Silent Tears
Chapter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Vicki stood there, staring aimlessly at the blue sky. It was a beautiful day, no clouds, and the soft tweeting of the birds could be heard over the horizon. But all Vicki felt was this emptiness...how long had she exactly stayed in this hospital? 1 week? 2 weeks? A month? Vicki could not remember...All she did each day was to stand here, at the window, and memories would flood back..Memories of her Mother pushing her out of the car, Vicki sitting in horror at the side of the road as her mother's car slammed right into the oncoming drunk driver. The blood that had trickled slowly down the glass window, and the sickly slump of her mother and sister's heads. Nothing could have prepared her for that. Nothing.
"Hi...I'm Alec. Nurse Lim asked me to come, I'm a volunteer here, and Nurse Lim wanted me to talk to you...Of course, if you don't want to talk..its okay, I'll wait..." Alec laughed nervously, how could he be intimidated by that small figure at the window? The girl did not seem to have taken notice of him. Of course, Alec did know that she would probably be hard to get close to, being a Zhao daughter and all, and the reason that she refused to say anything...but why couldn't she just look at him, and let him know that he wasn't being a fool coming here to talk to a lost case! "Look, I know that I shouldn't be saying this, but can't you just do something? I mean..I'm doing a good deed here, coming to talk to you..." But once the girl turned to look at him, Alec immediately regretted losing his temper. The girl was very pretty, no, beautiful, but her eyes held sadness, despair..."I'm..I'm sorry." Alec muttered. Was this really a hopeless case?
Vicki watched as Alec pulled out a large, long box from his bag. "Scrabble? Nurse Lim told me that you like it..." Alec gave a feeble attempt to smile, and immediately felt like whacking himself. A young, powerless girl, and he was just so intimidated by her...did he still call himself a man? Vicki walked over and sat down beside him on the bed. Without a word, she took out the cover, laid out the scrabble boards and scrabble tile holders. Alec watched as she picked out 7 letter for herself and then pushed the bag to him. As Alec arranged his chosen tiles on the holder, he couldn't stop watching the girl infront of him, wondering what was going on in her mind, what had really happened to her. Of course, he still didn't expect her to talk but...
"Argh...you're good at this, don't you know?" Alec raised an eyebrow at Vicki. He had passed his turn for 7 times straight. A smile twitched at the corners of Vicki's mouth, threatening to burst into a big grin. Suddenly, she grabbed a paper and pen, scribbled something on it and handed it to Alec. "Bet you didn't know that I was champion for my school's scrabble competition, Nurse Lim must have forgot..." Alec laughed, no wonder she keeps winning he thought. Then, Alec stopped laughing the instant he saw Vicki's face. Her mouth was curved at the corners, watching him laugh, but her eyes were still dark...unsmiling unlike the rest of her face, could there really be a person like this?
Vicki noticed his shocked expression, and her smile immediately disappeared. It was strange...to have a person looking at her that way..Of course, countless of psychiatrists, doctors and nurses came in and out, giving her the same weird facial expression...but it just made her feel like an ailen, someone who wasn't like that, a jinx.."Please...go out.." Vicki wrote on the paper. Alec took it from her, "Vicki? I...I...okay...I'll leave now.." A dismayed look spread all over his face as he slowly picked up his bag and the box and walked out of the room. Vicki felt a sense of disappointment go right down into her stomach, she had been so sure that perhaps this guy would have understood her...maybe it was just that he seemed closer to her age, but Vicki frowned grimly as she thought of what was probably going on in Alec's mind, "Mission, failed." He probably wouldn't come again.
"Nurse Lim? Its Alec." Alec knocked gently on the door that had the sign, "Nurse B.Lim." "Come in." A voice came from the room inside. Creaking the door opened, Alec found Nurse Lim at her table, surrounded by countless stacks of papers. "Yes, Alec? What did you want to see me for?" Nurse Lim pushed up her large spectacles, not taking her eyes off a document she was reading. "Nurse Lim, I think I will give up...I can't do anything with Vicki Zhao." "And why Alec?" Alec cleared his throat. Why? "I...I...I made a silly mistake." Alec immediately regretted saying that, what a stupid answer! Nurse Lim put the sheet of paper down. "Alec, one day...one day and you give up? Why do you think I trust you so much, I feel that you could be the one, to break through the hard wall that surrounds Vicki, and bring out her happy spirit again. How would you feel if you were her, somebody, who just had her whole happy world crushed down, and then person after person gives up on you...I do sympathize with her, after all, she was one of my 'daughters', she also worked here as a volunteer too, just that she worked in the childrens' section..." Nurse Lim's eyes as she thought of Vicki working amongst the happy children, their tiny hands reaching out for her to hug and carry them...they loved Vicki, and she loved them back, it was a perfectly beautiful sight, watching them being so happy together...But now the children cried for their big sister Vicki, wondering where she had gone to, leaving them all alone...Alec smiled at Nurse Lim. "Very well, I promise you, I'll change her, I'll do it.." He said determindly, but actually, he was unsure himself...
Alec peered round the entrance of the children's ward. A nurse was in there, tending to the children's meals. "Mr Su, what a pleasant suprise! What are you doing there?" The nurse's bright voice startled him as she appeared right infront of him. Without any choice left, Alec stepped out. "I just want to talk to the little kids in there...You know, stand in for Miss Zhao?" Alec gulped. "Miss Zhao? Oh...it really is such a tragedy, that happening to her....the kids have been calling out for her, I'm so glad you're standing in, I have to go now, don't worry, they are very friendly.." The nurse flashed him a friendly smile as she walked out. Alec scanned the room, the walls of the room was painted with animals, all with big smiles on their faces. The children chatted excitedly as they munched on their food, and even though of the obvious bandages and bald heads they head, they still seemed carefree, as if they were still in the pink of health, and was never sick before. Alec stepped into the large room nervously. "Hi kids!" He grinned cheerfully. The children gave him blank stares, who was this mad man who just barged in and introduced himself? "I'm Alec, I'm standing in for Miss Zhao, you know, Vicki?" Alec gritted his teeth nervously. "Please, don't let Nurse Lim find out...please..." He mumbled silently to himself. The main purpose for his visit was to actually find out more about Vicki, and he had decided to start in the children's ward, where she had volunteered at before.
The children sat up excitedly upon hearing Vicki's name. "Vicki? Miss Zhao? Quick Alec, tell us, where is she? I thought I saw her picture on the front page of a newspaper that a nurse was carrying today." A small boy jumped down from his bed and tugged on his shirt, several kids followed suit, and Alec was rendered helpless. Was he supposed to tell them that their beloved 'sister' was now in a hospital ward close to theirs, and had just about given up on herself too? Could he bear to let them walllow in more despair, adding to their own burdens that were on their tiny bodies? Why did life have to do this...Alec thought as he stared around the room. These kids just wanted to be normal, have a good life, grow up, find their life partners, but now they were stuck in the room, hanging by a thread, some afflicted with leukiemia, others cancer, and many others. And they were so young. And life also caused a young lady, who had tremendous potential, a great talent, and a big heart for loving others, to lose everything she had. Family, money, and sometimes even friends. And life was supposed to be the start of a new beginning....
"Mr Su, I'm sorry, its nap time, the children have to sleep now." The kindly nurse had reappeared and slowly ushered him out of the room. "Please, don't tell them anything about Miss Zhao, they won't be able to handle it." She whispered. Alec sat down outside the ward and watched as the doors closed on him. Vicki, she had such a great effect on these young lives, what about now? Alec really wanted to know what the real Vicki Zhao was like, whether she was as confident, as lively, as sweet like the hospital staff swore by, and whether she would be able to revert to her old self, if she could, that would be a battle won by Alec, but not an easy one. "Hi, I've never seen you around before." A young voice broke into his thoughts. Alec found a young boy sitting beside him, clumsily swinging his legs back and fro. He was frightfully thin, with arms that looked like sticks and sagging cheekbones. "Yes, I work in the adult section usually, I just came to take over Vicki Zhao, you know her?" The boy shuffled nervously. "Yeah, she helped me alot, convinced me to go for dilyasis and all...You see, I'm an orphan, my parents died 2 years ago...And I, I just refused to go for treatment because, there was no meaning in life anymore...but Miss Zhao, yeah, she helped me, she helped me alot..." The young boy seemed to be trying to keep a wide grin from sprouting all over his face. Alec could sense that he was trying to act 'cool', as all young boys his age tried to do too. "Bye, I have to go now." The boy got up and wave gently as he walked off, Alec smiled, the boy just didn't know what an impact he had made on his life.
"I'm back." Alec watched Vicki. She was at the window again, staring outside blankly, as if the outside had the whole true meaning of life out there. "Vicki, I've been checking." He countinued talking, when she didn't answer. "There are children waiting there for you Vicki! Children that want you to go back and laugh with them...how can you be so cruel? Just go back and talk to them Vicki, its almost your last day here, just become the old Vicki for one more day, please, and I won't bother you anymore..." Alec was almost shouting. She was too selfish, first, she had made people love her, want her to be around them, and now...just because her life had gone wrong, she couldn't be bothered about anything else. Alec turned to walk away, hoping that his words could finally move her into coming out, but instead, CRASH! The sound of glass breaking sounded behind him...
