenever I mention her name.”
“Point being?”
“Well Joshua, I think it goes without saying that I was slightly curious as to why this trance-like state develops in both you and April. So, I asked. And she spilled.” Mo shrugged, a spark igniting in her dark eyes. “Boy did she spill…” she trailed off, smirking.
JC suddenly seemed very much alert as his features mimicked that of a deer in the headlights. “She told you? Err…I mean, uh…well what exactly did she tell?” he fumbled, obviously embarrassed by the news.
Mo gazed at her fingernails, “Just this…interesting little story about the two of you, and a sordid New Year’s love affair. Ring any bells?”
JC’s jaw dropped as he gazed at his manager and friend in disbelief. “It was not sordid!” he protested, then laughed slightly. “And yes, it rings a few…bells, if you will.”
“Whatever.” Mo rolled her eyes. “Regardless of what adjective I use to describe it, you guys have more history than I thought…” she paused, “And let me just say I am seriously offended that no one ever told me.”
JC shook his head. “I never told anybody.” he stated simply. It wasn’t that he had been ashamed of what went on between him and April, as they were both adults and the attraction had obviously been there prior to that night. Otherwise, he told himself, things never would have progressed so quickly. He wasn’t the type to randomly sleep around, and from what he knew about April, she wasn’t either. Suddenly, a feeling of regret washed over him, not because of their actions, but because he hadn’t ever bothered to talk to April about it. He hoped that she didn’t regard it as a horrible secret, a bad memory, or a case of poor judgment because he, in his own mind, never had.
“Excuse me, are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Mo demanded, staring at JC. Noticing the blank look he shot her, she sighed loudly before repeating her statement. “I said, I think you two need to talk about this whole…escapade of yours.”
JC nodded agreeably, then suddenly thought of something he needed to know before speaking to April. “So you said she uh…told you all about it, right?”
Mo laughed. “Yep. I heard more than I cared to if you must know.”
“Well, what did she say?”
“Do you really think it’s necessary for me to relive it? I had enough trouble hearing it the first time, god only knows what telling it would do to me.” she snorted slightly. “Besides, you were there weren’t ya? I’m sure you remember everything just fine.”
“That’s not what I meant.” JC replied. “I meant like…did she say how she felt about it? Like was it a bad memory for her?”
“She doesn’t hate you if that’s what you’re asking, however I’d hope that would be a given since you’ve seen her and talked to her since the…uh…incident. Secondly, I hardly think that it’s a bad memory after having seen the dreamy look she gets on her face while retelling the disturbing tale.”
JC frowned. “I think you’re disturbing.” he teased.
“Yeah well nobody asked ya anyways.” the dark haired woman returned, swatting at the handsome man. “But back to what I said, you two need to talk and that’s that. I’ll figure out a way to get you two alone, you just be in your room around noon tomorrow. Rehearsals don’t start till two, that should give you plenty of time to…well…talk hopefully.” she said frankly.
The blue eyed individual laughed as Mo continued. “Oh yeah, and you ARE taking her to the VMA’s…so don’t forget to inform her of that when you two have your little chat. Got it?”
JC nodded, not bothering to even try to discuss it any further with Mo. “Alright boss, I got it. Let’s just hope she doesn’t mind accompanying me to the awards.” he mused, shooting his friend a sideways glance.
Mo smirked. “She won’t mind…trust me.”
****
Rachel sighed as she slid into the warm bath water she had drawn immediately upon arriving back at her apartment. After leaving Radio City Music Hall, she had run over to the MTV studios to take care of a few phone calls before finally hailing a cab to Manhattan’s West Side. Opening her eyes lazily, she glanced at the clock within the bathroom, groaning as she saw that it was already eleven thirty at night. She was wearing herself thin at work, arriving at the venue around eight o’clock every morning for the past two days, as well as not leaving any earlier than nine every evening. Most of her day was spent doing interviews, as well as briefly running through the presentation she and the guys were doing at this year’s show. Closing her baby blues in the candlelit room, she tried to clear her mind in hopes that she’d get a decent night’s sleep before the next day.
