Blind Decisions
Jesus
Sinful nature - ALI G, baseball cap, ghetto blaster, T-shirt and jeans
Every One - Slapper, chewing gum, short skirt
Male - Cilla Black
Ways of world - POSH shirt and tie, cane
Alan - Voice over geezer
Male: Hello and welcome to another programme of "Blind decisions ". Today we will have a lora, lora lafs as three contestants battle for the heart of Miss One, who really is a lovely girl. Let's meet these nice contestants! Introduce yourself chucks.
(Enter Ways of the world, Sinful Nature and Jesus, Sinful Nature has ghetto blaster on. Making a lot of noise, Ways of the world turnis it off)
Ways of the world: Good evening, my name is Ways of the World and I'm contestant number 1, I like to say that I've been around a bit and experienced life!
Sinful Nature: Yo, I'm 2 and I'm Sinful nature. I'm a little bit worr a little bit way, know what I'm mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink.(pause) INNIT!!!!.
Jesus: Hi, I'm number 3 and my name is Jesus of Nazareth. I'm a carpenter.
Male: Right…carpenter. Anyway folks we'll say ta-ra for now to these blokes and say hello to Miss One. Come on down.
(Jesus, Sinful Nature and Ways of the world dissapear behind a screen)
Every One: Hello. The name's One, (pause) Every One.
Male: Ok the chucks…let's get on with the show. We all know the rules, three questions and then Miss One can choose her man.
Every One: Helloooooo
All: (from behind screen) Hi Every
Every One: I'm an affectionate gal who needs to know she's loved. How would you show me that you loved me? That's to number 1.
Ways of the world: I would gladly give you all the money I can get my hands on, that's quite a lot of money.
Every One: Number 2?
Sinful Nature: Welll….nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, INNIT.
Every One: Number 3?
Jesus: I have died for you.
Male: Right, they were interesting answers. What's your next question chuck?
Every One: I'm not perfect. If I did something wrong what would you do? Number 1?
Ways of the world: I would join in with you.
Every One: Number 2?
Sinful Nature: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, INNIT.
Every One: Last but not least 3?
Jesus: I'd forgive you, if you were truly sorry and asked for my forgiveness
Male: That's great and your final question please.
Every One: The ultimate question is why should I choose you? To number 1.
Ways of the world: Ummmmmm……well…..when you think about it……it's…… obvious. You see…….. er…. Yeah.
Male: Well. What do you think Sinful?
Sinful Nature: nudge, nudge, wink ……………
Male: (interrupting) Jesus do you know?
Jesus: Yes, (pause) I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Male: Thank you. Now it's time for you to make your decision, chuck. Let's have a recap from Alan.
Alan: Will you choose number 1: Ways of the World who has experienced life and is ready to give you his all. Although he can't decide why you should choose him, I'm sure there is a reason. Or is it going to be number 2: Sinful Nature who is a little bit something and also something else. He likes to nudge, nudge, wink, wink a lot. There's nothing like imagination. Or maybe number 3: Jesus of Nazareth who has died to forgive you and will lead you to the Father. Who do you choose?