"Alec, you're home!" Mrs Su's cheerful voice rang out from the living room. Alec's family was rich, as his father was the chairman of the family business, one of the biggest banks in Hong Kong, but Alec prefered to live simply, that's why he volounteered at the hospital. "What again Ma?" Alec frowned. What more could his mother do than play mahjong, go shopping and look for prospective daughter-in-laws as a Tai Tai? Now, her friends were not around, and Alec had already spotted the numerous shopping bags on the table, so now it had to be the last option. "Quick, Xiao Peng, Mrs Lim and Mrs Chan gave me some photos of their daughters and nieces, all very pretty and rich young ladies, come and see..." Alec walked into the room wearily. The coffee table was scattered with many photos, all pictures of young ladies. He duitifully sat down beside his mother, and Mrs Su excited picked up a photo and shoved it infront of his face. "Look, Ms Cheng, niece of Mrs Lim, her name is Stephanie, very pretty right...Her father is the director of a large music company..." Alec could do nothing but smile at his mother's enthusiasm and take the photo from her. The word Stephanie Cheng was scribbled at the top right hand corner of the picture. Sure, the girl was pretty, but she was wearing this dress that barely covered her body, and her face had this slutty look on her face. Zonk. Not his type, scratch off. Alec took photo after photo from his mother's eager hands. Regina Huang. She looked...she just had this cheesy smile on her face, airhead probably. Mrs Su rumbled off names after names until Alec couldn't catch on any longer. Finally, he gave up, and sank back into the sofa.
"Alec, are you listening! So, which one is nice? I could arrange a date you know..." Mrs Su smiled at her son. Alec repaid it with a weak one, he didn't like all of them, he wanted to find a girl he really liked and wanted to go for, without any help. He wanted a girl, who wasn't an airhead, who was demure, but still had a little spice in her, who was good at heart, and didn't throw herself at eligible men. He wanted someone he could feel that he wanted to protect from all harm, she didn't have to be pretty, but if wouldn't hurt if she actually were right? His mother just didn't understand that he didn't want any of those rich girls, the word 'rich' was just the problem with them. Having money made them feel like they owned the world, and they always went out to buy the most expensive clothes, that almost didn't cover anything. Even those not-so pretty ones went all out to buy all those gunk to splash on their face, but that just made it even worse. Alec only wanted to be with a simple girl, who didn't ask for much, and someone he could talk to, but with his postion in society, it might just be an impossible wish.
Vicki sat in the pitch-black darkness of her lonely ward. Her hands still hurt, but not as much as they were when they were bleeding. A large ball of bandages was wrapped around her head, and it made her rest her head on the pillow at all times because of its weight. "Why did I do that?" She thought to herself. Had she really changed so much? She had just lost her mind when Alec had came to her room the day before and rebuked her, and told her that she was leaving the hospital soon. She just didn't want to go back, to go back to all those painful memories. Everyone was dead, the house was the only thing left, but didn't they understand? It was just too lonely there...Vicki didn't want to be left all alone with her thoughts, because everything would come back in a rush...and it was just too painful...And then, the young children that Alec had spoken of. "I'm so sorry....I miss you all so much...but, I just can't, I just can't let you see me like this...I love you all..." She thought silently to herself, tears rolling down her cheeks. She kept thinking of young Jimmy, Alice, Mark...She wanted to be in that room again, to smile and laugh with the young children, to listen to their dreams and comfort them when they cried, but life was too cruel now, she thought bitterly, she had to fight back...
"Be careful, there's a step here." Vicki's eyes squinted at the bright sunlight as Alec gently led her out into the hospital's private garden. The garden was empty, the happy sounds of birds flying freely in the skies and the wavering smell of the blooming flowers flowed slowly around the garden, it was like a picture from a book about a fairytale, as beautiful as ever. Vicki sat down at one of the nearby wood benches, and she cupped one of the red roses in her hands, enjoying the sweet smell that it gave out, and smiled gently. "Wait here, I'll get a camera.." Alec jumped up like a little boy, grinning like a monkey. He paid no heed to Vicki's vicious shakes of her head, and ran off towards the hospital block. Vicki uncupped her hands and tilted her head towards the sky. When had she last been in a place like this? One month? Two months? Half a year? Her father's residant gardener had always chased her out of the garden ever since she had 'accidentally' uprooted his precious rose bushes with a lawn mower, while fooling around with some of her schoolmates. Vicki smiled at that precious happy thought. Her family's various workers had all been dispatched after her father's business had failed, in one day ironically, and had all been sent to other families to work. They had all sad looks on their faces as they clutched their bags and walked away from the mansion's gates...especially Vicki, as she looked down from her room window, 2 hours before her mother and sister died. The family's workers had always been kind to her, the cook always had a bag of potato chips hidden away for her, even though Vicki's mother had put her on a strict 'no salt' diet, the servants always tried to clear up her messy room for her, (as much as they could possibly do) even though they weren't capable of much, and even the grumpy old gardener always had a small bouquet of flowers for her on Monday mornings. (Vicki had made it up to him by buying him 4 sacks of his favourite fertilizer, all for his own use.) "I'm back, Vicki, smile!" Vicki quickly raised her hands to shield her face, but Alec was too quick, and the flash clicked in her face.
Alec pulled the just developed photos out of its bag. One by one were ordinary photos that were taken on his trip to Australia with his university friends, cheesy smiles, great scenery and just plain beautiful people in the photos. Boring, boring, boring. Alec threw the photos one after the other on the table, until he came to a 'special' one, one that seemed out of place. Another photo of a girl posing on a baby blue background. "Mom must have smuggled this in..." Alec muttered to himself. He recognized the girl as Judy Kang, daughter of business man Mr Kang, who ran a dot-com company. She mixed around with the so called high class people in Hong Kong, gaining much reputation for herself. Both bad and good rumours flew around the gossip pages of the tabloid newspapers, things like she was the third party in the 10 year relationship of a famous actor and his equally famous actress girlfriend, but it was also reported that she gave generous donations to the hospitals, and it was even rumoured that she had a crush on Alec. But whatever, he didn't like her, and her expensive clothes, her state of the art jewellery and her perfectly manicured nails...Suddenly, a photo slipped out from his hands onto the marble floor. Gingerly, Alec bent over to pick it up, but then dropped it again when he saw it. It was a photo of Vicki. The one that he took at the hospital's garden. Her hands were half covering her face, showing only her eyes and smiling mouth, she looked so beautiful all of a sudden...
Alec picked up the photo and gently placed it on the table. He slowly traced the outlined of her eyes, and gazed in wonder, her face looked happy, but it still couldn't get rid of the shadow of unending sadness that resided in its eyes. Her lips were parted, revealing a set of pearly white teeth, and her hair wisped gently around her face. Perfect, just perfect, Alec thought, she was probably one of the most beautiful girls he had seen before. Taking out a thumbtack from his drawer, he pinned the photo onto his notice board.
"Thank god you're here Mr Su...please, talk some sense into them, they refuse to eat..." The nurse rushed out of the children's ward quickly, holding still-full bowls of porridge. Alec grew worried, and quickly stepped inside. But all he could sense was a certain feeling of gloom and sadness, as the children lay in their beds, sombre expressions on their young faces. "What's the matter?" He gently questioned as he stood beside the bed of a young boy, who he came to know as Mark. "You lied. Go away, I don't trust you anymore, and neither do we." Mark looked away, his jaw set and rage boiling in his eyes. "What happened?" Alec looked around the room, and one by one, all the children looked away, even Mary, the sweetest of them all refused to look at him. "We saw Vicki jie jie today, you told us that she was on holiday, but she's actually in the hospital, you're a bigger liar than my father!" Mark shouted at Alec. Alec could see that Mark was bravely trying not to let the hot tears drop from his eyes, and suddenly felt a sense of despair creep up his throat..."Mark, I...I...I just didn't want you're to be sad, and....and...." Alec was speechless. "Nothing to say right? We no longer welcome you here, go away!" Mark folded his arms and jumped off the bed. Stamping his foot on the floor, he ran into the toilet and slammed it.
"Vicki, I really don't know what to do...The children won't talk to me...I just don't know what to do already...I really suck at being a volounteer..." Alec buried his head in his arms and kicked the bed angrily. Frustration was really boiling up in him...He had gained the hatred of the lovable kids that he liked so much, he wasn't making any progress with Vicki...Life was really bad. Vicki scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to Alec. It read : "Sorry. Very sorry. I just didn't know that they would see me, all I wanted was to...to have a glimpse of them." Alec looked up and Vicki and smiled. "Its not your fault...But can't you just go and see them? They really love you so much..." Alec pleaded, but Vicki shook her head immediately. "No, no...no way.." The four words appeared on the paper. "But why?" Alec pressed on, but Vicki just walked away shaking her head..."Never...never...I don't want to be their role model anymore, I deserve to be shut away..." She thought.
Alec sat on the couch, staring blankly into space...What could he do? Vicki probably had already given up on life...But a person of her caliber and beauty shouldn't be shut up from the world...She could do something great, something to make the Zhao name heard..."Alec darling, have you bought a new tuxedo yet?" His mother appeared at the door, her face was covered with some mixture that looked like mud, and her hair was wrapped up in a towel. "A tuxedo? For what?" Alec put on the blur look of his, silently begging, "Please, let her allow me not to go...please..." "Alec, how could you forget? The ball at the Fang's estate is in a week's time, you must go! All the daughters of the prestigious families in Hong Kong are going to be there..." Mrs Su put on a wry smile, no way her son was going to get out of this, she wanted a daughter-in-law, as soon as possible.
