Disclaimer: The Lord of the
Rings trilogy was written by J. R. R. Tolkien.
I make no monetary profit from this story.
Summary: Pippin's thoughts on Gandalf - implied slash
Rating PG
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I felt like my
world had been torn asunder when you fell in Moria, Gandalf. I wanted to tear the beast apart with my
bare hands, but I could do nothing.
Nothing except weep. I wept
longer and harder for you, Gandalf, than any of the others, even Frodo.
When I listened
to the Lament the Elves sang so beautifully for you, Mithrandir they call you,
it was as if I knew what they were saying, in the deepest regions of my heart,
as I felt it too. Your loss pained me
more than I can word, My Dear Gandalf.
I willed myself to go on. Merry
was my strength after you left us, Gandalf, though I know your leaving was not
your doing. It was that vile creature
of whom I will not speak its cursed name.
But in the
forest, when you appeared to us, I felt as though my world, my life had meaning
again, Dear Gandalf. I had life in me
again. For I love you dearly, My
Dearest Gandalf. Wise Gandalf, Gentle
Gandalf. Although you chastised at me,
yelled at me, scalded me, more so than any of the others, I loved you none the
less.
Should I be
thinking of you this way at a time like this?
I worry so for Frodo and Sam and the others with the battle looming like
an ogre. The calm before the storm. I
sing a song of fading hope, as that is how I feel, but my feelings for you will
not depart, Dear Gandalf. You tell me
there is hope for Frodo and Sam and I believe you with all my heart. I
drew blood for the first time to save you, Gandalf and I do not regret
it.
And we did win
in the end, evil was defeated, but at a great cost. None of us will ever be the same again. Countless Men and Elves are dead, and my heart grieves for them,
but I also grieve as I cannot bring myself to tell you how I feel, Dearest
Gandalf. Will you be disgusted? Tell me not to be a fool, or will you hold
me within your robes like I always imagined and dreamed you would? Is there any hope Gandalf? Just a fools' hope. And I am a fool and I will hope, My Love.
*