Entry 000009; 09.11.01

I'm sitting here, eating out of a box of life cereal, staring at the wall, and doing a mental inventory of my family.

I woke up at noon to hear my roomate sqeauling her way up the stairs to my apartment. This is normal. Then i heard rob squealing. Rob doens't squeal. As i'm brushing my teeth, getting ready for my long day of non-stop classes, rob squeals around the kitchen, and rach__l is watching some music video on her computer. They are talking about buildings being blown up and plane's being hijacked.

"Music videos really are getting involved these days. the broadcasters sound read and the footage has that crappy real-life look to it" i think to myself.

So finally i spit out my toothpaste and ask robert what is he so happy about.

Still beaming, he takes a seat at the kitchen table and relates the fact that 2 huge buildings full of people, a bunch of planes, and the pentagon are all blown up or on fire.

I don't get it.

So, he says, all classes for the day have been cancelled

Now, maybe there is something wrong with me. Or maybe this is a huge elaborate joke. because even though i have a very real distaste for human beings, the idea of thousands of people being killed kind of outweighs the joy of missing an EE exam.

So i'm doing inventory of my family. Starting with my maternal aunts, then uncles, then my paternal uncles, and aunts. then my older cousins. To the best of my knowledge, no one is in any danger. But i don't know that for certain.

But, even if no one in my friends and family unit aren't hurt, someone's are. Someone's mother has been killed, and someone's cousin has been killed, and someone's best friend has been killed. this unsettles me. because yes, i see humans as kind of gross little creatures with immoral value systems and self-centered ideas, and some of them DO deserve to be blown up. But even those disgusting versions of human don't deserve the people they love to be hurt. Because that kind of hurt, no one deserves.

So maybe i'm overreacting. But a lot of people are hurt or dead. and it's not really the dead people whom i feel for, but the families. I was in south carolina on vacation when oklahoma happened, and i remmeber watching TV, as rescue parties searched for children. i can't watch TV now, but it's pretty safe to assume that if they aren't doing it now, they will be when the smoke clears. how many of these places have child-care centers?

I wish i was taking an EE exam right now.