You might think 21-year-old Nick Carter is sitting on top of the world. He's a member of one of the hottest pop music bands in history, the Backstreet Boy's latest album Black and Blue is riding high on the music charts and he has devoted fans all over the world. But the fact is,tall, blonde and handsome Nick deals every day with major insecurities - and he even battles feelings of depression and low self-esteem. "You could say I get overweight and depressed," says Nick. "Whenever the BSB have time off, and I'm home by myself, I start feeling a little antsy. So I end up playing video games,watching TV and over-eating. It's been a real problem for me. Sometimes people comment on how I look like I've gained weight,which hurts. But eating is just something I do when I'm bored, when I feel sad or when I have too much free time on my hands."
Of course, the BSB don't have a whole lot of time off - they spend almost every day of the year working; on tour, in the recording studio, doing interviews or meeting fans and signing autographs. But when those rare days off do come, Nick often finds himself feeling blue. "I don't know what it is," he says. "I guess I just feel better about myself when I'm working."
Nick's been fighting his battle with weight for some time now. "I've always hated my stomach," he says. "I've got my dad's stomach - like, I couldn't get some other trait, right? No, I get his stomach! I can work out like crazy,but I still have it."
And Nick admits there's another thing that leads him to feeling low. He has a hard time dealing with change, and the past year saw plenty of that. "It was hard, seeing Kevin and Brian grow up and get married," says Nick. "They are not around as much obviously, because when they have time off, they want to spend it with their wives. It's been a big change for me, because I was used to seeing them more often. They're my very best friends and my big brothers - I mean, Brian and I have always been best friends, and we always will be. But I guess it's hard for me to accept that some things in life are inevitable and that things change all the time."
Kevin and Brian both understand Nick's feelings, and they know how much they mean to their "little bro." "We've watched Nick grow up," says Kevin. "He was a great kid, and now he's a great man. But when he was growing up, and going through the tough teenage years, we were all he had sometimes. He relied on us for a lot of emotional support."
Nick was even concerned about fans' reaction to Black and Blue. He says that he and the Boys weren't 100 percent confident that people would like their music, and they wondered if their fans would still be there for them. "When we started going out on Total Request Live and stuff, we really didn't know if anyone would show up to see us," he remembers. "When we saw everyone out there screaming for us, we all looked at each otherwith a sense of relief...like, "Whew!"
Nick knows that he's an extremely lucky guy, and he's totally grateful for the love and support he receives from his fans. "When I'm out there and I get the chance to see the fans and talk to them, that really makes me feel great," he says. "It's hard to feel bad when you feel all the love coming from the fans. That really lifts me up so high, it's amazing!"