Alec sighed as he draped his hands around the girl he was dancing with. Her hands clutched tightly to his waist and shoulder, smiling triumphantly at the girls who were standing at the side, jealous. This rich lady, Fiona Chang, she was okay looking, not too bad, but her face was practically caked with makeup, and her dress, it seemed like she was some disco ball. Alec longed to be back in the hospital, just engaging with some simple 'talk' with Vicki, her pencil and paper, and his mouth. Her large eyes twinkling with laughter after hearing the antics that the hospital children got up to, the way she tickled him everytime he said something wrong, and the way she never seemed proud or haughty at all...A girl who was once the daughter of the richest businessman in Hong Kong, it was almost unbelievable, maybe even impossible. "Hello? Alec? The music has changed..." Fiona waved her fingers infront of him. "Oh, erm, okay...I'll like to have a rest." Even though Fiona protested, Alec let go of her and walked to the side, pouring himself a cup of fruit punch as he did so. Then, taking a moment to think, he took out his handphone, "Hello, Nurse Lim, I just wanted to know...how's Vicki?" But Alec almost dropped his phone with shock when he heard Nurse Lim's cheerful response, "Vicki? Oh, she left this afternoon, checked out! Aren't you glad for her Alec...I'm happy she's moving on..."
"Where can she be..." Alec tapped on the window of his car impatiently, eyes roaming all over the streets hoping to find Vicki. A lonely girl, with no where to go, no family anymore...What could she do? Nurse Lim...Alec didn't want to say anything bad about her...But if she did think more clearly..."Vicki, Vicki, Vicki...Where are you...Hong Kong is so big..." Alec mumbled to himself...Where could Vicki be?
Vicki dropped her bags onto the dusty floor of the mansion. The once gleaming furniture were now covered with white sheets, hidden from the world. This was her home. The only thing she had left. She could still hear the distant laughter of she and her sister chasing around the large living room...The lovely smells that came from the kitchen when the kitchen helpers were busy...And the loving glances her parents gave secretly to each other while they thought that Vicki and her sister weren't looking. She had always admired her father, he was her role model, someone that she would want to be like when she grew up. She always tried to peek at her father's important documents, and had vowed to be someone that her father could be proud of, grooming herself to be one of the most sought after ladies in Hong Kong, the radiant young mistress on her father's arm whenever they went to social gatherings...It seemed to be a beautiful picture, the fairytale of the perfect family, but it was all shattered...And only she was left to pick up the pieces.
Vicki smoothed her skirt and sat down beneath the boughs of the large willow tree. Suprisingly, the garden hadn't changed much, only there wasn't the gardener to chase her out now...The roses were still blooming, the sunflowers still swaying in the wind...But now it would be her alone, Vicki thought sadly. Taking out a pencil, she began to sketch..."Vicki! Finally!" Vicki dropped her pencil in shock, and saw Alec draped over the branches of the tree, exhausted. "What is it?" She scribbled onto her paper. "You....you...you...just...left like that...I...I...was worried..." Alec panted. That Vicki...still staring up at him like he was a dumb idiot...He should have just stayed on at the party. "Why are you wearing a tuxedo?" Vicki scribbled somemore. "Oh, this dumb thing? You see...my mother...she wanted me to find, you know, a girlfriend...And...I...ah.." Vicki giggled at Alec, he looked so funny, standing there, all sweaty in a black tuxedo, but his smile..."Anyway, could I have some water?"
Alec gratefully took the glass of water from Vicki gulped it down, ugh, he could have died if he didn't drink water soon..."Thanks." He said, handing it back to Vicki. This place was beautiful...He thought, looking around at his surroundings...The dim lights of the lamp posts shone gently down on the flowers, it was so different from his garden at home, where his mother kept all sorts of flowers with weird colours, but this place...It was like it came out of a storybook. "Why did you leave?" But Vicki didn't answer. She was bent over a bed of roses, gently cupping the roses in her hands and sniffing, her eyes closed, her mouth was curved into a beautiful smile...Alec couldn't resist the urge to take out his pocket camera and "SNAP"...
"Hurry up! Its going to rain!" Alec dragged Vicki by the hand to a nearby shelter in the park. "If you had gotten ready faster, we would have more time to watch the birds...Now you see..." Alec grumbled, hurriedly shaking off the drops of rain water of him. Good thing the rain had only been a drizzle before they found shelter...Alec found no answer from Vicki. Her head was tilted towards the outside, watching the rain pour down from the sky, as people ran through the rain, hands clutching newspapers and working bags, only the ducks seemed to be happy, quacking loudly on the surface of the pond. Alec always liked to see Vicki like that, her luminous eyes seemed so innocent, as if they had just gotten a taste of the world. Creeping behind her, he saw that her hands held a pencil and a sketch pad, on the sketch pad was half a drawing of the scenery infront of them. She had made everything seem so life-like in the picture, it was as if they had transplanted themselves on the book..."Vicki, I didn't know you could draw!" Alec whipped the book out of her hand, and flipped through it. Pictures of both animals and inanimate objects covered the pages of the book, kittens playing with balls of wool, the drawing of a messy table, and there were many pictures of the hospital..."You drew these?" Alec asked in disbelief. To think that out of an untrained young girl's hand could come out various beautiful drawings..."Personal." Vicki wrote on her hand and grabbed the book back, shutting it and stuffing it back into her bag.
Alec watched Vicki as she nodded gently off to sleep. She was huddled at a corner on the ledge in the shelter, hugging her bag tightly and her eyes were shut. Smiling, he took off his jacket and put it on her, she looked so gentle and fragile just sleeping like that, far from the time she had been living in the hospital. But somehow he knew, the scared, angry, Vicki was still waiting inside, raging to come out, and destroy its own happiness.
"Okay, don't make any noise, I don't know whether my parents are home." Alec took Vicki's hand and ran past the living room, bumping into his housekeeper, Mary. "Young Master...What are you...And who is this young lady?" Mary looked at Vicki up and down, a sweet young thing, could she be another of those rich spoilt ladies who wanted to get her young master's attention? But this girl was different, she noted, her young master hated those rich woman, and this girl must have been different, for him to try to sneak her into the house. But, she still needed an explanation. "Mary...This is Vicki, she, erm, doesn't have a place to stay now, and, could you please just give her a room to stay?" Alec whispered fiercely into Mary's ear, if he's father or mother just walked past now...He would be dead. "Vicki eh? And do your parents know about this?" Mary raised up one eyebrow, why was Alec so concerned about this girl? "Mary...Please, don't tell them, don't worry, we're just friends, if you're getting a wrong idea. Could you PLEASE put her into one of the guest rooms where my parents don't usually go by?" Alec pleaded furiously, quick Mary, help me...At last, taking Vicki by the arm, she led her down the corridor, "Young Master, I hope you know what you're doing..." Alec breathed a sigh of relief, thank god for Mary.
"Hm...You can't talk? I see...Well, this is your room for now, don't make too much noise, my Master and Mistress don't know anything about this 'arrangement'..." Mary pulled out a few pieces of clothes from Vicki's bag and laid them on the bed. She snuck a peek at Vick, who was standing at the window, looking out. Poor girl, she thought, she has so little clothes, and she can't talk too...But Young Master...Why did he take pity on her out of all people? But she was a pretty little thing, with her large eyes and delicate features, even though how mysterious she was...She had to trust her Young Master's judgement. "Mary! Mary!" A fierce whisper came from outside the door, and Alec's head popped in, asking her to come out. "Yes?" Mary dropped everything and stepped out into the corridor, Young Master's behaviour was certainly strange today..."Is she okay?" Alec pretended to casually ask, almost causing Mary to laugh out loud..."She's fine, but I think you need to take her out shopping one day, the poor child doesn't have much to wear..." "Really? Okay..." Alec flashed a grin at Mary and bounced back down the corridor to his own room, Mary stifled a laugh, she had never seen her young master behave like that before..
"Quick, come out! You can't hide in there forever you know...I'm paying for them anyway." Alec quietly pulled out his camera, ready to take a picture of Vicki once she came out, the door creaked open, and the flash went off...Vicki stared at Alec angrily, and slammed the door of the dressing room. Idiot, persuading her to come out just so that he could take her photos? What a creep...But she had to admit, this was fun...She twirled around gleefully infront of the mirro, if only things had been different...
*Flashback*
"Young miss, your father wants you to come down..." A servant peeked into Vicki's room and smiled. Her young mistress certainly looking ravishing that night, with her hair put up, leaving soft tendrils around her face, and the pearl pink gown she was wearing tonight...Beautiful. "Miss?" She asked again. "Coming, coming, why does father always have to be impatient...Anyway, I've never liked those rich playboys..." Vicki patted her hair again and followed her young servant out.
Vicki could feel all the eyes on her as she sauntered gracefully down the stairway. It was just so irritating sometimes, having to entertain these rich men and their haughty wives and sisters, but it was all worth it for her darling father, Vicki thought, as she took her father's arm and walked into the crowd of people. Her father's face held a proud look, as he walked with her around the room, pretending not to notice the admiring whispers and lustful stares, Vicki knew that she carried herself even better than her elder sister, Vivian, who was away on a cruise with her boyfriend. "May I have this dance?" A young man stopped her father and her in their tracks, holding out an arm and gesturing towards the dance floor. Smiling demurely, she accepted the young man's offer and took his arm, walking and engaging in light chatter with him...She had no idea who this was, but if it was going to help her father...Oh well...
