Fairy Tales Don't Exist (Complete)

Chapter 1 2 3  4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23  24 25

Chapter 1

The screaming hurt her ears. On and on it went, shouting, yelling, cursing, swearing. The sounds of frenzied sobbing pierced her heart. Her mother was crying again.
"What about the child? We can't leave her without a father."
"I don't care about the child," her father shouted. "I'm tired of your nagging, Agatha. Can't you understand that I don't love you? There's only one woman in my life and I'm determined to be with her. I don't care about you or the girl, or anyone but her."
Vicki pulled the blankets over her ears, screaming inside her heart. Why did this have to happen? Why? Things were never like that before. Once they had been such a happy family which was wealthy and had plenty of influence. Unfortunately her father spent far too much and debts soon found their way into the Zhao family. Her father had become an alcoholic and her mother had worked day and night as a washerwoman to bring in some money. Three months ago her father had gone to the brothel and 'fallen in love' with one of the young girls there. Her mother found it out and after that it had been quarrels, fights, screaming and
crying every night.
"I'll divorce you. You can take the girl and get lost!"
Vicki's heart stopped. *No, no, daddy, don't go, don't go. You're my father, my only father, you can't leave us* Before she could summon up her self-control she rushed out of her room and into the sitting room where her parents were. Her mother was slumped on a chair, crying, while her father stood in the middle of the room, his face red. At least they hadn't been throwing things at each other.
"Daddy!" Vicki cried, kneeling down beside her mother and putting her arms round her. "Don't leave us!"
Her father turned away, not wanting to look at her.
"Daddy, I love you. Don't go. Please."
Her pleas had no effect on Mr Zhao. He simply grabbed his car keys and walked out of the apartment.
Vicki turned to her mother. "Mum, you won't let him go, will you?"
Mrs Zhao looked with tear-filled eyes at her daughter. "Vicki, I will, of course I will."
"But you love him, mum! I know you love him, you've told me so yourself!"
Mrs Zhao smiled bitterly. "Oh, Vicki - it's breaking my heart, but I have to let him go. He doesn't love me anymore - he hates me...he doesn't even love you anymore. I don't want him if he doesn't love me."
Vicki felt as if her heart was being cut up into pieces as she watched her mother cry. Her mind was in a turmoil and she couldn't help but weep along with her mother who was falling apart.

Chapter 2

The divorce papers were signed. Mrs Zhao and Vicki moved out of their apartment and went to stay with Mrs Zhao's sister, Mrs Lin. Mrs Lin had a daughter, Ruby, who was Vicki's age and the two girls were great friends.
When the hustle and bustle of moving in was over, they heard that Mr Zhao had gotten married to the girl at the brothel. Mrs Zhao never said much about it, but her face showed her heart-brokenness. Vicki, too, couldn't quite accept the fact that her father had gotten married so quickly.
Ruby was a wonderful comfort to her. In the nights when Vicki couldn't control herself and started crying, Ruby was always there to soothe her down.
"Didn't you feel horrible when your father left your mother, Ruby?" Vicki wanted to know. Ruby sighed and nodded. "But I believe I didn't feel as badly as you are feeling. I wasn't very close to him and I was sad only because my mum kept crying."
"I will never, never get married next time," Vicki said stormily. "Marriages never work out. Love is false, a mockery. It just makes women cry and men angry. Why is it that in fairytales when they get married they 'live happily ever after'? It doesn't happen in real life, Ruby!"
"True," Ruby agreed. "Fairytales are fairytales, Vic. You can't expect them to be true. Now try to get some sleep. There's still school tomorrow."
"I don't want to go," Vicki said.
"You have to," Ruby said sensibly. "Mum and Aunty Mei will never allow you to be absent without a valid reason."
Vicki groaned and tried to go to sleep.
***********
Alec was entering the school gates when someone called him. Turning round, he saw Vicki and Ruby, two of his good friends, walking up to him. "Hi, Vic, hi Ru!" he greeted. "You ok, Vic? You don't look too good."
Vicki shrugged. "I'm fine. Have Jo and Dawn reached school yet?"
"Shouldn't think so. They're always late."
"Alec," said Ruby, "do your parents love each other?"
Alec looked surprised. "Why?"
"Well, do they?"
"Hmm, I don't know. My dad treats my mum well. They're nice to each other. I suppose they do. Why?"
"My parents have divorced and Vic's parents have divorced," Ruby explained. "Both of us don't believe that love exists."
Alec looked thoughtful. "I'm not too sure about that. I believe in love."
"Why?"
"Without love, my parents wouldn't have gotten so far together. Before I came along my mum had a miscarriage, you know. It was a tough time for her, but my dad didn't leave her in the lurch. When I'm older, I'll find someone I truly love and I'll never ever leave that someone."
Vicki didn't believe him. "That's not going to happen. No one can love another person so much that he won't leave that person."
Alec shrugged. "Well, I'll be different."

Chapter 3

6 YEARS LATER
The sunlight filtered in through the window and fell on the dark head of the girl playing the piano. Her mother sat beside her, her sharp ears picking out the slightest mistake.
As Vicki painstakingly practised on her Mozart, suddenly someone yelled, "Vic! Do you want to go to Coffee Bean today?"
"Ru," Mrs Zhao said in irritation, "Vic's trying to practise!"
"Sorry, Aunty Mei," Ruby apologised, "but Joanna's on the phone and she wants an answer immediately."
"Ok, Ru," Vicki called. "When?"
"One-thirty."
"Yeah, sure." Vicki glanced quickly at the clock. It showed eleven-forty. One more hour of practising and she was off.
Ruby sat on the bed she shared with Vicki, twirling the telephone cord round her fingers as she talked to Joanna, one of her best friends. "Vic says ok. You better not ask me to ask her anymore questions or Aunty Mei will go mad."
"Not my problem whether you get scolded or not, Ru," Joanna said unfeelingly. Ruby pouted, then remembered that Joanna couldn't see her. "Oh yeah, you are so kind," she said sarcastically.
"Thanks, woman. That's such a great compliment. Vincent will be there too."
Ruby got a shock. "What? Vincent Ye? Vic's horrible boyfriend?"
"He's not that bad, Ru."
"He's disgusting! I hate him. Yeah, he's nice and attractive and gentlemanly, but there's just something about him that I hate. I don't like guys whose tongues are so smooth that you could squeeze out the oil. I think he's just leading Vic on."
"Woman, I've gotta admit that you're paranoid. Vincent's not that bad."
"What's he doing with us, anyway?"
"Come on! He's Vic's boyfriend! Any friend of Vic's is a friend of ours," Joanna reminded Ruby. Ruby snorted. "Nothing can make Vincent Ye my friend. Not even if he's married to Vic."
Two hours later Vicki and Ruby arrived at Coffee Bean to find their friends already seated round a table. "I must say you are very early," Alec remarked.
"Well, sorry! We got stuck in the traffic!" Ruby protested.
"Excuses, excuses," said Joanna as she took another sip of her coffee. Vicki's face brightened when she saw that Vincent Ye, her boyfriend of one week, was with them as well. "Vince! What are you doing here?"
"That's a cordial greeting if ever I heard one!" Vincent teased. "Come, sit down beside me. Boy do you look pretty today."
Vicki flushed. "Don't give me that nonsense. I look like a lobster which has just given birth."
"You're right," Nicky said blandly.
"Hey!" Vicki said indignantly.
"What? You said so yourself!"
"Yeah, but you weren't supposed to agree!"
"By the way, you two," said Alec, "how does a lobster which has just given birth look like?"
Vicki looked stunned for a moment, then she laughed. "I don't know."
Ruby was sitting down peacefully beside Charmian when someone knocked into her chair so violently that she flew forward and upset her coffee. She sprang up, yelling with pain as her hand came into contact with the steaming liquid. "Hey!" she shouted. "You! Come back here and apologise!"

