Women As Head of Household

I’m probably not the best candidate to write this article because I love men! My husband of 25 years was (he passed on two years ago) strong, capable and remarkably receptive to my needs. My father was honest, and valued education, even though his was limited. He was hard working, as was my husband and both men often took that enormous one-step past their capabilities. Yes, I like men very much!

But, I also was for many years, and am currently, a woman alone. Because I was and have been from time to time, head of my own household I’m aware of a woman’s need to be capable and independent. Because women as a head of house hold is not usually a voluntary position, but is forced upon us by circumstances, it’s time we examined and re-evaluated that position. With that in mind, here are some very interesting facts.

This United Nations (from here forward, UN) report contains powerful information; however, it’s very dry and cloaked in terms which are difficult to understand since the report is directed at high-level committees in government and those involved in family issues of governments.

Visit the UN and read this report if you have a few minutes. Terminology is difficult but the facts speak for themselves. For reasons known only to the web gods, a regular link does not work. Instead, cut and paste this address into your address bar.
http://www.unrisd.org/engindex/publ/list/op/op3/op03-03.htm
I am amazed by what the statistics prove-and more amazed because we all know it’s true but we don’t know what to do about it.

1. Men’s spending habits are different from women’s spending habits. A woman is more apt, statistics show, and to spend income on family needs. A man is more apt not to spend his income on family needs, but rather for other things. Spending patterns are taught from infancy within the family unit.

UN studies show that a poor family with a woman in charge of the available family funds is less likely to have under-nourished children! A family is not necessarily worse off for lack of a male breadwinner. This report states this is because of government aid offered to families without male wage earners, but I wonder if that’s the whole truth. The report admits it’s difficult to analyze all the data.

2. Loyalty in a partnership: One or the other partner is likely to have more loyalty to the birth family (mother, father, siblings) than to the sexual partnership. This implies that unless the marriage/relationship partners are mature and responsible parties, one partner or the other may leave. (abandonment)

Additionally the other possibilities of job travel or military careers wherein one spouse may be away for extended periods of time or divorce/separation and maybe even illness/death and you’ll see predicable patterns wherein a partner, be it male or female, but statistics show most probably the woman, will at some time during her/his life, become the performing head of the household.

3. Child labor: income from children working is even spent differently. A female child worker is more apt to contribute all her wages to the family; a boy child worker is allowed to keep some of his income. (I assume this is what is commonly expected within the birth family unit itself.)

4. Teenage pregnancy does not cause poverty. Poverty is connected to education and personal goals. A study of teenage pregnancy is not the same as studying the causes of poverty. Female teens from wealthy families also become pregnant.

5. The workload and responsibilities within the family is not evenly shared! Most often it is assumed that the female, the mother, and all other women in the household, (I can’t emphasize this enough) is responsible for the well being of the children, and household! Not only is she responsible for family operations, but she is somehow negligent if the family fails!

6. When a male is a member of a family, he is considered its head even if the female partner performs the duties of household head and even if she earns more.

This UN report comments that in the absence of an adult male, any male over the age of 15 years is considered to be the “head of household” regardless of which party earns more or contributes more.

7. As a woman ages, her position worsens. It does not get better. Instead add the problems of aging and less income. She becomes a double victim of poverty. Women age 60 years and more are the worse off according to this study.

8. According to this report: “In such a situation (meaning all of the above) women’s best interests lie in maximizing their (the female’s) access to and control over THE RESOURCES FOR SUPPORT OF THEMSELVES AND THEIR CHILDREN”.

A. This United Nations report is about women in poverty worldwide. However, female identity carries over to medium and high-income households, don’t you agree?

Women in traditional families do most of the chores and carry the burden for success or failure, while the men work for wages and congratulate themselves for a job “well done”. We are disadvantaged because we haven’t recognized the risks involved in a marriage relationship and prepared ourselves for those risks.

B. In matters of child labor, I can’t help wondering if work for children based on the family’s need for additional income is a good thing rather than a bad thing. Work is an excellent method for creating personal identity. I think you’ll agree with me that we all work not only for the income, but with the idea of earning the respect of those around us.

I’m certain that children respond to this accomplishment as well as adults. Why don’t we require that children work and contribute their income to the family? Make sure, however, that the child’s contribution actually is spent on needs such as food or housing expenses.

I can’t help but notice that this information is shared within the United Nations and within the intellectual community, but not, in general terms, with women! I found the information accidentally while browsing a men’s web ring. Ironic, don’t you think?

What methods are available for women to change their position?

A psychologist told me many years ago: “As the woman goes, so goes the family”

Now that position is powerful! Families build communities and nations! How can your position of power be elevated from its little valued and undesirable circumstances into a position offering women security and respect?

All women, whether head of household or not, need to use their position of power more effectively.

We need to re-think the job of family building. Not cooking, cleaning and errands, but instead the executive level of family building. The United Nations calls it “Human Capital”. I really dislike the term, but basically it means the business of family management.

This UN report concludes that families are the source of “human capital” and women in charge of that project are not prepared to perform. I can’t imagine why it’s being kept such a secret!

Family members look to "Mother" for guidance and stability. Is it time you took control? Are you interested in learning more? “Family Issues” What else do statistics show? Research continues but families operate in the dark.

I suggest that each of us embrace the position of family leadership. Expand it to the limit and grasp the power the position implies in a creative and loving way. We can set new standards in family management.

“Family Issues” offers methods and techniques used by professionals to gain leverage for their positions in business and government which could and should be applied to family issues. Why not create your personal "Golden Parachute" just in case you and your family needs a soft landing some day?

Send $2.00 for “Family Issues” tips and tricks your mother didn't know. Discover the power of the "Golden Parachute"!

The link to this UN report is correct, but for some reason won't work. Here again is the address for the UN report.
Copy and paste this address into your address bar.
http://www.unrisd.org/engindex/publ/list/op/op3/op03-03.htm

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Clementine researches and reports on families and their development. After raising her own family and a successful marriage of over 25 years, she understands the need for family stability and structure.
Clementine encourages a more agressive home management system very different and more effective than has been practiced.
Family goals might be established in areas of activities, education and attitudes. The Head of Household, whether male or female, might take pride in learning leadership abilities and people management skills.

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