The picture of Noah above was taken right after birth. Eric was not allowed in during my c-section and he snapped this picture as they were taking Noah up to the NICU.

My sweet Noah was born via emergency c-section on Oct. 12, 2000 at 1:43am, weighing in at 1 pound like his sister. Noah was my sweet, calm little boy. The poor little guy was up in my ribs pushing up my lungs and didn’t have any room to move. That is until Avery was born, you should have seen him. I think he was doing cartwheels in there. You could see his arms and feet sticking out. It felt so strange to have him moving so much. I bet he loved it in there with all of that room after Avery was born.

Noah looked like me, in fact I found a picture of my Mom at 8 days old and she looked so much like Noah it was unreal. Noah had such a soft sweet face, there was just something about him. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but boy was he going to be a wonderful child. Such a perfect angel, but then again what mother doesn’t think her child is perfect.

My sweet Noah was the only one of my three children born with his eyes open. The first time I went to see him, he caught my eyes and we were locked together for just a moment. I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life. In that moment Noah and I were connected forever. Little did I know at the time that would be our connection for life. I remember telling Eric that he looked at me, he really looked at me. I felt such a peace come over me at that time.

On Oct. 14, 2000 the phone in my hospital room rang. It was the NICU telling us to come say goodbye for our third child. When we got there, our sweet Noah had already left. I never got to hold him or touch him while he was alive. That broke my heart more than anything else did I think. He never got to feel my touch while he was alive. However, I do believe God allowed him to be my only one born with his eyes open so we would have that connectioin. For that I feel very blessed. Noah knew we were there and we got to talk to him and tell him what we wanted to while he was still alive. So he may not have been able to feel my touch, but he felt my love.

The nurse cleaned him up and dressed him in a little blue outfit and wrapped him in a blanket. We took him in a little room and held him, kissed him, talked to him and took pictures of him. My favorite picture of him is of me holding him and kissing his head. What a preacious gift our Noah was to us. My heart and soul have three missing pieces and when I see my children again, then and only then will I be whole again.