Things had definitely changed over the course of that month. The good change was that Allison decided to stay with me here in California instead of returning to Massachusetts with Emily, to be near Davy. Okay, perhaps for that reason it wasn’t a fantastic change, but it was great that Allison would be around, and I just figured I’d get used to my two best friends being together one of these days. They seemed to be in love at least.

The bad change? Mike and I were really awkward with each other when Helen was around. We tried not to be, but it couldn’t be helped. Every time she snuggled with or kissed him I would feel a pang of jealousy in my chest, and he would give me apologetic looks.

Josh, on the other hand, was absolutely great. I could feel myself falling for him-not exactly the way I did for Mike, but pretty close. He was accepted into my circle easily-it’s hard not to like him. Besides, now Peter finally had someone else to make kugal for him.

“Katie, I think it’s about time you tried out for that cabaret thing at the Vincent Van Go-Go.” Davy prodded me casually late in August.

“Yeah!” Micky agreed enthusiastically. “Maybe you could do that thing where you bend all the way backwards on your tip-toes-“

“No. If I do try out for the show, I would sing.” I said haughtily.

“You sing?” Mike snorted. “I remember the first day we met you, you were singing ‘Manchester England, Englaaand…” He warbled. (We seemed to return back to our old ways whenever Helen or Josh weren’t around, in case you’re wondering.)

I glared at him. “I can sing okay, actually.”

“She can.” Allison defended me.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” He smirked.

“That settles it! I’m auditioning tomorrow afternoon. I’ll show you, Nesmith!” I huffed, and then stalked back to my apartment to practice. I was about half way down the street when I realized I had no idea what I was going to sing for the show. How do you get yourself into these things, Katie?

Friday night cabaret at the Vincent Van Go-Go. Allison, Davy, Mike, Helen, Peter, Micky and Josh were seated at a large table near the stage. Oh my god, I’m gonna make a fool out of myself!

I had sung “I Wanna Be Free” for the audition-Davy lent me the lyrics and music. I was going to sing something different for my performance. I had chosen a love song from the musical Cabaret (inspired by the fact that the show was a cabaret) and I had dressed myself in forties dance club attire-short flapper-type dress, heavy eye make-up and my hair slicked down flat on my head. I felt ridiculous.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you to the Vincent Van Go-Go cabaret!” Mr. Vincent, the owner, announced. Wild applause ensued, and I looked at another woman who was performing that night.

“Oh my god, there’s gotta be like, a hundred people out there!” I said in a strained voice. She smiled and led me to her dressing room.

“Honey, you look great. I heard you audition and you sound even better. You’ll do a wonderful job!” She encouraged me while putting on some red lipstick.

“Thanks, I hope so.” The doubt appeared in my voice.

“What’s the matta, doll? First time on stage?” I nodded. She put down the lipstick and squeezed my shoulder. “Listen, I’m a pro. I used to do this kinda thing all the time in New York. All you haveta do is pretend no one is out there, like you're just singing at home in your room. It’s not as difficult as it sounds. You won’t be able to see anyone with all the lights anyway.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

“Hmm…” The brick in my chest lifted a little. “So, what do you sing? I mean, I work here as a waitress, but I’m so busy I never get to see anyone perform.”

“I sing and dance to various numbers. Tonight I’m doing ‘Everything’s Coming Up Roses’ from Gypsy for the finale. Oh, and I’m also doing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ at the beginning of the second act.”

“Wow. I’m on at the end of the first act.” We chatted like that for a while when the stage manager rapped on Janet’s (that’s the girl’s name) door.

“Come in!” She rushed in.

“There you are, Katie!” She tugged me up from my seat. “You’re on in five!”

“Oh my god.” I ran out of the room and waited at the wings for the skit to be over. I can’t believe this! Oh my god, oh my god…

Applause. The actors exited quickly and Mr. Vincent walked on stage.

“It’s my pleasure to introduce to you all a new amateur in our group here. Let’s here it for Katie Jacobson!” I heard more clapping and a bunch of guys whistling. Micky and Davy. I’m going to kill them. Oh god…

The music began and I sauntered on stage. Janet’s right; I can’t see anyone. And I began to sing.

It was over before I knew it. Loud clapping, and not just Davy and Micky whistling. Are people actually standing up for me? I rushed off the stage quickly; I was flushed and felt my heart beat at about a thousand times per second.

“You were incredible!” Janet ran over and hugged me. Some of the other actors hugged and congratulated me, and I still heard people clapping out in the audience.