Chapter 4

Charmian and Dawn both grabbed some tissues and hurriedly wiped up the coffee while Ruby yelled, "You better apologise!"
Two guys were standing before her, both looking startled. In the midst of her anger Ruby couldn't help but notice that the guy on the left was quite cute and this made her even angrier. "Who bumped into my chair?" she demanded.
The cute guy grinned. "I bumped into your chair. I'm so sorry."
"Sorry my ass! You don't look sorry at all!"
The guy looked annoyed. "I've already said sorry, what more do you want?"
"I want you to buy me another cup of coffee," Ruby said. The guy laughed. "Another cup of coffee? No way, madam. It was an accident. I shouldn't have to make amends."
"With me you better!"
The guy standing on the right looked at Ruby with interest. *hey, this girl is kinda cute, I wonder what's her name* "Hi," he said. "Sorry for my friend's clumsiness. I'm Brian and my friend is Desmond."
"Hi," said Ruby, softening. "I'm Ruby Lin." She turned and stared at Desmond, her expression hardening again. "You!" she said. "Go and buy me another cup right now!"
Desmond looked ready to retaliate, then a humble light came into his eyes. "I'm so sorry to have caused you this accident. How would you like your coffee?"
Ruby smiled triumphantly. "Black and strong with no sugar."
"Yes, madam. I hope after that you will be satisfied and befriend me?"
Ruby looked wary. "That depends. Now go."
Desmond trotted off like a lamb. Brian smiled at Ruby. "Why don't you introduce all your friends?"
"Oh, ok. These are Charmian, Nicky, Vicki who's also my cousin, Vincent," she couldn't help sneering a little, "Joanna, Alec and Dawn. As for me, I've already introduced myself, but I'll do it again. I'm Ruby."
"Yes, I know." Brian turned to look as Desmond came up with a cup in his hands. "Here you are, madam," he said, presenting Ruby with the coffee. "Now will you be my friend?"
"Yeah."
"Let's sit with them," Desmond said to Brian, who willingly did so. Ruby lifted the cup to her lips. The next moment she was coughing and trying to spit out what she had swallowed. Desmond had put in so much sugar that the coffee tasted like 'sugarade'. "You!" she gasped vehemently when she had finished wiping her mouth. "You - you - parasite, jerk, reject, moron..."
Desmond grinned cheerfully. "Thanks, thanks a lot."
Ruby looked ready to explode and everyone thought that the next word she said would have to be spelled with asterisks; but she only stormed off furiously to find a public toilet. Everyone burst out laughing and Nicky slapped Desmond on the shoulder. "Good work, big guy!"
Desmond shrugged and grinned again. Vicki, when she was done laughing, ran off to find Ruby. She found her in the female toilet rinsing her mouth. "Come on, Ru, it couldn't have been that bad."
"What?" Ruby choked. "You are telling me it couldn't have been that bad? You know I HATE sweet coffee! And this is sweeter than - than chocolate! It's like liquid sugar! Boy do I hate that Desmond!"
Vicki laughed again. Ruby swung round to face her. "Vicki Zhao! If you laugh at me one more time I swear I will never talk to you again!"
"How?" Vicki said merrily. "We live in the same apartment and sleep in the same room. How can you help not talking to me?"
"Just don't laugh at me anymore. I'm ready to kill Desmond."
"Oh, do it," Vicki said nonchalantly.
"You do it for me."
"Why me? Why not yourself?"
"Because I don't want to dirty my hands, and he's not worth going to jail for."
Vicki shook her head and giggled. "Let's go back to the table. I wonder what they're doing now."

Chapter 5

The two of them arrived at Joanna and Dawn's apartment fifteen minutes late. When they got there they were greeted by yells. "You two are so early man!" Nicky said.
"Sorry!" Alec apologised.
"The late Alec Su and Vicki Zhao," Char said.
"Arrggh! It's not my fault if the people who fetch me are always late!" Vicki said.
"Never mind, you're not that late," Joanna assured. "Brian and Desmond haven't arrived yet."
"They won't arrive! They will never arrive!" Ruby said loudly. Joanna giggled. "Oh, Ruby, don't worry, we all understand your concern for Desmond."
Ruby glared at her and leaned against the door, studying her fingernails. A loud bang on the door made her jump. "Who is that?" she shouted.
"Desmond and Brian."
"I knew it was that jerk!" Ruby said angrily as she wrenched the door open. Desmond gave her a bland look. "If you knew, why ask?" he said, brushing past her. "Hi, people. Sorry for being late. We got stuck in this massive jam and couldn't get out of it."
"Can we pass the evening peacefully?" Alec asked.
"Please, it's not me making the noise," Desmond said. "It's this young madam here who insists on quarrelling with me."
"Shut up!" Ruby snapped.
"Why don't you show me how to?"
"Just hold your tongue?"
"Sorry, madam, I can't."
"Then keep quiet!"
"As long as you do!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Vicki gave the others a droll look and they retreated into the kitchen. Meanwhile Desmond had switched on the TV and was watching a soccer game. Ruby frowned. "Good grief, do you have any taste at all?" she snatched the remote control from him and changed the channel to MTV. Desmond groaned aloud. "Woman, do you have to fight with me all the time?" he snatched back the remote and changed the channel. Ruby did the same. On and on it went until finally Desmond yelled, "Look here, just stop it, ok? This isn't your apartment, you know!"
"Humph!" Ruby turned her back on him and continued studying her fingernails. Desmond turned his head away and concentrated on the TV.

Inside the kitchen everyone was trying to see what was going on for part of the door was made of glass. Nicky occupied the best place and was sniggering. "What's going on?" Joanna asked eagerly. "Tell me!"
"You know what, guys?" said Nicky, staring through the glass.
"What?" came the impatient reply.
"I had no idea that a guy like Desmond was so interested in Teletubbies."

Chapter 6

At the dinner table everyone talked and laughed except for Ruby, who was obviously in a very bad temper. Desmond ignored her totally and concentrated on flirting with Joanna, who flirted back.
"Useless ass who doesn't know better," Ruby commented loudly. Everyone looked at her. "Who, who?" Nicky asked, hoping that another quarrel would start.
"Who else? Of course this jerk who's making a very lame attempt to flirt."
Desmond couldn't endure that. "I suppose you can do better?"
"Of course." Ruby tossed her head.
"Well, woman, think what you want to think. I'm not interested in fighting with you the whole time, I'm here to have fun."
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"SHUT UP!" Alec yelled in exasperation. Both of them fell silent and poked at their food with faces as black as thunder.
When finally the dinner ended Ruby drove Vicki home. "You know, Ru, you really shouldn't keep trying to pick a fight with Des. He's quite a nice guy."
"Yeah, yeah I know!" Ruby snapped. "Vic, I swear, if you praise him again I won't talk to you."
"Ok, ok! I won't compliment him anymore!"
Ruby seemed to calm down a little. "Say, Vic, do you like Alec?"
Vicki stared. "Uh? Alec? In what way?"
"As a boy."
"Like Alec as a boy? Why do you ask that? You know quite well that I'm with Vince."
"So you don't?"
"Not really. I've never thought about it. You know - Alec - I've known him for so long that he's more like a brother than anything else."
Ruby shrugged. "Then do you like Vincent?"
"Yeah, I like him."
Ruby scowled. Vicki saw it, but decided to take no notice of it. She had truly never once thought about Alec in that way, but Ruby's question made her think. Alec - nah. He was important - more important than Vincent - but just a friend.
**************
Desmond and Brian soon became part of their gang despite Ruby's protests and pleas. Desmond delighted in putting crickets or grasshoppers into her shoes, making her scream and shriek. One time all of them boarded a bus, meaning to check out a new shopping mall. Ruby and Vicki sat in front of Desmond and Nicky, and as the windows were open, Ruby's long hair flew and covered Desmond's face. "Woman!" he said angrily, "I know you're very proud of your hair, but can you not display it in such a conspicuous way?"
Ruby turned round in surprise and saw what he meant. She grinned. "You'll just have to put up with it, won't you?" she said tartly.
Desmond was exceedingly frustrated. He tried to avoid her hair, but it was impossible. At last an idea came to him and from his bag he whipped out a scissors. Silently so that he would not disturb Ruby, he snipped off most of her hair. Nicky saw it and almost died of trying to laugh quietly.
You can well imagine the scene when Ruby got off the bus and realised that her hair was above her shoulder. She rushed at Desmond and punched his nose. "You!" she screamed, "I can't stand you!"
"Then sit down," said Desmond who was suffocating with laughter. "My dear madam, I did ask you in a subtle way to tie up your mane. You didn't, so I decided to take action." He rubbed his nose with an air of sadness. "Woman, you could have injured me for life."
"I want to fight it out with you!"
Desmond pretended to look horrified. "Woman! You can't do that to me! I'm a coward from way back."
"I'm not and I intend to punch you until you're half-dead!"
"Remember, I'll send my medical bill to you," Desmond said calmly and walked off with Brian. Ruby almost cried with anger. The next day she had no choice but to go to the hairdresser and get a proper haircut.

