1. There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson

2. I have caught word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it

3. You know the courts may not be working anymore, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.

4. If cartoons were meant for adults they'd put them on primetime

5. No jury in the world would convict a baby...Maybe Texas

6. People today are healthier and drink less. You know if it wasn't for the junior high school next door no one would even use the cigarette machine

7. Ah! The searing kiss of hot lead; how I've missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying