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I Apologize for All I Will Offend. Insulting
People's Beverage Tolerance is a
Serious A
ttack on Their Man
hood!


And now, I will tell some of the tales of the drunkerds. What would the world be like without alcohol? I mean, imagine all those people who would never have gotten a date without those beer goggles. And we wouldn't have those hilarious stories to tell about people... uhhh... doing stuff. With that, I will go to my close encounter with death. If onyl i wastn' so wastd... speaking of which... joecartoon is a sweet site! Check out Superfly.

There I was, playing Grand Theft Auto III late into the wee hours of the mornin'. (I advise all people to try the game at least once) About three in the morning Brian came in with two high school buddies. As soon as they came in, the room carried the stench of beer and smoke. Brian then introduced me to his buds, both of which staggered over to give me a handshake. Heh, as if they will remember my name in the morning. I got acquainted and soon after, went back to GTA 3. Within minutes the group became extrememly roudy and Brett escorted them over to Brian's room so they wouldn't wake up our other two sleeping roommates. After about ten more minutes of me stealing cars and shooting down 'copters, one of the drunks came back into the room. He was wearing nothing but boxers, a t-shirt, plastic armor, and a plastic shield. I dropped my Playstation controller. Let me take a quote from this incredibly enlightened ethanol addict. As he tried hard to stay balanced, he said "Argh, matey. X marks me bum." [My eyes wide in terror] Please don't kill me. And with that, he ran back out of the room and down the hallway, kicking all the shoes drying off into a big pile. Wasn't Don Quixote a drunk, too?