Chapter 7

In a blink of an eye two months passed. The unhappiness between Desmond and Ruby did not stop but at least they quarrelled a little less. Meanwhile the relationship between Vicki and Vincent had become monotonous. Vincent stopped calling her so often and when they went out together he didn't pay much attention to her.
When Vicki told Ruby about it, Ruby scoffed. "Ha. I always knew Vincent was up to no good. Break up with him, Vic. It's no use breaking your heart over someone like him."
"Ru, I can't. I really like him."
"Still..." Vicki looked very undecided and unhappy. "Ru, he's my first love."
"Remember what happened with my parents and your parents? Love doesn't exist, Vic. It just doesn't." Ruby looked very sad. Vicki sighed. "I'm beginning to believe you, Ru."
"Trust me. It doesn't exist."
*************
Vicki thought and thought, but she couldn't bring herself to leave Vincent. She liked him too much to think of breaking up with him. She felt totally lost.
She took a walk in a park not far from where she lived, trying to clear her mind and come to a decision about what she should do about Vincent.
Her heart stopped beating for a moment. Her eyes widened and she was rooted to the ground. Her blood felt like ice flowing through her veins.
Only a few feet away stood Vincent and Charmian. Both of them were busily kissing each other and didn't see her.
Vicki was so shocked and devastated that she could only stand there and stare. Then her shock slowly turned to anger and she was tingling all over with fury. She had never been so angry in her life. She ran up to the both of them, pulled them apart and slapped Vincent. "How dare you!" she cried.
Char gasped. "Vicki! No! I can explain..."
Vicki turned on her. "I want none of your explanation!" She swung back to face Vincent who was clearly stunned at her appearance. "I'm breaking up," she spat. "I don't want to go out with a two-timer!"
Instead of being repentant, Vincent retorted, "Fine! I don't care! I never liked you anyway."
Vicki's eyes blazed and she looked at Char, who shrank back at the force of her glare. "Vic..."
"Don't 'Vic' me! To think that I trusted you and thought you were a good friend..." Vicki choked. She forced herself not to slap Char as well and ran away from them. *I should have known that Ru was right. Love doesn't exist. There's no such thing as love*
Ruby was amazed to see Vicki rush inside the house, her face streaked with tears. "Vic!" she ran after her. "Vic, what's the matter, honey?"
Vicki ran inside the room she shared with Ruby and fell face-down on the bed, crying. Her anger had changed into grief and she cried bitterly while Ruby sat beside her, trying to comfort her. At last Vicki's sobs softened and she put her arms round Ruby, resting her head on Ruby's lap.
"Tell me what's the matter, sweetie."
"I saw Vincent and Charmian in the park snogging."
Ruby was startled. "Vincent and - and Char? Snogging? Char?"
"Yes!"
"Why, that little - ham-handed, rubber-footed bonehead! How dare she?"
"She did, she did," Vicki said brokenly. "Oh, Ru, you were right, you were right - love doesn't exist. Fairytales are nonsense. What shall I do?"
"What shall you do? Isn't it obvious? Break up with that two-timing pimple-faced jerk!"
"I did, I told him that we were through."
"Good!"
"But Char will be over..."
Just then the phone rang. Ruby picked it up. "Hello?"
"Hello? Vicki?"
Ruby recognised that voice. "Char!"

Chapter 8

"Ruby, please, let me talk to Vic."
"No!"
Vicki looked up. "Is it Charmian?"
"Yeah."
"Let me talk to her."
"What? Are you mad?"
"No. Please. Let me talk to her." Vicki took the phone from Ruby and said, "Yes, it's me."
"Vic! I'm sorry."
"How long have you been going out with Vincent?"
"Last month. Vicki, I'm sorry. But I truly love Vince a lot, and I - I lost control of myself. Please forgive me. Vic, I'm really sorry."
"But you wouldn't have been sorry if I hadn't found out!" Vicki burst out. "Do you think this is the way to treat a friend?"
Char was silent.
"You can go and tell that sneak right now that I don't ever want to see him again. Or you. Is that clear?"
"But Vicki..."
"No 'buts'. I don't want to listen to your 'explanations' anymore."
"I can't lose your friendship. I never meant it to turn out like that. Vicki..."
"SHUT UP!" Vicki yelled. "You don't want to lose my friendship? Bullshit! You never meant it to turn out like that? My ass! You knew very well what would happen when I found out! And now I have! With friends like you, I don't need enemies."
Char started to sob. Vicki couldn't bear it any longer and put down the phone. Ruby caressed her hair. "Vic, rest for a while."
"I can't rest. Ru, I need to go to my mum, ok?"
"Yeah, sure. She's in the next room with my mum."
Vicki got up and walked over to the next room. The door was closed. She knocked on it. "Mum," she called. "It's Vicki."
"Vic? Come in."
Vicki opened the door and went in. Her aunty was sitting beside her mother on the couch, holding her hands. Mrs Zhao saw Vicki's pale face and exclaimed, "My dear child, what happened?"
Mrs Lin quietly left the room after placing a kind hand on her niece's shoulder. Vicki then leant on her mother and told her everything. Mrs Zhao listened gravely. When she ended Vicki asked, "What shall I do, mum? Should I forgive Charmian?"
Mrs Zhao was silent for a while, stroking her daughter's cheeks. Then she said, "Forgiveness is important. I know it's very hard to forgive Charmian right now but you will eventually. After all, you have been friends with her for very long. As for Vincent, it's good that you've broken up with him."
Vicki nodded. Then she asked, "Mum, do you ever think about dad?"
Mrs Zhao looked sad. "Yes, Vic." She looked into Vicki's big, expressive eyes. "Vic, listen to mum. Don't think that because of what happened to your aunty and to me - and in a way, Vincent - love doesn't exist. Because it does. It really does. Promise me that next time when someone loves you with all his heart, don't shy away from him because you're afraid of what he might do to you."
"Yes, mum." Vicki snuggled closer to her mother. "I love you."
Vicki didn't notice the deep unhappiness that came over her mother's face. "I love you too, child. Very, very much."
**************
The next day Char stood at the doorstep, ringing the bell. Vicki refused to see her so Ruby chased her away. Two hours later Vincent did the exact same thing. Ruby slammed the door in his face. "Those two are so irritating!" she said with a look of annoyance. Vicki came out of her room and sat before the TV. "If they come again, just slam the door, ok?"
"Yeah. It's going to be fun."
After a while, however, Ruby got tired of staying in the apartment and called Dawn up. She made plans to go out and called out to her mum and aunty, "Going out for a while. Is that ok?"
"Yes," Mrs Lin answered. "Just don't stay out too late."
Ruby smiled encouragingly at Vicki and went out. Vicki sat in the balcony and gazed up at the blue sky, her mind blank. Then she heard a conversation going on between Mrs Lin and Mrs Zhao. In the still air, their voices could be heard easily.
"Agatha, you can't keep it a secret from Vicki. She has to know."
"But Mary, she's just been betrayed by Vincent. It's not a time to tell her."
"Come on, Agatha. Vicki's a strong girl. She'll be able to take the news that you are in the advanced stage of lung cancer."
There was a short pause, and after that pause the two voices began again. But Vicki didn't listen. She was too stupefied by what she had heard. Her beloved mother, her counsellor and best friend, was dying.

Chapter 9

Vicki's throat felt really choked. She wanted to run to her mother, to ask her what had happened, to cry and to tell her that she couldn't die. But she felt so sick and so upset that she couldn't budge from her seat.
"Agatha, it's the time to tell her. Don't keep protecting her."
"Mary, did I tell you that I received a letter from John yesterday?"
John. Her father.
"That rogue? What did he write?"
"He wrote that he was very sorry and that he was living a very happy life with his wife."
"The cheek of that person is unbelievable!"
Somehow life came into Vicki's veins. She got up and, jerkily, made her way to the room where the two women sat talking. She stood at the doorway, tears filling her eyes as she saw her mother's beloved face.
Mrs Lin spotted her and became still. Mrs Zhao gasped. "Vic! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with Ruby?"
"Mum!" Vicki cried. "You can't die!"
Mrs Zhao ran to her and hugged her tight. "Vicki, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier..."
"Mum, when did you discover that you had cancer?"
"About three months ago."
"Did the doctors try to help you?"
"Yes, they did all they could, but..."
"No! Mum, you can't leave me! Please, mum!"
Mrs Zhao started crying. "I don't want to leave you, Vic. But I have no other choice."
"Oh, mum." Vicki hid her face in Mrs Zhao's neck and began to sob as well.
"Darling, don't cry. I won't be leaving you exactly. I'll always be with you."
Vicki would never forget how it felt to be held by her mother, both crying as grief set in. That would remain in her memories when all other events had been forgotten.
Mrs Lin watched as mother and daughter wept in each other's arms. She felt very moved and tears rose up to her eyes. *Oh, God, protect and guide Vicki when Agatha dies. Protect her, God. Don't let anyone harm her. Comfort her, be with her. God, please be with her*

