Salesman: (entering with a bag containing bananas) Hello everyone I’m here in Barton Seagrave to try and introduce my brand new discovery. I know that it will improve the lives of everyone and hopefully be well received. The best part of all is that I’m giving it away absolutely free. There is enough in this bag to share amongst the whole street. Yes this bag contains the most influential and important discover in the history of the world. And what is this wonderful discovery I hear you cry! Yes ladies and gentlemen this is the wonderful…. The great …. The amazing (pulls banana out of bag)…… THE BANANA! SO this is the first time that the people will experience the exiting new flavours that a new fruit can bring. So let’s go and find our first lucky discoverer. (replaces banana in bag and knocks on first door)
Simon: (opens door) What do you want!
Salesman: I’ve come to share something with you. Something that is really new and exciting
Simon: How much does it cost?
Salesman: Nothing it’s free
Simon: It better not be double-glazing
Salesman: I’m not selling anything this is completely free
Simon: Well let’s see it then.
Salesman: (producing banana) Here it is
Simon: Oh very nice. It’s ever so…..um…. it’s so…er… yellow. Does it plug into hundreds of household appliances with no mess or fuss?
Salesman: No it’s a fruit! You eat it!!!
Simon: A what? A fruit! Oh I see you’re one of those vegetarian nuts! You’re trying to pass yourself off as a salesman, all you’re doing I spreading your superstitious ideas. Everyone with half a brain can see that! There’s no such thing as fruit. I know your game I don’t like it and I won’t have it!!! The Sun yesterday said that both scientists and gardeners are all agreed that there is no such thing as fruit. I believe that you will be telling me that apples exist too next. Yes I knew it. Now look here mate! Don’t you try putting your funny ideas around here anymore. If you do I’ll make sure you have a very uncomfortable time. My wife is a member of the WI I’ll have you know. I know you were sent here by the green party, this is all part of their evil plot to take over the country. Now get lost. I’m going to phone the police and warn them about you. Go on GET OUT!!!!!! (slams door)
Salesman: Oh dear he didn’t seem very delighted and excited. Still there’s plenty more houses around here. I’m not going to let him stop everyone else from discovering this incredible free gift. Let’s find another lucky person to be introduced to the benefits of this free gift.
(Knocks on door which is opened by Diana)
Diana: Good morning what can I do for you?
Salesman: Actually I have something for you!
Diana: What do you have for me? How much does it cost?
Salesman: It’s absolutely free
Diana: Well that doesn’t sound so bad. What is it?
Salesman: (producing banana) It’s a banana
Diana: Oh it’s ever so nice I’m sure.
Salesman: Oh yes it really is lovely.
Diana: Yes I can imagine, what can I do with it?
Salesman: You eat it!
Diana: Eat it? That?
Salesman: Yes it’s really sweet. It’s my favourite fruit
Diana: A fruit you say? Well actually I used to work in a wholesale fruit shop and so I think that I can say I know a lot about fruit, but this thing really is something else.
Salesman: Well yes it’s only just been discovered. Go on try it.
Diana: You mean eat some of it?
Salesman: Yes go on it’s really good.
Diana: Well….. actually I don’t think I’ll bother. You see much as I’m sure you mean well I’m afraid that I can’t quite believe that that really is a fruit and there’s no way that I’m going to eat it! I believe in fruit but not that thing. If I started to eat everything that sort of thing people would say I had become a fanatic. I’m sorry but I think that I’ll stick to the fruit that I know , but thanks for calling! (closes door)
Salesman: I never thought that it’s be so difficult to give something away. I’ll give it one last try (knocks on final door which is opened by Beryl)
Beryl: Yes?
Salesman: I’ve come with a gift for you.
Beryl: A gift? Why me? I hardly know you?
Salesman: Well I’ve made a wonderful discovery and I want to share it with everyone.
Beryl: Oh yes? And how much will it cost?
Salesman: Nothing it’s free
Beryl: Free? Oh let’s have a look!
Salesman: (Handing her banana out of bag) It’s called a banana.
Beryl: A what?
Salesman: Banana
Beryl: Well what do you do with it?
Salesman: You eat it! It’s a fruit
Beryl: A fruit? I’ve never seen one like that before.
Salesman: Of course not it’s new but tastes great. Go on try it!
(Beryl takes banana and is about to eat it)
Salesman: No you peel it first (peels banana) now try.
Beryl: (eats banana) It’s so sweet. So nice. I love it!!!!!!!
(Beryl runs around the church excited giving people bananas. At the same time People throw lots of bananas at congregation)
Salesman: You may find this hard to believe, but my quest to give these fabulous free fruits to people is quite similar to Gods quest to give us eternal life through his son Jesus Christ. This is why it says in the Psalms “Taste and see that the Lord is Good”.