Entry 000066; 12.07.01

I hate being a slave to chemicals. Yesterday I was in heat, today i'm PMSing like CRAZY.

I spent an hour in my room today, pacing and baring my teeth at inanimate objects, DARING them to piss me off, just a little, so I could hurl them against a wall. I avoided humans as much as possible because I knew i'd do the same thing with them.

I feel like...killing...something.

To avoid making a complete fool of myself, I spent most of the day sleeping. Well, not really. Because for some reason all my roomates were home all day today. Usually they aren't, and I can get a nap or two in sometimes, but today it was all giggles and yelling and invader zim episodes that were SO FUCKING LOUD. If it's too loud in MY room, what the hell does it sound like when they are sitting there watching it?

To vent my anger, I made some cheesy potatoes.

Oh god I just feel like ripping someone up. Tiger style maybe, with my hands formed into iron claws, ripping at jugulars and spraying blood all over the place. I almost killed Nathan last night. I can't remember why. I think he called me fat. He called me fat. That's right. That's how illogical chemicals can make you. I'm still pretty fucking pissed off at him.

Fuck drugs. It's menstrual cycles that fuck up your brain.

What the HELL? Why does PMS do this? What evolutionary property makes this something that is useful, or at least something that doesn't get someone killed before procreating? I mean jesus if I let out full reign, wihtout fear of later embarrassment, I would probably get into a fight with a three hundred pound gorilla and lose. Miserably. I do not see the benefit of turning into a super-bitch and completely losing control of your temper and logic 5 days out of the month. The being in heat thing, yeah, I can understand how that is a benefit to the procreation of the species, as much as it annoys me. But it's something I can understand and I can deal with. But being illogical? Getting mad about someone calling you fat? Jesus.

21/40