Vicki wiped a stray tear from her eye..Well...Everything had changed, she was no longer the young, conveted mistress of the Zhao mansion, but a mere commoner, with no money to her name...Did heaven have to be so unfair...
Alec picked up bag after bag of clothes and using his teeth to hold a bag, handed his credit card to the woman, and sighed the reciept. Alec watched as Vicki picked up two bags and slowly walked out the shop's entrance, swinging the bags softly, and her face had a wistful look on it...What was wrong with her?
"Yes...So, there's going to be a ball at Young Master's house in about two weeks time...You'll probably have to stay in your room and keep quiet, we can't afford to let Master and Mistress find you during the ball...It would be very embarassing, do you get me?" Vicki nodded as she sneaked a finger into the cookie dough, pulled out a lump and quickly stuffed it into her mouth before Mary turned back. "So...I was saying, I better warn you, you better not get too involved with Young Master. Mistress is arranging this ball for his well fare, to find a suitable girl to be his bride, although I despise those young spoilt brats..." Mary's words drifted off as she thought for a moment. "But then again, it is Mistress' decision...Can't imagine another young brat to serve upon, ugh...Hmm...Like I was saying, do not get too close to Young Master, I'm sure Mistress will be very unhappy if she finds out..." But Vicki wasn't listening, her eyes held a faraway look as she thought about the dancing...The beautiful gowns...It was just too perfect..."Could I go to the ball too?" She wrote on her hand and showed it to Mary. Mary stared at her, "Of course not! No way...How could I...Wait a minute..." She took a step back and looked at Vicki. Vicki did have the looks and air of a young wealthy lady, although she was not a bit haughty like the others, there was no mistaking the speck of difference she had noted in all the young rich ladies she had seen. "Well...I might be wrong about you, actually, it would be much easier...Mingling with all the rich guests, Master and Mistress would never know the difference, and I guess I could get you an invatation...But you need a ballgown..." A bright smile lit up Vicki's face and she quickly scribbled on her hand again, "No need, thank you thank you thank you..." Grinning at Mary again, she ran out of the kitchen and sprinted up the stairs...
Vicki gazed at the light blue gown that hung on its hanger. Countless memories sped back into her head...She was supposed to wear this for a ball, a ball that had been just a week away from her parent's and sister's death...And it laid in the cupboard, untouched, forgotten...Until now. She rubbed her fingers over the soft sliky fabric, feeling the cool feeling that embraced her hand...Finally, she would get to be her old self for a day...
"Now, don't you dare provoke her or anything...She's a very sweet girl, but she can't talk, innocent, too innocent actually...But I dare say you won't regret doing this for me, she's very pretty..." Mary rambled on, helping her young nephew, Roy, to neaten his collar. "Yes auntie, I know, I know, you've been lecturing over the phone the whole morning, I dare say I like the sound of her though, but why isn't she your Young Master's date?" Roy's dark eyes twinkled with amusement as he watched his auntie get so flustered. He definitely looked good that night, with his rugged good looks with his black tuxedo, he was not involved with any girl, though he was wildly sought for, he was just not interested. "Just my luck to be Auntie's only single nephew..." He thought to himself. "Young Master's date? Please, Mistress would never allow it! This ball is specificly organised for Young Master to find a girlfriend, or even a fiance...Although I do wish Young Master wouldn't fall for a wealthy young lady...Its not up to me...So, where's the corsage, quick, I need to go back to the kitchen, we are extremely busy..." Roy took out the box from behind him and showed it to Mary, who smiled at the delicate rose in it...."Good, now remember, one hour more, and do not, never provoke her!" Roy grinned and waved to Mary, who quickly scuttled back to the kitchen.
"Hi, its me, Roy. Mary's nephew, can I come in?" Roy whispered through a crack of the door, but there was no response. Feeling worried, he pushed the door open. A girl was sitting at the desk, totally engrossed in something she was doing. "Vicki?" Roy thought. Walking slowly towards the desk, he gained enough courage to peer down at her table and face, Vicki still had not noticed him. Her large eyes were fixed on the paper, looking up at times to a large old willow tree that stood outside in the courtyard, her hand moved graciously as leaves and birds came swirling out of the pencil that she held, Roy immediately realised that she was a very talented artist. Suddenly, Vicki's eyes turned to look at him, her eyes grew wide with shock and she quickly jumped back, grabbing her book and shut it. "Roy. Mary's nephew, you didn't reply, so I came in..." Roy held out a hand for Vicki to shake. Mezmerized by Vicki's looks, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Large, round, captivating eyes with a beautiful smile...Wow. Vicki cautiously took his hand and shook it, so...this was her date...Roy, was that his name? And, uh oh, she hadn't gotten changed yet, it was just too irresistable to draw that lovely willow tree outside the window, with the twittering birds perching on its old boughs, its leaves swaying gently in the summer breeze..."I won't be a minute." Vicki wrote on her book and showed it to Roy, before gently moving behind him and shoving him out of the door..."Bye...Be..." Before Roy could finish, the door had already slammed in his face.
"Alec, Alec, Alec...Where are you running off to now?" Mrs Zhao stood in Alec's way to the entrance, fingers elegantly wrapped around a wine glass, her carefully painted lips smiling lovingly at him. "I was, just going to entertain some guests..." Alec fumbled with his fingers, please, no, no girlfriend, no introducing..." "Alec, I would like you to meet Rene, she's new in town, but her father is very well-known all over the country...Bring her around won't you?" Mrs Zhao pulled the hand of a young girl to make her stand infront of Alec. "Hi Alec..." She drawled on in a 'sexy' voice, almost causing Alec to puke, her made up face was too made up and please, she looked like a barbie doll. "Alec?" Mrs Zhao repeated. "Oh...Okay, come along, I still need to entertain people..." He brusquely grabbed her hand and started walking towards the entrance where he noticed, many young bacheleors were gathering, even a few old men..."Where are you bringing me...Alec?" Rene fluttered her eyes at Alec, but pouted after realising that she got no response. Alec countinued squeezing through the crowd of men, "Excuse me, going through..." But then dropped Rene's hand in shock. Vicki. Vicki. Vicki? Vicki?! She was listening intently to a young man talking, a good looking one, throwing her head back and laughing gaily. Men from all sides rivalled for her attention, offering her a plate of pastries, a cup of punch, which she all declined politely. Indeed, she looked ravishing that night, in a pale blue gown that complimented her svelte figure, but didn't reveal too much, all Alec could do was stare...But what did that man know about Vicki? Well, she was his guest...
"Hi Vicki." Alec appeared, dressed in a tuxedo. A young woman quickly came behind him and grabbed his arm as if saying he was hers, making Vicki's eyes twinkle with amusement. She was enjoying herself, Roy was an amusing and funny partner, taking the chance to make her laugh whenever he could. He did most of the talking, while Vicki listened with great attentiveness. The ballroom itself was like a picture that had just stepped out of one of the 'Cinderella' story books, decorated with gold and sliver curtains and tablecloths, glass chandeliers hung high up in the celing, sparkling beautifully. Various groups of people stood at corners of the room, engaged in conversation, it had been so long since she had seen such a sight. "So like I was saying..." "Miss, would you like to have a glass of wine?" A young gentleman cut into Roy's words, holding a cup brimming full of blood-red wine, but which Vicki declined quickly. She grasped hold of Roy's hand, forgetting all about Alec, and pulled him out of the ballroom.
"I was getting suffocated by all those young men!" Roy laughed at Vicki's words which she had written down on a piece of paper. "What can I say, you really look great tonight..." Roy looked at Vicki with great admiration, Vicki really looked beautiful, her raven black hair shining in the soft moonlight, her face illuminated gently as she stood under the lamp post...Good thing he didn't refuse this date. "Vicki, I...." "Vicki! Where did you go...?" Alec appeared suddenly, panting and sweating profuously. Giving a wry look to Roy, he ran up to Vicki and led her away, "Vicki, is this man really...trustworthy?" Vicki almost burst out laughing upon seeing Alec's face, why, she wasn't a little girl anymore! "Alec...Of course he is, he's very nice, accompanying me all night, after all, he is your housekeeper's nephew." Vicki wrote on Alec's hand and smiled up at him. "Its just that...Why didn't you let me bring you around? And I thought we were friends..." Alec pouted playfully, causing Vicki giving him a smack on the shoulder..."Alec! There you are!" The girl Vicki had seen earlier ran up to Alec and twined her hand around his arm, looking at Vicki with a cold stare. "Hi Rene, I was just talking to Vicki..." Alec tried to pull her arm away, looking at Vicki anxiously, as if saying, "Help!", but Rene's grip was too tight. "Oh, Hi...Vicki." Rene's voice was full of spite, Vicki...Another rival in her quest for Alec? "Vicki...Since Alec's date is here, why don't we leave them alone? Come on..." Roy pulled on Vicki's arm, almost causing Alec to desperately run after them, if not for Rene...That darn Roy...
