Entry 000085; 01.11.01

The problem with me, I think, is that I can't accept my place, and stay in it. I've been shown and told, time and time again, here at shiny lovely WPI, that I am nothing more than a slut, a whore, a placeholder, for use of body, not of mind.

Yesterday, Nathan tried to SCHEDULE sleeping in my bed. Like making an appointment. Geez....if I'm that sort of whore, perhaps I should start charging.

And knowing me, that stupid moron who just can't accept that she is nothing more than a piece of shit, imagine my fury. Imagine the offense, imagine, for a moment, ladies and gentlemen, the utter, and complete rage that consumed my mind.

Well now. After all these people treating me like a whore, you'd think I'd get the message. But no, i'm so ridiculously thickheaded, I had the nerve to get angry at the idea of someone SCHEDULING me. What a fool I must be.

I have NO idea what kept me from killing Nathan last night. I did everything in my power to counteract any PMS chemicals swirling through my brain, and I still ended up pinning his throat against a wall until he turned red. I still don't know how I managed to let go.

SCHEDULE!!! ME!! THE NERVE! If he had said, "from now on, I'm only going to sleep with the girl creature" then FINE. If he had said, "from now on, I'm only going to sleep with you" then FINE. But no. He said, "I'll sleep with you every night but thursday and tuesday...and whatever other nights girl creature might need to sleep with me." or some shit like that. As if i was some kind of concubine to stick to his schedule. WHAT THE FUCK.

Am I UNJUSTIFIED in being furious? Is there something I am MISSING here? I mean I know i'm PMSing, yet...Nathan is NOT this stupid. There is NO WAY any MORON couldn't see how a statement like that could be VERY VERY VERY OFFENSIVE.

35/75