everything in bold is my little commentary.
Monkee Mailbox
The ONLY place in the whole wide world where you can write a letter to your favorite Monkee-or to all four Monkees-and be sure that you will get a PERSONAL reply!
Davy’s Craze
Dear Davy, It seems to me that you’re the trendsetter for the Monkees. We all like to keep up on your latest craze. What is it now? Nancy Knickerbocker Duluth, Minn.
Dear Nancy,
I’ve gone ape over tape recorders. I have a little one that I take around with me and its tapes have some of the funniest things you’ve ever heard on them. Recently, at a Monkee photo session, I taped Mike’s favorite saying (to be spoken with a broad Texas accent): “Well, the cows and chickens are lookin’ real good today and maybe we might have some rain if the cows don’t come in.” Next comes Peter’s favorite expression: “All of the people are right some of the time and some people are right all of the time.” Here’s Micky’s: “Haber sakero robber rebben, nath flatch, ober ging fang.” (And we all know what that means!) I’ll close with my tape report (to be spoken in a stiff English accent): “This is Rodney Goodtharken of the BBC, bringing you the most prominent and imminent television about four mop-topped, flopped-top, zany boys from America named the-uh, oh, ah, just a minute please-the Donkeys-er, the Monkees.”
Davy
Monkee Fax
Dear Mike,
Would you please tell me Phyllis’ maiden name, when you were married, and when Christian was born?
Olivia Newkirk
Jacksonville, Fla.
Dear Olivia,
Phyllis’ maiden name was Barbour. She was my college sweetheart and we were married on March 16, 1963, in San Antonio, Texas. Our son Christian was born on January 31, 1964. For complete facts on the Monkees (like these and all others you so often ask) plus inside and up-to-date, true stories about us, I suggest you read our booklet “Here We Are!”
Mike
More shameless plugging! Tsk-tsk, 16 Magazine.
The Truth!
Dear Peter,
I read in another magazine that you have a press agent who smokes a vile cigar; that you live in Beverly Hills in a house like a Mexican fortress with a big swimming pool. I also read that you had a girl writer from a bleep magazine come out and spend the day with you. It was in her story that I read the above. This is in direct contradiction to many of the things I have read in 16. Please tell me the truth.
Nora Smith
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Dear Nora,
Our publicist doesn’t smoke cigars. I do not live in Beverly Hills; I live in Hollywood. I do not live in a big stucco house, nor do I have a swimming pool. As a matter of fact, I did not ever see the writer of the above-mentioned article. But thank you for caring to write, and stay tuned to Monkee Mailbox for the true answers regarding all the crazy rumors and made-up stories that you hear about the Monkees.
Peter
Peter Luvs Mike
Dear Micky,
I know you are tired of us asking, but it seems the columnists keep writing that you guys are breaking up. The latest bit of yuk I read said that the greatest antagonism exists between Peter and Mike. Is this true?
Mary Drexler
Ypsilanti, Mich.
Dear Mary,
T’ain’t so. Last time I saw Peter and Mike, they were holding hands and walking off into the sunset together. No, no, that was just a joke! The fact of the matter is that all of us Monkees get along well, just like real monkeys. We have petty little squabbles once in a while, but our “mad” never lasts longer than a few seconds. On the whole, we all enjoy a really groovy friendship with each other.
Micky
Monkee Thank-you’s
From all four guys to Roberta Garland of Penacock, N.H.: Thanks for the knitted mouse you sent us.
From Davy to Betsy Symon of Benson, VT.: I really love the horse statue you sent me.
From Peter to Knepp, Jacobs and Frank of Akron, Ohio: Wow! I really dig the gigantic rabbit poster you sent me!
From Davy to Patsy Floyd of Phoenix, Ariz.: A million thanks for the groovy chain, and give my best to Mitch and Tree.
From Peter to Karen Keener of Dayton, Ohio: Merci for the marvelous Monkees script you sent me. Though we cannot use it in the show, it’s a groove to have it.
From Davy to Martha Steeves of New York City: Thank you for the “puzzle ring” you sent me. It’s really fascinating. (Would you please send me instructions in your next letter?)
What’s really funny about this particular issue of 16 is that on the back cover it has this ad and it says “Hang on to your old kazoo, Katie” yadda yadda yadda, and Katie’s my real first name. I don’t know, I thought that was pretty kickass.