12.31.03
OK so here's the way it all breaks down. Christmas was fun. It was all my immediate family plus my older brother's girlfriend Laura. She's sweet and I always love talking to her. We had a turkey dinner, which myh mom made. Very good. Then opened presents. I got a little jewelry box from my mom plus a gift certificate to our mall. A bracelet and $50 from my grandma. A foot massage from my older brother which i couldn't bring up to school because i couldnt' fit it in my bag. Lotion and perfume from Doug. And toothpaste, toothbrush, and a blank video tape from my dad. I also got a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble from my Aunt Ann. I left home sunday night (sunday was a long tear filled day). My mom and I spent the night over at my grandma's house in Springfield sunday night and monday morning she drove me to the train station. I got up to chicago around 10am. I was welcomed by Andrius holding a bouquet of flowers for me. How amazing is that!! I missed him so much over the break. Buy I'm at his place now. I ran a bunch of errands these past couple days. Went nearly insane trying to get everything straight so that I could register for classes. The truth is that if I ever let it get this far out of hand I don't think I shoiuld be allowed back to loyola out of shear stupidity. but its all done and I registered now. Whew!!!! That's a load off my back. So now I'm free to lay in Andrius's arms and watch Buffy. Those two will probably not happen simultaneously. But hey you never know a girl can dream. I'm going over to Bethany's friend Amanda's house tonight for New Year's Eve. I hope its fun. Anyways I better get going. How's everyone else doing?
12.25.03
Well its Christmas day and I haven't yet opened any presents. My dad decided to give my mom a break and have us open presents late this year. So we're going to have dinner around 7 and then exchange gifts after that. Not a really bad thing. Gave me time to do the wrapping I needed to get done. I'll be back up in Chicago in only a few days. That's an exciting thought. And I'll actually be up there earlier then I had planned. I just need to get someone to work for me on Sunday. I'll have pictures of my life up soon. TA for now.
12.21.03
Ok so I'm a slacker. I admit it. but what really can I say. Alot has been going on with me lately. You know with the whole finals, Flu/Cold (haven't decided yet), coming home, realizing I had collection agencies after me, trying to get a new cell phone, and working on paying for school, I've just had a lot to do. Well last night I had a very long talk with my dad about money (never a fun topic) and we reached an agreement (we'll see how well this plays out). Hopefully, everything will get paid before I go back up to school. Which is a week from tomorrow since I'm going back up early. Now that's the part of this whole christmas break that I can't wait for. What's better then a week off with nothing to do but snuggle up close to my favorite person. :) Big fun. Other then that I don't think I'm going to try to go to my Aunt Diane's this christmas, my dad's still very sore about her and now that my dad's actually cooperating with me I don't want to do anything that might spoil that. I'm still going to call my aunts on christmas day to catch up with everything that's going on with them. But beyond that I think its just safer if I don't try to push my dad too far too fast. Well lets see, if we go back a ways, I got the flu over finals week. Not a pleasant experience let me tell you. My brains ability to retain anything was at an all time low pretty much because I'm not used to getting sick. But I got thru it and was even able to raise my GPA. Go me. I finished all my finals on that Wed and stayed the extra couple days to do nothing but sit around. Andrius and I went out that Friday night. We went to this Italian place in Evanston. And heres the kicker. I, in my want to look nice, wore open-toe sandles with my black skirt. So needless to say chicago winters and exposed skin usually don't get along. but the great part about it all is that Andrius actually went and brought the car around for me. He really does love me. :) After that we drove around some subdivisions and looked at the christmas decorations they had up. Some we're nice, others interesting, and some even scary. All and all it was a great date. well I think I've sufficiently made up for the lack of entries over the past couple weeks. Hopefully you all agree. Merry Christmas
12.07.03
Well...what can I say. I haven't written lately pretty much because my emotions have been kinda going crazy lately. Things upset me easily. Especially karate. Oh well hopefully things will settle for me. We'll see
12.01.03
Thanksgiving went well. The wonderful holiday that celebrates what I've dedicated my life to, Food. The Gates's were definitely an interesting bunch. I made a lot of new friends this weekend as well. I've been rather tired and out of it since last monday. I'm scared to even go outside at night. It helps to have people with me but that's not always possible. Exams are looming ahead and with that comes going home for christmas. I'm going to try to come back early. We'll see how it works out.
11.26.03
So I got mugged monday night. The excitment just keeps on coming. I"m alright. I got my purse back this morning with almost everything still in it. They got my phone so until I'm able to replace it you won't be able to call me on it. I'm tired now. I've had a long ass week. I need this vacation. My head hurts and I'm going to go lie down now.