Roy's intense look frightened Vicki. Why was he looking her in that strange way? "Vicki, I just wanted to tell you..." Roy picked up Vicki's hands and clasped them in his own. "I just wanted to say that...I really like you alot...I mean, just one night alone could already make me feel that you're real special, like all those other men, Vicki...Do you think you would allow me to be your suitor?" Vicki stood stunned upon hearing Roy's words...Girlfriend? She only like him as a friend...A good friend maybe, but...Vicki watched motionless and Roy's face went closer to hers, he shut his eyes, lips about to touch hers....."Vick!" Alec popped up from nowhere again, startling Roy and making him jump back in shock. Alec stared at Roy, and then turned his attention back to Vicki. "Listen, I know you want to enjoy more now, but Mary told me to tell you that you have to go back now, my parents have just left to send some friends home..." Vicki nodded as Alec grabbed her hand, turning back only to give Roy a goodbye glance, and ran off into the darkness...
Alec breathed a sigh of relief as the door of Vicki's room shut. Finally, she was safe. That pig of a Roy, trying to advance on Vicki like that, good thing Alec had reached there in time...Alec looked at Vicki's door, hearing the silence that lay behind them, and remembering how Vicki had looked that night...Was he....jealous?
"I got a job." Alec grinned as he pulled out a stack of papers from a folder. "Its for some photography job for some teen magazine, and I have to be down today, want to follow me?" Vicki eyes scanned through the stack of paper, wow...She had been involved in her father's business activities, but was photography really that...Well, she didn't have the answer herself, but she remembered those photographers that her father had engaged to take their family photos, they drove sport cars, carried around expensive looking cameras, wore branded clothes...Alec was rich, but imagine if he could really carve out a career in this..."But of course this is just all for fun...You know, my parents would never allow me to take up photography, I have to manage the family business...So, want to come?" Vicki grinned up at him, after all, they were friends...Weren't they?
Vicki stared into one of Alec's various lenses, and watched as she twirled a button, the focus grow nearer, then further, then nearer, then further...Wow, a photograph did have alot of cameras, not just one ordinary one, as she once thought. Alec stood in the middle of the room, flashes going off, models parading various 'teen fashions' on the stage, and an irritating manager who kept pestering Alec, trying to 'teach' him how to take photos. Vicki watched as the makeup artist ran over to the models and began touching up their make up, yuck, they looked quite disgusting actually, with their blood red lips and eye shadow that looked like panda eyes, she couldn't imagine anyone going out dressed like that. The girls pouted their lips and batted their eyes flirtatiously at Alec, vying for his attention, but Alec was busy cleaning his camera lens and filling it up with film to bother about them. "Good thing Alec isn't a typical rich playboy." Vicki thought thankfully, smiling at Alec who looked up and waved to her. If he was like any of the rich men she once knew, maybe everything would have been different, she would still be huddled up in her hospital bed, crying herself to sleep everynight... Sometimes, she didn't understand why Alec wasn't a typical rich playboy, he had the charm, the looks, the money...But that was the different thing about him, he was just, different.
Alec picked up a bottle of mineral water from the cooler and walked over to Vicki, smiling happily. Wow, his first photo shoot, and everything was going so successful. Somehow, he felt quite bad, leaving Vicki all alone, being so engrossed in taking his photos..."Hi, here, have a drink." Vicki took the drink and smiled back at him, then turned back to look at the photos that covered the walls. "Nice? These are all by very well-known photographs..." Vicki looked up at Alec, and nodded. Suddenly, her face broke into a big grin..."Photographer! I'm really honoured to meet you, I'm Ginny, one of the models, you're Alec Su aren't you? Son of that bank chairman Mr Su, I've seen your picture practically everywhere..." A girl rushed up to Alec and snatched at his hand, words gushing out of her room and shaking his hand wildly. Alec stared at the girl, bewildered, while Vicki tried frantically not to burst out laughing, the first thing that came to Alec was, bimbo alert.
"Girls! This is Alec, the photographer...Isn't he goodlooking?" Alec felt himself being helplessly pulled to the crowd of girls by Ginny. Alec gulped as the girls all turned to him, bright smiles on their faces, and began touching his hair, hands, face...Pure torture. "Miss, please..." Alec made a face to Vicki and pushed the girls' hands away. Words like, "My name's Mandy..." "Do you want my phone number?" were not taken notice by Alec. "Vicki...Help..." Alec pleaded desperately, staring at Vicki, trying to make eye contact, hoping that she could read his mind...Suprisingly, Vicki walked over and put her hand through Alec's, causing Alec to jump in shock, and winked at him. Alec stared at her blankly for a moment, and then realised what she was trying to do. Playing along, he put his shoulder around her and flashed a pearly white smile to the girls, "I'm very sorry ladies, but I'm attached, my girlfriend." Ginny and the others looked at Vicki up and down, what was she? She couldn't possibly match to their shaply bodies and perfect faces...Seeing that they were unconvinced, Alec tried something drastic: He suddenly reached over and gave Vicki a peck on the lips, causing her to drop his hand in shock. What the...What was Alec doing? "Okay! Break over! Get back to your places!" The manager stepped out of the dressing room, and clapped his hands. Alec smiled at Vicki and ran back to behind the camera, leaving Vicki shocked, what was Alec actually thinking?
"Vicki! You're here! I asked my auntie where you were...She said you had gone out with Master Alec..." Roy burst in from the entrance, and immediately ran up to Vicki and clasped her hands in his. Vicki stood stunned, Roy. What was she going to tell him? "Vicki, you haven't answered my question...Vicki, believe me, I really want you to give me a chance, I spent the whole night thinking about you..." I thought about you also, but in a different way...Vicki thought desperately...Help..."Vicki, you have to give me an answer..." Roy countinued pleading, talking louder and louder, until Alec heard him. "What the heck is he doing here?" Alec put down his camera and looked at Roy and Vicki. Vicki looked helpless, being shaken wildly by a frantic Roy...Alec clenched his fists...That Roy, how dare he pester Vicki...
Vicki stuffed some clothes into her bag, taking all those that she had brought with her earlier, wildly strewing all the clothes that Alec had bought for her all over the floor. That idiot, jerk...Treating her like some pet, she wasn't a little girl anymore...Even though he was her counselor before, what did he do? He didn't have any right to interfere in her love life, or anything that had to do with her life..."Vicki! What are you doing?" Mary appeared suddenly at the door, shocked at the clothes that lay all over the carpeted floor, and frantically began to pick them up and brush the dust off. Vicki looked up at Mary, and looked away, gosh, it would be hard to leave Mary..."Vicki, did you and Alec quarrel? Please, don't take it out on your clothes, they're brand new you know..." Mary folded the shirts and shorts neatly, and laid them on a pile on Vicki's bed. "Mary, I'm leaving, I'm really sorry that I imposed for so long..." Vicki showed the piece of paper to Mary, which immediately rose a shocked glance at her. "Vicki? Leave? Is the quarrel really that serious Vicki? Vicki, think about it, Alec has been such a good friend to you..." Mary wrapped her hand around Vicki's shoulder and pulled her closer to her. Over the period of time, Vicki had almost become like a daughter to her, helping around the kitchen, always giving her constructive critiscim on her dishes...She could even notice that Alec had grown to like her, alot, waking up early to eat with Vicki, as she couldn't eat her breakfast late because of Mr and Mrs Su, that was so different from the Alec who loved to sleep in..."Mary, Alec and I...We just had some 'misunderstanding, and I feel that I shouldn't impose on the Su's anymore..." Vicki looked down, and twirled her pen slowly in her fingers, if only Alec and her didn't quarrel...
"Nonsense! You and Alec are the best of friends...A quarrel cannot..." "Mary, go out, I want to talk to Vicki." The door slammed open, revealing a enraged Alec, Mary gave him one look, then knowing better, quickly stepped out of the room. Vicki rose from the bed and defiantely walked over to the window, refusing to look at Alec, "I don't understand what is wrong with you." Alec whispered fiercely. "I know that you don't want my help nor others, and I'm sorry for that, but do you have to leave? I never knew that you were this petty, after all, I did help you, and thought you considered me a friend." Vicki turned around slowly, petty? And of course she did consider him a friend, did he really have a need to question that? A lonely girl in a what seemed like a strange land, of course she didn't want his help, she had her pride! But a friend he questioned, she was so disappointed in him...Tears welled up in her large eyes, grabbing her bag, she ran out of the room.
"So, we're now in the same boat." Alec stirred his drink around, and nodded. Roy smiled weakly at Alec, poor guy, he had called him straight after Vicki had left, suggesting the both of them to meet at a nearby pub to talk. "I'm very sorry Roy, I shouldn't have punched you like that, I must have gone crazy..." Alec stammered nervously. Never in his wildst dreams did he think that he would have been pal-ling around with a guy he had almost beaten up almost a day before. "Its okay, it was worth that for Vicki anyway, could you tell me more about her? I mean, you knew her much longer than I..." Alec looked at Roy cautiously, should he tell him? Roy did seem serious about Vicki..."Well, she's very vunerable, but sweet, looks weak, but fire-sprited...Its just so hard to explain her character, she's too different, you know what happened to her family don't you? Vicki has been through a lot..." Roy smiled at Alec's explanation of Vicki, yes, Vicki was different..."Alec, you really do know her don't you? Vicki's not only beautiful, but she just seems like the perfect girl, demure, gentle...I mean, I never have felt this way before, trust me! But what can I do...She made it so clear that she had no interest in me..." Alec pondered on Roy's words, what did he actually know? Vicki wasn't actually the person everyone thought, only him and Nurse Lim probably knew the other Vicki, the devilish one. Strangely, he was missing Vicki, missing her til he couldn't even think properly anymore...And what was that weird feeling?
