Jessica really thought her heart had stopped. Her whole body froze as he sat next to her. The two sat in an awkward silence. Neither knew what to say to eachother, so they just sat there.
Nick spoke up softly,"We've never had an awkward silence before."
Jessica turned to him and looked deep into his crystal clear blue eyes,"No we haven't."
"I think we need to talk,"Nick said, looking down at the water.
"Maybe,"Jessica nodded but changed the subject. "The water's beautiful isn't it?"
"You always did that,"Nick noted quietly.
"Did what?"Jessica questioned meeting his gaze again.
"Changed the subject."
Jessica just shrugged,"That's how I deal with things when I don't want to face the truth."
"I was scared Jess. I was so scared to see you again,"Nick admitted.
"I was scared too."
"I missed you."
"Me too."
"Why's this so weird?"
"Because the last time we saw eachother it wasn't exactly on a good note."
Nick's feet moved slowly in the water and he turned his body toward's her,"I still love you."
"I love you too,"Jessica said honestly.
"Then why aren't we together?"Nick asked desperately, near tears.
"I thought I made it pretty clear,"Jessica said not wanting to look at him. She knew it was harsh but she couldn't be with him.
"God Jess,"he choked out. He was crying.
Jessica couldn't help the tears that now cascaded down her own cheeks. "Please don't cry Nick. It's hard enough seeing you."
"I told you I was so sorry about what I did,"Nick said ignoring her comment.
"Do you actually realize what you did? Do you know how much that hurt me?"Jessica replied, instinctively reaching over and wiping away his tears. "The past two months have been complete and total hell for me."
"And you don't think they haven't for me?"Nick asked her.
"I didn't say that,"Jessica defended. "Please don't be angry."
"I'm angry with myself. If I wasn't so stupid-"
"What's done is done."
"I know."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah."
"How many women did you sleep after me?"
Nick looked at her pain stricked face. It was then that he realized how much he actually did hurt her. How much he hurt the one person he would've given up everything for. The person he'd give the world to if he could. His lover, his best friend, his other half, his soul mate. "Oh my god I'm so sorry Jessica. For everything I put you through."
Jessica took his hand tenderly in her own,"I know."
"I was trying to get over you. To forget you,"Nick said as fresh tears coursed down his cheeks.
"What do you think the hair was about,"Jessica smiled as she ran her free hand through her blond locks.
Nick cracked a smile through the tears,"I kinda like it."
"I don't,"Jessica giggled.
Nick smiled then got serious again,"Please Jess don't let this be the end for us."
"I always believed that we were meant to be together. I always knew that you were my soul mate Nick. Always,"Jessica said. "But sometimes when you really love someone, the best way to hold on to them is to let them go."
His pale blue eyes got glassy again,"I don't want to let you go."
"This really great woman I sat next to on the plane back to Florida told me that if we were truely meant to be, somehow we'd find eachother again. She said to leave it all to fate. I came here tonight to think and then you came. Of all places, we met again at this bay. If it happened once it'll happen again."
"I don't want to try and live without you Jess. I need you in my life,"Nick said,tears streaming down his hurt face. He was never strong. Jessica was always stronger then him.
"You'll always be a part of me. No matter what happens, you'll always be in my life."
"Can we at least be friends?"
"Best friends,"Jessica whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder. Nick wrapped an arm around her petite body, pulling her closer to him. She was crying again too.
"Do you think we'll ever get back together?"Nick asked her and kissed her forehead.
"Yeah, but right now I think we both need time to heal. We're both hurt,"Jessica said, still comfortable in his strong embrace.
"You know, after you left I actually sat and thought about everything we've been through together. Remember the Christmas at my house?"Nick said with a small smile.
Jessica giggled,"We were bad that night."
"Oh yeah,"Nick laughed."What about our first time?"
"That evening was so special,"Jessica breathed. "It was perfect. Just the way I always thought my first time would be. It was the perfect setting, the perfect time, and I was with the perfect person."
Nick smiled,"Yeah me too. I'll never forget that day."
"Me either. I'll never forget the time you and Brian spied on Leighanne and me at that restaurant we went to with Joey. You had those ridiculous wigs on. I was so mad,"Jessica grinned.
Nick groaned,"You called me a prick."
"You deserved it,"Jessica smiled.
"I guess. Oh geez, remember when you got piss drunk?"
"It all started with that damn Tequila Sunrise. Then those tequila shots. Do you know I've never touched another drink with tequila in it?"
"You haven't drank that much since that night,"Nick replied.
"No I haven't,"Jessica agreed.
"We've been through so much together,"Nick said softly.
Jessica didn't say anything. She wiped the tears away that were in her eyes. She knew Nick was crying too. No words were spoken, but this time the silence wasn't uncomfortable. The moon shone down on the two as they sat there holding hands and crying.
"I love you,"Nick finally spoke up.
"I'll always love you,"Jessica replied. Her leg locked with his under the water. She put her arms around him and they sat there in a sweet embrace.
All of a sudden Nick laughed. Jessica looked at him curiously,"I was thinking about this morning when you did that little gymnastics routine in the church. That sure was the highlight of the day."
"Hey! That was ALL your fault!Don't start with me when I can easily push you into the water,"Jessica threatened playfully.
"Don't you go blaming your klutziness on me darlin'. I didn't fall when I saw you. Go ahead and push me in the water. I dare you,"Nick smirked. Jessica raised an eyebrow and pushed Nick into the chilly bay. He grabbed her as he fell and she fell in with him. The two came back above water, smiling.
"Can I do something?"Nick asked her as they treaded the water to stay above it.
"Depends,"Jessica replied.
"Can I just give you one more kiss? I've been kinda going through Jessica-withdrawal,"Nick smiled.
Jessica couldn't resist his smile. She never could. Her arms snaked around his neck and she pulled him to her for a tender kiss. It was sweet but passionate.
Nick didn't want to let go because he knew this would probably be their last kiss for a while.
Jessica pulled away and looked at his cherubic face,"Look at us, crying all over again."
Nick laughed in spite of the tears that fell once again,"I'm allowed to cry over you."
"Yeah,"Jessica said softly. This wasn't the end and they both knew it. But for now that's how it had to be.
Nick swam over to the dock and pulled himself onto it. He then helped Jessica back on. The two layed down and stared up at the star-filled night sky.
Neither spoke, but the words that Jessica had previously spoken rang through Nick's mind. Sometimes when you really love someone, the best way to hold on to them is to let them go. And that's just what he was going to do...