11.24.03
I should be studying for my A and P exam right now but I'm not. I didn't end up going to the club on Friday bc I found out I was going up for green belt on Saturday (Yay! I'm a green belt now). The assessment went well. I wasn't nearly as nervous as I could've been. There were a few discussions (or lack thereof) about me going up that bothered me but they were all cleared up before the assessment so no harm done. and the best part of all of this, I didn't get injured. Praise the Lord. Onward toward Blue.
11.20.03
Finally, its all over. The big projects for this year are done. Its definitely a good thing. I have a few final things to do but not many and their not hard. other then that its 60 freaking degrees out now. How the hell did this happen. Life is screwy. Tomorrow I'm going to an 80's club. this should be a fun weekend. TA
11.16.03
Evil, Evil School
11.13.03
Here's the crazy thing about me right now. I'm at peace with my life more now then I've ever been before. Things are going well and I'm happy. But the thing lingering in the back of my mind constantly worrying me is graduation. In a year and a half I'm going to be outta college and expected to start my adult life. This concept is scaring the shit outta me. Sure, my mind is all stable and balanced now. I feel like I know myself where I am, but how does that translate into another world. Another frame of being. The question that everyone asks is "what do you want to be?" I WANT TO BE ME AS I AM RIGHT NOW. This is where I'm happy. I'm sure that after a few years I'll get restless and want more, but I dont' think that'll happen in a year and a half. And at the end of that time I'll be prematurely forced to figure out what more I'll want. I just don't know and it worries me.
11.13.03
Yesterday was the day for being poked and proded. How fun. beyond that Tuesday I dissected a cow's eyeball in Anantomy lab. It actually wasn't that bad. The thing about dissection is that I can handle the whole body parts thing. Its the smell that always gets me. but here's an interesting tidbit the inside of a cow's eye is iridescent so the cow can see better at night. its actually kinda pretty. OK now that you are all thoroughly disgusted, I'll start talking about food and the fact that Bethany and I have too much of it. I think we're going to have to have people over to eat more often. Otherwise we're going to have fun come christmas break.
11.10.03
Ahhh....and so this weekend is over. I feel horrible saying that because everything I did was a lot of fun. Its just that I did everything. P-Ball was alot of fun (and pictures will be up as soon as I get them). Andrius and I had our first slow dance together (everyone together now. 1...2...3...AWWHHHHH. hehehe). I liked being able to dance but for some reason wasn't really getting into it. Maybe it was the music or maybe it was the lack of Tere. Having her out on the dance floor with me always makes it more fun. The next day was Nick's Brown Belt assessment, which went swimmingly (eg he didn't end up in the emergency room). Before which I found out that there was a Buffy marathon going on downtown at Dave and Busters. I quickly proceeded with Josh down there. I only got to see one episode (I had to be back up to leave for Andrius's dad's) but still it was fun to be there among a room full of Buffy fans. It's nice when I'm not the only one quoting the show. We finally set off for Indiana around 7 (late but not bad), had an amazing dinner, and capped the night by playing cards (I didn't do too horribly). We got an early start the next morning (well early for me) and drove the 45mins back to meet up with my parents. That was an interesting experience though I dont' think that I could really explain it to anyone. Even though i was the one dealing with the whole two worlds colliding thing you'd really have to talk to one of the other 6 people who were there to really get a feel for what happened. I was the only one who knew everyone there. The brunch was cut short so that I could go see Bethany's play, Picasso at the Lapin Agile. Which I thought was done rather well (Bravas for Bethany). I finally got a few minutes to lie down afterwards. But not too long becuase the bonfire came next. And now I'm sick of typing. I might fill you in on the bonfire at some point but not now. Anyways, Goodnight
11.06.03
Here I am again. Technically at work, but who the hell's keeping track anymore. Well it looks like my parents are coming up this weekend for the Notre Dame game. Fun for me. Along with PBall, Nick's Brown Belt, going to dinner at Andrius's dad's, possibly seeing Bethany's play and then getting ready and running the bonfire things are going to be fun. Hopefully I'll remember to bring my camera and show everyones pics.
