Entry 000155; 02.09.03

Amazing. Two entries in a row. You know what this means of course. A severe lack of content/readability. I'm willing to bet this bout of daily-updation won't last long at all.

Today I caught the train into Boston, where I met Drooly. He chaperoned me to China Town, where I took a couple rolls of film. We ate dim sum, missed my train, went to his place, tore his room apart looking for something he needs for a gift for april, and then caught the next train back to Worcester. The ride back is always so draining. Half the time, I had to sit next to this guy about my age who kept fidgeting and pulling out a notebook, staring at the front cover, staring at the back cover, opening it to a blank page, staring at it, then putting it away. He would then pull out a CD case, open it, and look at the disc inside. Then he would put that away too, then I believe he would try to take a nap, I am not quite sure though, because he attempted to do this by leaning foward and pushing his forehead into the seat in front of him, where he would stay for a minute or two. Then he would fidget, take out the notebook, wash, rince, repeat, and so on, until a seat finally opened up behind me and I moved.

I am having issues with Drooly's girl-creature. She absolutely refuses to meet me. I've gone to visit him at least three times since she's started dating him, and not once has she even tried to stop in and say "hi." I mean I think I am handling this entire thing like an adult. Here is MY BOY. MINE. My first boyfriend, the boy I loved most of all, years worth of hard work and dedication. And I just handed him off to her without any screaming, poking, or blood spatter. I didn't even make a big fuss when he told me he loved her after a couple of weeks, which does depress me a bit. I mean he loves her as much/more than me in a couple of weaks as he loves me in five years. Drooly says she is nervous and has issues with me being his ex. Well big deal. If anything, I deserve some respect from the little twit. Everything I did when I was going out with him was to train him so he would be a suitable boyfriend for those girlfriends who would follow me. I did this because I want him to find a nice girl who will be able to stand him, and I made him superior to stand-able. I did all this work so she could walk into a nice easy relationship with a very decent guy. And for payment, not only does she not bow and shower me with worship, she even disrespects me by refusing to meet me. Well fine, I don't want to meet her either. And to think all this time I've been hoping Drooly follows my orders and treats her well and showers her with affection in the form of gifts and whatnot. I hope he starts being forgetful and thoughtless to her, for all the work she's put into him, and for her ungreatfulness for my training. To top it off, she's RUINING him. Last night, they watched LESBIAN PORN. One of the best things about Drooly is that he's a nice, clean, un-perverted boy who doesn't treat women like objects, and doesn't get into any of that bullshit. Anyone who can sit there and watch porn without vomiting has at least some measure of ability to de-humanize another human being. I'm really dissapointed in Drooly about that. You'd think the least April could do, if she is going to downright be rude to me and refuse to meet me, is to at least not fuck up the good stuff about him. Fuck.