The tiny bathroom was illuminated by the soft glow of the aromatherapy candles she had lit, the water lulling her into a restful state. The air was peaceful, interrupted only by her breathing and the occasional noises of traffic within the city. Her mind wandered as she lay there, her head propped back comfortably against the back of the tub, and it wasn’t long before her thoughts meandered lazily to the evening’s earlier events.
Anger from hours earlier came flooding back, the emotions raw and familiar as she relived the scene in her head. It was stupid, much like every fight they’d had lately, but at the core the feelings were always the same. As she sat there, tears spilling out over her cheeks, she wondered how things had gotten so bad. She knew every couple had problems, she knew that no relationship was perfect, but she loved Joey and hated the way her frustration about his failure to commit was tearing them apart.
Lost in her own thoughts long after the water grew tepid, Rachel finally drew her lanky body from the bathwater and dried off. Trying a knot in her fuzzy pale yellow robe, she sighed as she took note of her puffy eyes in the oval mirror hanging above the sink. Pushing aside the tendrils of blonde hair that had fallen out at the base of her messy topknot, Rachel padded barefoot out of the bathroom and down the short hallway. Entering the kitchen, she filled a mug with water and stuck it into the microwave, heating the contents within. A minute or so later she pulled the steaming mug out of the appliance and leaned against the counter casually as she absentmindedly dipped a teabag into the liquid. Lost in the silence of her own thoughts, she was quite startled by the rattling of a key in the lock and the door swinging open, a tall man barely visible in the dimly lit apartment.
“Joey?” she inquired at the same time as a familiar male voice called out cautiously.
“Rach?” Joey asked timidly, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. Squinting in the veritable darkness, he saw her standing within the kitchen area. Still not moving towards her, he spoke again. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?” he questioned, deciding instead to make his way into the living room where he flipped on a lamp, filling the room with a cozy glow. Turning to look at the lanky blonde standing beside the open bar, he awaited her reply.
“No, I wasn’t asleep…you didn’t wake me. Why do you ask?” she asked in return, her tired eyes roving over the Italian’s features. Joey looked as exhausted as she felt, his normally sparkling eyes dull in the lamplight, his clothing rumpled, and his usually spiky hair flat and lifeless. He looked as though he hadn’t slept right in several days, and the extra time he’d been putting in hanging around at the venue had seemingly taken it’s toll.
He shrugged as he responded to her question. “I called here a couple times but nobody answered, so I called the studios and they said you left around ten. You seemed tired so I thought maybe you were sleeping and didn’t hear the phone or something…”
“I was taking a bath, I turned the ringer off…I didn’t really feel like talking to anyone tonight.” she explained, taking a sip of her tea.
Joey looked unusually uncomfortable for a moment. “Well…I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean, you left the venue kind of angry…I came over to apologize to you Rachel. I was just joking about that whole entourage, change of seating thing. I didn’t mean for you to get upset.”
Rachel felt that familiar feeling of dread growing in her stomach as she stared at the brunette still standing awkwardly in the living room. Taking a deep breath in efforts to repress her anger, she remembered Mo’s insightful advice. “Take a deep breath and just discuss things…” It rang in her head clearly as she held Joey’s gaze, reminding her of what was really at the heart of all their problems. It was time they talked, got everything out in the open, regardless of the outcome. She was ready. She needed to know.
Setting her cup down, she spoke. “Are you tired? I mean, can you stay for a little while?”
Joey ran a hand through his brown locks, nodding his head slightly. “I’m a little tired, but I’m more than happy to stay if that’s what you want.” he stated agreeably.
“Okay then, just give me a few minutes…I’m gonna go get dressed and then we’ll talk. I have some things that I need to get off of my chest.” And with that, she moved quickly down the hallway and into her room. Dressing quickly in a pair of patterned pajama pants and a hooded sweatshirt, she took a deep breath before heading back out to join Joey in the main room.