11.3.03
Hmmm...it seems that I only remember to update my journal once a week. Sorry for all of you that actually still check it. I'll try to be more on top of it. Lets see whats been happening to me lately. Well Friday night was Halloween and in accordance with the spirit of the day I went to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Its a horrible, horrible movie whether you scare easily or not. If you get scared it'll freak the shit of you. If you don't the movie has absolutely nothing to say. Not just nothing of interest but nothing at all. Of course this is according to the people who were actually able to keep their eyes open throughout the movie. I on the other hand reverted to crouching and crying like a baby. Afterwards I spent my time pacing and trying to relearn how to breathe. Needless to say I did not sleep much that night. I blame the whole experience on Kirby because she was the one who suggested that movie. Saturday however, was much better. I slept through karate class. But I did go to the Sai Seminar which was a lot of fun. After that was the traditional Thai Food. Then Andrius and I had a fun car ride going to pay for his suits. We later met up with a bunch of people (Shihan, Katie, Dmitriy, Josh, Jason, Greg, Eugene, and Nick A) to play pool. I hit one ball in and therefore consider it a successful evening. Sunday I got to meet Andrius's dad. Rather nice man and one I felt I could drop into the conversation with (which is always difficult for me). A group of people are going to go over to his house next weekend for dinner. Next weekend is incredibly jam packed we'll see if I can schedule in some time to breathe. I don't know yet. well I think that's enough from me now. I'm going to go do something else. TA
10.27.03
Well now that was a fun weekend. I went to both Karate classes on Saturday and came out completely unscathed (well at least regarding my knee). So this might mean that green belt is coming sooner then I thought. Yay!!! Ok after that was the Shokido Halloween Party. This has to be one of the best Halloween parties to date. It was just so much fun. We had a DJ this year (Thanks Eman) which helped with that whole "what kinda music should we listen to?" problem which tends to errupt at these things. There was a lack of passed out drunks which was nice (except for the whole incident of the guy almost peeing in front of me). Then on Sunday I went with Andrius and Nick to help Andrius buy a couple suits. Of course as I walk in my first reaction is "Ooh, Clothes!" then I realize that there not for me. That's a disheartening feeling. To be in a clothing store and not be able to even try on any of the clothes there. sadness. Anyways, later that evening Andrius and I went out on our first official date. *smiles* We went to Fiesta Mexicana for dinner. Where I had fun with the waiters. After that we took a walk and spent sometime in a playground reliving stories about our childhood. After which he took me to the top of a parking garage which had an absolutely phenomenal view of the city. It was so gorgeous. It even made me forget about the cold. It was an amazing first date. Thanks Honey.
10.23.03
My head is spinning. My body's aching. And now its time to go to Karate. Maybe that'll make me feel better? Here's to hoping!
10.20.03
Happy Birthday to Josh!! Technically it was yesterday but it all works. This weekend was a lot of fun. I went to this thing called Teacherpalooza on Saturday with Nikita. It was a lot of fun. There was free soda, barbecue and dessert. Along with a free Michelle Branch concert (main reason why I went). They also had Tim McGraw there (wasn't bad). and a few other acts. I spent most of Sunday at Andrius's watching TV and cooking (I made deviled eggs, and they were actually good). But now I must go back to the wonderful thing called the work week. Gotta Love it.
10.17.03
Its the weekend!!! Praise be the Lord! I think I passed my Anatomy and Physiology exam. I studied (though apparently not as much as some people) but the question are a bit confusing. We'll see how it goes. Right now I'm just waiting to get outta work so I can go eat. Oh and I'm going to go to a Michelle Branch concert tommorrow for free!! Yea me! Yea me! Although I do hope that I'll get to see Andrius at least a bit this weekend. Doesn't look like its panning out to well though. I would like to actually spend some time with him. It seems that whenever we get to see each other its about five minutes before we have to go to bed. It would be nice to actually go out and do something with him. But we've both been very busy and I'm sure it'll happen soon enough. On a more serious note, my condolances go out to the Partyka family who recently lost a loved one.
10.15.03
This isn't going to be any where near as long as the last entry. I'm technically still in the middle of class. I just finished my Theo exam. I think I did pretty well. It's all dependent on how she grades (entire exam is essay). Other then that, here's some shocker news for everyone, I got a cell phone. I don't know yet if I'll be able to keep it. But we'll see. Hopefully so. But I also want to be able to do crazy stuff like eat. I understand that that might seem a little lavish. But you know me. Anyways, I have to get back to class. Christian Marriage here I come.