Alec couldn't sleep. Tossing and turning in his bed, scenes of Vicki kept flooding his mind, keeping him awake...That Vicki, did she have to even bother him at night too? Pushing the covers away, he slumped out of bed, two a.m., how was he ever going to get enough sleep for the photo shoot in the morning? "Lens. Check. Flim. Check." Alec muttered to himself as he stuffed the objects needed for the photo shoot. Unconsciously, his eyes fluttered up to the board and fell on a photo. Vicki. His fingers reached up to unpin it from the board, Vicki looked so happy in that photo, her mouth curved up in a sweet smile as she sniffed from a exquisite red rose. Her face was flushed, cheeks rosy, Alec could still remember Vicki chasing him around the garden after he had snapped it, trying to whack him. Vicki had always hated taking photos, but Alec couldn't see why, she was so beautiful, maybe even prettier than a model, maybe she was just one of those antisocial ones...But he just couldn't help smiling at Vicki's photo. Perhaps the reason that they became friends in the first place despite many differences was the reason that he always felt a need to protect her, she was just too innocent for the outside world, even though she was supposed to be more knowledgeble than the rest of them. "Vicki, I miss you." Alec suprised himself by saying that, what was wrong with him? He couldn't fall in love with Vicki, he had to marry a girl chosen for him in the near future...No, not Vicki...
Vicki's hand flew over the white paper, covering it with straight, curvy lines...But there seemed nothing for her to draw...She didn't want to have nothing to do, and everything would start coming back, her father's voice as he welcomed her home, the smell of the flowers her mother loved to explain...Vivian's happy squeals as Vicki tickled her...Not that. Please, not that. Suddenly, with a flash of inspiration, Vicki touched her pencil to the paper and began to sketch out the outline of a face, Alec's face. She could still remember his face so vividly, the cheerful smile he always had ready for her, his bright, twinkling eyes looking at her...Alec had always been so handsome, always been surrounded by girls, but he only confided in her, perhaps, Alec was more than a friend, no! She wasn't ready, she didn't deserve any love...
Should he? Or should he not? Alec stood in front of the Zhao's mansion, nervously playing with his fingers, undecided. Intially, he had wanted to find her, he knew she would be there, and he was worried. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry, whether they could still be friends, but now, he was there, staring up at the gloomy windows, drenched to the skin. At least it was better than to keep pining away for something he couldn't have, then to let it be lost forever...Alec thought bitterly to himself. He couldn't stop deluding himself, he did love Vicki. Love her for her innocence, her sweetness, her gentleness, that she could never stop caring, no matter how she tried. But then he couldn't love her, all he could do was to lend her a shoulder when she was sad, be there for her whenever she got gloomy, just to be a friend. He would never, ever, Alec swore, tell her that he loved her.
A tear trickled down from Vicki's eye as she watched Alec walk away. She had been so stupid, thinking that Alec would really go up to her doorstep, asking her to go back. Her fingers gripped onto the pillow that she hugged, her eyes held on Alec's disappearing figure...Alec, come back...Please, come back...She pleaded silently. Why did she have to be so cowardly? So afraid? Vicki's fingers gripped the pillow tighter as she struggled with that strange, hungering, yet heart-wrenching feeling that resided in the pit of her stomach...As the last of Alec disappeared, Vicki closed her eyes and slid down to the floor, burying her head in her pillow.
"But Mom, I've got a photo shoot today!" Alec whined as he packed his cameras and flim into his bag. "Alec, look. Rene really wants to see you again, and she's going to America for a week, so you won't get to see her until next next week..." Mrs Zhao refused to relent. She greatly approved of Rene, with her pretty features and designer clothes, no way was Alec backing out. "Its not like I care." Alec muttered angrily to himself, he detested Rene. She whined like a sick puppy all the time, and her hand seemed to be connected to his own, she was never a metre away from him. "What did you say? Alec, I'm not letting you go for that photo shoot, and that's final. How much will you earn from a photo shoot? You have more than enough money already, so go and get ready now, if not I'll throw away all your cameras!" Mrs Zhao cast a threatening stare at Alec. Giving a sigh, Alec put down his bag, and obediently walked back into his room...That Rene...
Alec stumbled past Vicki's house, afraid to look up. Argh, that date with Rene had been so boring, lasting for 2 hours, listening to her talk about her favourite makeup brands, her new nailpolish colour...He peeked carefully, Vicki was outside, carefully tending to the blooming roses. She looked so beautiful, her hair sweeping over her face like that, her face wrinkled in that intense look...Vicki looked up. What was he doing here? Their eyes locked, lips unmoving for a long time until Alec waved. Vicki broke into a smile, Alec had always been so carefree, so straightfoward...She pointed towards the gate, beckoning him to come in. Uncertain, Alec didn't move. What if he did something wrong, being so close to her? Then again, nothing would, because Vicki didn't love him...Pulling on a pair of gloves Vicki had thrown to him, he squatted down beside a rosebush, managing to sneak a peek at Vicki...
Alec clutched his stomach, laughing at Vicki. She stood beside him, covered with mud, looking disgustingly at herself. Staring angrily at a laughing Alec, she reached down and clutched hold of a chunk of soil, and flung it at Alec, landing it right on his face. "Yuck! You dare to..." Before he could complete his sentance, Vicki had thrown another clump of wet soil onto his face. Alec stood there, speechless, his lips covered with wet mud. Why that Vicki...Narrowing his eyes, he reached down, filling his hands with wet mud. Then, sneaking behind Vicki, he rubbed it all over her face and hair, causing her to stop laughing. Alec...He was going to get it...Reaching up and pulling out wet chunks of mud, she advanced towards Alec, uh-oh...
Alec smiled as he watched Vicki brush off the mud off her clothes. This was the way it was supposed to be...Friends, friends having fun together, not having secret crushes on the other party..."Here, you missed a spot..." Alec reached up to brush some mud off Vicki's nose, causing her to jerk up her head immediately. Gosh...Why is she so beautiful...Alec gazed, longing, into Vicki's large, innocent, unsuspecting eyes, he wanted to kiss her so much...But then..."I'm sorry, I have to go." Alec quickly turned away, and swinging his bag over his shoulder, ran out of the garden. Why did it have to be her, of all girls?
Alec splashed water on his face and looked up at his image in the mirror. He had been so close to kissing her, to have his lips touch hers...He shouldn't have given in to the temptation of walking past her house, see what that led to...But what would it have been like just to kiss Vicki, to feel her lips against his...Alec quickly splashed more water on his face. No more Vicki, no more thinking about Vicki...But it was just getting harder and harder...He was falling more and more in love with Vicki every second, every minute, every hour of the day.
Vicki sketched in carefully the amazing view that was laid out right before her. Rocky mountains that were now covered with the plants of spring, the rice fields that were ready for harvesting...The fresh air was overwhelming, she had been right to come here, she needed to be alone...Not surrounded by those cold walls that seemed to frown at her every move, or just to lie in bed hearing the old grandfather's clock tick...Silence was all she needed. The blank paper transformed into a flurry of life and beauty, with the addition of animals and plants that were not even there. Vicki watched as a bird soared past the hill and perched on a nearby tree, she wanted freedom, not that she didn't have it already...But she wanted freedom from herself. To be rid of those nightmares and those endless self-pity...Vicki put down her pencil and flipped slowly through her drawings...Her drawings were always grey, she had never once coloured them, believing that the essence lay in the drawing, not its colours...But now, she was starting to notice that no matter how happy the people looked, or how perfect everything looked...It still looked dead, unhappy. Alec. Her fingers slipped slowly off the paper when a picture of a happy Alec appeared...Her mind immediately went back to that time in the garden, did she even dare to think that he had feelings for her?
September 11. Alec's birthday. Vicki stared at the calendar. When did she even write that down? September 11 was just three days away, she couldn't pretend that she didn't know could she? Even if she wanted to stay away from him...But then, what could she give him? Picking up her sketch book, she twirled her pencil in her hand, and then pressed it down to the paper...Trying to picture if Alec and her were just friends...And if she wasn't a depressed soul...And if everything was just all right.
Vicki clutched the framed drawing as she peered round a wall infront of Alec's house. Did she really have enough courage to go up to him and give him this pathetic piece of work? Vicki! He's your friend...Of course you can...She reprimanded herself...But, then, she wanted to ask him so much...To ask him whether he liked her, liked her more than a friend, even if it was just wistful thinking...Taking a deep breath, she was about to step out of her hiding place when the main door swung open, causing Vicki to jump right back behind the wall. Alec walked out, a girl on his arm, laughing happily. Vicki stared and stared...Was Alec lying to her all along? She countinued watching as Alec put his arm around the girl..And as the girl tip toed up to peck him on the cheek...Alec had been lying to her all along...He said he didn't like rich girls...But wait, who was she to choose who Alec should like? She was just too foolish...Dropping the framed drawing with a loud 'crash!', she sped out of her hiding place, and ran away quickly....
Alec couldn't stop staring at the picture. Vicki had certainly outdone herself on this one, not only had she sketch every line and every leaf out, she had coloured the picture...It looked just heavenly. Vicki had taken so much time just to do this for his birthday, but why hadn't she gone to give it to him? Unless...Alec glanced at Jackie, who was chatting away happily with the chauffer. Could Vicki had mistook Jackie for a girlfriend of his? Wouldn't that mean that she was...possibly jealous? "Earth to Alec! Alec, we've reached the restaurant already!" Jackie waved her fingers infront of Alec's face, what was wrong with Alec today?