Chapter 10

From then on, Vicki always went to the doctor or the hospital with her mother. She told the rest of the gang, excepting Char, whom she never saw, and all of them were very sorry and very kind. Alec drove her to the hospital and sat with her, talking to her and cheering her up. Vicki found that as days progressed Alec became even more essential to her. He was the only one who really understood her, who could ease her pain and whom she could depend on in every emergency.
Mrs Zhao grew increasingly paler and weaker. The doctor told Vicki that three months was all he could give. Vicki had one good cry that night and after that she faced her mother bravely.
Char tried to call her up sometimes, but she was in no mood to talk to her. As for Vincent, she totally ignored him and deleted all his mails.
Four nights after the doctor spoke to her Mrs Lin came banging on the door of her room. "Vicki! Come quick! Your mother is vomiting blood and she can't breathe!"
The two girls jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. They found Mrs Zhao hanging over the basin, trying hard to breathe. Her face was as white as a sheet.
"Ru! Call the ambulance, quick!" Vicki cried. Ruby sped off. "And Alec, too!" Vicki called after her. She felt that she really needed Alec now.
Mrs Zhao was rushed to the hospital. Alec arrived at the hospital soon after Mrs Zhao was brought into the emergency ward and sat beside Vicki, holding her hand. "Don't worry, Vic," he assured. "Even if Mrs Zhao passes away, she'll always remain with you."
Ruby paced up and down, her hands cold and her body trembling. She prayed fervently that her dearly-loved Aunty Mei wasn't dying. Mrs Lin sat on Vicki's other side with her arm round her.
Vicki couldn't take the suspense anymore and got up. She went over to one of the open windows and stared out into the silent darkness. She began to cry. After a few moments she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned round and was in the arms of Alec. She clung to him, sobbing her heart out. She couldn't bear to think of life without her mother.
Alec held Vicki tightly, knowing how terrible she felt. When Alec was fourteen, his father had died. He had shared a very close relationship with his father and had been devastated when he died. After his death his mother had gone bonkers and for a year had to take pills. Alec didn't want Vicki to go through what he had gone through and mentally promised himself that he would always be there for her no matter what happened.
At last Vicki looked up. Tears shone on her eyelashes and her cheeks were wet. Standing there, she looked like a beautiful angel. Alec felt an incredible love rise up in his heart. "It'll be ok, Vic," he said.
Vicki rubbed her eyes with her hands and smiled faintly at him. "Thank you, Alec," she said. "Thank you and thank you."

Chapter 11

The operation was soon over. The doctor came out to talk with Vicki, and the moment she saw his face she knew that he mother wasn't going to live. "Isn't there anything you can do for her?" she asked after listening to a whole speech of sympathy.
"I'm afraid not." The doctor pressed her hand kindly.
Early next morning Mrs Zhao died. Vicki, Alec, Ruby, Mrs Lin and Joanna went to the morgue later on in the evening to look at the body. As Vicki gazed at her mother's pale face, her grief was dry and hard and she could not cry like Ruby and Mrs Lin. When she went back to her home, it seemed so huge and empty and lifeless - her mother's room so still and quiet.
The next two days was taken up by the wake. Vicki sat quietly with a few of her friends, nodding her head in thanks when someone sympathized and said kind things. She felt very sick of all these well-meaning, good-hearted people who said such hurting things without knowing it. She clung tightly to Alec, who seemed to know exactly what to say and what not to say.
"Vic," Ruby whispered, "look at that man who has just walked in."
Vicki looked and all at once her thoughts went whirling helplessly. That tall, rich-looking man who was standing at the doorway looking at the photo of Mrs Zhao was none other than her father.
The man turned and looked directly at her. Then he walked up to her. "Vicki?" he said.
His voice sent shivers through her body.
"You remember Dad?"
Vicki stood up. "I remember," she said, willing her voice to be steady. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, just paying my last respects," her dad said, shrugging. "I heard about her death and decided to come and see how you were doing."
"I'm fine."
"I can see that. My wife was thinking about inviting you to our house for a week. What do you say?"
Vicki looked at her father silently. Everything about him showed signs of wealth. This man was not in the least affected by her mother's death, this man had treated her mother brutally and kicked her out of his house penniless! And he had happily gone and married another woman. Now he had the cheek to come to the wake and invite her to his house with such seeming carelessness.
"No," she said, looking at him straight in the eye. "You don't even have the right to come here. Please leave."
Her father's eyes lit up with anger. "Why, you..."
Joanna, who had been sitting beside Vicki and had heard everything, jumped up. "She doesn't want to see you," she snapped. "I think that you should just leave. Vicki isn't your concern anymore."
Mr Zhao was about to retort back when he noticed that everyone in the room was staring at him with cold eyes. He decided that the best thing was to retreat quietly.
When he had gone, Vicki sat down and rubbed her eyes wearily. "Seeing him again was such a shock," she said to Joanna. "Hey, thanks for sending him off."
"Anytime, Vic. What are friends for?"
"To tease, to insult, to criticise, to praise, to love, to hate, to admire, to despise, and to be there whenever trouble comes along," said Nicky.
*************
When everything was over, the group sat down and had a good talk.
"What shall we do about Vicki?" Dawn wondered. "She's so upset by her mum's death, we have to do something."
"Everyone, keep quiet and think," Ruby ordered.
"Yes, mam," said Desmond meekly.
"You..." Ruby began.
"Keep quiet, please," Alec said. "I'm trying to think."
Everyone was silent and thought. Then Nicky slapped the table. "I've got it!"

Chapter 12

Dawn found that she would not be able to go, neither could Brian. But everyone else could go and there was an air of excitement as they packed and counted up the money. They booked rooms in Merchant Hotel and Joanna's cousin, Peggy, rented two cars for them. Even Vicki got caught up in the laughter and noise and was seen to smile quite a lot of times.
On the day that they left Mrs Lin made Ruby promise to take good care of Vicki. Ruby did so and they departed happily, everyone talking and nobody listening.
It was a long journey. Only Joanna, Ruby and Alec had enough energy to stay awake throughout the entire plane ride. Vicki, who was sitting beside Ruby, had a hard time trying to go to sleep with her cousin talking non-stop beside her. Finally she said sleepily, "Ruby, I've got a secret to tell you."
"What, what?" Ruby asked, leaning closer to her.
Vicki put her mouth to Ruby's ear and said loudly, "Shut up!"
Ruby jumped. "Ok, ok! I will, calm down! Geez, you're grouchy man!"
However she did quieten down and Vicki went to sleep.

When they landed they collected their baggage while Joanna looked out for Peggy. She found her standing among the crowd with a young man beside her. "Look, there she is!" she said, waving at Peggy who waved back eagerly.
They walked out of the hall and Peggy introduced the guy to all of them. He turned out to be Eric, her boyfriend. "We've got the cars outside," she said. "We've to hurry in case we get booked! So come on!"
Peggy rushed them and they went out into the warm, humid air of Singapore. Two Toyotas were standing outside and Peggy heaved a sigh of relief. "Good, we didn't get booked. Load in your luggage and I'll take you straight to the hotel. Let's get moving! Everything is instant here."
Peggy, Eric, Joanna and Ruby piled into one car while Desmond, Nicky, Alec and Vicki got into the other. Desmond was behind the wheel and looked frightfully important as he followed the other car closely all the way to the hotel.
Vicki watched silently as the landscape rushed passed, scarcely listening to the gay chatter of the guys. Alec, who was sitting beside her, squeezed her hand comfortingly and continued joking around with the others.
They arrived at the hotel about twenty minutes later and the two cars stopped at the driveway. "Unload and I'll go and park the car," said Desmond, tapping his fingers on the car wheel.
Vicki grabbed her bag and got out of the car. As she was going round to take out the baggage, Desmond drove off. "OI!" she yelled, waving her arms. "Come back! I haven't unloaded the car yet!"
"Huh?" Nicky looked startled, then started jumping up and down. "Des! Come back!"
The car disappeared. Vicki started laughing. "Des is a minx!"
Ruby, Joanna and Peggy came up. "What happened?" Ruby asked curiously.
"Desmond drove off with the luggage!"

