Entry 000172; 09.19.03

The thing I hate worst about not updating my journal often is that when I finally do, I feel the need to summarize everything that is going on, thereby losing all those charming nuances and details that make these really enjoyable to write and, years later, to read. But then again, when I don't summarize, I think while reading back "what the hell was I doing with all of my time?" and it sort of disvalidates my existence.

So to attempt to leave out the millions of things going on right now, and focus instead on this current week, yesterday I did my first nude posing with a photographer. No not Kaes, but some girl named Rachel who's in all of my classes. It was a perfectly normal, comfortable experience, far more than that of a clothed session with Kaes. Perhaps because this photographer didn't feel the need to plead "Come on, just undo one more button." constantly, since I was completely naked, and also since she wasn't going for the female figure as a piece of candy to be looked upon and lustfully drooled over. Actually, I'm pretty sure she would have taken a male model just as easily as a female one.

The important part of the entire thing is that I overcame that annoying habit every human has of wanting to hide the rolls that occur in your middle when you sit down naked. You sort of have to, since she zoomed in onto it and made a 8"x10" negative of them. Also, my boobs are monoliths. They tower darkly over all, and occupy a dimension of thier own.