"So...Jackie, how was your four years in America, found any potential suitor?" Mrs Zhao sipped from a cup of hot chinese tea and leaned back on her chair. "Of course not Auntie, I still intend to be a career woman you know..." Jackie winked at Alec mischeviously and grinned. But Alec's mind wasn't on the scrumptious lunch before him, all he could think of was Vicki, and the painting...Could Vicki really have the tiniest bit of feeling for him? All along he thought that that cold heart of Vicki would never melt to let any happy emotion in, but was always covered with that icy layer of bitterness...But then, if Vicki did like him, how would that help? It was better to be hurt now than to be hurt even more later, he could see that his mother had high hopes for him and Rene...Heck, he wanted to see Vicki, badly.
Alec hid behind a tree, watching Roy spray Vicki with a hose. Their laughter lit up the atmosphere of the place making Alec cringe. Vicki had mistaken him and Jackie, but then she and Roy? He couldn't expect her to moan after him, even though he had the slightest hunch that she liked him... Roy did seem to be able to make Vicki happy, and he was a good guy, after talking to him for a whole night...Perhaps today wasn't a good day to talk to Vicki...As Alec walked away, he felt a hollow ache in the pits of his stomach...A familiar saying kept ringing in his mind, "Its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all..."
"You want to talk?" Roy sat down beside Vicki
on the concrete step, concerned about that enstranged look she had on her face.
He had almost given up. Vicki's heart clearly belonged to another man, not him,
all he could do was to comfort her, since neither party confessed their
feelings, but if Alec didn't love Vicki...Vicki kept silent. "I know you
love Alec, why can't you just spit it out? I know you can talk, Alec told
me...You're just making yourself suffer if you don't let it out...Vicki, listen
to me..." Vicki shook her head stubbornly. This was just a feeling that
would past, she couldn't expect nothing to come out of their days being so close
together right? And Alec already liked another girl...All she had to do was to
forget...But she couldn't stop a tear from sliding down her cheek.
"VICKI!!! Stop deluding yourself! I love you, but yet you rejected me, and
I've given in to Alec Su, I don't want to see you being like this
anymore..." Roy looked at Vicki and sighed. Why couldn't Vicki see that it
was possible?
"No...No! Please, no!" Images of the car crashing into the other car,
her mother's and sister's blood trickling down the window...Her endless
screaming...The very sight of the two most dearest people to her dying...Vicki
screamed, and sat up quickly in her bed. Why couldn't she get rid of those
dreams? Why couldn't she just forget? She tilted her tear-stained face up,
glancing at the greyish four walls that enclosed her in this cold, dark
room...She needed to get out...
Vicki fingered the delicate silk bedsheets of her sister's room. Vivian had it
all laid out for her, a great career, a loving boyfriend...But she just died
like that. The room was done up in pink lace, perfectly suited for Vivian, who
was a lady as anyone could be...She was so gentle, never raising her voice at
anyone...She had inherited Mrs Zhao's calm nature, but Vicki had instead
inherited Mr Zhao's hot temper, which he fortunately, managed to keep down, but
in Vicki's case...Slowly pulling out a drawer, Vicki pulled out a leather bound
diary, which Vivian had always kept. Vicki had always wanted to have a peek at
that diary, which Vivian guarded so jealously, but since...Vivian was
gone...Vicki flipped it open to an entry, one that was written on the day of a
ball, and was dated three weeks before Vivian died.
Today was the ball at Mr Lim place again. As usual, Mark accompanied me and I
wore my shell pink silk gown...The place didn't look any different from the
others, decorated with gold ornaments, famous delicacies were served, and rich
bacheloers mingling around. Nothing was different. But...Its just that...I don't
know whether I should say this, after all...She's my sister...Heck, I really
can't help but be jealous of Vicki. From young, I never really cared, after all,
people did fawn over me...But now, she had blossomed into a promising young
woman, sometimes it even feels like Daddy loves her more than me...The pride
shown on his face as Vicki takes his arm, the way his eyes twinkled when he
chats to his business associates about Vicki...Even men have proposed marriage
to her...Gosh, I just hate it, hate it...I do sound so jealous don't I? I love
her still, so much...But I just can't help but feel envious of her life...My
life seems so boring, working in Daddy's bank, having a steady boyfriend, while
Vicki...Just forget it...I love Vicki...
Vivian
Her sister was jealous? Jealous of Vicki herself? But how could that be? Vicki
had always been the way that was envious of her elder sister, that's why she
tried to be so much like her, and to make her father proud...A box suddenly
slipped out from the back of the drawer, Vicki took it and fumbling with its
clasp, finally got it open. A diamond ring lay inside, with a diamond as pure as
the morning sun encased in the gold band, on the band was engraved the words,
"Mark and Vivian, forever."
"Damn it! I really can't stand you any longer!" Roy stepped forward to
fling a punch at Alec, but Jackie immediately hopped in front of Alec, shielding
him. "Who are you? We could sue you do you know that!" Roy stared at
her, and then pushed her aside. "And I thought that you really liked Vicki,
what do I find? You with another girl! Looks like I gave Vicki up for
nothing...Well, just forget it...Forget it...And little girl, I'm not scared of
you!" Roy shook his head sadly and murmered something under his breath,
walking away..."Alec, who was that? And who's Vicki?" Alec watched
after Roy, did he mistake Roy's words? He couldn't have...But then again, he
could...Did he really hear Roy say, "If only Vicki didn't love you so
much..."?
"Alec." A whisper, that could be barely heard came from behind him, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around slowly, did Vicki talk? No, it couldn't be..."I am soo stupid aren't I?" Alec's jaw almost dropped on hearing Vicki's voice. "Roy hasn't been talking rubbish. I did like you, alot in fact. But I got it all sorted out." Vicki smiled wryly at Alec. "I liked you, because you were always there for me, and I needed someone to love, and of course the candidate was you, because you were there. But after thinking it through, I realised I don't love you at all, my feelings just went crazy..." Alec blinked. This was just too much..."So, we're just friends?" Alec managed to choke out, forcing a smile on his lips...Even if Vicki did say that she did like him, Alec wouldn't have known what to do...But this...Vicki stuck her hands into her jeans pockets and walked down the steps, closer to Alec. "Well...Alec, I really don't want to say this, but its...I don't think we should meet each other anymore. I'm back up on my feet, I don't want to depend on a man any longer." Alec was stunned. Not daring to believe her words, nor looking at that sweet, yet frightenedly cold smile that was smeared on her lips. "Fine, you never did take me as a friend didn't you? You just took me as your little plaything, a foolish little boy to play with you...Well, I never had a friend like you either, Vicki Zhao, from now on, I do not know you..." Alec breathed in and turned to walk away again...Vicki didn't know how much she hurt him, she was much more than a friend...Much much more.
Vicki watched as Alec walked away, away from the house, away from her, forever. Suddenly, giving out a strangled cry, she ran to the backyard, collasping on the grass. Why did love have to hurt so much? It was like a butcher's knife...Cutting into her very soul...Roy had told her all about Alec's difficulties, she didn't want to be a burden...Alec was destined to marry a rich, beautiful girl, and inherit the Su's businesses...While she, she was just another thorn in his flesh, a blockage to his future...That would be the first and the last time she would have spoke after the accident...How could she have convinced Alec then? Torment pulled at her heartstrings...She would have to start anew, this time without Alec, without anyone...She clenched at the crumbled soil in her fists, wetting the soil with her tears, silent tears that would probably never be shed again...
"Alec, are you okay? Here, drink this..." Jackie looked at her cousin's flushed face, handing him a warm cup of coffee. What happened to Alec? He had come home dashing through the door, slamming it in the process, then speeding off to his own room. "I'm okay Jackie, you won't understand..." Alec pushed the cup away, and turned away from Jackie, burying his head in his hands. "Understand what? Alec, tell me, what happened?! You can't keep in it you forever...It'll kill you...Auntie won't want to see you like this!" Jackie sat down beside on Alec on the bed. Damn, why did stubborness have to be one of Alec's faults? "Its just that...Forget it, I'm not in the mood, please, just leave me alone!" Jackie cast a sad look at Alec and stood up to walk out, it wasn't a good time to bother Alec...
Alec cradled the picture of Vicki in his hands, not taking his eyes off Vicki's face. "You take me for a toy...A pathetic toy...I should have seen through you from the start, how could I have been so stupid?! You must have inherited some of that shrewdness from your father, after all, he was once the richest..." Alec laughed painfully to himself, oblivious of the creak the door made when it opened. "Alec. I want to talk. You can't hide anymore, you're hurt Alec!" Jackie screamed at Alec, didn't he know how much it pained her heart to see him like this? "I don't want to talk about it! Everything's so sudden...I love her, but...But...But she doesn't love me!" Alec choked out, ripping the picture into two. "Alec! Stop it!" Jackie snatched the picture out of his hands and pieced the two halfs together. It was a picture of a beautiful lady smiling..."But Jackie, I am decieving myself...I can't love her anyway...So why am I fooling myself?" Alec smiled painfully, looking at the picture. "Vicki, I helped her from the start, caring for her, smuggling her into the house...She seemed just like a fragile flower, so beautiful yet so untouchable, but I still persisted to try to get to her heart, to make her open up, to pierce through that cold soul...But I still failed...I can't believe...Believe that I myself fell in love with her, and I was foolish enough to think she loved me back...But..." Alec stopped talking, and stared blankly into space. Tears started falling from Jackie's eyes, she turned away, trying to keep them hidden from Alec...He didn't love her, he loved another...One fresh tear followed her after another...She had loved him ever since they were young children, and had dreamt about them getting married...She had kept that hope lit up in her heart, as they were not even biological cousins, there was still that chance...But not, it was put out. "It really hurts Jackie...It hurts..." Alec mumbled...Jackie turned back to Alec, did he know that she hurt too? Did he even care? "Alec...I know...I know..." She reached her hands out, and cupped Alec's face in them, she loved him...Pressing her lips to his, she seeked out his very soul, he struggled at first...But Jackie pressed on, she wanted him so much...At last, Alec eased into the kiss, he grabbed her to his chest, shocking her with his courage, putting her hands around his neck, she kissed him deeper...Alec's hands wandered around her slim, svelte body, finally reaching her shirt buttons....