Chapter 13

Ruby burst out laughing. "Isn't that just like him?" she exclaimed. "Driving off without unloading the baggage! Oh boy! I'm gonna laugh myself to death."
Peggy pulled out her handphone and handed it to Vicki. "I think you better call him and tell him," she said laughingly. "Joanna and I will go and check in."
"I'll go with you," said Alec. "Why don't we all go and stand inside? It's air-conditioned."
"Yeah, let's go in as quickly as possible," said Ruby, disappearing inside the hotel. Vicki punched in Desmond's mobile number as she walked and grumbled. Desmond picked up almost immediately. "Hello?"
"Des, it's me, Vic. We haven't unloaded the luggage!"
"Huh?"
"You drove off without letting me unload the car, you bodoh (dumbo)."
"What? How could you be so stupid?"
Vicki could scarcely believe her ears. "What? How could I be so stupid? YOU were the one who drove off!"
"Now what am I supposed to do?" Desmond complained.
"Go and get Eric's help!"
"Hmm - yeah, why didn't I think of that?"
"Because you're a huge bodoh!"
"You know, Vic, you're not giving me enough credit. Calling me a huge bodoh - why, it really hurts my feelings. I ought to be a LARGE bodoh. Fancy dragging all that luggage all the way to the lift lobby! It's all your fault."
"MY fault? Since when?!"
"If you hadn't walked away from the car, I wouldn't have driven off! And if the girls hadn't unloaded the other car so fast, Eric wouldn't have driven off and I wouldn't have gone off so quickly!"
"Oh yeah? So now it becomes everyone's fault but yours, eh?"
"Yup!"
"Ok,ok, I'll leave you with the luggage now. See you." Vicki shook her head resignedly as she gave the phone back to Peggy. "Trust Des to do something like that and blame us for it!"
Ruby snorted.
"Ru!" Joanna exclaimed, shocked. "Ladies don't snort!"
"Sorry, Jo," said Ruby, looking slightly embarrassed. "I was about to laugh and sucked in my breath too soon. It wasn't on purpose!"
Joanna turned to Peggy. "I remember you saying in the car just now that Ru is very elegant. Well, she just snorted. I suppose she isn't that elegant now!"
Peggy laughed.
"Ok, you guys can stop mucking about now!" said Nicky. "We can go up to our rooms. Who wants to sleep with who?"
"I'm definitely with Vic," said Ruby. "That means that unless Joanna wants to sleep with one of the guys, she's sleeping alone."
"No thanks!" Joanna said at once. "I know how Nicky snores."
"Oh yeah? And how would you know?" Ruby challenged.
Joanna turned red. "I heard him once!" she defended herself. "I was staying overnight at his house with his sister and we both heard him loud and clear."
"I'm with Desmond," decided Nicky. "He sleeps like a log, he'll be able to withstand my snoring. Alec definitely won't be able to."
"Oh, spare me," said Alec. "I think I'll be far healthier sleeping alone than with a snoring pig."
"Hey!" said Nicky indignantly. "I might snore, big guy, but don't you dare to call me a pig!"
"Ok, ok," said Peggy, giggling. "Are you guys going to inspect your rooms or are you going to fool about until the moon turns blue?"
"Peg's right. Let's go," said Joanna. When they were in the elevator, Vicki said wonderingly, "You know, I have never seen a moon turn blue before - so many people say 'once in a blue moon' - but I have never seen a blue moon! I wonder who came up with that phrase. Do you think he was blind or he was just imagining?"
"I think it was both," Ruby said.
Everyone was glad to see that Vicki had momentarily regained her former cheerfulness and chatted gaily. They were still pushing each other about and joking when they arrived at the rooms. After a few minutes of looking around, they heard the sound of loud panting and all looked to see Desmond and Eric's red faces.
"Vic, I seriously have something against you," Desmond complained. "What on earth did you pack inside your bag? I'm about to die."
"Die, it's ok," said Ruby unfeelingly.
"You sillies! Why didn't you call a porter?" Alec said.
Desmond looked mildly surprised. "Yeah, why didn't I think of that?"
"My dear friend, if you continue not thinking about anything, I suggest you consult a doctor or else you will be in a terrible state. You'd have high blood pressure, gout, heart attack, diabetes..."
"Vic, don't curse me!" Desmond protested. "Oi, would you help me instead of standing around like idiots? What sort of friends are you - laughing at someone who's tired out and has suffered tremendous agonies?"

Chapter 14

Alec and Vicki's closeness had been noticed by Desmond and Nicky as well as Ruby, and the same night they attacked Alec. "So lover boy has set his sights on Vicki Zhao, huh?" teased Nicky.
"What do you mean?" asked Alec defensively.
"Why, you are with her all day. You two are so chummy that you've probably decided to get married already," said Desmond.
"Don't talk bullshit."
"Come on, admit it. You like her," Desmond said.
"Like her? You LOVE her!" said Nicky. "Admit it! We won't tell a soul."
"Yeah right."
"Yeah, we're right. We'll be as mum as a mummy."
"I so believe you, Nic."
"You should. Haven't we been friends for years?"
"Yeah."
"Haven't you told me everything?"
"No."
"Um - anyway, we're good friends. Haven't you said that we'll be friends for eternity?"
"Well, the eternity stops now!"
"Spill the beans! Why do you want to be so tight? Having secrets aren't any use. It just makes people wanna nose 'em out," said Desmond sensibly.
Alec looked uncomfortable. "Do I like Vic? I don't know! She's nice, sweet, pretty..."
"Cut the crap. Get to the point," Nicky said.
"All right! I give up! I like her! Is that enough?"
"Yahoo!!! he's admitted it! Now we can get to work!"
Alec looked sharply at Desmond. "What is that supposed to mean? Are you going to try and matchmake Vic and I?"
"You're sharp!"
"Can't you guys leave me alone?" Alec complained. "How would you feel if I tried to matchmake you and Ru, Des?"
"If you tried until your bones broke, you still wouldn't be able to make Ruby like me, or me like Ruby. We're not meant to be an item. But you and Vic - superb!"
"Arrgghh!" Alec knew he couldn't stop his friends. All the same, he couldn't help but feel a little excited. Vicki as his girlfriend? What a hope! Yet it could be possible; she was getting over Vincent and she wasn't so upset over Mrs Zhao anymore. There was hope!

Chapter 15

It was, however, very difficult for Alec to be able to summon up enough courage to tell Vicki that he liked her. He couldn't understand it at all. Back home, he was much chased after and had dated plenty of girls. Now he couldn't even tell a long-time friend that he liked her.
Nicky and Desmond gave Vicki many mysterious hints which made her look totally confused and Alec blush like crazy. Though, of course, Vicki refused to think that Alec liked her and continued to treat him normally. Ruby caught on and joined in teasing them and asking Vicki who she would want to marry if she could marry anyone.
"Keanu Reeves," was Vicki's answer to that question.
"Oooooo, Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOO!" said Ruby, wrinkling up her nose.
"Hey, don't you dare to insult Keanu Reeves!"
"Nah, you weren't supposed to say Keanu Reeves. Mention someone whom you know."
"Whom I know? NO ONE!"
Nicky, Desmond and Ruby all booed. Joanna, who was walking with Peggy, turned around and gave them a quizzical look. "What are you doing?"
"Embarrassing Vicki," Nicky chuckled.
"Big-time!" Desmond added. "She didn't say she wanted to marry me. It's the pits!"
"Marry YOU?! Who would want to marry you?" Vicki asked.
Desmond looked shocked. "Can't you see the lines?" he asked, gesturing behind him. Vicki turned around and saw a fat ugly middle-aged lady ambling peacefully along the lane. She burst into laughter. "Uh, Des, I'm not very impressed!"
Desmond turned around as well and the expression on his face made everyone burst into peals of laughter. "That teaches you not to blow your trumpet, Des!" Alec said between laughter.
On Saturday night, the whole lot of them went to a club for karaoke. Vicki sat in one corner, not wanting to participate in the singing. Although she had gotten over her mum and Vincent, she wasn't as lively as she had been and the idea of singing didn't appeal to her.
At last she couldn't take the music anymore and walked out of the room with the excuse that she wanted to go to the toilet. She went out of the karaoke lounge and into the hall. Leaning on the wall, she looked wistfully up at the ceiling. *oh, mum, sometimes I still miss you so much, I want so badly to hug you again*
"Boo," said someone and she turned to see Alec.
"That was a very lame attempt to scare me, Alec," she said with a faint smile. "How did you know I would be here?"
"I knew that you weren't going to the toilet, if that's what you mean."
"How did you know that?"
"My dear Vic Zhao, I have known you for years. Of course I would know things like that. Come on, let's go for a short walk. I need to stretch my legs after being squashed in that room."
"Ok." Vicki got her back off the wall and they strolled around the club, not caring where they went. Vicki was thinking about her mum and Vincent while Alec was thinking about the dainty, elegant girl at his side. Suddenly he swung round and glared at her. "You're thinking about Vincent," he said harshly.
Vicki stopped dead in her tracks and turned to face him. Her face wore a stunned look. Alec, still glaring at her, said in the same harsh tone, "You're always thinking about him. Wherever you are, you're thinking about him. Do you ever stop thinking about him?"
"I'm thinking about him," Vicki acknowledged. She did not answer his question.
"Do you love him?"
Vicki looked thoughtful. "I don't know. I suppose - he was my first boyfriend, after all. I did like him - I don't know whether I like him now."
Alec looked at her, at her pale, pretty face, at her large expressive eyes, at everything - and knew he had to tell her. He couldn't hold it back any longer.
"Vicki," he said, "I..."