Joey was already seated comfortably on the large gray sofa when Rachel returned, and she sat down opposite him, perching herself atop the oak coffee table. She sat silent for a moment, observing the dark haired man before she finally spoke, prepared to lay everything on the line.
“Um…well, what I wanted to talk to you about Joey is us. Our relationship.”
He nodded silently as she looked to him for recognition, choosing to remain quiet until she had said everything she needed to get out. After knowing her for so long, he could tell that there was something serious weighing on her mind, and had been for awhile.
Closing her eyes briefly, she reopened them and began again. “I just…I mean, lately it seems that all we do is argue. We fight over the littlest, most insignificant things, yet never really open up the big issue at hand. Um…okay, I don’t really know how to say this.” she started awkwardly. “I love you Joey, I hope you know that. I can’t imagine looking back over the past six years and not having the memories I‘ve made with you, so I don’t want you to think that I regret any part of our relationship. But lately, those memories and good times just aren’t enough. They used to be…but not anymore.”
Joey sat still, his face expressionless as she continued. “Anyways, what I wanted to talk to you about is our future. I’m not giving you an ultimatum, but I need to know. In the past I’ve never doubted how you felt about me, not once…not until now.” She hesitated momentarily, looking to him for some sort of reaction, but there was none. Bowing her head slightly, she spoke softly. “Joey, I just need to know what you want. I need some sort of affirmation of how you feel about me. I don’t necessarily mean a marriage…I don’t want to push you into anything you aren’t really ready for…but I want something, some indication that I mean as much to you as you do to me. I just don’t understand why you’re keeping me at arm’s length…other than the possibility that you’re keeping your options open. I need to know that I’m the one you want, the person that makes you happy, the woman you think of sharing your life with.”
She stopped then, at that final statement, and her gazed pierced his soul. He sat, silent and motionless as he took in everything she said, his head swimming with thought and emotion.
His thoughts tangled as he struggled to sort out everything he was thinking, hearing his brother’s voice mixed in with his own. Questions nagged him, fueling the argument in his head. “I see what you’re doing, you’re just keeping your options open..” Steve’s voice taunted, while his own voice echoed alongside…“Why are you holding back? Why don’t you marry her…don’t you love her? What are you afraid of?” Even Rachel’s words haunted him, drifting in and out of his thoughts as she looked at him, waiting for his response.
The blonde sat unmoving, the panic setting in as she watched Joey, who sat expressionless across from her. Her heart screamed at her, willing her to take back her words, convincing her she did the wrong thing. Salty tears filled her baby blues as she still waited, still hoped that he would hold her and tell her everything she’d been wanting to hear. Finally she stood, defeated, her expression crestfallen as she gazed down at the man she’d shared so much of herself with. She spoke with a quiet dignity, but her voice had a tone of finality that made her heart ache. “I guess I have my answer. Good bye Joey.”
Rachel turned away as the tears spilled down her tanned cheeks and started down the hall, away from the man that had given her so much love, yet just caused her so much pain.
“Rachel…” he called out in protest, but it was too late. The damage was done…he had hesitated, made a mistake. Rachel stopped and looked at him as he said her name, tears trailing down her face in sparkling rivers and his heart sank as he looked at her, knowing that she was gone.
“Good night.” she said sadly, and entered her room, shutting the door behind her.
He stood alone in the apartment, in shock of what just occurred. What had he done? How could he let the woman he loved for so long, slip away so quickly?
Tears filled his chocolate eyes as he slid his key out of the pocket of his jeans and onto the coffee table she had just perched upon. Turning off the lamp, he quietly made his way to the door and opened it, allowing a sliver of light to filter into the room. “I love you Rachel…” he said, his voice almost a whisper as he exited the apartment into the harshly lit hallway.