I believe my greatest achievement has been the part I played in raising my three kids. Each is a good person, hard working, honest, caring, loved and respected by all who know them. Next, I hope I’ve been a good friend and supportive husband to my wife of more than 20 years. I think I’ve tried to do what’s right in life, taking responsibility for myself and what’s mine, meeting obligations both implicit and implied. Finally, I've tried to give aid and solace to those less fortunate or able than me. The rest is just commentary.
I wake each weekday at 5:30 and am at the gym by 6:00. I work at a small advertising agency in Roselle Park,which my partner and I have been tilling for more than 20 years. We do mostly technical and industrial advertising, public relations, direct mail, market research and internet advertising. Every once in a while we get a retail client for whom we do some billboard, cable and/or radio advertising, but mostly it’s print.
When the sun goes down, I become a teacher. I’ve taught at Kean University for more than 20 years, teaching advertising and marketing related courses. I also teach at Rutgers University. There I teach advertising and public relations courses, but my favorite is teaching public speaking to the athletes. My heart goes out to this unique group of students whom universities exploit in order to generate alumni donations.
I also teach a course called “What’s Newish?” at our Temple’s Hebrew High School. If you can’t tell, it’s a current events class that deals with Jewish and Israel related topics.
I am culturally very Jewish, but spiritually, I am a devout Herckyist. If you’d like to join, I’m afraid the membership list is closed as it has a roster of just one. I’ve combined a hodgepodge of what I’ve learned in life into a life philosophy with which I feel very comfortable. I once even set up a list of commandments for myself. I came up with 20.
Each day I meditate. Again, this is a mishmash of altered states of consciousness techniques I’ve been exposed to over the years, including Zen, self-hypnosis, Silva Mind Control, (second-hand) est and Metaphysics. I think it helps me relax and cope with day-to-day stresses.
My hobbies include photography, collecting interesting and meaningful coffee mugs, tennis, writing and public speaking. I never thought of public speaking as a hobby, but give me a podium, an audience and a topic, and I’ll give you 20 to 45 minutes. As far as photography goes, I own way too many cameras and way too many accessories. I recently went digital after disparaging the technology for years. Very embarrassing.
My saddest day was when my mother died suddenly after she come home from a shopping trip downtown Newark. Bambergers shopping bags had yet to be opened. I feel I had been spared what many people have to go through with their parents, dementia, long term illness, etc. My father also died suddenly while out for a stroll. He emigrated to Israel after my mother died. I’ll share one of my philosophies: We all gotta go. It’s a matter of when and how. I prefer sooner if later means protracted pain.
The happiest day of my life is today. OK, that’s a bit hokey, but I count my blessings everyday and am hard pressed to come up with something I’d change if it means giving up something I have.
I graduated from Parsons College in May of 1968 and immediately got a job as a Cost Accountant for a medical supply company. I also enrolled in an MBA program at Fairleigh Dickinson. My thesis was “Does Business Have a Social Responsibility and if so, Can that Responsibility be Fulfilled with Advertising.” I was trying to reconcile the schism that existed between my work (business) and my friends’ opinion of my work.
I was all set to join the Air Force after graduation. Took the officer’s exam, took the physical and resolved myself to five years of military duty. The thought of dodging never occurred to me. Not necessarily because of patriotism, but because of it never having occurred to me.
One day in April or May, my mother called me at Parsons and said I had received a draft notice. I asked her to open the letter whereupon we learned that jaunt with my friends in the previous summer during which we placed our names on Army Reserves and National Guard waiting lists had paid off. Seems there was an opening at a Reserve Center in Newark. I decided six years of monthly meetings was easier than five years of active duty. I often wonder how different life would have been had I not received the letter or had opted for the Air Force.
My first marriage lasted only two years. Mentally, my first wife took over for my mother. You can see the flaw in that thinking and maybe understand the resultant pain that that caused when we parted.
Anyway, seven years later, I met my wife and life partner. Debbie’s a great wife, wonderful mother, bright, laughs at my jokes and doesn’t know how to spend money. Did I mention that she’s good looking as hell? She’s a grade school Guidance Counselor by day and a Hebrew School teacher in the evening. She also tutors kids for their Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. She's the love of my life and when I hear those e-harmoney.com commercials I think "yea, that's exactly how I feel about Debbie."
Together, Debbie and I raised three wonderful children. Sari graduated from Rutgers and got herself a job at Lehman Brothers. She's not a broker or trader yet, but she's doing exceedingly well and, by all accounts is very much appreciated by her bosses, co-workers and clients.
Rachel, our middle daughter, also graduated from Rutgers where she was a Henry Rugtgers Scholar. Her topic was "Why were American Jews silent after the Holocaust." She couldn't pick a simpler topic like "History of the World Part III" But that's Rachel. If it's easy, she wants no part of it. Rachel is now deciding her life's course. She wants to be an urban planner with a law degree. She just got accepted at both the Rutgers Blaustein School of Urban Planning and Rutgers Law in Camden. She's waiting to hear from other schools, but we're all thrilled with the news.
Then there's Noah. Noah is an enigma. He's the nicest kid you could ever meet. Knows how to play Debbie and me (and I'm sure others) like a fiddle. He loves music. Any kind of music. He's been in a hard rock band (no tatoos, as far as I know), an accoustic mellow band and he plays bongos with a friend who plays the sitar. As a fourteen year old, we went to a jazz club in Somerville and he accompanied (on the drums) a sobriety-challenged, keyboard-playing, Blues_singer. I had tears streaming from pride. Noah is also a great writer. Knows how to weave words the way some people know how to paint. He's the one who built our Web site. He put up with a lot of crap from me, but he took it all in stride. He's now a Junior at Rutgers where he's studying Psychology and sings with two acappella groups. He is also a lead singer with a group called "A Life of Riley" (alifeofrileymusic.com) having performed at the the Bitter End and the Stone Pony.
I am a vegetarian by design, not by ethics or religious dictum. It seems I never acquired a taste for meat of any kind be it beef, pork, chicken or fish. The thought of biting into flesh is almost blood curdling for me. From the time I was a child, I kept my revulsion for meat under wraps, believing I was a freak. I came out of the meat closet, so to speak, and now wear my vegetarianism like a badge of honor. You should see the quizzical glances I get from waitresses when I order a veggie wrap and my wife orders her steak rare.
I stay in close touch with eighteen guys that I had been friends with at Weequahic. We e-mail each other every couple of days, meet for dinner on occasion and go on a reunion trip every couple of years. When we get together, we revert to being seventeen in a matter of minutes. Reminiscing about our adventures together, making fun of each other, throwing spitballs at each other. We all still look the same as we did in high school.
When I retire, I have this vision of teaching at a college somewhere and doing photography for weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and portraits as well as doing woodworking in my spare time. There’s an expressions that goes “Wanna hear G-d laugh, make a plan.” I think I hear laughter.