Vicki stared across the rice fields. Glorious streaks of red and orange spread across the sky, framing the rice plants that swayed gently in the wind. "Thus it ends..." She whispered, as a solitary tear dropped from her eye onto the brown soil, only to disappear in a second.
Vicki stared despondantly out of the window, gazing at the nightsky. The street below was quiet, as only the chirping sounds of the crickets could be heard. Tian ah! Why does everything seem to be about Alec...She thought to herself. She knew that she wanted Alec deperately so much to herself, but that couldn't happen...Even if Alec loved her, it was probably just a passing phase, she would go through the frightening roads of life herself...She couldn't depend on him forever. Wait a minute...Alec's figure appeared under the soft light of the lamp post opposite the empty street, his good looks were clearly chisled on his face as he looked up towards her window, his shirt which was drenched with sweat..."Vicki, could you come down?" Vicki shranked back behind the wall, why was he here? Didn't she convince him enough that she didn't want to see him anymore?? "Vicki! Please! I really need someone to talk to now...I have no ulterior motives...I'll sit here till you come down, Vicki! Just one time, one last time..." Vicki peeked out, Alec had sat down on the curb, looking all miserable and pathetic...Should she? Alec was her ex-friend after all...But then, she couldn't let those feelings to arise again..."Just one last time..." She told herself, she couldn't leave Alec in the lurch.
"You're here." Alec whispered as Vicki neared him. She still looked as beautiful as ever, like an angel in the moonlight...Alec, you're here to talk, not to fall deeper in love...He reminded himself. He shivered as Vicki sat down beside him, she was so close now...Alec! Keep your feelings together! Damn it...Why did Vicki have to affect him that way? Her large eyes encased a reassuring look, the look of a close friend that is..."Its Jackie." He blurted out. It was taking its toll on him, he had ran around the park for two hours, till he almost passed out, he had to resort to this..."She...Almost dragged me into bed, Vicki, I really don't know what to do...She says she loves me...And she's not my real cousin...I really am very confused..." An expression of helplessness spread accross Alec's face, Vicki could see that he was indeed, in much despair. Alec felt Vicki put his hand over his, and immediately a tingle crept over himself..."Do you love her?" Vicki wrote on his hand. "I don't know...I...I..." Alec was speechless. Vicki smiled and wrote again, "Love is precious Alec, if she loves you truly, treasure her, once you lose her, you may never have her again..." Vicki patted his hand again and got up. Waving goodbye, she ran back to the house. "How was I to say that I love another?" Alec whispered to himself...I love you Vicki...
Chap 23
Tears fell from Vicki's eyes as she scrambled up the stairs, how she ever said
those words, she didn't know...How did she ever manage to tell Alec to love
Jackie in return? Alec deserved Jackie...She told herself...Jackie was
everything Alec could want in a girl, although Vicki hadn't met her yet, she
knew that Jackie was rich, beautiful, vibrant, smart...While Vicki was just
another lost soul in the shadows of pity..."I've already given up on love,
why let another person waste their ability to love on me?" She sat on the
top stair of the staircase, damn, why was she so emotional? She hated
herself...Hated herself so much, she caused her sister to be unhappy, caused
Alec to be unhappy, cause everyone she loved and cared for to be unhappy...She
was just a jinx.
"How could everything go so wrong?! How could it?!" Jackie screamed
as she threw a glass cup against the wall of her room, smashing it into a
million pieces...She crumbled down to the floor, sobbing endlessly...Why
couldn't Alec love her? Just for that one night even...But no, that Vicki had to
come to his mind again...She didn't hate Vicki, she hated herself, hated herself
for being someone with no parents, no love, no Alec...Why couldn't have time
freezed...The time when they were still little kids, running together in the
fields, laughing and playing...She could still remember how Alec bandaged up her
knee when she fell, giving her that ever-so-handsome smile..."No one wants
me...No one..." She muttered sadly to herself, she thought she was
everything that Alec could want, but in the end...She picked up one of the
broken glass pieces at the wall, and pressed it to her wrist...
"JACKIE! NO!" Alec rushed in to the room, and pushed the glass piece
out of Jackie's fingers...If he hadn't come in at that moment..."Go away
Alec, let me die...I'm just another bitch trying to get to you using my
body..." Jackie reached for the glass piece again, but was suddenly greeted
by another push from Alec, "Jackie! I said stop it!" Damn, why did
everything have to be so wrong? His dearest cousin was trying to kill herself
now because of him...And he was practically dying inside because
of..."Alec, please, I'm begging you, just let me die! You don't know how it
feels to be like me...You'll never know...I'm going crazy, I really am!"
Jackie sobbed as she fell against Alec, who would ever understand that pain that
kept stabbing into her already worn-out heart? It seemed like the whole world
was going against her, even death, who's hands she thought would love to take
her into its cruel kingdom...Alec put his hands gingerly around his suffering
cousin? What was he supposed to do? He loved Vicki...But she rejected
him..."Jackie, just rest, I'll take care of you..." Even as he said
those words, he knew, that one day they would make him suffer greatly, but what
was he to do now? He just had to see what the future held for him...
Chap 24
Jackie smiled and clutched tighter on Alec's hand. The past few weeks had seemed
like a blur dream, happy, but seemed like a bubble about to burst...She had
spent every living moment for the past three with Alec, strolling in the park,
admiring the ships at the bay, and now they were shopping at the largest
shopping centre in the city together...But somehow, she felt like...The only
things Alec did that were 'boyfriend' like, were holding her hand, opening doors
for her, giving her tiny pecks on her cheek...Even when she had initated a kiss
one time, Alec had ducked, giving the excuse that he was tired. "Maybe he
still wants Vicki." Her whole body stiffened, what if that was true? He had
already promised that he had already thrown every picture he had of Vicki, even
everything that reminded him of her, away. "I'm crazy, this is reality,
Alec cares for me now...Even if he did want Vicki, Vicki doesn't want me,
Jackie...Don't worry all the time!" She rebuked herself under her breath,
her dream had become reality.
Alec smiled back down at Jackie, and fingered one of the many shopping bags he
was carrying. Three weeks...Three long weeks...Uncomfortable ones in fact,
trying to convince himself that he had a duty to take care of Jackie now. He
tried reminding himself that Jackie was happy now, happier than she had ever
been before, and he couldn't destroy that fragile fragment of happiness.
"If I never volounteered there at the hospital, all this wouldn't have
happened..."
Vicki stuck her hands in her pockets and walked down the busy street. The
beautiful weather had just lured her out of that deary house, and she didn't
know where to go...Her mind drifted back to that day at the rice fields, where
she had promised herself to get a grip on herself, and to forget Alec..."I
broke my promise." She suddenly realised, she had seen Alec that night,
tian, why couldn't she just have a bit more self control! Taking in a deep
breath, she quickened her steps, she had to go to somewhere peaceful, away from
the hustle and bustle of Hong Kong...
Vicki twirled her pencil absent mindedly in her hand, darn, she was out of ideas
to draw already...She had already drawn the trees, little kids at the sand-pit,
and now everything seemed dull, uninteresting to draw...The sound of light
footsteps could be heard, as laughter broke through the peaceful silence, Vicki
looked up. A young couple walked towards her, the man's face covered by a cap,
but the girl, her face was flushed with delight, and clearly, love. Now, this
was what she had been waiting for all along...Shading in the lovely features of
the girl, she tried to capture the happy ambience...The couple neared her, she
glanced up, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man's features, but she dropped her
pencil in shock. Alec. Vicki stared at Alec, unblinking, until Alec stopped.
Alec dropped Jackie's hand immediately. Vicki...Her soft eyes stared at him,
clearly shocked. Jackie clutched on protectively again to Alec's arm, this had
to be Vicki. He watched as a lone tear trickled down from the corner of Vicki's
eye, which she quickly wiped away...He felt a tug at his heart strings, he would
have gladly swept Vicki up in a hug, and wipe away every tear she shed...But,
there was Jackie. Vicki grabbed her book and bag, sprinting away from that
dreaded bench, away from Alec...
How could he have been so stupid? Vicki wasn't that capable, she couldn't pick
herself up all by herself...She needed him...He had made a serious
mistake..."Alec!" Jackie grabbed onto Alec's arm as he pushed her,
"Don't leave me..." She sobbed desperately, he couldn't do this to
her, not now..."Jackie, I'm really sorry...I'm really, really
sorry..." Alec pushed her arm away one last time, running off after Vicki,
leaving Jackie standing all alone...