10.08.03
Ok now that most people know about Andrius and I, I felt it's now time to explain how it happened (pretty much because I like this story). Ok well for my side of the thing I started liking Andrius at the beginning of the year. We had been spending a lot of time together staying late at the dojo. We'd sit and talk about life and school and family and whatever else came up between us sometimes for hours. However, I always got the feeling that he wasn't quite there (you know the feeling, he's talking to me but his minds someplace else). So of course me being me I attributed this to his not really liking me and only really putting up with me. Making friendly conversation. Well that school year ends and we didn't talk at all during summer. I came up once but only saw him for a very brief time (just enough time to give him a hug as I was leaving the dojo). Anyways, so this school year starts and we hang out a bit working on recruiting for the club. Well one night out of reverence to last years tradition Andrius, Nick, Bethany and I went out to Deluxe Diner. Well while we were there Andrius made a comment about how all the people he bought gifts for while he was in Europe he hasn't seen or been able to give the gift to. I then mockingly make the statement that we talked all that time last year and yet he doesn't get anything for me. "Well we're not really friends" is how he replies. Now this hurts. In a way I understood becuase if I had gone outta town this summer I probably wouldn't have gotten him anything. however, I would never say that we weren't friends. Anywho, a couple days later we're on the phone (he called to make sure I was still alive after a night of not coming home) when he asked why I didnt' go to the fresh faces party with Bethany. I said it was becuase I didnt' want to be in a room full of strangers. he mentioned that he and nick were there. And I shot back that yes but he and I weren't really friends. He said that that's not how he meant that. I told him that it hurt all the same. He stumbled around his explanation for a while then finally came straight out and apologized for saying that. Later, he asked me if I wanted to come over and watch a movie. I said yes. But we never ended up watching a movie. We instead spent the time talking (yes talking and only talking). We talked about alot of the same stuff we had discussed in the dojo the previous year. But this time something was different. We were both more open in the discussion. One interesting fact that we realized was that even though we're both very good at reading and understanding other people, we couldn't figure out the other one for the life of us. At one point I mentioned how I didnt' like dating people who had dated my friends. Stating that it makes me feel like a consolation prize. So I tested the water a bit and asked "Who is the prize?" Then he did something I was not expecting at all. He blushed and giggled! This is Andrius. He does not blush let alone giggle. So I couldn't help but get the impression that he had liked me. After that we started spending more and more time together. Until finally the subject of "us" was brought up. When we finally talked about this he told me that he had always liked me he just thought that I couldn't stand him. Funny huh? Well we talked over everything and agreed to let down the barriers we both hold up for this. We both realize that if we're going to be together we're going to be together completely. There's no half-way with us. The odd part was that I thought us together would be incredibly complicated but it truly isn't. Instead it feels more natural. Things are going smoothly and we're both very happy. Ok now this is incredibly long and I'm tired of typing so their you go. Our story.
10.06.03
Yay!! So I am now officially 21 years old. Odd I don't feel any different. Maybe the secretion of chemicals that occurs at exactly midnight of your 21st year making all humans (or at least americans) spontaneously and irreversibly mature is undetectable to the actual person themselves. Hmmm....interesting question. Anyways, so my bday celebration began Saturday night with dinner at Leona's in which even though I knew about how many people would show up I was still stunned to see so many people there. Its beyond words how nice it feels to have so many people come to celebrate the day that created you (technically that would be nine months ago, but not the point). After Leona's a bunch of people went over to Andrius's to hang out for a bit. Then around 11:30 we finally agreed on where to go (John Barleycorn in wrigleyville) and headed out. Kaveh and I commenced the much anticipated dance-off 2003 in which I had to bow down and admit that Kaveh has moves I've never seen before. After I stopped laughing (and dancing) we headed back downstairs to sit and chat for a bit. We left around 2:30 I believe. All in all it was a wonderful night. I'll have pics up soon. The next night Bethany made a cake for me (devil's food) and Andrius, Nick, Pete and Katie all came over to celebrate my actual bday. So the fun news is that even though I got many more presents then I was expecting there are still more on the way. My mom's mailing hers up. Jason, Crystal, Elana, and Nick P all chipped in to get me Buffy Seasons 4 and 5 (I love them all to pieces now). And season 5 won't even come out until around december. Pete's giving me another computer monitor which I will get at some point. And whenever Andrius finds time to go out and get my gift I'm assuming I'll recieve it then. Other then that Laura got me a purple candle with various other halloween related items. Katie got me a mud mask and cookies (hehehehe) Beth and Leslie bought a Buffy philosphy book for me. Bethany bought me a poster which I absolutely love. and Josh gave me a worry stone. Oh and Kaveh bought me this pink spider and even though its fake it still creeps me out. I think that's the it for me. Pics will be up shortly as I'm going to walgreens now to drop them off (or at least after work).
