TV Interview

Setting: A TV studio

Characters: Presenter (Michael Aspirin)
    2 interviewed persons (Rene Descartes, Bob Smith (the interpreter))
    Lots of random people (Men In Black, Bob The Builder, Lost Eskimo, Chair bloke, Thunderbirds)


(Theme music)
Mike: Hi! Michael Aspirin here. Tonight we have on the show Rene Descartes, the famous French philosopher. Good evening Rene.

Rene: Jed ne compres pa

Mike: Oh yeah. Rene has with him his interpreter Bob Smith.

Bob: Yo! I'm from Bob Smith massive Diggin' It Large Interpreters Limited

Mike: Tonight we'll be talking about god and proving his existence. Is that something you believed should be proven through philosophy rather than theology?

Rene: Je ne compres pa

Bob: Yes.

Lost Eskimo: (Song: It's Cold outside. enters and looks around.)

Rene: Je nas comprehendes pas

Eskimo: Sorry I must have the wrong studio, where is the show about the artic being filmed?

Mike: Next door. Sorry everyone. Now Rene, so how did you set about this?

Rene: Je ne compres pa

Bob: I started by doubting everything.

Mike: Good…is that your answer or Rene's?

Men In Black: (song: Men In Black Theme. Walk in and look around.)

MIB 1: I think we're in the wrong studio mate.

MIB 2: Excuse us mate where are they filming Men In Black?

Rene: Je ne compres pa

Mike: Studio 5, now get out. So Rene, what conclusion did you come to after doubting everything?

Rene: Je ne compres pa

Bob: I established that I am a thinking being and therefore exist. I think therefore I am.

Mike: But how does that relate to God?

Rene: Je nais comprhendes pas

Bob: I then went on to think about how I have an image of a perfect entity in my mind. As I myself am imperfect the image of a perfect entity must have come from somewhere else….. God

Bob-Builder(song: Bob the Builder theme. Enter and look around)

Bob-Builder: Sorry I'm late. Right kids BOB THE BUILDER CAN WE FIX IT??

Random people - in congregation: BOB THE BUILDER, YES WE CAN

Rene: Je nais comprhendes pas

Mike: I think that you have the wrong studio.

Bon-builder: Sorry sir (exits)

Mike: Rene, some people may argue with that argument for the existance of God, saying that they do not have an image of the perfect entity and that if they do disagree that it has to have come from God

Rene: Je nais comprehendas pas

Bob: I do have another argument

Chair Bloke: (Enters) Aren't chairs brilliant! You can sit on them and they hold your wait. FANTASTIC!!!!!!! You love it! Get in! (sings) Ikea is our leader Ikea is our leader (dances out)

Mike: Sorry about that! So what was that argument

Rene: Je nais comprehendes pas

Bob: Well God is the most perfect thing that you can imagine. If you are perfect you must exist because not existing is a fault so if you don't exist you cannot be perfect.

Mike: But surely that only proves that if God exists he is perfect rather than that God exists

Brains: (song: Thunderbirds Theme. Enters)

Brains: Hi-hi-hi there mister Tracy. Wait a minute you're not Mr. Tracy.

Mike; No GET OUT!!!!!

(exit brains)

Mike: Well thank you. Rene we'll have to leave it there. (to congregation) That was Rene Descartes talking to us about his quest for certainty, which is available at all good (pause) philosophy bookshops. So to sumarise, Rene has proved that if there is a God he must be perfect. I've just been reading this great book, The Bible, and this says there is a God. Ummmmmm...let's put these two things together.....

Theme Music