“Katie Jacobson, everybody!” Mr. Vincent announced, and the crowd went wild again. I heard shouts of “Encore!” but Mr. Vincent introduced the next act anyway. He rushed over to the wings as a man named Roger began singing “If I Only Had a Brain” from Wizard of Oz.

“Hi Mr. Vincent.” I was grinning broadly. He clapped me on the back.

“You are great! Janet, I was thinking of pushing you to right before the end and having Katie do the finale tonight.”

“Groovy! I don’t mind-as long as you don’t make a habit of it.” She joked with me. I was speechless.

“But-but I don’t know that Roses song, I-“ I stammered.

“Do you know any other Cabaret songs?” He asked.

“Um, yeah, ‘Cabaret,’ of course-“

“Okay then, you’ll sing that! Oh, oops, have to announce intermission!” He left with a hurry.

“But-but-“ I gaped after him.

“Listen, I’ll go over it with you during break. You’ll do just-well, we all know you’re good. C’mon.” Janet whisked me to her dressing room and we began to practice.

It was my time to go back on stage. This song was more up beat; I was going to make up some dance moves while I sang.

“-And for our finale, the international, sensational, frauline Sally Bowles! Oops, got carried away there. Due to popular demand, we give you Katie Jacobson, once again!” Mr. Vincent winked at me as I strutted on stage.

I held that last note for a few seconds, and then grinned. The audience were all on their feet clapping and cheering like mad. I bowed and they all whistled and Davy rushed up with a bouquet of daisies.

“You were just fantastic, love!” He shouted over the crowd. The other actors and actresses came out and bowed too, and every one of them toild me I was great or something like that. Finally I could go to my friends waiting at their table for me.

“Katie! Yowza!” Micky yelled and hugged me.

“You have a beautiful voice!” Peter smiled and hugged me too.

“Told you so!” Allison stuck her tongue out at Mike. Helen hugged me too but I was staring hard at Mike, trying to read his expression. He broke into a grin and hugged me too.

“Well, I gotta hand it to ya, Jacobson. You may not be good at much else, but damn you’re good at singing.” I laughed.

“Does that mean I have a spot in the band?” I asked innocently.

“No. No, no, no. That’d be too much of you.”

“Katie.” Josh tugged at my arm. I grinned and I leaned in to kiss him, smearing red lipstick all over his mouth.

“So, you’re the lucky guy, huh?” Janet tapped me on the shoulder and smiled at Josh.

“Yeah, I guess I am.” He answered her, and as they engaged in a brief discussion on theatre I glanced over at Mike. His expression was dark as he glared at Josh. Well, it’s nice to know that you feel jealous, too.

“Katie, we have to talk.” Mike motioned me over to the porch while the others were going to bed. It was nearly three in the morning-we had stayed up late partying-and I was just about to go home, until Mike had called me over.

“Okay, then.” We strolled out to the beach.

“Katie.” He said abruptly.

“Mike.”

“I, ah, know I said I loved Helen before, but tonight I felt something I never have for anyone-I felt it for you though. Without a trace of doubt in my mind, I’m in love. With you.” He whispered softly.

“Ah. You’re a believer, now.”

“I suppose so. I’m a believer.” He scratched his head.

“Okay, did you realize this before or after Josh kissed me?” I hissed angrily. He can’t toy with me, now! Please let him be serious…

“No! It’s not Josh at all!” He exclaimed.

“Uh-huh.” I tapped my foot. He reached down and pulled me into a tight embrace, kissing me in his soft way. I melted in his arms, kissing him back with passion.

“I love you, Mike. I have for a long time, such a long time.” We sat down on the beach just looking out at the dark star-filled sky in silence.

“Without a trace of doubt in my mind…” He murmured softly.

“What do we do about Helen and Josh?” I asked, realizing that our current thing might not bring just nice romantic nights like this, but real misery for two good friends.

“Well, Helen and I already discussed this.”

“What?”

“I mean, Helen told me she has developed feelings for someone else, too.” He sighed.

“Really? Who?”

“You’re not gonna like this, but…Josh.”

“Josh?” I suddenly couldn’t stop laughing. “That is certainly ironic, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” He began laughing too, and we were both in hysterics for a while.

“Well, huh.” I said at last, rubbing my eyes.

“That would make a good song.”

“Well, huh? You’re off your rocker.”

“No! I mean, that ‘I’m a believer’ thing you said.”

“Oh, yeah.” I hugged him tightly, and just held him for what seemed like an eternity. I hope this never ends.

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