Chapter 16

Alec swallowed. He looked at Vicki, who was staring at him, and looked away. "Vicki," he began again, "I need to tell you something."
"Shoot," Vicki said. "What is it?"
"Look, I don't think you'll accept this but..." he swallowed again and said, "I want you to know that I've loved you since thirteen."
There was a dead silence. Alec quickly glanced at Vicki and saw that she was rooted to the ground, an amazed look on her face. "It's true," he said. "I've - thought of not telling you - but I couldn't stop myself. I'm mad about you - always has been. Remember last time when we were twelve or so, you and Ru asked me how I felt about love? I said that if I loved someone, I would never ever leave that someone. I want to - tell you that I'm not Vincent, that you needn't be 'once bitten, twice shy'." He stopped, feeling that he was saying everything wrong.
Neither said anything for a long time. Then Vicki said softly, "Alec, you - I..." she stopped, unsure of what to say. Then she continued, "I know you're not like Vincent."
A light came into Alec's eyes. "Then you'll accept me?" he asked hesitatingly.
Vicki smiled a little. "I suppose so, because - I like you too."
Alec drew in his breath sharply. "I didn't expect you to say that," he said, laughing. Vicki laughed too and put her arms round him. "You've been such a friend to me, how could I help not liking you? No, you needn't be afraid, I like you as a boy, not as a friend."
Alec grinned and looked deeply into her eyes. He saw what he wanted to see and leaned forward. He was so close that his lips touched hers, and he kissed her.
Vicki closed her eyes and all at once memories flooded her mind. Of Vincent and Charmian. She tried to clear her brain, but that picture kept coming back; on and on and on...she couldn't take it, her brain was screaming as Alec continued to kiss her, suddenly she wrenched away from him and stood trembling before him, not daring to look at his face.
"What's wrong?" Alec asked, startled. Then he understood. "It's Vincent, right?"
Vicki looked at him and he was astonished at the anguish in her eyes. The next second she was gone.
Alec leaned against a pillar and buried his face in his hands. Why couldn't Vicki accept him? Why? Hadn't he shown her that he wasn't a jerk like Vincent? Or was it because...she loved Vincent after all? He shuddered and forced himself not to think about it.
Tears came out of her eyes as Vicki ran back to the hall, collasping onto one of the sofas. She rocked herself to and fro, her heart telling her to go back to Alec and tell him she wanted to be with him; her brain telling her not to go for she would only be hurt another time.
Alec walked back to the hall and stood there looking at her with sad eyes. Vicki turned her head and looked back at him, tears welling up and spilling onto her cheeks. Both were mute. What was there to say?
Then Alec turned and walked back into the karaoke lounge.

Chapter 17

Alec stood looking out of the window and to anyone he would appear as admiring the view, but actually he saw nothing. What he could see very clearly was Vicki's pretty face, the look of anguish in her eyes, the expression on her face when she wrenched away from him. "Vicki, Vicki," he mumbled. "What can I do? What can I say? What can I do to make you believe that I love you and can never leave you, no matter how much I may want to?"

Chapter 18

The next morning, they set off for the airport. The whole way there was filled with laughter, for Ruby cracked several jokes and teased Alec and Vicki mercilessly. Vicki, who sat next to Alec, blushed deeply while Alec joined in the fun.
However when they approached the airport everybody fell silent. Peggy and Joanna both had watery eyes and Vicki and Ruby looked about to cry anytime.
As Peggy had to hurry to work, she couldn't send them to the departure hall and they hugged tightly in the carpark, saying their last farewells. Then, with the girls on the verge of tears, they wheeled the luggage away.
"I hope they'll come back soon," Eric said. "I really enjoyed having them here."
"Me too," Peggy said. "I think Ruby and Desmond will be a couple, don't you? I can see the signs."
"Same here. Come on, let's go." They were just about to get into the car when they heard someone screaming. They turned to see Ruby charging up to them with a red face. "Peggy! Eric! Quick, open the boot! I forgot my suitcase! I was so busy crying that I forgot it...hurry!"
Peggy laughed helplessly as she opened the boot and hauled out the suitcase. "Ruby, you're really the limit!" she said.

Chapter 19

The first thing Vicki thought of when she stepped into her home was Char. Somehow she couldn't help but feel that she needed to talk to her badly, and quickly finished unpacking.
"Why are you in such a hurry?" Ruby asked.
"I need to talk to Char."
"Char? Are you crazy? CHAR?"
"Yes, no and yes." Vicki picked up the phone and dialled Char's number which she still remembered. A girl answered the phone. "Hello?"
Vicki smiled. "Hi, sweetie. It's Vicki here. Can I talk to your sister?"
She waited as Char's sister went off to get Char, and after a short while a sickly voice came over the phone. "Vicki, is that really you?"
Vicki was shocked. This was Char - this sickly, weak voice was vibrant, bright, cheerful Char's? "Char, is that you?" she asked in return.
"Vicki, I'm so glad you've called. I was up nights after you were so angry with me; I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat."
"Char, I just wanted to tell you - ok, I've got plenty of things to tell you. First, I'm with Alec."
"Great. I knew you and Alec would make it someday."
"Second, I'm not angry anymore. Third...Char, say something!"
"Vic, look, I'm glad you're not angry anymore - Vince and I broke up a few days ago - I'm not over it yet, ok?"
Vicki was astonished. "Why?"
"He was two-timing me. Vic, I don't want to talk about it..."
There was something wrong with Char. Vicki knew it, for she had been best friends with Char since very young. "Char, are you all right?"
There was a pause, and Vicki thought she heard a small sob. "Char?" she exclaimed.
"Yeah, Vic, I'm fine. Really." Then Char said suddenly, "Vic - I'm cracking up, man. Everything - Vincent, my future, my mum - everything. You gotta stick by me, Vic. I can't bear it anymore."
"Your mum?"
"Yeah, my dad's on alcohol, my mum's suddenly become so religious, but I know she's just putting on an act - Vic, you have to help me. My whole being is cracked up."
This wasn't Char. This wasn't the Char she had known before the whole Vincent thing started. What could have happened? As for Vincent - that jerk, what could she have seen in him?
"Char..."
"Vic, I gotta go now. Bye." The phone on the other side was hung up. Vicki put down the phone, her mind very troubled. What COULD have happened to Charmian?
*************
"Char? Yeah, I just heard about it from Dawn," Alec said, his arm round Vicki as they stood by a river, watching the river meander by. "She's become really depressed after she broke up with Vincent. Dawn thinks she's on drugs."
"Drugs?!"
"Yup. She's really high sometimes and on other occasions she's in severe depression. She doesn't like hanging around with people anymore, she keeps mostly to herself. She goes about with sore and watery eyes and dilated pupils. She has lost interest in everything."
"No wonder she told me that she was cracking up. Her dad's on alcohol and her mum's suddenly become religious." Vicki's eyes were meditative. "Alec, we're surrounded by broken families - people from painful backgrounds - you won't ever leave me in that state, would you?"
Alec looked down at her, his eyes shinning with love. "Sweetie, nothing will make me leave you," he said, and bent his head to kiss her. Vicki kissed him back, then continued, "My dad left us; Ru's dad left her; Char's dad is on the way to leaving them as well. Sometimes - I'm scared. It seems that it's always the man who leaves."
"Don't you trust me?"
"I do, but - you're male, after all - unless..."
"What?"
"You're female, and I've been tricked by you!"
"Hey!" Alec yelled and started tickling her. Laughing, Vicki ran away and he chased after her. "Come back here, you! I'm gonna tickle you until you can't talk!"
**************
When Alec arrived back home after a very tiring chase of Vicki, he found his mother waiting for him in the sitting room. "Alec," she said, "your cousin Jessica is coming back. You know what you have to do."
Alec stopped dead. Jessica. Oh no. "Mum, I already have a girlfriend."
"So what? Drop her. Jessica is more important."
Alec felt a lump in his throat. "Mum, I can't do it."
"Well," his mum took a long sip of her lemonade. "You choose." Her clear black eyes looked at him directly. "You can either drop Jessica and be homeless, or do what you have to do and have everybody's blessing. You choose."