10.04.03
Things that are just nice to hear: "I wanted him to know how much this meant to me" "This is worth fighting for" and "I love making you happy" !!! Thanks sweetie!
9.30.03
Oh! so this is what Happy Becky looks like. I get it now. :)
9.29.03
Good News. My hearing is normal and symmetrical. Whew. One doctor visit down 3 to go.
9.27.03
If anyone had told me a year ago that what just happened would happen I would have laughed in their face. Shows you how much I know. There goes that whole idea of me being able to read people. I'm going to smile because right now I'm too confused to do anything else. :)
9.25.03
I had an odd/fun dream last night. I lived about two feet away from Busch Stadium. So every time I walked home I could hear the roar of the crowd. Pretty cool. Then I went up to my grandma's to visit and Nine Days was practising in her living room. So I took a couple pictures and got to talk to the band. They played one of my fav songs Still Here ("I will be there to soften your fall. And I will be there through the thick of it all. I will not let you feel you wasted all your time. When every day we had was one more day when you were mine"). Then my cousins (on the other side of the family) came over for dinner. I sat down by the band and started talking. Then I ran out of water so I went to go fill it but as I left the kitchen I walked into my old grade school (sorta. It looked different). I went to the bathroom and filled my glass but as I was walking back I thought I saw a worm in my glass so I dropped/threw the glass on the floor and it completely shattered. So I went into the principal's office to get the broom. When I came out Perrino was there I yelled at him to watch out for the class but he completely ignored me and kept walking. Then Andrius walked by I waved to him he waved back and then left. So I started sweeping up the glass when a couple friends of mine from high school came by. I explained to them about the glass which was good because they were barefoot and then I told them about Nine Days being at my grandma's. They thought this was cool so they decided to go and see. Then Andrius came by again. I told him about the glass everywhere. He kinda just looked at the ground and went "Huh". Then I woke up. Fun dream.
9.22.03
I love you Gessell!! Kat I know how it hurts and my prayers are with you and your family. As to me. I'm confused. I feel like a replacement and that's not a fun feeling. I have to call about five different doctors about varying ailments. such is life.
9.19.03
TIRED!! I don't seem to be going to bed lately. Falling asleep yes. Actually going to bed, no. Its wierd I've gone out so much this week that I could do nothing tonight and be fine with it. I just need some pillow time.
9.16.03
The confusion that is life. If anyone's wondering the saying on the front page is supposedly my Japanese name determined by some quiz I took. I actually think it fits quite well. But thats just me. I noticed this weekend that I start stories about myself with an insult to myself. Hmm...maybe that should stop. I also love finding out (in ways I didn't conspire) that people really care about me. Feel the Love.
9.11.03
Oh happy day!! Oh happy day!! Oh happy day!! Oh Happy Day!!
9.8.03
Yesterday I went to Six Flags (or Great America as they call it up here) and spent the day with Nick, Jason, and Leslie. I had a lot of fun and even managed to fend off the dreaded sun burn. Other then that my lifes been kinda slow and kinda busy all in the same shot. I'm doing alot at work. I'm also finding out that being President of a club is more work then I orginally thought it would be. But hopefully I'll be able to keep everything moving smoothly. I don't know. We'll see. I called Tere' the other day and she hasn't gotten back to me. I really miss her and miss spending time with her. Other than that. I need to call townsend. I wish we lived in the same city. Other then that I'm having fun and going out and doing all the things that college girls should do (while still avoiding the whole video thing. I'm sure I can live my life quite nicely without being on 'Girls Gone Wild'). But I wouldn't mind dating again. I miss having some one to go out and do things with. We'll see what comes of it.
9.1.03
Here I am back up at school. Yay Me!! Its wierd I've only been up here a week but it feels much longer. The great news is that I get along swimmingly with my new roommate. She's perky but very fun. Things are getting set-up and I'm actually accomplishing stuff. Today was a lazy labor day, which I think is a good thing. I like being able to lounge around and complete what I want to do. Things are kinda confusing when it comes to work here. I still have a job but there's question marks as to what that job is. My apartment is beautiful but the rules governing the place are not so. Oh well I think I'll live. I have a gorgeous view of the city. Especially at night. As for as everything else things are just rolling along normally. My roommate and I, plus a couple other girls, had a girls movie night last night. We watched Single White Female, which completely freaked us out. Then we watched Return To Me, which lifted our spirits enough for us to bear the train ride home. And that's pretty much the scope on me.
