Because I Stole Home

(Sung To Tune of Afroman's "Because I Got High")

I was gonna clean my locker until I stole home,

I gonna get up and find the rocker until I stole home,

My locker is still messed up and I know how-

Cause I stole home [Repeat x3]

I was gonna go to the clubhouse before I stole home,

I coulda eaten and I coulda laughed but I stole home,

Now I can’t get in and I know why,

Cause I stole home [Repeat x3]

I was gonna go to my house but then I stole home,

I was gonna cause a commotion but I stole home,

Now I’m sliding home and I know why,

Cause I stole home [Repeat x3]

I was gonna go to court before I stole home,

I was gonna pay my alimony before I stole home,

They took my whole paycheck and I know how,

Cause I stole home [x3]

I wasn’t going to crash into the plate but I stole home,

I was gonna stay put on third but I stole home,

Now I’m a celebrity, and I know why

Cause I stole home [x3]

I was going to pay all my debts until I stole home,

I was gonna gamble on the Mets but then I stole home,

Now I’m out of money and I know how,

Cause I stole home [x3]

I was gonna quit my job but then I stole home,

I was gonna end it all but then I stole home,

Now I’m playing ball and I know why,

Cause I stole home [x3]

I turned around my entire life because I stole home,

I kept my wife and kids because I stole home,

Now I’m living with them all, and I know how,

Cause I stole home [x3]

I’m gonna stop singing this song because I stole home,

I’m singing this whole thing now because I stole home,

If it don’t sell one copy I won’t know why,

Cause I stole home [x3]