It's a bad picture, I just got out of the shower. Imagine me as ten times more studly. Yes, I am trying to stall you from getting to my stupid activities. If I'm trying to keep you from reading this page, why am I making it? Well, right now my roommates have a gun pointed to my head and are demanding me to make a page about myself in retaliation for the pages I made about them. I would like to type more, but they are commanding me to move on.
True happiness is found in ways to beat the system. If there's a rule, there's nothing better than getting around the rule without "breaking" it. With that, I will now go into my insanely devious and brilliant plot.
On campus we have these cards called BuckID's. They give us access to buildings, supply food, and allow discounts on many things around campus. Pertaining to the food, the card allows a certain number of meals during the week. I have 14 meals, which means I can eat twice a day, on average. The first week I was here, I was afraid it wouldn't be enough, and so conserved a few meals by eating only once a day. This became a habit (out of fear of not having enough meals. This is completely self-contradictory to having too few meals already) and by the end of each week, I would always end up with 7 unused meals, which go to waste. After four weeks of this I realized that I only needed to eat once a day. When it's all I can eat, the best action is to eat until I'm is stuffed. Then I'm set for the rest of the day. There is an express store other than the commons that allows one to take seven food items of one's choice home. Instead of letting those seven meals go to waste, why not go shopping at the express? Well, my roommates and I are always thirsty during the day... What if I went and got 7 25-ounce cups of whatever I wanted to bring back for the day? I'm sure that would solve our little problem. It was decided on Pink Lemonade. So every evening, this nice cashier that I have gotten to know very well gets the pleasure of swiping my card through the register and letting me go by with 175 ounces of lemonade. I enjoy the chuckle she gets out of seeing me every night, 7:00, carrying a tray filled with red 25-fluid-ounce cups (what kind of container is 25 ounces anyway?). The two-liter in the fridge couldn't handle all the lemonade so we got a 2-gallon container to do the job. Right now we're trying to figure out how many igloos we need to import from Eskimo Country to keep it cold.For some reason or other, the room across the hall trusted us with their key. I cannot believe how naïve some people are. It just so happened that all four of them were leaving the same weekend, meaning there wouldn't be anyone there to hold the fort. They gave us the key just in case of an emergency. Seriously... an emergency? The only emergency I could think of that might occur would be the room catching on fire from overcooked popcorn. Of course we voluteered for the job without hesitation. So here we are, the four of us- with the key to someone else's room. Some crazy stuff happened in their room. I cannot go into that because they have absolutely no clue it ever occured, and we of room 135 intend to leave it that way. I did, however, get this crazy idea. You see, this guy named Brian from across the hall (yes, he was one of the four) has this habit of getting on other people's computers for ABSOLUTELY NO REASON. He then logs into AIM- even though he is right across the flippin' hallway- fifteen feet from his computer- he just has to get on someone else's. What makes matters worse, he has this tendency to scratch himself in certain places ALL the time. You know what I'm talking about. I don't want that stuff all over the keyboard!
He made a mistake when he violated my system. No one gets on my Instant Messenger (even though he was under his own name) and gets away with it. The genius child saved his name and password onto my computer. You know those little click-boxy thingies below the log-in? "Save Password Here So You Don't Have to Type the Dang Thing In Every Time You Log-on", I think that's what it says. Yeah. He clicked it. So I have this opportunity to go on as him, anytime I desire, and screw around with his 112 buddies (I'm not joking about the number). Of course, this isn't enough for me. I have to have complete access to his life. I came up with another innovative idea. What if... what if I deleted the last letter and plugged in every letter in the alphabet? I should eventually type in the right letter, and then AIM would log me on, not knowing any better, and I would know the last letter of the password. For example, the password was six characters long, consisting of numbers or letters (just hear me out on this), so I see a ****** on the screen. I decide to delete the last asterik and insert the letter "a". I try to log-on, and the thing either accepts the log-on, in which case I now know the last letter of his password is "a", or it rejects me (oh, it hurts! The emotional scarring!), and I move onto the next letter. I go down the entire alphabet until it accepts the letter "t", in which case I write down on a sheet of paper. With all this noise coming from my computer of it rejecting my log-ons, Brett comes over to see what's up. I tell him the idea, and he gets quite excited- now I'm recruiting people for the job. I'm making progress until I accidently delete two characters, which stops my plan cold in its tracks. I still have four letters to go. What am I to do?
Easy. Go over, and with Brian's own key, get access to his room and get on his computer- which might have the password saved. I boot up his computer. Bingo! I let Brett do the work for me. He deletes two characters and inserts the "ST". We eventually get it down to one character, by now three other people from the floor are on it, Dan being one of them. Brett and I are now down to one unknown character. *HIOST. We are still completely clueless as to what it might be. You know, there are some things that are just SO obvious, one doesn't even notice them. Luckily, Dan was kind enough to let us in on his intellect and tell us it was OhioSt. Here I thought Brian was just a bad speller. So within ten minutes of entering his room, we shut off the computer, lock the door, and leave. For more details about what happened, click here. The rest is simply too long for this page. I did the same thing to Zack two weeks ago, and spontaneously decided to change his password yesterday, while he was gone for the weekend. You know what it was? "CATCHER". The baseball jock picked catcher. At least I figured this one out before I went through all the characters. He came back today, and I walked into the room JUST as he was trying to log onto AIM. "What the heck?!" [On-line censoring is a part of my page]. After several tries at different passwords, he goes onto AOL (I should have changed that one, too!) and checks his mail to find his new password has been emailed to him. Even after he reads the email, he tries an incorrect two character password (I don't know where he pulled this one from), which denies him. I'm trying extremely hard not to laugh as I hang my jacket up in the closet behind him. I don't know how he could miss theGood News: Kiddies, you can try this at home!
Moral of Story: No one who saves their password on their computer is safe, not even if it's 2.718281828459405...
