Disclaimer:  The Lord of the Rings trilogy was written by J. R. R. Tolkien.

 

I make no monetary profit from this story.

 

Summary: Pippin's thoughts on Gandalf - implied slash

 

Rating PG

 

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MY LOVE

 

 

I felt like my world had been torn asunder when you fell in Moria, Gandalf.  I wanted to tear the beast apart with my bare hands, but I could do nothing.  Nothing except weep.  I wept longer and harder for you, Gandalf, than any of the others, even Frodo.

 

When I listened to the Lament the Elves sang so beautifully for you, Mithrandir they call you, it was as if I knew what they were saying, in the deepest regions of my heart, as I felt it too.  Your loss pained me more than I can word, My Dear Gandalf.  I willed myself to go on.  Merry was my strength after you left us, Gandalf, though I know your leaving was not your doing.  It was that vile creature of whom I will not speak its cursed name.

 

But in the forest, when you appeared to us, I felt as though my world, my life had meaning again, Dear Gandalf.  I had life in me again.  For I love you dearly, My Dearest Gandalf.  Wise Gandalf, Gentle Gandalf.  Although you chastised at me, yelled at me, scalded me, more so than any of the others, I loved you none the less.

 

Should I be thinking of you this way at a time like this?  I worry so for Frodo and Sam and the others with the battle looming like an ogre.  The calm before the storm. I sing a song of fading hope, as that is how I feel, but my feelings for you will not depart, Dear Gandalf.  You tell me there is hope for Frodo and Sam and I believe you with all my heart.   I drew blood for the first time to save you, Gandalf and I do not regret it.

 

 

And we did win in the end, evil was defeated, but at a great cost.  None of us will ever be the same again.  Countless Men and Elves are dead, and my heart grieves for them, but I also grieve as I cannot bring myself to tell you how I feel, Dearest Gandalf.  Will you be disgusted?  Tell me not to be a fool, or will you hold me within your robes like I always imagined and dreamed you would?  Is there any hope Gandalf?  Just a fools' hope.  And I am a fool and I will hope, My Love.

 

 

 

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