Chapter 20

When Vicki visited Char she was devastated to see a skinny, pale, sickly-looking girl with white lips and sore eyes. Char threw herself into Vicki's arms the moment she opened the door and Vicki could feel her ribs.
"Vicki," Char whispered, "let's go out and talk. Don't come into my madhouse."
Vicki released her and stood dumbly while Char closed and locked the door. "Where shall we go?" Vicki asked.
"I don't know. Anywhere." Char seemed so listless, so lifeless. "Char, are you ok?" Vicki said concernedly as they walked out into the streets. It was approaching winter and Char shivered as the wind blew against them. She pulled the jacket she had on around her and her teeth started chattering. Vicki put her arms round Char and held her tight to give her warmth. "What happened to you, Char?"
Char shivered again and started crying. "Vicki, I don't know; I don't know anything anymore; I don't have any idea what's going on. There's no life without Vincent."
Vicki pitied Char with all her heart. When Vincent had dumped her and her mum had died, at least there had been Alec to help her. Char had no one. "Char, are you taking drugs?" she asked carefully.
She half-expected Char to get angry, but instead she just nodded her head violently. "I can't stop, Vicki. I'm an addict. I'm stuck on drugs," she said, looking at Vicki with her red eyes. "I don't know how I started; I have forgotten; but I'm a drug addict now."
"Char, you can't. You must stop somehow."
"No one can help me now - no one," Char cried. "Only Vincent - but he doesn't talk to me now, I don't even see him anymore."
Anger rose in Vicki. How dare Vincent do this to her friend and to her? "Look, Char. If you want to stop, I'll send you to the Drug Rebab Centre. It's fine with me."
Char shook her head again. "Vicki, don't trouble yourself with me. I'm in it too deep."
"I don't believe in that. What are you taking?"
Char's head dropped. "Heroin."
Vicki gasped. "Char! This is no good. I don't care. Whether you agree or not, you're going straight to the Drug Rehab Centre."
Char made no reply. Tears fell fast from her eyes. Vicki, looking at her, felt grief replace her anger. This wasn't Char anymore. This weak, frightened, empty person wasn't the girl she had known for so long.
After a while Char couldn't take it anymore and had to go back home and rest. Vicki sent her back home and walked about the streets in deep thought. Then she saw someone and she felt the heat inside her being turned up to a thousand degrees. Vincent.
The thoughts flooded her mind. He had two-timed her. He had two-timed Char, who had been so unhappy that she started taking drugs. And there he was with another girl wrapped round him like a second skin...
Vicki ran forward and pulled them apart, slapping Vincent hard in the face. He gasped and his hand flew to his cheek, which had three long red marks on it. "You bitch!" he sputtered.
"You bastard!" Vicki yelled. "You did this to Char - if she dies, you've killed her!" She swung round to face the young woman who was looking very bewildered. "You better dump this two-timing asshole immediately," she said. "He's probably two-timing you as well! He did it to me and he did it to my friend. Be careful of this snake."
"Vicki Zhao, will you shut up!" Vincent said, exasperated.
"I will never shut up, whenever I catch you with another girl I'll tell her to dump you," Vicki spat and walked away. Vincent was left with the girl, who gave him a disgusted look. "Come on, Anne, you can't believe her."
"Well, I believe her," Anne said, "and I'm dumping you."
****************
Alec sat in the parlour with Jessica. The two of them were very quiet.
At last Alec turned to her. "Jessica..." he began
"I know," Jessica said quietly. "I know that you're in love with someone else. Alec, I'm in love with someone else too. But if we don't marry each other and save dad's company from going down the drains, dad will die. He's already quite sickly, the doctor told us that if the company has to close down he will have heart attack."
"You are prepared to give up your love?"
"Yes. For my dad, I'd do anything." Jessica's eyes were dead.
Alec thought of the loving, caring uncle who had been like a second father to him. Could he really bear to see him die?
"You're right, Jessica." He looked at his cousin, who had once been the most vivid and lovable girl he had ever known. Now she looked so dead that his heart ached for her. After all, they were close friends. He could live with her. Vicki? "I'll speak to my girlfriend."
Jessica did not answer, and they were silent once more.

Chapter 21

Tears dropped from Vicki's eyes and blurred the ink on the paper. Oh Char. Why did you have to give up like that? Why did you have to love Vincent so completely and wholly when you knew what a scrum he was?
She alighted from the bus and walked home slowly, thinking of the many times she'd had with Char. They had met when they were five, and from that day onwards they had been the best of friends. Char. Funny, caring, loving, humourous Char. Clever, sensitive, laughing Char who had the ability to turn everything into a joke without offending anyone. And she had killed herself over a man who wasn't even worth a look from Char.
She remembered clearly that time, at fifteen, when there had been a lot of trouble in Char's family. Char had come to her and let her hot tears drop onto Vicki's shoulder. Vicki recalled her shaking voice as she said, "Vicki, my mum and my dad have never loved each other - and never loved me. No one has ever loved me, Vicki."
No wonder she had given Vincent all her heart when Vincent made the slightest pretence to loving her. Vicki felt a deep, indescribable sorrow for Char.

When she arrived home, she found Nicky and Desmond waiting for her. Her heart sank the moment she saw their faces. Did anything happen to Alec?
Nicky moved forward and took her hand. "Vic, Alec wanted us to tell you that..." he stopped, swallowing hard.
"Did he meet with an accident?" Vicki asked, her throat suddenly very dry.
"No," said Desmond. "He - has gone to America to marry his cousin Jessica."
Vicki couldn't take it in. No emotion at all. Then it hit her like a thunderbolt.
"He told us to tell you that he still loves you and always shall," Nicky said hurriedly. "Vic, you don't look well, sit down."
Vicki obeyed mechanically. Alec - married? Alec gone to America to marry his cousin? "How?" she croaked out. "Why didn't he tell me?"
"There wasn't time to," Desmond said. "He left early this morning with his mum and Jessica. He's probably on the plane right now."
Vicki was speechless.
Nicky and Desmond looked at each other uncomfortably. They felt sympathy for Vicki, but they hated to see a girl cry.
Luckily, Vicki didn't cry. She just said, "I think I'll go to my room." And she left.
Ruby was in the room, looking very troubled. She got up and took Vicki's hands when her cousin entered the room. "Vic - are you ok?"
Vicki's face had gone blank, and from then on she was quiet and unsmiling, as if she had been stunned into silence by the news. She had trusted in Alec, had loved him with all that was in her - and he had betrayed her just like Vincent had done.
She didn't even shed any tears. Ruby had expected her to cry her heart out like she had done before, but this time there wasn't even a drop that Vicki could shed.
Mrs Lin and Ruby did their best, but nothing could shake Vicki out of her calm. She went on with life as if nothing had happened; the only difference was that she neither laughed, joked or smiled anymore. She didn't mention Alec's name either.
After three days Ruby couldn't take it. "Vic, cry! Please! Cry your lungs out and then behave normally! Why are you like that? I can't bear it."
Vicki looked at Ruby with dead eyes. "Ru, I can't cry. I'm sorry, I just can't. Something is stopping the tears from coming out."
"You don't seem sad - nothing."
"Life goes on."
And the matter was left at that.

Chapter 22

Alec, once he was in America, was taken to see his uncle who was quite ill and lying in bed. “Uncle, how are you?” he said, sitting down beside the bed and taking his uncle’s hand.
The old man smiled weakly and affectionately at his nephew. “My son – thank you – I’m sorry for having failed so much in trying to be a good uncle to you…”
Alec shook his head. “I just want to help you, uncle.”
Mr Hsuan looked at Alec and felt some sadness. What was he doing to this young boy? “Alec,” he said hesitatingly, “if you don’t want to marry Jessica, it’s ok.”
Alec laughed bitterly. “Uncle – I’ll marry Jessica and save your business. End of story.” He stood up, hands in pockets, and strode over to the window. He looked out and saw plenty of people walking past. Mr Hsuan watched him intently. “Are you in love with someone else, Alec?”
“What can I say? Of course I am. But I’m not going to change my mind about this matter, so I suggest that you stop trying. I don’t want you to die.”
Mr Hsuan let out a cold grin. “Die! Yes, you’re a good lad, Alec. Is there any way in which I can repay you?”
Alec turned and looked at Mr Hsuan silently. Vicki…Vicki…Vicki…
“No,” he said.
Jessica was waiting outside the room when he went out. “Hey,” she said. He noticed that she looked very tired and very spent. “You should go to sleep,” he said. “You don’t look too well, you might come down with fever or something.”
“I’ll be fine, cousin.”
Alec scrutinized her for a while, then said, “What is it you want to tell me, Jessica? Please tell me now.”
Jessica smiled faintly. “Alec – all I want to say is – I know how awful you’re feeling right now because I feel exactly the same. You – I suppose we’ll get a divorce after we are married?”
Vicki.
“No,” he said, again. “I won’t humiliate you in that way.” He looked straight into her eyes. “You’re very unhappy, aren’t you?”
Jessica shrugged. “I am. So are you. Oh well – we’re a pathetic pair. Look, cousin, I want – to have a good married life. I know very well that we don’t love each other in that way but…I don’t want to ruin my entire life. Alec, this is killing me; it’s killing me to marry you since I love someone else so much…” she swallowed hard. “I don’t know why I’m doing this either but…” she raised her eyes to Alec’s imploringly.
“You don’t have to say anymore,” said Alec brusquely. “I know what you’re trying to tell me.”
Tears came into Jessica’s eyes, but she blinked them away.
**********
“Bye Vic. I’ll call you up tonight,” Joanna said as Vicki opened the door of her apartment. “Yeah – sure,” she said.
Joanna had a strong feeling that she should stay, but she left instead. She could have stayed – but she left.
There was no one in the apartment. Ruby and Mrs Lin were both out. The apartment was unnaturally silent, so quiet that when Vicki dropped her hairpin the sound echoed. As she undressed she thought of Alec, thought of the times she had had with him, and before she knew it she started crying. *oh heaven, why is there so much sorrow in this world?* she thought, blinking the tears away and stifling the ugly sobs. She couldn’t bear the sound. She thought of Char – who had died because of Vincent – Char, who had never been loved by anyone. *Char, I should join you – Char, I’ll meet you…*
Vicki sat in the silence for a while, staring at her wrists. Then she got up and moved with queer, jerky movements to the table where she took out a pocket knife. Just before she held it to her wrists, she closed her eyes and pictured the beloved eyes looking at her – caressing her – loving her…
Slash.

Chapter 23

As Desmond drove, Joanna sat reproaching herself. “I knew I should have stayed with her, but I didn’t. How could I have been so stupid?”
“Stop it! It won’t do any good being like that,” said Desmond, irritated. More tears rolled down Joanna’s cheeks. “Even so – she’s one of my best friends. What am I supposed to do if she dies?”
Desmond didn’t answer. Secretly, he was asking himself the exact same question – what he would do if she died – what all of them would do if she died. Ruby sat in the backseat, burying her face in her hands. *oh God, don’t let Vic die. Don’t let Vic die* “If her major blood vessel has been cut…” she shuddered.
Desmond pressed harder on the accelerator. “Let’s go!”

When they arrived at the hospital, they found that Dawn was waiting for them at the entrance, her face deadly pale. “They need a blood donor,” she cried desperately. “We’ve all tried, but we don’t have the same blood type.”
“I do,” said Desmond quickly. “I’ll donate.”
When the doctor heard about it, he was very much relieved and ushered Desmond into a room. “Lie down here,” he said, pointing to the blue bed in the middle of the room.
Desmond’s mind was in a turmoil. He was so caught up in his thinking that he hardly felt the prick of the needle. He watched as his blood was transferred out of his body and thought, *Yes, more, more. Save her!*
When it was over, the doctor helped him up and thanked him. “Because of you, the girl’s life may be saved,” he said seriously. “Now, sit here and you will be served biscuits and a hot drink.”
Desmond sat beside Brian, silently crunching on his biscuits. Joanna was evidently very perturbed while Ruby tried to comfort her. Dawn looked troubled as she paced up and down.
The suspense went on for another three hours. Mrs Lin arrived very soon, her face white with the shock. She sat in between Ruby and Joanna, very silent and very nervous. At long last the doctor came out and spoke to them. “She is very lucky,” he said. “We have managed to sew back her blood vessel, for of course she cut it. She lost a lot of blood, but thanks to the gentleman, she shouldn’t be in any danger before long. Her wrists will be quite normal after about five to six months. She’s sleeping now, and we are keeping her under a twenty-four hour watch in case she tries to do anything to herself when she’s strong enough. I suggest that some of you go and talk to her, try to advise her and listen to her problems. I don’t know why she attempted at suicide, but I have a feeling that she’s very troubled inside. So try talking to her, will you?”
All of them nodded.
“When may we visit her?” Joanna asked.
“Next week. Right now she shouldn’t be disturbed.”
When the doctor left, they heaved a sigh of relief. “I think Alec should know about this,” said Dawn angrily. “See how much he has made her suffer – to the point of her committing suicide!”
“I’ll send him a mail,” Brian offered. “I think he should know about this, too, and have second thoughts about marrying his cousin. And Nicky, too.”
“Oh yes, Nicky,” Desmond agreed. “Ok, guys, let’s go back to Ruby’s apartment now. There’s no point in hanging around here.”
Ruby supported Mrs Lin as they went out of the hospital. “Thank God, thank God,” Mrs Lin whispered. *Agatha, I’m sorry. I didn’t take good care of her…Agatha, I’m so sorry*

Chapter 24

Vicki’s just tried to commit suicide by cutting her wrists. She’s in hospital now and might pull through. Thought that you might be interested. Ciao~

Alec’s jaw dropped. Vicki – commit suicide?! Vicki? How could Vicki have wanted to commit suicide?
His mind answered him. *She tried to commit suicide because you dumped her and came to the U.S to marry Jessica* Alec slumped in his chair, pale with shock. Heaven, what had he done to her? What had he done to her? Why had he ever agreed to marrying Jessica?
One thing became clear to him: he had to go back and see if Vicki was ok. He had to. He had to break off this engagement to Jessica; if he didn’t, Vicki might try to cut her wrists a second time. He couldn’t let that happen.
“Alec, what’s the matter?”
He turned and saw Jessica standing by the doorway. Her face was very white as if she had received a shock as well. Frowning, he asked, “What’s wrong with you?”
“I just found out that my boyfriend was involved in a serious car crash last night and now he’s dead,” Jessica replied in a monotone. “It was on the TV. What about you?”
“My girlfriend – or rather, ex – tried to commit suicide.”
For a while Jessica and Alec stared at each other in amazement, then Jessica let out a wan smile. “What a coincidence.”
Alec rose from his chair. “Jess – I can’t marry you.”
There was no surprise on her face. “It’s ok with me – I understand. But my father, Alec? What about my father?”
Alec’s head ached horribly. Yes, he needed to see Vicki. Yes, he didn’t want to marry Jessica. Yes, he wanted to get back with Vicki. But his uncle…the man who had been so kind to him and had done so much for him and his mum…the man who had showered him with fatherly love and had helped to build up his father’s business. He couldn’t do this to Mr Hsuan. Couldn’t – be so heartless, so ungrateful. No matter how much he loved and needed Vicki.
He raised his head to look at his cousin. Jessica’s eyes were dead as if she had died along with her boyfriend. He knew how much hurt she was going through at this point in time. “I’ll talk to Uncle,” he said.

Mr Hsuan listened to what Alec had to say without uttering a word. When at last Alec finished and looked expectantly at him, he found that he had nothing to say. His company meant all the world to him, but his nephew – Mr Hsuan was kind at heart and he truly loved Alec. He knew that Alec didn’t want to marry Jessica and the only reason why he had agreed to it was because he felt that he needed to repay his uncle for all his former kindness. He had known that Alec would be desperately unhappy with Jessica, yet he said nothing to dissuade Alec from marrying his daughter except for the few words when Alec first visited him.
Alec was waiting for him to say something, so he spoke. “What can I say, Alec? It’s ultimately your choice. You know that I want you to be happy.”
“Wouldn’t you be very – unhappy if I backed out of it?” Alec asked hesitatingly.
Mr Hsuan didn’t answer him.
Alec sat on the armchair, staring into space. This was the hardest decision he had ever made – the choice between his uncle and his girlfriend.
***********
A week after Vicki had attempted at suicide the group went to visit her at the hospital. They brought baskets of fruits and some bouquets of flowers along with them, and all were shocked to see her so sad-looking, but they tried not to show it.
“Hi, Vic,” said Ruby, putting on a cheerful voice. “I begged and begged the doctor to let me come and see you, but he was merciless and only today he allowed me to. How are you doing?”
“Ok,” Vicki answered in a low voice.
“You mustn’t do anything to yourself after this, you know,” said Brian. “You gave us all such a scare.”
“Yeah. Char’s suicide was bad enough, we couldn’t stand it if you died too,” Dawn said.
A tear ran down Vicki’s cheek, but she didn’t reply. Joanna, looking at her, felt a deep anger rise up in her. How could Alec have done such a terrible thing to Vicki? Running off to America to marry his cousin…yet Joanna felt that Alec had his own story to tell. There had to be a reason why he had left Vicki like that.
When everyone left, Vicki lay in the room looking up at the ceiling. Her thoughts turned to Alec. It wasn’t uncommon; she thought of him ceaselessly. The sting never left her heart, and she was really desolate inside.
She remembered the times when they had been kids; they had been such good friends, confiding in each other, loving each other as only children can love each other. She smiled a little, thinking of those times. If only she could turn back the clock, right back to childhood, it would be so lovely – to relive her life again. Then she thought of when she and Alec had been a couple for that short while. Even though it had been so short, the love between them had been so solid, so intense that no one ever dreamed that they would ever break up. And they didn’t believe it, either. Until Alec had gone to America, until she had found out that he was going to marry his cousin. Vicki couldn’t quite express what pain she had felt when Alec left her. It hadn’t been only because of the relationship, but because all her life he had been such a good friend of hers. It was terrible to lose a friend like that; terrible to lose a boyfriend like that.
Another tear rolled down her cheeks. She had forgotten how to cry during the first few days when the news was brought to her, but she had cried before running the knife over her wrists. Now, as she cried, inside her she felt so numb that it was almost as if she was watching herself cry. She watched the girl with such pain in her heart that she had become numb with the hurt. She saw the girl’s desperate unhappiness and loneliness. And she despised the girl for feeling that way, and for crying out her sorrow. Brave girls never cried.

Chapter 25

The airport was, as usual, bustling with activity. The group sat down on some seats and waited impatiently for Alec and Mrs Su to turn up. Finally Dawn exclaimed loudly, “There he is! Look!”
Alec waved at them when he spotted them. “Hey!” he shouted. “Hey! Good to be back!”
Vicki stood up and looked at him. Alec’s grin grew bigger as he dashed up towards them and headed straight for Vicki. “Mad at me, sweetie?” he said humbly. Vicki’s eyes misted as she looked at him and thought of the horrible months she had spent thinking that he no longer cared for her.
With a cry of joy, she threw herself into his arms, and everything was said and promised in that one hug.

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